My boyfriend and I are sexually incompatible but love each other.
I want to have sex a minimum of 3 times a week whereas his libido is very low.
We have talked about it so many times, I just don't know what to do anymore. He always finds an excuse why we can't have sex or whatever. When we don't have sex for a while, I start to notice everything ugly about him, his personality and looks, I also feel trapped and miserable during sexless times.
To top it all off, there is this guy who thinks I am very sexy, he tells me it and he makes me feel sexy. When I talk to him, he gets boners and I think that's hot. I can't help keep being drawn in by him and getting turned on by him because he looks at me with those hungry kind of eyes (something my boyfriend doesn't do) I feel so bad, so guilty and so shitty.
I wish he would just have more sex with me. I don't know what to do, I love him so much but this is making me frustrated.
>>16478632
low libido is a sign of low testosterone
tell your boyfriend to get his T levels checked
if it is low, then he can hop on roids(legally)
his muscle mass will increase, his libido will too. so he can send you to pound town you little slut.
I'm pretty sure you just need to break up. Don't be a cheater.
>>16478643
I already suggested this but he has not done anything about it.
>>16478645
I don't want to be but I feel like I already am by liking his attention. I haven't spoken to that guy in a week.
>>16478632
Are you a girl? By that I mean, do you have two X chromosomes?
>>16478654
I am female, yeah. Why?
>>16478648
This isn't really helpful, but I want you to know I totally relate; when me and my boyfriend haven't had sex in a while I start feeling generally upset and dissatisfied and think kind of shitty things about him. But as soon as we have sex again it's all roses for at least a week.
If we had sex once or twice a week I could be 100% sure I'd spend the rest of my life with him.
>>16478660
That's how I feel too. I feel so bad about it. I should love him and want him always but lately, I just don't. Every time I kiss him or touch him and he is not interested in taking it further, I just want to break up with him after. When we do have sex, it feels like I could be with him forever.
It's really bad.
>>16478648
tell him you will go with him to get his test levels checked and if he still refuses to do so
explain to him you are sexually frustrated in your relationship
if he still refuses to go with you
tell him you think its best you move on
if he still refuses
then you go get plowed
>>16478659
Different answer depending on what you said. Do your best not to cheat. Tell him how this makes you feel in a calm, respectful (to him as a person), honest way. Try to be as clear as possible how this makes you feel and ask him if he's willing to take steps to help make sure you're not feeling unfulfilled. Maybe see a doc and see if he has low T. Now, I'm sure there are some people who just have a low libido, and he may be one of them. I wish you the best in growing closer to your boyfriend.
>>16478675
>Do your best not to cheat.
so if she was a guy instead, it would be ok to cheat?
check your privilege CIS scum
>>16478675
>>16478668
I already have talked to him about this Anon. I really just think we are incompatible with sex.
I don't want to break up with him, I love him but then I can't live with this either.
This month especially, I have felt like this is the end for us. He is my best friend but that's all we are to me at times, just friends.
ITT: Women who haven't discovered vibrators yet.
You're welcome.
>>16478648
if he refuses to improve you need to make him understand the severity of the situation and that your needs aren't met!
if he still refuses to take your needs serious, move on! his loss!
I honestly have been in the exact same situation, only that I was the guy who didn't want to have sex.
Here is what turned it around for me.
I stopped watching porn!
over the years I watched so much porn and I could literally see my fetishes change. from pretty normal sex a couple years ago to face fucking and anal annihilation now. without that I couldn't get off anymore.
no woman could ever fulfil those fantasies and I couldn't talk about it either because I was too ashamed that I was bored of fucking my wife.
so I stopped watching that cancerous shit and told my wife about things I'd like to try. ruff sex, anal, deepthroating and shit.
she loves it and we now have sex every day.
not saying it's the solution to your problem but it's worth a shot.
ask him how often he masturbates and make sure that he knows that you wont be mad, you just want to improve your sex life because you're not happy.
try to find out what he likes and help fulfil each others fantasies without judgement.
communication is key!
but what ever you do, don't cheat on him! you wouldn't want to be cheated on either and you wont feel better afterwards .
tell him how you really feel and that you absolutely need your sex life to improve or you'll have to find other ways to get the satisfaction you want. who knows, some guys are even up for letting their girl get fucked by other guys.
and then if he really won't try to improve it in any way, medical or otherwise, dump his sorry ass.
he either opens up to you and tells you whats going on with him or he's a lost cause.
sorry to say.
>>16478691
They don't do it for me. I want a warm body, hands, mouth etc
>>16478692
Everything you mentioned has been discussed and talked about so much. I'm at the "it's time to let this go" stage. I see no other way. Sex is not meant to be this complicated and the person you love shouldn't 'force' themselves to want sex with you. My love for him just isn't enough to stay anymore and it's scary. Believe me when I say that me thinking sexually of another guy is very unlike m, and the fact I have started to is not good.
