Need your opinions
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
Suggest me what to do of my situation and how to proceed:
I met a very lovely girl about 4 months ago. So, I decided to become closer to her, by speaking more often with her.
Got to know her and all. For the first 2 months it was perfect, we were getting closer and closer. No arguments and we were completely matching.
I knew I was far off from her friendzone. I knew how she treats her friends, and it was nothing like that. Then it hit me - I was probably a guy she was nice towards to, mainly because I was an actual nice guy (not the fedora wearers). What if she just wanted to let me down without hurting me too much? Looking back at it:
> I was starting 99.99% of the conversations
> I was leading the conversations
She never did express dislike for them, but never showed anything more than just going with them.
About 1 week ago I decided to cut all contact with her - no speaking, eye contact or social medias. So far, she seems to be totally normal and unchanged.
Should I tell her how I feel or should I focus on forgetting her and moving on?
Anyone, please?
Wait, if I'm reading this right, you
>were interested in a girl
>didn't do anything to show your interest
>cut her off BEFORE she rejects you in case she rejects you
Is that correct?
>So far, she seems to be totally normal and unchanged.
Here is your answer.
If she really wanted to talk/see you, she would make the effort.
>>16479161
Tell her dude, and if she doesn't reciprocate, then move on.
>>16479161
Tell her your feelings first, you idiot.
So who actually loses in this situation? You lose all chances with a girl you're actually interested in, while she loses a guy who expects her to read his mind and is really a Nice Guy, not a nice guy.
>>16479310
I showed her that I had interest in her, and indeed, she didn't reject it, but she never did show that it's much important to her. I guess I felt unappreciated, and got jelous, seeing how much more she did for her friends than for me.
>>16479319
>>16479320
If she decides to ask me about why I cut contact I'll tell her how I felt, I think it's fair that if she makes the effort to see what's up with me she deserves to know
>>16479361
>I showed her that I had interest in her
What did you do?
>>16479364
Asked her out once, was lovely. Asked her out a bit later and got an indefinite answer, and a third time too resulted in an indefinite answer
>>16479373
How long ago was this?
>>16479376
1st date - 1st month
2nd asking out - 2nd
3rd after not getting a response from 2nd - 3rd month
>>16479381
So she turned you down after what, two months, and you still stuck around for two more months? Why?
>>16479386
The basic concept was
>want to go out?
>sure
Never anything more. I just feel that this is a possible relationship for as long as I push interest into her. So far she's been neutral and I don't know what to make of it. Some days she gave me all the hope i the world and some other days she makes me wish I didn't start this
>>16479394
Well if that's how you feel, then I guess you're making the right decision. Don't contact her, because that'll just be you crawling back to her like you've set a precedent of doing. I don't know why you're so invested in a girl you've known 4 months though
>>16479398
Thank you for the help, and if she does contact me, I'll explain it to her. Also invested in her because she's got almost exactly the same personality as me
>>16479408
That's your will-to-life talking. It often pushes you towards people you're incompatible with.
>>16479408
Having the same personality doesn't necessarily make you compatible.
