I've never had a relationship. Otherwise I've had a satisfactory life.
But knowing that I mean literally nothing hurts. I've been depressed for 15 years, and nobody likes depressed people. But nobody liking me makes me depressed. So I guess I'm stuck this as long as I chose to live
Anyways I've chosen Friday as the day I'm killing myself. What should I do with my last ~36 hours?
Donate blood and a kidney.
Save someone else's life before throwing yours away.
>>16453256
How would I set that up in like 30 hours
>>16453389
Fill out the organ donor card, don't throw yourself under a train.
Also, don't kill yourself anon, things will work out if you want them to.
You don't need a reason to love yourself, just do it, be selfish for once.
Might as well go for broke at that point, then.
Download Tinder and talk to all your matches. Ask someone on a date IRL every day between now and Friday. Then you can at least sorta say you tried.
>>16453210
>i had a satisfactory life
>but because ive never had a relationship that means i am NOTHING cuz all of my value comes from romance
what? dude, get over it.
>but no one liking me makes me depressed
no it doesn't. you want to be sad, having a relationship would just be drama all the time and you'd feel like it was the most tragic romance ever.
>>16453694
oh, i'm already an organ donor
and it's not really a matter of loving myself i guess. it's just that if everyone finds me worthless, then for all intents and purposes i am worthless. and if i were to then love myself, that'd make me delusional as well.
i try to not knowingly indulge in delusions
>>16453802
i tried tinder once, never got a match
>>16453812
sounds like you know me ;)
so uh what should i do with these remaining ~26 hours?
>>16454280
Spend them right now and end it :)
Post pics of how you will end it, too!
>>16453210
Delay it by a year and see what change you can make in a year. See a therapist, start excersing, eat right, find something to push your negative thoughts into. You can lead a happy life OP isn't not an easy path but you can do it. As for your cycle self loathing is one of the most toxic things about depression you need to drop it before you can start making real positive change. I believe in you, goodluck OP.
you don't mean literally nothing. I was there. trust me, it gets better, then it gets worse, then you... idk something.
that means much less than you think
I'm in the same place as you OP. Honestly I think the only choice we have is to kill ourselves. These assholes tell us to improve ourselves and go to a therapist but we're too far gone for most therapists to understand how to help us. I've gone to therapy and have done nearly every kind of drug for the past 8 years, it has never worked. I respect your decision OP, there is no hope for us we will never find true happiness.
>>16453210
I know how you feel anon, I honestly have been like that lately too. But know why I haven't an heroed? Because of this cat. This cat literally has kept me from an heroing.
Please don't do it anon. I know it sucks when people plead with you (again i know how it is), but I don't want you to kill yourself. You're my friend. Just like the rest of 4chan. We have our differences. But we are all friends. :)
I'am a young 19yr old man and I can relate to you allot anon It all seems hard and even impossible at times
but its always getting better it doesn't matter who you are it always does and I've been learning allot about life lately and how to feel better with my own the best way to do it is to take steps at a time trying to expand your comfort zone and one thing I can pick up on is that happiness is not found in life until it is created
allot of people suffer from depression all over the world some worse than others but that does not mean there's only a single way out I hope you can get back to feeling good about yourself anon like I have been struggling to do for years it is a progressing on-going struggle that only gets better
much love from one anon to another
>>16453210
smoke crack
>>16454611
Sounds exactly ike my thoughts, some years ago. 6 years of therapy, psychiatry and drugs, and I never felt better. Tried to kill myself more than once. Until January 2013, when I finally decided to change everything. I started by going for a walk every morning (had multiple axiety attacks in the first few weeks because of that, but I continued), I called some old friends that I had abandoned due to my depression, I tried to eat healthier. And for the first time, I felt better. Not good yet, since every day was a constant fight with myself, but it got better every day. And after some month, I was finally able to say that I'm truly happy.
Well, since I'm bipolar I'm still getting depressed episodes every now and then, and I know I'll always get them, but they'll never be as awful as those past years. Right now I'm in a depressed episode, waiting every day for a call from a psychiatry, but life still means so much to me now. Even though I'm depressed and having anxiety attacks, I love to be alive. And honestly, you can get to that point too, if you really want.
>>16453210
Just don't even fucking do it OP. And don't attempt to do it. There are many ways to combat depression and are not hard to access. Do shit outside the box and try things you're afraid of. And don't say that you'll never meet people because you're depressed, that's not true. When you take a step and then proceed, progress will be made. Let the wonderful things in life shed light on you as you begin to realize that many more joys are waiting for you. You have control.
>>16453210
before killing yourself, I know you must be at least somewhat curious and since you have nothing to loose if you would really kill yourself: try heroin
>>16454702
could try that as well, but it's less of a big thing.
either you've experienced the bliss and can more peacefully kill yourself or you decide to stick around and enjoy it a few more times before killing yourself, who knows. You could contriboot to the world by writing a trip report!
16 hours left
>>16455063
where would i get heroin in 16 hours?
>>16454916
who said i didn't try to combat depression, i tried really hard
>>16454590
some people don't have value. i am one of them
Kill yourself macfag
don't kill yourself find a goal you re passionate about and pursue it. people will come around and if they don't fuck them! get another job meet new people. quit jacking off go lift weights and your confidence will sky rocket.
and i know this might sound kinda sad but the people here may give each other shit 24/7 but we more or less have each others back so at least you got us!
>>16453210
OP relationships are shit. They are ripe with fucking drama and heartache, you will probably get cheated on or something. The anxiety and emotional trauma is not something to look forward too. I have known far too many people who go from being fairly "normal" (not flawless, just normal and simple to be around) to being totally different just because of a guy or girl they were dating, or dated in the past. It consumes their lives and seems to define who they are, to the point that every conversation ends up going back to whatever idiot they last fucked and chucked. Hell I used to be one of those people.