>>16478693
it could also help letting him see you masturbate.
get a hitachi magic wand. TRUST me, it will change your life forever! I cum so hard, my whole body starts twitching uncontrollably until I almost pass out.
put on really nice lingerie, lay in front of him, FORCE him to watch you, and then use your magic wand until you pass out!
if that doesn't get him horny, nothing else will!
>>16478716
So what did he say in response to you telling him how you feel?
>>16478688
What did he say?
>>16478716
>Everything you mentioned has been discussed and talked about so much. I'm at the "it's time to let this go" stage. I see no other way.
Yeah, that's what we've been telling you.
>>16478716
well like I said, I was very ashamed during that period and I couldn't tell my wife the truth either. it took A LOT of time and effort on her part until I could finally open up and tell her about my porn addiction and that because of it, I was too boring to fuck her.
but if you really feel everything has been said and nothing else can be done to fix this.
then tell him one last time in all seriousness that you will find someone else to satisfy you.
if that doesn't wake him the fuck up, well then, there you have it. fuck the other guy!
>>16478721
>>16478722
Well he tells me we will try more but that doesn't happen. He also tells me that I am selfish because I make it about only me and not him, so I tried to be more understanding of his condition but it still doesn't change a thing.
It really upsets me on top of this, if he happens to be horny when I'm not with him, he will watch porn, I wish he would wait for me, especially when we are having sex issues already.
>>16478735
>if he happens to be horny when I'm not with him, he will watch porn
That would be my cue to leave.
I would just like to point out how hilariously different this thread would be if the genders were reversed.
>>16478720
Well there was a time I was confident enough to do this with him but 2 years of him not wanting me has made me feel rapey when I want him. I just masturbate by myself. I suggested toys etc but he's just not enthused by it. He'll just nod or say yeah whatever.
>>16478735
see, sounds just like me!
tell him you will try the things he likes in porn!
>>16478748
I did. He knows I am kinky and he knows I watch porn to learn things and he knows I want to explore more than missionary. He knows it all.
>>16478735
It sounds like he wants the pay off but without the effort, hence his turning to porn for immediate gratification (which would be a selfish act in my opinion given the context). He may be hoping that the 'issue' will sort itself out or that you'll find a solution to it eventually yourself as he doesn't see himself as having any part in what is, from his point of view, your problem.
You should spell it out clearly to him that this is a serious matter to you and it will mean the end of your relationship if it can't be resolved together, emphasis on the together part. He needs to understand that being in a relationship means having mutual trust and responsibilities for one another and that these need to be acted upon and not merely cheered on from the sidelines.
If he can't do that and can't begin to address the issues you are both having, it may be time to end it.
If you can't do that but continue to be in a relationship with him, then, well, enjoy your misery I guess?
>>16478632
Consult a professional. Best advice I could offer really.
>>16478762
>You should spell it out clearly to [them] that this is a serious matter to you and it will mean the end of your relationship
Imagine a guy saying this to his girlfriend. Oh lord.
>>16478762
I'm leaving the thread now but thank you. No I am not willing to be miserable and jaded because of this. I have said exactly everything you just typed to him in our previous talks. Again, he doesn't understand how badly this is making me feel, he thinks I'm being a dramatic and too sensitive about it. This is why I need to move on also, he has no softness or kindness towards the issue, he is just defensive and what appears to be bored by me mentioning it to him.
>>16478751
Ok, if all this is true, than aside from getting professional help, there is nothing else you can do.
For me the biggest problem was telling my very conservative wife about my fetishes.
So tell him you'll find someone else to satisfy you if he won't take care of you.
>>16478769
If more guys were assertive and stopped buying into feminist hype, you'd find a lot more content couples. I'd personally love that kind of ruthlessness and stance.
>>16478782
I wholeheartedly agree but the sad fact is that society isn't there yet.
Take me back to ancient Rome/Greece when sexuality wasn't demonized at every opportunity.
>>16478792
>Take me back to ancient Rome/Greece
when men bummed each other openly? fag
>>16479729
Literally nothing wrong with that
>>16478660
>>16478632
Where do you find these low test betas? I am overweight and I still have the energy to fuck at least once a day. I would feel like the biggest kek around if I was only having sex once a week or less.
>>16478632
Gotta decide how important sex is to you.
I actually just ended a relationship due to my ex not wanting to have sex. She only got in the mood like once a month, then when we eventually would have sex she climaxes within a half hour and passes out. She would tell me to either "use her to cum" or to jack off.
I need that physical intimacy with my partner to feel fulfilled. There is no way I would entertain being in that kind of relationship again.
>>16478769
why would that make a difference?
>>16478632
why are you such a fucking slut?
three times a week?
jesus christ do you have no fucking life? is there nothing worthwhile about you besides what's between your legs?
maybe he should leave you
>>16480285
maybe you are an ABSOLUTE BETA. Sex is a large part of peoples lives, that is, if you dont have a wizard level neck beard
>>16478632
>3 times a week
>HIS libido is low
Girl get outta there
>>16480303
This
>>16480285
I'm a dude with a low sex drive. But how is she a slut because she wants sex with her boyfriend 3 times a week.. Are you retarded?
