Have you ever broken up with a long term partner when you were torn over whether it was the right thing to do? Not because of something they did wrong, or because there was someone else you were interested in. How did you feel when you ended it?
>>16455868
If you are young, this is normal. Do not drag it out for either of you. Just rip the bandage off.
A big stress reliever , like it sucked and it did hurt but it was for the best.
Sounds like someone made a commitment without first thinking about what they stood to get in return for it.
Relationships aren't Disney shit. Commitment is a huge sacrifice. If you make it on the back of hormones and fantasy, you'll find yourself having given up an awful lot without an understanding of why. Then you question the entire point of having done it in the first place.
It's one thing if you could say "I'm torn over whether this is worth it." At least then you could assess worth. Here you're talking in vagaries. Break up and make your next attempt at commitment a lot more thoughtful.
>>16455883
Pretty much this. I was excited to have someone and didn't fully know what I was getting into.
How do I break up with someone that is deeply in love and committed to me for years with no warning of something wrong? Thinking about doing it makes me miserable. "Hey that was a great week we just had ha-ha,I'm glad your so happy with me. anyway, I'm not interested in seeing you again, bye!"
Bumping because I'm in the same boat
I've been on the receiving end of this and let me tell you this its fucking terrible. To be told out of the blue one day that your seemingly good, well adjusted relationship is just over.
But if you let it drag on it hurts the other person more and more.
>>16456340
As another anon said, that's what it's like being young, and that's life. I could tell you that you could let them know how you feel and see if there was a way to fix it, but if you're not interested then just end it. There will never be a good way.
Some people try to create problems in order to cause a breakup, but that's not only immature, it's hurtful to a person who did nothing wrong. The least you could do is give them a clean breakup. It's going to hurt enough as is.
>>16457043
>>16456340
Need more information. How exactly are you torn?
Do you have a solid reason for why you feel the way you do? Or do you just kind of have the vague idea that you aren't sure if they're right for you?
If you just have this sorta vague idea/feeling, then stick with them. Life is short and we all have doubts sometimes. It is far better to stick with the partner you have than to dump them for no solid reason. The feeling can (and probably will) pass.
Remember: Unless you can put a solid reasoning to the feeling, the problem is with YOU. The way to deal with that is not to dump your partner. The way to deal with that is to find out what's behind the feeling. If you have a solid reason, figure it out. If you can't find one, realize that your doubt might be you trying to sabotage yourself, or your own insecurity.
If you can't find a solid reason, but the feeling won't go away, then you should break up with them. But you should feel like shit about it, because it is 100 percent your fault, and in all likelihood, that feeling of doubt is going to show up eventually in your future relationships as well, regardless of how well they go. Your partner will have every right to hate you for what you do.
>>16457081
That's some pretty solid advice man.
I've been in a ldr for almost 2 years and one of my friends that's a girl is really into me and I know I can have her. But I'm just lonely and my partner is always busy with school/work/friends and we never get to skype anymore. Every time we plan on moving in together it gets pushed back and I guess I just don't want to wait around even though my gf is like perfect for me. I'm just really lonely and this other girl is giving me twice as attention than my actual girlfriend. And I'm sure it's natural how I feel I just don't want to regret anything.
>>16457144
LDRs are always tough. Frankly, I advise doing the move-in as soon as you can, since in a LDR there are so many forces working against you.
But yeah, in your case, your doubt is probably just your brain rationalizing why you should dump the gf for someone more available. Don't do it. If your gf is really perfect for you you would regret it for the rest of your life. People like to give shitty advice and tell you that "Oh you can find someone who makes you happy no matter how old you are", but the brutal truth is this isn't realistic. If you leave someone who really makes you happy for superfluous reasons, it might be your greatest regret 10 years down the line, when you begin to realize you'll never meet someone who made you feel quite like they did.
Get your gf to give you some more of her time, be assertive. You're in a relationship with her, you both have an obligation to each other. And get more serious about moving in together.
>>16457155
Thank you man I appreciate that so much!
>>16457155
As solid as this advice is I'm not sure you're exactly looking at it in a full sense. Break up or not, shit sucks. But to say that 10 years down the line you'll regret it may be a bit of an overstatement, or you may just be over reacting.
people change, its apart of growing up. You may not meet an incredible new girl right away but that doesn't mean you should sacrifice your own happiness and try to hold onto something that isn't there.
>>16457211
Ultimately, if you really love your girlfriend and want to be there by all means keep at it. I just feel its a bit silly and dramatic to think this one women is all you'll ever have. Good luck dude.
