>Had a huge crush on a girl I met from tinder.
>we hung out 3 times on what seemed like dates (cutesy stuff like apple picking followed by out for dinner, not just 'chilling').
>she texted me every day all the time.
>she suddenly started talking less, I figured she was talking to someone else now.
>told me about 3 weeks ago she has a bf now, someone she liked a lot in highschool. I was crushed.
>though it might be an aspie thing to do, I told her I had feelings for her because i wanted to get it off my chest and it was bothering me, she said she had no idea I liked her and she's sorry.
>i stopped talking to her for awhile.
>I'm finally about over her, she hits me up saying she misses me and wants me to 'be her friend again'.
>asks what I'm doing tomorrow, I'm free but said I'm busy because I don't want feelings to come back if I see her, she said damn because she's off.
>she asks when am I off next, I told her Friday, she says she is too and let's hang out then, I reluctantly said okay.
I miss her a lot and do want to see her again, but I don't want to be that guy who's stuck in the friend zone getting keked. At the same time, I don't want to be that beta douche who can't simply be friends with a girl unless sex is involved. I'm not sure if I can be just friends with her though. What should I do? And why would she be so adamant about seeing me again on her off days when she has a bf now she could be hanging out with?
She wants a friend.
It's nothing more.
You have guy friends you're not into, right?
If she still has a bf and you still got feelings or think they may come back, just don't bother
>>16448743
She has a bunch of friends though, why me?
>>16448712
she's probably just using you to get attention from her boyfriend or she's just straight up attention seeking, imo best case you hook up and have sex a few times. why you want to waste time and energy on a girl like this, you already blew it with.
>>16448712
Do you want to be her friend? It is possible that she does like you (as a friend) but for whatever reason wasn't attracted to you. If you are ok with being just her friend, then go ahead and hang out with her and see what it is like. If you get the impression that she has an ulterior motive, for example wants to keep you on the sidelines in case things don't work out with her boyfriend, then don't hang out again.
However, if you think you won't ever get over the feelings of wanting to be more than friends, and you'll constantly be trying to leverage friendship into more, then tell her that and don't see her again. I don't think you originally telling her you had feelings was aspie at all. Being honest from the start is so much better than pining away. I don't really believe her that she had no idea you liked her, but only you know!
tl;dr keep being honest with her about your feelings and be friends if you feel like it
>meet on tinder
>go out on multiple date-ish outings
>"oh I didn't know you had intentions of wanting to go out with me I had no idea"
what a dumbass. really? she got to be lying or stupid
turn the tables, op
find someone else, then friendzone HER
>>16448756
Because maybe she likes you more than them.
I know what you're feeling. Deep down you hope she's keeping you as some kind of back up bf. But even if that is true that's also a shitty situation.
You can try telling her how it is. "I have feelings for you and being friends would suck."
Maybe given time you can get over her and then be friends.
If you would want that.
>getting friendzoned on tinder
dude just build a trebuchet instead
>>16448798
>Deep down you hope she's keeping you as some kind of back up bf
Being back up bf sucks ass, because that means she'll cut any contact as soon as she found someone who she likes more than you.
>>16448712
I'd say no.
I see where you are coming from where you don't want to be the asshole guy who only wants pussy, but this was started on tinder- she isn't exactly a sex object, but you started talking to her in the hopes of a more romantic relationship. If she's not down, then you shouldn't be either.
>>16448712
Go with it.
If a girl wants to hang out with you then by all means hang out with her.
>>16448954
Why? So she can rub her relationship in my face while I rub it out to her every night just trying to get her out of my system again?
>>16448712
this
>>16448785
definetly trying to sound like she didn't just reject you cause some better dude came along
>>16448756
she wants your D
Either it didn't work out with the other guy, then it's up to you to decide if you want to be second choice.
Or she still has him and you're just her pet boy for attention.
