Is it possible to completely turn a bad life around in a couple of weeks by taking huge steps, chances, doing the opposite of what you'd usually do, and so on?
I want to try.
Any general advice on how to do it?
Have you done something similar ever?
I turn 27 in a couple weeks.
-I have a huge amount of student debt, and no degree, no concrete plans to go back, but I wish I could.
-I've never had a girl friend, but want one
-I have diagnosed social anxiety/anxiety/major depressive disorder, and I hate it
-I live with my parents, and I wish I didn't
-I have no cool job, and that makes me sad.
I want the opposite of all these asap.
meditate every morning, 4 real
not some magic cure all zulu voodoo shit but ull genuinely see ur outlook and life turn around for the better if u stick to it
>>16441779
okay list of things I will add to me life:
-meditate each morning
(How long do you suggest, just following my breath/sitting in awareness of my emotions without judgement/zen style?)
>>16441787
It's best to test the waters and see what works best for you, theres a whole deep world of meditation to dive into.
There are plenty of "meditation for beginners" guides on the internet and most of them nail it, google is your friend. 5-10mins is all u need at first until you're comfortable sitting for longer. Google is your friend
Just dont expect it to be easy, thats what stops a lot of people from persisting - its a skill, it requires effort and practise. But the pay-off is immeasurable x
A few weeks is enough time to lay the groundwork for a major transformation, which is mostly a matter of developing better habits. But completely turning your life around is going to take more time than that. Most people who reinvent themselves take as least six months or so, and many take lomger.
But a few weeks is enough time to make a noticeable difference. Like I said, it's largely a matter of breaking old habits and establishing better ones. I recommend a tool like Habtica (a sort of gamified habit tracker) for this, especially if you are already a gamer: make your addiction work FOR you, rather than against you.
I'm not sure about your situation specifically but the turning your life around thing yeah.
I used to be a NEET and drug addict, went to detox then a halfway house and was on my feet and being productive with a job and a start back in my education in a couple weeks, now shit's all gravy in this department (15 months later)
>>16441796
>>16441800
current list:
-meditate 5-10min, learn from google tutorial
-try habitica (at least reassess my habits)
thanks so far guys, this is going good
>>16441808
I recommend exercising a bit every day if you aren't already. It can start as something as simple as a brief jog around the block or maybe some calisthenics at home (although the point is to get you out of the house). Regular exercise has a multitude of benefits, both physical and psychological.
>>16441806
cool, good to know the turn around for other ppl on this kinda thing
current list:
-exercise every day
-meditate 5-10min in the morning, learn from google tutorial
-try habitica (at least reassess my habits)
>>16441821
just like a basic 10 min jog, or maybe pushups jumpingjacks in my kitchen or something? do you guys find there is a best time of day to do this?
>>16441837
you gotta start somewhere. I'm not aware of your current fitness level but just do more than you're doing right now. Jogging and calisthenics is easy because it requires no equipment or access to a gym. There's really no "best time" to do it; I work 8-5 and I just fit it in whenever I have a chance. As long as you're doing it consistently a few times a week at least, you'll be good.
Drink more water, too.
Make for yourself a circular piece of paper about the size of a half dollar and write THANKFULNESS on one side and FORGIVENESS on the other. Roll it over and over in your hand (body), and in your mind (intellect) and in your soul (emotions), until you have awareness in all three aspects of your being. And then put it away in your wallet (or purse). You will forget about it. But when you remember it, bring it out and give it away. Do this often in remembrance of the Good you have received. Continually let the bad things go. Become what remains.
A complete overhaul of poor life habits in a short amount of time? Sounds like someone's looking to fail early and go back to their old ways.
Real talk though, start lifting heavy shit three or four times a week, work on your eating habits and personal hygiene that are likely crap, then I'd get off your ass and figure out the whole failed college thing since you're never getting a cool job without a degree, serious connections, or years of relevant work experience.
