What was the context? What did she say/who was she talking to?

>>16520665
Alright, green text time
>lying in bed, gf's asleep
>her phone goes off so I check it because I'm insecure as fuck
>text was from her friend so I scroll through their convo
>she says "I wish [me] had [my brother]'s body."
>brother is younger, fatter, but bulkier, and has nowhere near the confidence or charisma I do, just kind of a shut in
The thing that gets me is lately she's been all buddy buddy with him and asking if we can go hang out and whatnot, so this is only recent.

>>16520677
You say your confident but your insecure. How you stop being a little bitch

Really seems like you set a trap for yourself. You didn't catch her cheating, or even doing anything wrong. She just said something that hurt you, that you only found by invading her privacy. Confronting her won't go your way. Maybe try working on yourself since she was just talking about body type. She didn't say anything about having feelings for him.

>>16520684
Yea, I realized that. The thing is I already brought up that I'm pissed off, because she could've just straight up told me, but she didn't, and now I don't know how to start this conversation without saying "I looked through your phone"
I spend a lot of time with my brother so something like this needs to be talked about.

I'm just hoping it's some kinda crush that'll pass.

>>16520677
Don't let her say you shouldn't be reading her messages, because that's what she'll say.
If my boyfriend did this I'd be fuming, you actually seem to be taking it quite well.

>>16520699
Found out this morning at 1-ish, couldn't sleep so I've had some time to cool down, have a few cigarettes and think about it.
I'm not as mad as I was because I realized it's just some kinda physical attraction, y'know?

>>16520709
Just disregard it. You'v got a good thing going, don't mess it up. Only act on what happened if it actually had happened.

Your shadow boxing with yourself and there are bystanders that might get hit.

>>16520693
>she could've just straight up told me

Could she? "Btw, I'm attracted to your brother?" How well would that go down between you?

She might be hoping it's a crush that'll pass too, and not want to cause shit between you. If she downright wants to leave you for him, there's not a whole lot you can do, you can do nothing, you can let her go, you can go to /fit/, or you can lock her up. Only 3 of those are sensible.

>>16520699
Does she have any sisters? You know what to do.

>>16520717
All I want to know is if this something that will go away after a while or if I need to take action.

I trust my brother would never do anything, and I trust she wouldn't act on it, but she's become more buddy buddy with him, wanting us to chill with him, posting a dumb video on his wall on Facebook, etc. and it makes me think there's some ulterior motive here.

>>16520717
I don't agree with this. If it bothers you (which it clearly does) then you need to speak to her about it. Don't try and ignore it because you're scared of her reaction. You aren't the one saying you prefer her family members body!

If she only thought it in her head, that's one thing. But she told her friend. That's a whole different thing.

>>16520723
She kept pressing on us three hanging out the day after thanksgiving and I just kinda said, "Christ you have a crush on my brother or something?" And she replied "Pfft that's funny." Or something like that.

And him and her, even if we were to break up, would never fucking happen, because A. My brother's not attracted to her, she's been in the family so long he sees her as a sister, B. I'm my brother's best friend, if something was up, he'd tell me in a second, and C. A girl going from one brother to the other? My family would fucking turn on her like rabid dogs. We've been together 6 and a half years, she would go insane if that happened.

>>16520753
From the way you're putting it, it does sound like she's being quiet because of the implications you just listed.

Obviously you're going to be massively biased in helping your own negativity, everyone is, so this might not be what's actually going on.

Telling her you looked through her phone and found that out typically results in an argument about you going through her phone. Can you not ask her how she feels about your brother without mentioning it or even hinting to it?

>>16520765
I already fucked myself by storming out this morning before work and telling her we need to talk after we get off.
So I can't exactly come home, act like everything is ok, and casually ask her.

And now I can't bring it up without admitting I looked through her phone. I'm honestly thinking of just starting off by saying, "Yea, I'm sorry I looked through your phone, I'm an insecure piece of shit." just matter of factly like that.

>>16520801
Guess this is what you may have to do, she'll try and make out you're the bad guy, which you are, for going through her phone, but keep steering it towards the important topic of her and your brother.

Related question.
I want to look through my GFs phone too but I would need a bit more time than a few minutes.
I know that she went through my phone which I am okay with (she doesn't know I know).

How could I do it so that I have a bit more time with it?

>>16520662
it's time to break up with your girlfriend OP, you don't trust her, and you crossed a line. It's really that simple.

>>16520839
Change your phone passcode out of the blue, don't ever let her know, if she's interested in yours, she'll eventually ask in one way or another for access, than thats when you ask for hers, "purely out of curiosity", if she's not happy, ask her why, ask her why she wants access to your phone but you can't hers.

>>16520848
she already offered it to me if I want .. But I want to do it in secret

is your brother taller? why don't you become fatter and bulkier like him?

>>16520662
your girlfriend sees your brother of higher status and value. the only way to change that is to get a better job and become more popular if you can. this is female hypergamy they want the best possible man they can get and their love for you is utility based.

>>16520878
I'm the taller one, but just by an inch or so.

>>16520876
Why? You want to be the righteous one? The good boy who does nothing wrong?

If she offered it to you, she has nothing to hide, unless it was a bluff. Probably not or she wouldn't offer, you'd have to ask.

You both have trust issues. Get over them or you'll soon be asking how to get over her.

>>16520839
Just tell her you want to look at her phone out of the blue and read it there and then.
Don't pre warn.

>>16520897
doing out of the blue would certainly not seem like it's out of the blue. You wouldn't intently look through someone's private communications without a valid reason. If the dude can make it look like he simply accepted the opportunity that was available at the time his obvious defense would be "you offered, i didn't ask"

>>16520662
>>16520677
Send a text to one of your friends that say
"I wish [gf] had [gf's sisters] body. If she dosnt have a hotter sister say a girl who your gf hates.