I need help.
I'm 22 and going to college. I used to be an autistic loser neet but my social skills have been getting better. I hang around with the "cool kids" during breaks, and we've even been out for drinks several times together. I'm seen as a pretty funny guy and I've danced with qt girls from our class at bars, and got their numbers etc. I'm almost a normie....
But there's one girl who I'm growing more and more infatuated with each day. She lives in the same town as me (nobody else in my class does). We get the same bus to college and usually sit next to each other. She's quite shy. She's a virgin. She's mediocre-looking in terms of physical appearance. She dresses cutely at times but doesn't seem to know much about fashion and make-up. She doesn't have facebook and she seems like the sort of person who doesn't have lots of friends. She's mentioned video games a few times (yesterday I overhead her talking about Guild Wars 2). By all intents and purposes, surely I should be good enough for her, no?
But yet, I have no idea how to approach pursuing a relationship with her. Whenever I'm with her I just don't know what to say; I get really anxious and speechless. We used to talk fine before but now I'm attracted to her, I struggle. Not to mention that all my doubt and self-loathing is now rising to the top again and I keep thinking "Maybe i'm not good enough for her". Plus i'm poor as fuck currently so it's not like I can sweep her off her feet with expensive gifts and dates.
I thought i'd have trouble talking with normie girls and not the shy ones but it seems that it's the complete opposite.
>>16478295
>By all intents and purposes, surely I should be good enough for her, no?
With an attitude like that, I wouldn't be so sure.
>>16478298
I know that sounds arrogant but what I mean is that it's not like i'm some autistic obese creep who is trying to get with the hottest girl in class.
>>16478301
You may not be obese, but if that's your mindset I wouldn't be too sure about the 'autistic creep' part
>>16478424
This.
Also, the cool kids won't hang with you forever. You can't escape who you are. I give you three months tops before you're back to being a social outcast.
>she's a virgin
How do you know if she's shy? Is it american thing?
>hey, my name Annie and I'm a virgin, and what's your name?
Be a man about it. SPIT IT OUT
>>16478295
>She's a virgin.
how would you know this?
>>16478424
It's not necessarily my mindset, more just a minor analysis. It's not like i'm punching above my weight, y'know? Regardless, stop focusing on that little part.
>>16478431
I've been with them almost 3 months now. I nearly sank into being some ostracized guy but I managed to pull myself out of it and put myself in a decent position in the social hierarchy. At worst i'm seen as the "kinda eccentric but funny guy". Oh, and I upset a cute cool girl pretty badly but a week later she was laying down with her head on my lap at a bar and talking to me and we had fun.
So uh yeah, i'm not really an autistic creep. Plus there's a legit autist loser guy in the class so he tends to get most of the heat.
>>16478438
>>16478456
We were playing truth or dare a while back and someone asked her something to do with sex and she shyly said "I'm still a virgin..."
>>16478453
But I keep thinking she might not like such an abrupt approach, and that perhaps I need to play the long game with her.
>>16478476
>shy girl
>talks openly about her sexual (in)experience
She's a whore in sheep skin, for normally shy girls don't participate in spin the bottle and surely don't give away their sexual stats just like that
>>16478532
The whole class was at a bar and playing it. From the sort of person she is and the way she answered, it seems more likely that she is a virgin and not that she's just lying.
This isn't some super hot girl. She looks average as fuck.
>>16478541
Average girls get plowed early on too
>>16478544
Perhaps but I mean really really average. I'm not good at describing people but I am fairly good at analyzing them, and I can tell that this one is being honest about it.
bump- i dont want to be impatient but it's just i'll be seeing her tomorrow
>>16478295
Ask her out. I feel you are describing me 2 or 3 years back when i started uni. Dont listen to those guys, you are making an effort to fit in and its working. Ask the girl out, its going to be hard to muster the courage but either outcome you'll feel aleviated
>>16479785
Thank you. Should I ask her out tomorrow on the bus to college, or later in the day? We might be going out for drinks (the whole class) later so maybe that would be a better time? I'm not sure.
I'm thinking perhaps express some interest on the bus then ask her later.
Also what's a good choice for a first "date" with a shy girl? I'm thinking maybe something simple like getting lunch somewhere.
Oh and a few weeks ago she was talking about learning another language and said that I should do it with her. Should I tell her that I'm still interested in doing it? I'm hoping that'll lead to "practice sessions" at our houses
>>16479973
Dude first of all dont focus so much on her being shy, even though it is a personality feature it only measures how much she shares and not what she is sharing, she is a person after all, not some kitten you dont want to scare away. About timing its hard to say, maybe if you get her alone during the group outing or during the day, personally I wouldnt do it on the bus because if she sais no you have to endure the whole trip. As for actually dating lunch is fine or coffee, as you mentioned she lives in your town so you can go to some café or restaurant in the area. Make your intentions clear, dont leave her thinking you will just have some coffee as friends or she will act acordingly, dont have to be too blatant but she must at least know what she's in for, you cant sucker her into liking you when she doesnt know if you like her.
Lastly dont take my word for it 100% get a feel for the situation your in and do your best