Good luck, have fun. Take small steps when you realize large ones are overwhelming.
look at it this way, nothing will change if you dont try something.
for me it was joining the gym. I was 220lbs, got to 140lbs, thought it was too skinny and started bulking, at 155 now.
feel better, look better. all because of one decision to start being more active. you can do it too.
>>16442127
i'll try it
>>16442146
I dont know how to explain it exactly, but small steps often seem more difficult to me. it takes so much more time to build anything up that it feels like a waste of time when you start so far at the bottom. for example the guy above who said he was neet/drug addict sounds like he took the big steps of detox and halfway house, and that got him on his feet. From the list I'm making, I think a mix of small steps at the same time as some big steps is best.
current list:
-exercise every day
-meditate 5-10min in the morning, learn from google tutorial
-try habitica (at least reassess my habits)
-figure out university
-circle thing
Hey OP. Try reading; an enlightened outlook just makes you feel more positive in general. Start with Siddhartha (Hesse) for some zen feels, then The Stranger (Camus) and The Metamoorphosis (Kafka) to get a deeper understanding of sadness and alienation. Know your enemy
>>16441770
weeks? no. months? yes. a full year? most likely. and even then you only feel like you streamlinedi t.
>i want the opposite of all these asap
this is your biggest issue. there is no asap. everything worth having is something you have to fight for. theres a lot of anguish on the way to getting things you want.
here is my recommendation: make a list of everything you want to do, big and small, and then organize them into a monthly list.
here is an example
>november: eating healthy
>december: working out
>january: job hunt
>february: new hobby / education
>march: quitting a vice
and you keep going. you take one month for every task because it takes about one month to make something a permanent part of your routine. if you tried to do it all at once you'd be struggling to fit everything into one day.
each month should have one major change, and several little ones.
dont make a month something like 'find a girlfriend' or 'get a job'. instead it should be improvements that make you more desirable to women, or trying new social activities where you might meet one.
for the job it should be applying for jobs. its okay if you dont get it within the month, but making the job hunt the big part of your daily routine is key.
>>16442212
>>16442357 here. Great thread. Make sure that all the points on your list are very concrete. I usually make it the first thing on the list to go through it and flesh out and break down vague items.
>figure out university
this looks like a type of item that I used to write down and I'd NEVER do it because it doesn't really mean anything. What are you going to figure out? Sure it's in you head you say, but it's still poorly defined. It becomes a big vague unbeatable step. Now I know you said you like big steps, but it doesn't seem to have been working out very well for you so far has it?
Do you truly desire to take a large step?
Start with your parents. Forgive your father and your mother from your heart. Thank your parents for your life. In so doing, you will honor them. May your days be prolonged and may it go well with you.
>>16441800
Does habitica really help? Isn't it just another potential distraction?
Here are two of my favourite books, I really never read anythig until my 20th birthday, but these books gave me a never known perspective of live and tought me the joy of reading!
- Eckart Tolle: The power of NOW
- Dropping Ashes on the Buddha: The Teachings of Zen Master Seung Sahn
Those books are really good to start with because they don't seem like esoteric or religious stuff, but you soon get the meaning of all that stuff...
As well you should check out The Miracle of Methaphysical Healing by Evelyn Monahan, I heard only good things about that book by I have to admit that I have only read the first few pages by now. There is a free ebook version here:
http://de.scribd.com/doc/199043750/Evelyn-M-Monahan-The-Miracle-of-Metaphysical-Healing#scribd
If you don't have it by now quit spending a lot of time in front of PC or Television, start going outside more.
I think a lot of people would recommend you PUA stuff cause of your girl problem, but I would say read the books I said first to get self confidnet and happy again. This should help you making conversation with strangers. If you still got problems with girls after that, check out the basic PUA stuff, but don't believe every shit they tell you and please don't buy any of those stuff they are trying to sell you.
Make your changes step by step. You won't be able to work on all of your problems at one time.
