>>16438594

Did you love her when you got together?

Some explanations:

>to do anything "major"

Like having kids or getting married, which she wants.

> breaking up will be a major downgrade in my life in the medium term*

I meant: if we break up, I will end up being alone for a while and once the feeling of "being alone" wears off, I will start feeling horny and/or lonely and again start looking for someone. Eventually I will go through the same process of meeting/dating/fuckign as was with her but likely with a woman that is less pretty/hot/smart/interesting (she is pretty high on all those factors).

If she's such a perfect match for you, why do you feel nothing for her? And if you value prettiness/hotness/intelligence/interestingness over having feelings for her, why is this such a big deal?

>>16438600

not really...

we met 1 1/2 years ago and at the moment I was just getting out of another relationship, we got together really fast (Tinder) so there wasn't much time to clean everything (emotionally speaking) before she got it.


But a very important factor is this: I don't really feel like I can love ANYONE at this moment, not just her.

I imagine dating some super hot/super smart/super cool woman and even in my imagination it doesn't look so appealing.

I kind of miss the feelings I had for the woman before her (not the woman herself, but the feelings) but those, I suspect, were one-in-a-lifetime feelings and I have little hope of it happening again.

>>16438614
>If she's such a perfect match for you, why do you feel nothing for her?

I don't know, I have 2 hypotesis:

1. maybe she is not such a good match, I just keep telling myself this because I deep inside I don't want to break up.

2. because our relationship grew up too fast and I didn't have time to build up the proper feelings for her.

>And if you value prettiness/hotness/intelligence/interestingness over having feelings for her, why is this such a big deal?

Because of this:
>being with her and pretending there is some major feelings going on is slowly getting on my nerves and becoming a problem.

If you don't love a person you don't love them. It's as simple as that.

Find someone you can connect with on a spiritual level. Who cares if they're not as physically attractive.

If all men worried about "why bother if I can never get Marilyn Monroe" the human population would have died off.

Also there are at least 3.5 billion women on this planet, even though we say some people are unique, we actually aren't. There is at least one other person that looks like us, talks like use, feels like us.

>>16438618
So you're just autistic. Everything is telling you that you should just break up, but you're not going to because reasons.

>>16438616

Sounds like some alone time would do you good. It is not mandatory to be in a relationship, if you're not feeling like it. Break up and stay single for at least some time and if/when you start to feel lonely, then take another look at how you feel about a relationship. Time will most likely change how you feel about it and with some luck you might even come across someone who's worth the effort, which will definitely not happen if you hang onto your dead, loveless relationship for the sake of comfort. Besides, it's not fair towards her either to tag her along in a half-arsed relationship.

>>16438616
>I kind of miss the feelings I had for the woman before her (not the woman herself, but the feelings) but those, I suspect, were one-in-a-lifetime feelings and I have little hope of it happening again.
Those kinds of feelings don't happen just once. Your taste has changed and I think you need to cocoon mode and not look for girls. Heal yourself and find out what you really like.
There's nothing good about staying in a relationship with no attraction.

>>16438623
>but you're not going to because reasons.

I guess you didn't read the whole thread.

It is not "because reasons". She is a very good partner in almost every way.

It is actually dumping her that is "because reasons" since it involves a bunch of fuzzy feelings (well, the lack of them).

>>16438630
>Sounds like some alone time would do you good.

I agree 100% and I knew that when I met her. But once I realized the little "treasure" I had found, I decided to try to man up and see if I could skip the cocoon mode and go straight to a new relationship (I've done this before, actually)

Obviously didn't work as intended

> Besides, it's not fair towards her either to tag her along in a half-arsed relationship.

I agree with that, and it is another reason why I think about breaking up. She doesn't agree, though...

>>16438703
You said yourself that those "because reasons" are becoming a problem, too big to be balanced out by her being a perfect match. Your lack of fuzzy feelings is obviously ruining the relationship and your mental health, and yet you're trying to cling on to it because you can't distinguish between a non-issue and a serious issue.