Why is abstaining from sex until marriage a stupid idea?
>>16461240
Because you might miss out on valuable life experience before you commit to someone for the rest of your life.
>>16461240
marriage is a broken institution in this day and age in the 1st world
>>16461240
because women are sluts and will fuck 30 men while you waited for no reason
>>16461240
it's not, but due to the high rate of failure in marriages and relationships, so people view it as pointless a waste of time and a meaningless restriction on their body, especially when they can "go out and party".
On top of the fact, many people fall in love young get their hearts completely broken. Making stupid choices and decisions. Because they were young, stupid, and bad judges of character.
Also the people that do choose to abstain from sex generally have such high standards they never find some one, or they simple cannot find some one, at least not with the same values.
There's a lot of valid reasons why it's "useless" for a lot of people, but there's valid reasons why it's not. It's beautiful, meaningful, statistically you have higher success rates for longer last marriages. Less likely to get or pass down STD's. Probably more likely to provide a stable home for your kids as well.
>>16461246
OP here, I'm a female.
Been raised in a family with ideology like this, 21 now and having second doubts about it.
Had a talk with my bf about it, he says it's stupid and was invented by popes and priests in medieval times so young crusaders wouldn't know what love and beauty of a woman would feel like. He put out some other arguments about exploring yourself and finding sexual compatability before marriage, but it wasn't too convincing.
Not sure what to think of all this. Seems like he has a point.
Because marriage is a social contract of long term sexual exclusivity and it is not a good idea to forge a social contract of sexual exclusivity with someone you might not be sexually compatible with. Long term sexual exclusivity should be extensively tested for as long as possible before forging such a social contract. This simple logic has been historically pushed aside with social pressure and religious shaming for the purpose of family planning due to poor living conditions in human settlements. We do not live in such conditions anymore and therefore we do not need to forcefully create unhappy relationships for the sake of tribe fertility. We return to the default natural state of simple logic that if we want to do something then we should test it.
>>16461252
>exploring yourself
Getting drunk and taking advantage of the opposite gender is a favorite activity of weak minded people
I would never take anyone seriously that fucks indiscriminately like an animal
also your bf is stupid because monogamy is older than the Abrahamic religions
Like I said
weak minded people
>>16461252
As a guy who isn't religious and spends a lot of time thinking about influences on the body and mind, he's just being an edgy faggot that probably wants to get into your pants without committing fully. It might not be his fault though, chemicals in the body and brain can do a lot to convince you to buy into a bunch of shit.
The restrictions on soldiers were mostly implemented so they wouldn't abandon the battle field and could focus on fighting, It's easier to leave the family you don't have. They didn't care if you had fucked women they just didn't want you caring about the woman or the child she might have had with you, and if you had a proper relationship and marriage with her you'd be more inclined to avoid fighting.
Honestly there's a lot of reasons people do and don't commit related to governments and religion historically.
It's as much a biological reflex to have an intimate relationship, as much as it is to want to fuck everything, no matter what.
>>16461252
Your boyfriend is using an exaggerated argument. Sexual exclusivity bound by marriage was not particularly invented by the clergy in medieval time. It was a natural conclusion reached by nearly every human culture on the planet. It dates for as long as written history existed. It was simply due to a lack of birth control technology. We do have birth control technology now. Your boyfriend is right that it is silly.
>>16461250
>High rate of failures of marriages
The vast majority of first marriages last.
However, there are repeat offenders. As in people who marry repeatedly, year after year that drives the percentage up.
>>16461257
This is a really good response. Thanks a lot.
>>16461260
You're alright as well.
>>16461259
Sexual exploration is not synonymous with inebriated predatory sexual abuse. It does not require a particular strong mind to make this distinction. You sound weak minded.
Because it makes the people around you very insecure about the "mistakes" they made.
>>16461259
>>16461260
>>16461261
>>16461252
finding sexual compatibility with someone is SUPER important to having a good relationship. Regardless of what the retards on here tell you, your bf has a point. Not so much about the medieval times bullshit, but everything else.
>>16461265
Lol keep making justification for being a liberal fuckhole
>>16461257
>it is not a good idea to forge a social contract of sexual exclusivity with someone you might not be sexually compatible with
Total myth. Sexual incompatibility is easy to determine long before having sex.
>>16461269
>sexual compatibility
liberal meme created by porn addicts that think their foot fetish BDSM shit is natural and part of a real relationship
Penis? Check
Vagina? Check
Boom you're sexually compatible
>>16461273
I know you're a tripfag but you have to at least try to be convincing when you shitpost.
>>16461274
There's literally no such thing as "sexual compatibility"
>>16461276
Not sure if you haven't had sex or managed to nail good sex with your first partner, but sex with different people feels different. Some go good together, some don't. Sometimes it's wild and fun, sometimes it's awkward and boring. Penis + vagina does not mean good, enjoyable pleasures, both emotional and physical.
