My gf for 3 1/2 years (now ex i guess) told me she doesn't love me anymore last week. Ive been acumulating fuck ups for a long time (you can ask about it if you're interested), and i think she just had enough.
We got togheter this weekend to talk about it. We had a great day, the best in months, and then we went to some coffee place to talk. She said she was 100% sure when she told me she didn't love me anymore, but now she's not sure (although it could obviously be because we're splitting up and it still hurts). She says she dont want to try and work things up because shes afraid it will do nothing, and best thing is to break up and see what happens. We agreed to remain friendly and talk less and not see each other for a while. Im really sad cause i care very much for this girl (i think she is the one) and i feel like i can make the difference this time. What do you guys think? Has something similar happened to you? There's turning back from this?
Feel free to ask what you want to know or share your own stories.
If you had a good day together and that still couldn't save you, then you don't have any chance of getting her back.
How'd you fuck up?
>>16468974
Like a year and a half into the relationship she fell into depression and started to treat me like shit. I am a little bitch honestly so i usually got mad and not supported her at all. We even broke up for like a week or so and i hooked up with some chick in the meanwhile. I felt so bad about it i told my now ex and well... guess it just fucked things up.
After that i really improved a lot of things, got a pretty good job, i started studying in a good uni and stuff, mainly because she was always trying to get me to do it. Yet, i feel (and so does she i think) i've gotten too serious ("too much work and no play" kind of thing). When we started out i was the opposite, basically spend every day partying (she liked that i was fun but wanted me to be more centered, but i think i over did it)
Self bump with titties because why not.
i'm sort of going through the same thing but with my boyfriend,
he ended it because he was depressed but he didn't say anything about losing interest in me or the sort..he said i deserved better and wouldn't listen to when i said i wanted him
so now i just wonder if it was all a lie to make himself feel better
i used to cry a good amount everyday but now its just a dull pain, i dont want us to end
The issue is the fact that she says she doesn't love you anymore (or is unsure).
It's over. A relationship is a 2-way street.
You cannot make her love you.
She has to want to love you.
>>16469027
Its pretty painful, i get what you feel. In your case i would advice to find the way to make him understand that you really think he's the one for you. It may be hard but i bet you can make him see it if you try.
>>16469056
our relationship was long distance also, so it just makes things that much worse
would it be crazy to move to his area??
where im at now i have nothing anyways
>>16469054
I guess you're right. I've been feeling like shit and i guess that's why i just cant stop hoping we get back together. What she said exactly was she was unsure wether she loved me or not but she feels the relationship its stagnated and damaged and we're too deep into rutine or wathever that it would be impossible to work things out (which its true). So she wants to break up and let time sort it out.
>>16469073
I dunno, it seems kinda sudden specially if he's so unstable. It may hurt you in the long run.
Hello OP and >>16469027
I'm anon, and I'm here to tell you that >>16468974 and >>16469054 don't know what they're talking about.
>good day together and that still couldn't save you
this is true if this was the last day on Earth. Unfortunately, /adv can into waaay too impatience.
>It's over.
Consider this. What you've had is over. That's a good thing.
>That's a good thing
because it's not a good relationship. However, if this is the one for you, you are at this moment facing a magical chance to wake the fuck up and do what is right.
How, you ask?
By detaching yourself from the misery. Have fun. Be a great guy (girl). Act as if you broke up years ago, and your ex just got a new chance to experience what you've become. Take up new hobbies. Excell in your social skills. Work out. Read, write, paint, play, make, build. If you don't want your ex to just leave the old you, while you sit back, rotting away for months, feeling sorry for yourself, give them the opportunity to depart alongside you. It's never too late to fix what is broken, but you HAVE to actually do it. What you had is over, dead, buried. Make sure you continue with life from a better place, and they might just stick around in awe. But do it for yourself first and foremost. There's nothing stopping you, so you should let you partner/ex hold you back, if they're not ready.
>>16469116
shouldn't* let them hold you back
>>16469116
I really appreciate it. I think pretty much the same, im really trying to make the change; ive started to work out again, im getting good grades in uni and basically spending any free time i have with friends. I guess i just dont want to get my hopes too high about getting back with her. Its not that im afraid i will be alone forever or anything, im just a normal guy and i guess i'll find someone sooner or later but i really feel something special with this girl that ive never felt with any other woman ive been before (which is why ive never had a girlfriend before), and im just afraid things are not gonna work out. Sorry if its too bitchy, im in a very vulnerable place and i know i sound like a ten year old.
>>16469144
You don't have to apologies to me, dude.
Fact of the matter is that she probably won't stop being special to you. She doesn't think she loves you anymore, because you haven't reached for your full potential. If you think about it, that's really a compliment. It means that she sees more in you than you''ve allowed yourself to become. But as I said, do it for yourself. Let her run her own little project of breaking up and tryind to find something that makes more sense to her. If you want to become what she's looking for, you've got your motivation right there, but you don't have to tell her about it. Just show that it's possible.
Don't be like me and wait until you're 31 to actually turn things around. A year ago my ex pity fucked me. Eight months later we were standing outside her and her new boyfriends home, and she cried and told me she loves me and that I'm utterly awesome. Wouldn't have happened if I had just been stuck in my rot. I cut contact and let her go. Protif: Love doesn't disappear when you let go.
>>16469220
Thanks man, that's just what i needed to hear. It helps a lot. Cheers.
>>16468962
Oh fuck I think I know you. David?
