So I finally managed to get myself a girlfriend, and if I was a normal human being, everything would actually be going great in my life for the first time ever. I don't mean to brag, but she's so attractive that I honestly don't know how I managed to get with her.
There's one problem though... I have mild depression and I think it could be affecting my sex drive somewhat. I pretty much never get horny anymore, I feel like I could quite happily go without sex and I only really do it with her to try and keep her satisfied.
Key word there is 'try'. I have pretty much everything going against me in the bedroom. Low libido, premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction. The first time we had sex actually went okay, I lasted a decent amount of time and was able to keep it up but the second time I finished from her hand and then couldn't get it back up to do anything else.
She says it doesn't matter but I know it's affecting the relationship and I don't know what the fuck to do. I went to a GP and she just told me it's probably the depression and that I should consider getting councelling. Not really a big help.
>Before anyone says it, no, I'm not gay.
>I don't watch porn or jerk off nearly as much as I used to
>I walk quite a long distance every day so I'd say I get a decent amount of exercise
>I'm not sure it's a biological problem because as I said before, it's not impossible for me to get it up, I have no idea what's going on.
Please someone help me, I honestly don't know what the fuck to do.
>>16455456
Do you regularly get morning wood?
>>16455690
Nope, never.
Ok ok op , coming from a guy this happened to.... Make a smoothie every morning , put a banana or 2 in that bitch , gets the blood pumpin like crazy down there , put some protein powder in that motha fucker , i use to nutt in like a 1-2 mins , with this powder it takes me like 5-7 mins probably longer but i make her nutt within that time and i get bored so sorta make myself nutt. But yeah it works
honestly if i was you i'd get my hormones checked just to make sure that's not the issue.
other than that.. just exercise more
try to relax, the less u worry about it the less it will happen, stress is a huge killer
>>16455755
How old are you? Do you smoke/drink? BMI?
If you don't ever get morning wood that's more of a sign that it could be physical rather than psychological.
Do you have these problems when you fap?
>>16455905
I'm 18, I drink, no idea what my BMI is but I'm not overweight.
I'll probably go get my blood tested then.
Nope. The only real problem I've had with her is that she finished me off too quickly and then I couldn't get it back up after that. First time we had sex it went okay.
It's not like my dick is completely dead but I feel like there's not enough activity down there, like it only goes up when it absolutely has to.
>>16455456
Are you on meds? anti-depressants are known to be libido killers.
Also, you need to try to boost your T levels.
Leg Presses/general weight lifting culd help.
And adjust diet as necessary...try google for that.
>>16455943
No, not any medication.
I get a decent amount of exercise and eat fairly well, I wouldn't say my lifestyle is drastically different from anyone else so I don't get why my T levels would be low
>>16455948
Have you tried closing your eyes and imagining she's a guy?
>>16455956
Read the post.
>>16455958
I'm just confirming that you know for a fact you're not. So, have you?
>>16455974
No I haven't, but it isn't a case of 'ooh i dont like this particular girl' or 'i wish i was fucking a man'. I have no sex drive, period.
>>16455977
Get a second opinion, and not from a woman this time.
Increasing your testosterone might help, yeah. The usual advice on that front is the best -- eat well (lots of protein, animal fat is OK but sugar is really not, eat your veggies and keep grains to a moderation), lift weights, get plenty of rest, destress. That will definitely increase your testosterone -- and improve your overall health as well. It might even help your depression.
But ... it probably won't cure your depression. And hard as it is, that's probably the only real fix for this. Depression KILLS libido, in both sexes. Any "life hack" answers you get on here are likely to provide limited and temporary success at best. The only real solution is the hard one -- work on your mental health. Easier said than done, I know. You really should reconsider seeing a therapist. It's stupid to try and tackle this on your own.
>>16456000
Don't even know what you mean by that.
I'm telling you myself that I have no sex drive, I don't need someone's opinion to know that.
>>16456007
I've booked to see a councellor next week.
It's just weird because I feel like I should really be happy right now, but I'm still not and this penis issue is pretty much the reason for that.
Hey OP, I've had similar problems before.
Here are my tips. Try to do as many of them as possible if you can. Not only will they help your dick problems but they will help your depression and life overall:
- Start doing 1 hour of cardio a day. Even if it's just walking around where you live with some headphones in.
- Start weight lifting / going to the gym. Read the stick on /fit/.
- Eat healthy. Cut out all soda and chips and candies. Again, the sticky on /fit/ will help you here.
- Quit boozing and smoking and doing any drugs if you do those.
- STOP WATCHING PORN AND MASTURBATING. Completely. This includes softcore porn, so basically avoid any nudity or even bikini pics.
- Spend more time outside. Even if it's just reading a book under a tree. Spend more time in nature.
- Make sure you're eating your veggies.
- Take Vitamin D and Omega 3-6-9 pills.
Realize that your brain and dick are currently fucked and that this may take time. There is no magic way to fix this. It takes effort. But do all this shit everyday dude. And get off 4chan if you can. Eventually you'll be lifting weights or reading outside and you'll pop a boner and you know you'll be back.
>>16456009
>I went to a GP and she just told me it's probably the depression and that I should consider getting councelling
Women are dumb and obsessed with feelings. Again, if you're not getting morning wood your problem is probably at least partially physical.
>>16456019
She told me to get a blood test as well.
>>16455690
Not op. Is this a thing? I never really had it very often, like once a week tops, maybe I fap too much(1 to 2 times a day)? I also pretty much dont have random boners anymore. Im 21 and smoke since 18 with a few month breaks once in a while
Do you have performance anxiety perhaps?
About 1 in 10 sessions with my ex I'd lose my boner and be unable to get it back up. It was normally from something that'd happen in the bedroom, I'd lean on her hair or whatever and she'd have to take some time out to have a moan, thus killing any sexiness.
Once it starts getting floppy you begin fretting and this only worsens it.
It sounds counter productive but learn to not care. She loves you regardless. Yes it's disappointing but that just means you'll make it up to her next time.
Keep your self esteem up, be confident and enjoy yourself! Sex isn't an act or a chore, your both in it to just simply enjoy yourselves, relax man you got this and your not alone.
>>16456098
Maybe, I mean I was kinda worried about this last year when I was still a virgin so I don't know. It's constantly on my mind though.
About a month ago I went through a phase where it got better, it was pretty cool. Then I watched some porn and it went back to how it is now so I'm thinking porn is a factor.
>>16456066
I'm 25, fap 3-4 times a day and get morning wood practically every morning. I'm a bit overweight but don't smoke.
You might be getting them while you sleep and just don't wake up with them. Men get them throughout REM sleep as a way of maintaining/repairing the body.
Because that's a physical thing, the first and easiest test regarding erectile dysfunction is whether you get morning wood. If you do, then it's obviously psychological because you physically can and do get erections. If you don't get morning wood then it could be anything.
I don't know how sex drive and testosterone affect that, though.
>>16456138
I have no problems getting erections though, they just dont when I wake up, never knew this was an issue
>>16455456
Anti-depressants, or viagra.
>>16456157
It's not an issue if it's not an issue. Carry on.