>>16461260
I agree that it is human to want an intimate relationship. It is perfectly fine if someone wants to abstain from sex for personal reasons. It is perfectly fine if a couple wants to abstain from sexual activity until their relationship is celebrated by a social event. However it's not because a couple wants to a celebration that this social celebration should be marriage. It should not be marriage. People who don't do something should not make a vow about it. This is what leads divorces. It creates unhappy relationships. These unhappy relationships were forced in the past and they do not need to be forced today.
>>16461276
That's a strange way to admit to the world that you are bisexual. You go gurl, flaunt it honey!
>>16461289
Because you wont know if you're sexually compatible with the guy you're marrying.
Doesn't mean you should do the opposite and sit on a thousand dicks of course, just that you should have sex with serious prospects, definitely if you're engaged.
>>16461240
Testdrive that pussy
>>16461252
>Had a talk with my bf about it, he says it's stupid and was invented by popes and priests in medieval times so young crusaders wouldn't know what love and beauty of a woman would feel like.
Generally, when someone gives you an obviously false reason for something it should set off alarm bells.
Your boyfriend is speaking the truth (sorta). However he isn't promising that he wants more than sex. Please keep this in mind. This is an entirely different subject. However perhaps we do need to touch upon this subject. Your boyfriend doesn't have to promise that he wants more than sex. He doesn't have to promise he'll stay with you after you hypothetically have sex. That's ok. He's a human and he has feelings. He doesn't have to force his feelings. If you like intimacy then it's your job to emotionally seduce your boyfriend so hard that he'll want to stay for cuddles even after a long night of sex partying. That's how every relationship works. You seduce people emotionally and sexually. In fact you have to be extra careful in a relationship that involves sexual frustration. If you commit the mistake of relying on sexual frustration to keep him interested then you might lose sight of what matters the most.
many peapol will not even consider geting maried unless they hav done the snuu-snuu
>>16461252
>believing a guy trying to get into your pants to stop practicing premarital chastity
This is what's called a vested interest. He directly benefits from you dropping the whole "no vagina until marriage" mindset.
Do whatever you want, but your parents aren't just trying to trick you into earning the color of your wedding dress for nothing.
It's not. Casual sex is degenerate. Millennial women have less than a 50% chance of getting married ever because millennial men know that they're whores. Keep your hymen and you'll get a diamond.
I can't speak for every person, but my wife got around before we met. I looked past it. Four years together, two of them married, and she wasn't able to stay committed to one person. Divorce is finalized tomorrow. Or Maybe Monday; I don't know how the weekend affects the paperwork.
>>16462728
this guy is absolutely correct.
>>16461240
You miss one option to have fun. Also you will lack experience, which would be annoying for a competent partner nor wouldn't know how to help a virginfag.
Also there is no benefit.
>>16461252
You sound surprised that your 21 year old boyfriend is giving you reasons to have sex with him before marriage, is that really surprising to you? Also I suggest you do research on the history of it yourself, since from what you said your boyfriend is full of shit, since its practiced by many other religions, and cultures that existed before Christianity. It sounds like he was just making stuff up so you would have sex with him desu. When it comes down to it only you can really decide, not him, or anybody else, nor should you let others pressure you into doing it.
cuz most of those girls are afraid of their genitals (besides periods) and itll be a long time until you get her off because she wont know what its supposed to feel like/what feels good ... happened to a friend of mine unfortunately, girl was deathly scared of sex :(
>>16463315
While the reasoning of her boyfriend is limited as fuck, it's essentially right. Not having sex because of any other reason than your own decision is dumb and letting any ideology affect your decision is just as dumb if not dumber.
>When it comes down to it only you can really decide, not him, or anybody else, nor should you let others pressure you into doing it.
Sums it up though.
I don't think it's stupid, OP. You shouldn't forsake your values in a relationship. That's a recipe for disaster. You should instead find someone with the same values.
I absolutely believe that compatibility is KEY, however I also believe that physical compatibility can be greatly determined through know inning yourself and clear communication with your partner. You learn way more from that than by just having sex.
>>16461259
I usually would disagree with you. But you're right
>>16461280
/thread
>>16461280
>sometimes it's awkward and boring.
Every time I've ever done anything sexual with a girl has always been like that. That's why I quit.
>>16461269
That being said, every partner she has decreases her chance of a lasting marriage and increases her chance of STDs. Obviously you don't want to be infertile from an asymptomatic gonorrhea or chlamydia infection.
>>16461240
>Why is abstaining from sex until marriage a stupid idea?
It's not. But whether you agree or disagree boils down to how much integrity you have as a person and what values in life drive you. If sex is important then go out and explore. If there's something else that's important then focus on that. Sex shouldn't be on your mind unless it happens.