>>16480481
It's bait.
Let me tell you.. Femanon here also I'm in the same boat. We both visit 4chan well he trolled me one day and for a short time we had sex a lot. He proceeded to read where I was going to ask for an open relationship and so he got mad but we ha sex 4-5 Times that week... We are back to the sexless relationship.. But its more because of our sleeping arrangements. Now that we have our bedroom back in functioning order perhaps we may start having sex again. But I understand how you feel. It feels to me when he doesn't want sex he is no longer attracted to me then I feel shunned and then I find myself picking him apart. I have recently (the past week) have been to where I don't want him to touch me. Which I can't tell him. But the reason being is I am aroused by my nipples which he knows. And he is a boob guy naturally and so when we sleep he has a habit of wrapping his arm around me and holding one. In turn makes me aroused. Which then frustrates me and causes me to be up and down because he dont act on my arousal. Then I get mad at him.. And then I nitpick him... It's now day 4 of no kissing no real touching no hugging nothing. And he is a lovely guy but somethings off.. I've given up on trying to have sex.. I've given up on all intimacy..
>>16478735
>Low libido
>watching porn instead of actual sex
You are stuck with one autistic cunt.
Break up because he sounds fucked up in the head and dick
I feel bad for the guy, but if he isn't willing to get his T levels checked or something to work towards fixing your relationship I'd say bail before you cheat on him. What you see as an issue he obviously doesn't, for better or worse.
At this point it seems like a matter of when you're going to cheat, not if. Especially if you're already letting other men flirt with you and discuss their boners around you. Please at least leave him with some fucking dignity intact.
It took a lot of effort to make this post constructive and somewhat helpful instead of just freaking out at you, I hope you listen.
>>16478692
This is the most yahoo answers tumblr hug box post I've ever seen on /adv/.
>>16478632
Find someone who'd pound your pussy 3+ times a day but doesn't love you if you can handle that gurl.
>>16480285
*tips fedora*
>>16480285
>girl enjoys sex
>call girl slut for not having sex with you
>suddenly she's ashamed
>stops having sex with people as much
>begins resenting other women who still get laid
>call them sluts
>the cycle continues
>suddenly all girls are thought to not enjoy sex
>live in a society where men have to chase women relentlessly and pamper them so they'll fuck
>men now have to put in retarded amounts of time so the women won't be perceived as sluts for fucking them cause the men 'earned' it
>meanwhile you still aren't getting laid
>you've just made life harder for everyone else
Fuck you, man. Fuck you and everyone like you.
>>16478632
This thread was posted a couple weeks back.
>>16480673
Was it a shitshow?
>>16480673
Wrong.
>>16480667
The chode-disease and fest is real. Let's hope for a world filled with psycho chicks who know no bounds and have no boundaries and seem to be in need of some serious smacking, that daddy should have given her instead. Having to be this much of a surrogate father. Woopie-fuckin-do!
Just stop being a sex crazed slut. Period.
Get your head checked.
>boohoo, I get sex only 2 times a week :(
>I want to fuck Chad now :D
Is this real life?
Normal people go weeks and months without sex, and without drooling over random dicks who look at your with creepy ''hungry kind of eyes''.
>>16480701
Virgin aspie is rattled?
>>16480839
Faggot nigger is triggered?
>>16478632
>I feel so bad, so guilty and so shitty.
Time to end all of that pain and suffering by being honest with each other and yourself.
>1 - Attempt to meet somewhere in the middle, i.e. the lost art of compromise
Your man tells you he doesn't want it that much. OK, you have to take him at his word. But ask probing questions. Why does he not want it? Is he stressed? Does he have an emotional issue with the relationship that is preventing him from getting in the mood? LISTEN. Listen, listen, listen. Don't judge, just listen. Encourage him to be honest by showing him you can be trusted to not blow his world up if he says something you don't like.
Then, after you feel you have the truth of the matter from him, you two need to sit down and really get into the nuts and bolts of what happens next.
>Compromise
Let's say you want it three times. Can he give you two instead and have you be happy? If he says he's not in the mood, tough shit. Sometimes we both need to give a little to get a little. If he can give you twice per week and you can be satisfied with that, bam compromise. Try it out.
If a compromise isn't possible, then you two need to decide if you can stay together with you being satisfied by a third party. Maybe your man is OK with you fucking other men as long as he gets something he wants in return, i.e. you can fuck other men as long as he gets to decide when, where, who, etc. Maybe you can fuck other men if he can fuck other women when he gets that itch. You see? See if you can compromise.
If NO compromise is possible, then it's time to amicably part ways. Also, as a last resort, maybe he should see a doctor to get his body checked.
>>16478688
You dont fuckin love him. Stop lying to yourself and others. Break up with him and go fucm the other guy. God damn I swear adv has to be the home of the most selfish motherfuckers on the planet.
