I come here to you guys because you anons are always hear for me and have always helped me overcome problems every single time.
Im really Considering Suicide the way things are going right now in my life.
I didnt get the girl, i didnt get the job, and im fucking up in a math class IN COLLEGE.
Im 19 years old, a beta shut in loner male.
I know there is much to live for, but i'd rather die now than dissapoint my mother. I am failing my math class and there is no way i can pass it at this point. Im an engineering major and ill probably be in college another 2 years.
So im going to be in college for a total of 4 fucking yearsm just to become an engineer, most of my family has passed it in 2 years. Im just taking up resources and time. The only reason im not homeless right now is because my dad decides to keep my worthless ass and pay for the home rent.
I havent been able to keep a job for more than 5 months, i feel like a useless tool. of the 3 jobs i've had all have not liked my performance. I feel useless and disgusted with myself that im this worthless
and finally the qt. 3.14 gril that i like in one of my classes finds me creepy and doesnt even like me back.
Im ready to die than take up any one's time or resources anmore. I'm really thinking of doing it to save my mom future dissapointment, she birthed me and wants be to become something great.
but college isnt working for me, and i cant keep a job because im literally an autistic retard. I just freeze up wiht things begin to get difficult.
Its true what they say life is survival of the fittest, i couldnt adapt and here i am considering suicide.
What should i do /adv/ help me more than ever....
shouldi just say in college another 2 years and suck it up? i feel like such a fuck up
I was you. Beta and alpha males is actually a lie there's no such thing. You're in a coma and you need to wake up we love you. Suicide won't even set you free from what is enslaving you. It's time to find Christ my friend.
Survival of the fittest.
>>16450561
I'm kind of in a similar situation OP, although I did fail math and I am an engineering major.
I know that I can do better it's just I'm so damn lazy to get to study and stuff and its bothering me. But suicide isn't the answer, what you need is to take a step back and strategize.
>>16450561
In all honesty OP you need to calm down a bit. From one math class failing (former) engineer to another I can assure you that you can rebound from this. Depending on your current gpa/total credit hours whatever grade you get (D or F) may not hurt you that bad, but of course its worth noting that you need to strive for a D at this point for good damage control. Tell your parents that you arent doing to well in the math class and that you will probably fail it, but what you need to do before that is to think about whether you want to be an engineer or not.If this math class is kicking your ass I hate to tell you, but the math will only get more intensive, and in your specific situation worse.
I used to be an engineering major, and had the same issue. I did some heavy reevaluation on what I wanted to do with my life, and ended up deciding geology was my passion, and I never looked back. I suggest you do the same, and if you find engineering is still your passion then I recommend you be weary about the intensive math farther down the road, as well as taking some of the basic math classes at your local community college in the summer so you can focus better on them. Your parents should understand if you tell them you want to change your major, but if your mom and dad are hardasses then I would recommend trying to change into something thats close to what you are doing already, so that the classes transfer over and you dont lose too much money.
As far as grills go I recommend you do some more self evaluation and make a list of things that you WANT to change about yourself. (dont do it because it will help you get chicks, do it because you want to be a better person). Make a plan on how you will change these things, and then take it one goal at a time, eventually you will have the confidence in yourself, and the changes you have made to speak to girls confidently and without fear of rejection. More in the next post...
>>16450561
>i'd rather die now than dissapoint my mother
So you're going to kill yourself? C'm on, son.
>>16450774
I might want to add that even after all of the changes you go through you wont get 100% of the girls you want, but at the very least you will be able to shrug off rejections way better than you currently are.
As far as jobs go OP you sound like you are working jobs that you hate, and thus are under preforming in. I would suggest that you either try to find a job you dont mind doing, or give yourself a stark reality check/kick in the ass and come to terms with the fact that nobody likes to fucking work, but we do it because we need money, and the best way to keep getting money is not slack off and under preform at our jobs so that we dont get fired. The next job you get make yourself a promise that you will stay there for an X amount of time. (for your situation I personally suggest 6 months, but you know yourself better than I do.) in the timespan of you working for that allotted time you should still be working on the list of changes to yourself you want to make, and hopefully your outlook over that time period will change for the better as well. IF by the end of the time period at your job you still feel useless and autistic, then ready yourself up again and set ANOTHER goal, and repeat the previous process.
GPA wise you arent fucked. Depending on your universities policy you can retake the class later to replace the grade, or average it out so it dosent hit you as hard. That and you have tons of other classes to take before you graduate that will allow you to slowly raise it if you do well in them. If you are going to be in for four years its fine, dont sweat it. Fuck how fast your family did it, the only thing that matters is that you finish in a respectable time, and four years is exactly that. If you cant live with yourself taking a normal amount of time to graduate from college, then I suggest you sit down and look at the situation for what it really is. You probably wont make it out in two, but like I said before, four isint bad.
>>16450812
>>16450812
damn it anon, thank you. u have no idea how much these posts mean to me. I am in a weak state right now and you helped me a bit. Im sitll going to keep my major as engineering and ill suck it up. Could be 2-3 years in college before transfer. I am also dropping my math class and will start over. but now i have restored faith in my abilities
>>16450850
Glad to hear OP. Happy to hear the math wont bomb you, and I wish you all the luck in the world my friend. Godspeed
>>16450561
Believe it or not, you are not unique, and there is help awaiting you nearby.
What you describe is so common as to be almost epidemic among college students. Almost everyone at some time, and some people all the time, feel swamped and out of their depth.
The one silver lining is that your uni health service and counseling center has a LOT of experience dealing with these feelings, and can help you cope or make decisions. Go to them.
>>16450561
I mean what I say in the nicest way possible:
Stop being such a mardy (that's middle England for miserable) little shit. You will never change your outlook on life if you are always so negative about it, no matter what anyone here says.
No one goes through life without stumbling blocks. The most successful people have had to overcome more than most, and your situation is not unique.
Decide that you'll stop looking for excuses as to why everything is bad and you can't change it. Quit quitting on self improvement.
As we Brits say; Keep calm and carry on.
