>>16461927
do something to be proud of
duh

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2011/10/30/6-tips-to-improve-your-self-esteem/
http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/self-esteem/art-20045374
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hide-and-seek/201205/building-confidence-and-self-esteem

Also going to a therapist helps.

>>16461931
I'm too old to do anything genuinely impressive anymore.

Why do you need to be proud to have self-esteem?
I am confident not because I am proud of something (what the fuck have I done?) but because I have nothing to be ashamed of.
Deal with guilt.

how old are you and what do you consider to be your hobbies?
answer this truthfully and I can then answer all of your other questions.

>>16461951
I have so many things to be ashamed of and the only way to redeem them would be suicide, and I'm not ready for that.

>>16461959
I'm 21 and I don't have hobbies. I browse the internet, get drunk and sometimes try to write. Prose if I'm sober and shitty poetry if I'm drunk.

>>16461966
>I'm too old to do anything genuinely impressive anymore.
>I'm 21

You're not too old, wtf man? Most people are happy to be independent at that age and have their own hard earned money.
Do you have a job? Where do you leave? Do you have any friends of any ranking (close friends, bros, acquaintances, etc)
WTF do you want to do at 21 to be impressive and that you would be proud of? Don't believe the bullshit that all young people always go in all those crazy awesome vacations and hae a ton of fun with lots of friends.

The world you live in (the 16-28 years old range) is all about faking. If I were to believe all of my shitty asian friends, they are all super popular and go on these mega cool vacations. But in truth they work their ass off, have a shitty job and MAYBE afford a vacation every year or 2 years, about which they talk non-stop until the next vacation.

And trust me, "going out and having fun" is also just propaganda. They only take flattering pictures and put on facebook so everyone think they have this mega cool social life. It's all about mentality.

I'll tell you a story that happened when I was in the medical school and it left quite an impression on me

(cont)

>>16461984
(cont)

Note that I was never a social guy. I'm always kinda there, never really saying anything. Anyway when I was in the medical school we used to do these kinds of "field work" in which we basically go in groups to a hospital assigned to us and work there under some medics. IDK how is that called in english but you get the idea.

So I was there with this colleague who is very loud and proud and everyone thinks he's some awesome bro. We had a bit of a break and decided to visit another colleague who is in the Emergency. We didn't find him but a nurse suddenly came to us asking for help with a patient. She thought we were medics not students, and we didn't say anything so we just went there and helped them man.

All was good, and the other day when we had class, my colleague started to brag about how we saved a life and shit like that/ I mean he talked with so much energy and everyone was so amazed. Him and I were in the exact same situation, but he was more of a loudmouth and used it to brag even more, whereas I just kept quiet about it and no one gave a fuck.

In other words, it's all about how you present yourself, even if it's bland. For me, the whole hospital situation was bland and lame, but he bragged a lot about it like it was so cool. /one situation, but two different people. One is the popular bro, the other is the quiet guy. Guess which one is me?

>>16461984
I'm in an useless school I accidentally ended up at in my attempt to get away from my family at 19. In the past two years I've learnt that this school is useless and I will have to find an useful one next.

I'm not working because I can't get a job with no connections and no education (the recession hit my country very bad and the current government is handling it worse than a rabbit deals with motherhood), I have a few friends but they're weird and I need to be careful not to offend them.

I don't care about crazy awesome vacations. I don't care about consuming good things, I feel bad for not producing good things.

I am too stupid to contibute to arts, sciences, politics or in any way go down in world history.

>>16461945
You're never too old to do something impressive.

You can start working on your self-esteem by dropping that shitty attitude and being proud of your new positive attitude.

>>16462125
Like what?

It's kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy. You have no self-esteem because you don't like because you have no self-esteem. Thing is, you don't need to perform an incredible feat or whatever to like yourself, it's just a matter of outlook. Really, all you need to go is start liking yourself. Fake it till you make it.

I hate to post this cliche, but ask yourself if you had all the money in world, how would you spend your life? What would you be occupying your time with?

Once you answer that question, devote yourself to that thing to the point of insanity. Don't feel like you can't contribute anything because you're 21. You know your brain isn't even fully developed yet right? Many winners of prestigious awards in many fields were in their 30s. James Murphy of LCD Soundsystem was basically a nobody, 30-year old still in NYC dance clubs before his career skyrocketed to what it is today.

Modern science confirms that we are not 'fixed' creatures. The more you do something even on shitty days and your stuff sucks dick, more connections are being made in your brain. Through pain and dedication to that thing that you love or discover you love, you will flourish.


I'm writing this because I'm your exact age and was in your position just months ago. Suicidal, anti-social and hopeless until I started learning and practicing music production. If you want to make a change in your life, there's a line in Kendrick Lamar's "Institutionalized " that always resonates strong.

"Shit don't change unless you get up and wash your ass."

>>16462176
I want to write books.

Today, I have written 70 words.

>>16462189
GOOD!

Find time to work it into your day so that you're writing everyday. ESPECIALLY when you don't want to. Everything is a skill that can be mastered with time and practice.

also, establish a schedule for yourself. If you're active, productive and making the most out of everyday, the negative judges in your head won't have time to beat you down.

also the obligatory exercise, get good sleep, eat well, socialize(you can take this in small steps if needed....I'm still working on this aspect)

>>16462209
How do I make myself write when I don't want to?

Everything sounds forced.

>>16462226
First drafts suck. Just force it out onto the page. You can edit the shit out of it when you have it.

>>16462226
Sometimes you can switch it up. Analyze some of your favorite authors and different ones. Practice writing in various genres.

but you have to do it everyday and sometimes it is forced, but sometimes by pushing yourself, you can have a total breakthrough. I'm not saying you have to treat yourself like a classical pianist and do it for 14 hours straight. You can start with a single hour, then soon you'll find yourself going over an hour voluntarily.