I say this because I have been right where you are, right exactly in your shoes. Your life means so much more than who you sleep with or who "loves" you. Most relationships are formed around attraction, which is based mainly around physical appearances and subtle dispositions. The people you see together probably don't know each other very well, they probably just enjoy each others' physical presence and such. This is why you see people loosely attached to each other; there's an obvious sexual chemistry, but long term compatibility and emotional connection is not always there. And just because somebody wants to fuck somebody else, doesn't mean that person is perfect and has everything going for them. It has no bearing on your entire value as a human being whether or not somebody wants to fuck you. As nice as it is to feel sexually desired, it's not the end-all be-all.
>>16455539
Like the other guy said you can donate organs, or do volunteer or charity work, or anything that helps other people. Just be an actual nice guy, work hard and add real value to others' lives. Alternatively, if you want to actually hack the dating game and get relationships/sex, there's a ton of information out there on how to become sexually attractive. As I said, people do not screen you on your entire value when deciding whether they want to rub crotches, they only look for that sexual chemistry and that "spark" and the rest typically comes later. So it shouldn't sting as much when you realize that sexual rejection is never personal.
Continue to develop yourself and look for ways to be a better person for you, and for others, and that envelopes so much more than being in a relationship.
>>16455310
As this is your only life and you have already given up, you should go nuts and do whatever you feel like. Go kill or rape someone, use drugs, do whatever you want. Don't you realize how free you are?
Honestly, if you're not helping or harming anyone, you're just a nothing, it doesn't make any difference whether you kill yourself or not.
So, go nuts and harm people. Or help people and be a good human being. Or just kill yourself without complaining.
>>16453879
Lower your standards.
>>16453210
we need you in europe for the upcoming race war.
start running and get fit, then board a plane. next summer is going to be hot.
>>16456128
I always see you eurofags on /int/ talking about the "racewar" and how you're going to kick the thrash out, but i see nothing being done and shit is only getting worse for you
How can you kill yourself over having had no gf wtf. Stop being a drama queen please, even the shittiest people get a so at one point in their lives, it'll eventually happen. If you really consider killing yourself over this then your life is obviously not satisfactory at all and I'd advice you to see a psychiatrist instead.
5 hours left
>>16456269
i misspoke, i guess it was satisfactory until a few years ago when tfwnogf hit hard
>>16455641
i'd take anybody
>>16455527
i've been lifting for a while already
>>16455503
yup 5 hours
>>16456973
got a name we can looks for tomorrow?
How old OP? I mean I'm in my early 30's and never had a relationship. It's not a life breaker.
>>16453210
Suck my dick
I was sexually abused by my brother and now I can't stay in a goddamn relationship bc anytime I get touched in a friendly or romantic manner I lose my living shit and break down .
So even when someone wants to be there , I can't let them and if we're tryna have a " who has it worse " contest , it sure as well isn't you .
Fuck, I even know there's worse off than me , but I'm not gonna end the only time I have to live bc I'm butthurt
y u no anhero.
inb4 whitenight faggot
>>16457173
just look for suicides in the idaho state journal. odds are low it will make it into the paper but if it does, it'd be there
>>16457321
25
>>16457377
1.5 hours, patience
Please don't kill yourself anon. Please
>>16457411
I don't like losing friends, and you're my friend. Don't do it
>>16457411
Go skydiving, you obviously won't be able to kill yourself that way, but it might give you some ideas about life and death. Or just a really awesome rush before what I image will be a mopey suicide.
I feel ya OP, seems like there's only a handful of things about being an adult that are enjoyable with a relationship being the main prize
I think I'm gunna keep trying a little longer but better luck to you on the other side
>>16457411
Goddamn guy, 25 is nothing.
Guy in my board game club (skinnyfat, awkward, you know, the type that goes to board game clubs), age 27, never had a girlfriend, out of the blue asked out one of the girls there. Three years later they're still together. It happens.
Girls ARE NOT worth an hero over.
OP, watch this video. It might give you hope.
http://youtu.be/QAD0BtEv6-Q
are you still alive?
I also never had a girlfriend but I will not kill myself because of something so trivial like this!
Or do you have another reason for trying to kill yourself?
Rip in kill oppo, you magnificent bastard
>>16453210
Get an erotic massage, it will make you feel better. Then ask someone out on a date.
Um, Op?
is OP gone?
>>16453210
Dude, im going to a funeral on friday, for my cousin, who killed himself by jumping from a mast.
It's so fucking unsecessary, all this crap.
>>16459238
I think OP is kill.. Look >>16457411
>>16453210
Fuck me OP, you can't do this to us.
This is just like /adv/, we all are together but we hate our fucking lives, if one of us kills ourselves it's looking like a viable option for the rest of us.
We have to get though this OP, I hate my life more and more every day and yes I've come close to Elliot Rodgering or anheroing it.
That why if you're still here OP, fucking reply to us. We're here for you, it's just what we came here for.
~Anon
OP did say he was 25. Could be him:
http://www.idahostatejournal.com/news/two-killed-in-friday-fort-hall-accident/article_f3c5f3e9-6ab3-5213-a525-22e86ba7dc2f.html
>>16459345
Strange.. OP said he was going to off himself at midnight. But that report mentions a 31 year old female. Yet OP said he didn't know any females.
>>16459392
Maybe he was the guy in the other car; the one who didn't die. I'd hate to be him when he wakes up.
>>16459452
thats possible. Hopefully, if it is we'll see a post in the next week or something.
Huh, OP actually killed himself
>>16459870
I'm sad, between losing a fellow anon, and then the terrorists in France. Today has been a depressing day.