Whether you start gaining levels in your sexual debauchery or hermit enlightenment is your own business and nobody should force you to deviate from your position. Nor should you allow others to do so. Basically, there's no point discussing the issue.
>>16461259
no fucking multiple partners is much older
>>16461240
OP all your values are not your values, they are the Ideas that someone long before your parents parents parents though of, just to control others
your ''values'' don't exist, they are social constructs that others long ago made up that is nothing but an illusion
marriage is a meaningless ritual
sex is just a physical act
it doesn't fucking matter when you have sex, noone give a shit, its not any good, and its not any bad. Its as if you created the same social constructs but instead of sex you cleaned each others ears for the first time, or drank from the same milkshake at the first time
stop being a sheep and do what you want you easily manipulated tool
>>16465908
>this is what sluts actually believe
Riddle me this batman
I women were meant to have more than one partner why do they only have one vagina?
>>16461240
why not :^)
>>16461240
Because virgins have a two percent rate of divorce and that can't possibly be beneficial.
>>16466009
if you are supposed to exist for more than one day why do you have only one body?
>>16461263
Do they last because the couples actually put in work and keep it alive or because of complacence and the whole "whelp, we've been together this long why kill the marathon now" feelings?
>>16462728
If the guy/girl is the first you've ever had sexually and you lock it down with marriage, of course you're gonna stay since it's all you know.
is it bad if gf isn't virgin but i am
>>16463420
yup
>>16466009
wow
>>16466009
We have 9 places for potential dicks but we mostly keep them on our shelves.
Sex is overrated
wait or not, its boring
>>16461240
It isn't, if you have a strong foundation than any sexual compatibility issues that may arise between the couple after marriage can be worked through.
>>16467697
Yep.
Sex feels like a bag of sand.
>>16461252
Imagine if you get married to your boyfriend and he has a small penis and premature ejaculation and you grow to hate sex.
It's good to know if you have sexual compatability before committing yourself to someone for the rest of your life.
>>16467642
>9 places
Wha
Please name all, isn't there only 5, technically 7
![1279082592656[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/dpUxd5l.jpg "1279082592656[1].jpg")
>>16468430
>>16467590
why
>>16467902
OR imagine you think your marrying a girl but it's really a man with a dick and fake boobs
>>16461240
It's a great idea to find out if you're actually compatible as people, instead of thinking you get along fine just because the sex is good.
it's not a stupid idea, it's just one you shouldn't expect everyone else to emulate or even care about
>>16461259
so that means you yourself are either married or a virgin, right?
>tfw you're not and just a filthy hypocrite
I grew up in an extremely restricting and controlling religious family that insisted on waiting until marriage. I got the fuck out of there when I turned 18, but almost all the girls I knew who did it the "right" way are stuck in loveless marriages held together by guilt of disappointing their family and fearing the wrath of God or whatever. I know at least one of them is now a battered wife but won't leave him for this reason. but if you look at that moronic graph the tripfag posted, this is supposedly a good thing! yeah, right. not to mention a lot of guys want a virgin gf because they're usually way easier to manipulate and the guy can be shit in bed but she wouldn't know the difference
but what it really comes down to do it if YOU want to. don't do it because it's "how you were raised" or it's what your family would want. do it because it's what YOU value. not your family or anyone else. if your boyfriend can't understand that then he isn't the one
>>16461240
Because once you're married and realize that your sexlife is a nightmare it's too late for regrets. You wouldn't buy a car without test driving it, so why would you marry a life long partner without fucking them first?
>>16468982
The only person I've had sex with was my fiancee
So I'm not a hypocrite, faggot
>>16469032
So you admit you had sex before marriage? You're disgusting.
>>16461263
YEAH, AND MOST OF THOSE FIRST MARRIAGES ARE OLDER THAN 40 YEARS FROM A TIME EVERY ONE CLAIMS WAS EXTREMELY SEXIST, RACIST AND RELIGIOUS.
Modern marriages, even first ones last FAR less than the marriages made a long time ago.
>>16469032
>had sex before marriage
>bitches that others should wait
you moron
>>16461259
>>16462728
These charts present inconclusive information. They are deliberately crafted to to lead people to erroneous conclusions. Statistics need to be drawn from comparable demographics in order to draw valid conclusions. This information is not drawn from equivalent demographics. It can only lead to invalid conclusions in a way that can only be assumed to be grossly deliberate. The charts even commit the most basic mistake of throwing together people from different age groups by a whole 30 years. It is an incredulous statistical offense to compare people from different generations. People from different generations have different sexual history and the many differences between their generation are not inherently caused BY their sexual history. It's a classic mistake of correlation versus causation. But don't led that get in the way of your hot opinions. Please consult the following proof that you should not date people who use computers regularly. Your optimal dating pool consists of people age 70+ from the generation that used less computers and divorced less often.
>>16469115
>>16469068
>implying zoological monogamy is marriage
Women are incapable of rational thought
No wonder they slut around
