Maybe you should be more proactive and try to show him that he IS special and important to you, not just someone you feel is nice to have around. Instead of reacting to his insecurity. It is easy to develop insecurities when you can't be sure the other person feels the same way about you as you do about them.

>>16459373
But I show how much I love him all the time and tell him how much he means to me and how lucky I am to be with him already. What else could I do to be more pro-active?

>>16459353
>Should I cave and give him the reaction he wants sometimes?
No, it's better for both parties if you don't feed insecurity. Eventually, when he's starts to trust in himself (and the relationship) he won't feel as bad.

>I just want him to feel secure with me and that I value him and our relationship.
It's not going to change how he feels long-term, only in the moment. That's just part of his personality that you're going to have to live with. You'll only make things worse by showing him that acting out with that behavior is okay. Then his behavior will get worse over time, because he'll start using it for control.

>>16459449
>But I show how much I love him all the time and tell him how much he means to me and how lucky I am to be with him already.
In the way that YOU want. In YOUR opinion. In YOUR ways of expressing affection.

CLEARLY not in the way that HE appreciates/wants.

Fucking female solipsism, I swear.

>>16459478
I like you lol

>>16459353
When the person I'm dating acts jealous, I feel warmed and happy that they like me enough to be jealous. I then reassure them there's no reason for jealousy.

When I'm jealous, the only thing I need is the same reassurance from my partner.

>>16459478
Sooo then his way is by OP acting jealous then?

>>16459502
Nowhere I said that.

But if he felt appreciated these childish jealousy games wouldn't be an issue.

>>16459478
>>16459509
Well what's your suggestion then? I think objectively as a partner, I make a reasonable effort to keep our relationship solid without being neglectful.

>>16459470
>>16459498
What if I say something like
>"Hey baby, remember that I love you so much"
>"You're a really good looking guy, be careful handsome"
>"Don't forget about me"
Whenever he tries to get me jealous?

>>16459562
Well, if words are your method of expressing affection, it will only buy you so much before things turn sour.

And if instead it's words+sex, a little more time.

>>16459449

how do you show him?

>>16459562
>What if I say something like
>"Hey baby, remember that I love you so much"
>"You're a really good looking guy, be careful handsome"
>"Don't forget about me"
>Whenever he tries to get me jealous?

I'm not your boyfriend, so I don't know exactly what kind of reassurance he needs, but that sounds very insincere. In the same way that you wouldn't give a compliment unless you genuinely felt it in the moment, you wouldn't say these things to him unless you genuinely felt jealous. Just stop.

>>16459579
Well you still aren't giving me much to work with... what exactly should I be doing to be the perfect girlfriend then?

>>16459581
It's only been about 6 months, so basically I tell him how much he means to me, that I think about him all the time, and other sweet-talk everyday. I also listen to his problems and complaints and do my best to cheer him up. We're also long distance, so I take 70 dollar round trips to his place, and we'll cuddle and have sex. His birthday was a couple days ago too; I'm an artist so I made a hand-made card with a drawing of him and wrote a long letter about how much I appreciate him, and I sent him a big box of fererro rocher chocolates because I know he likes them.

I'm a college student in a very rigorous program and he's working 6 days a week with night shifts, so it's hard to find a time we can meet up and my money is limited.

>>16459605
>We're also long distance

WHOA WHOA WHOA

Should've put that in the OP.

>>16459605
>It's only been about 6 months, so basically I tell him how much he means to me, that I think about him all the time, and other sweet-talk everyday. I also listen to his problems and complaints and do my best to cheer him up. We're also long distance, so I take 70 dollar round trips to his place, and we'll cuddle and have sex. His birthday was a couple days ago too; I'm an artist so I made a hand-made card with a drawing of him and wrote a long letter about how much I appreciate him, and I sent him a big box of fererro rocher chocolates because I know he likes them.
Jesus Christ, you sound like an amazing gf

>>16459605
>what exactly should I be doing to be the perfect girlfriend then?
Well, you can't be per-

>It's only been about 6 months, so basically I tell him how much he means to me, that I think about him all the time, and other sweet-talk everyday. I also listen to his problems and complaints and do my best to cheer him up. We're also long distance, so I take 70 dollar round trips to his place, and we'll cuddle and have sex. His birthday was a couple days ago too; I'm an artist so I made a hand-made card with a drawing of him and wrote a long letter about how much I appreciate him, and I sent him a big box of fererro rocher chocolates because I know he likes them.
God damn. If he's still insecure after that, he's just fucked in the head.

>>16459593
Ok... so I shouldn't react to him being jealous then?

I mean it's not that I don't get a little bit jealous sometimes. I just don't express it because up til now, I didn't think it was a good idea to because I don't want to come off as un-trusting or crazy and give him a reason to cheat.

And it's just that personally, I never felt that cheaters are worth my concern, and other peoples' actions are beyond my control anyway; if he loves me, he'll stay and be loyal. So it's pointless to be jealous. If he turns out to be a cheater or leaves me for someone else, then I'll be moving on because it was never meant to be.

But so far, he's been very honest and loyal to me, so I just want to make him as happy as I can.

>>16459611
Yeah I guess, I just didn't want anons to judge... we met online too so yeah. We really want to make this work.

>>16459614
>>16459627
Thank you, I'm trying with the distance and time we've got, but I've done more like cooking and bringing soup and stuff when my exes were sick because we lived closer. I wish I could do the same with him, but in due time I guess.

He's pretty insecure about his age especially since he's 28 and not where he wants to be in life, which I think may be his biggest reason. He also has some health issues which prevent him from working out, so getting fat is one of his concerns. I remember him saying he hopes to be "enough of a man" to me, which is silly, because I've never found a guy who was as attentive and honest as him (and also attractive) until now.

>>16459679
>He's pretty insecure about his age especially since he's 28
is he younger or older than you?

>>16459696
He's older, I'm 23, but will be turning 24 in January.