Oh, and if anyone has Ideas on how you can improve your learning skills, how to focus better in lectures and how to organize all this university stuff without getting stressed out as shit, please tell. I really suck at this and I would need that help as soon as possible!
>>16441770
-Get your shit together, stop telling yourself "I can't do it."
-Get a hobby including precision and patience; Modelling is perfect for that. It will make you focus on something small that will require attention and time, and you'll feel proud after you complete something nice, that will act as a personnal trophy. Plus, it's very relaxing.
-STOP. MASRURBATING.
-Don't think about looking for a GF at all times. When you'll improve yourself and will actually be happy, you'll find one without even trying. It may take some time, but it'll work.
-Smile, even if you don't feel like it. Not 24/6, Just random smiles, when hearing a music you like, eating something tasty, and the like. Show when you're happy, even if it's because of meaningless, small things. On the long run, you'll learn to enjoy little things, and people WILL like you, your smile and your happiness.
>>16442634
Why stop masturbating. That sounds stupid.
>>16442770
It's not.
Think about it for a moment. If you keep your balls empty at all times, you'll feel sexually satisfied, and won't ever feel the urge to get someone to empty them for you.
It will prevent you to some extent from getting the will to improve physically, intellectually, and/or professionnally.
Those domains are what drasticly improves your natural odds of attracting females, feeling good about yourself, and be happy without getting you to play a role or getting out of your comfort zone.
It's mostly a subconscious trick, but I can guarantee it works.
Try it, and I'll guarantee you'll get a shitload of motivation to make things right. All it takes is a bit of discipline.
>>16442813
It's all good as long as I don't do it in the morning I find.
>>16442819
It's all about mid/long term results. No matter when you masturbate, if you do it, you'll feel pleasure from it, and your brain won't make the difference between cumming in your hand or in a pussy.
By creating the lack of sexual satisfaction, it will also create a very powerful drive that will lead you into improving in various useful and important domains, to get you fine pussy.
That drive is engraved in your very DNA, and in pretty much everything that has a brain, as it uses the need for reproduction to help you find the will and motivation to improve your general situation.
>>16442859
But then I'll start cumming in my sleep. Probably like after a week or so.
>>16442859
You'll just start having wet dreams.
If anything, you should stop using porn when you masturbate.
>>16442915
Wet dreams do nothing for a virgin like me.
(nor OP btw)
this has become a discussion about no fapping...
Could we please get back to the topic again???
>>16443058
I recently got one of those therapy sun light lamps (a professional one), and it really boosts my energy for the day. It also seem to be helpfull in resetting my sleepcycle!
I like the apps happitz and c25k. Good luck anon!
>>16442380
current list:
-exercise every day
-meditate 5-10min in the morning, learn from google tutorial
-use habitica to keep track/to do lists
-figure out university
-circle thing
-reading more often
-break down lists into more doable parts
-less time on computer/tv, more time outside
-get a hobby with precision/patience
-smile
-masturbate less/not at all
>>16443098
have always considered getting one of these lights. I live in canada and winter gets dark. is it the kind of thing you got through a doctor?
>>16442521
after setting it up, it feels a lot to me like another 'to do list' and I could set something like that up on paper. But it seems a nice way to organize things by Daily and just larger goals, plus I can put dates and I guess keep track of everything a bit better than archived journal lists. not sure if the gamification aspect will help me tho
Start listening to the Art of Charm podcast. They have tons of advice for people like you OP. You don't have to listen to their whole library, you can cherry pick what you need/want most.
>>16443270
Yes, i got it from my doc. Since you live in canada i suppose you could also get a eecioe for one since buying them is pretty expensive... I live in switzerland and the shorter days during winter always seemed to drag me down a bit. So far it helps a lot!
>>16443270
I don't know about those lamp things, but you should get f.lux (or redshift if you use linux) for your computer if you haven't already. It helps diminish the effect of computer screens after dark. Or better, just don't use the computer some hours after going to sleep.
