If I want to break up with my gf, do I go to her place and chill and break up when I leave, or do I go there and do it immediately?
It's best to meet on neutral semi-public grounds. What I mean by the latter is that you're around other people, but with sufficient privacy to speak quietly. An example would be a bench a little bit off the walking path at a park.
You make plans to meet there and do it immediately. Then leave.
>go there
>tell her why
>discuss if you or her need to
>don't be a dick about it, just explain what needs to be explained
>leave
>>16436313
>do I go to her place and chill and break up when I leave
Do you not understand how fucked up that is?
>>16436313
meet her in a neutral location and discuss it immediately. that way, if she gets crazy, you will have witnesses
now suppose you are dating someone for a year and found someone better who's up for dating you
should you:
- break up right away
- break up after getting a date with someone else
- break up only after getting into a relationship with someone else
and under any of those, what line would you use?
- i'm too young and inexperienced, i need to meet/ go out with more people
- you should see someone else/ you deserve better
- i found someone else and need to break up with you because i'm not a "cheater"
- honestly i got bored and this isn't working
- something else?
>>16436339
You obviously don't cheat.
Also you don't tell the person you're leaving that they're being dropped for an upgrade.
Fuck, the fact that these things aren't obvious to you makes me want to pay for your psychological assessment myself.
>>16436340
i think i'm a sociopath but honestly just wondering about others' opinions.
mostly because even though it's pretty obvious, a lot of people still do just that, usually cheat and only break up if they end up in a relationship with somebody else, sometimes not even then
>>16436331
OP here. I still like her, I just need to do it and I keep putting it off.
The other question wasn't me btw. We've been dating for 3 or 4 months.
>>16436349
>I still like her, I just need to do it and I keep putting it off.
But do you not understand how just hanging out for a night, like nothing's about to happen, and then dropping that bomb on her is fucked up? That's a hell of a lot more hurtful than just getting to the point to get it over with. It makes it look like you don't give a shit about her feelings.
>>16436339
>>16436349
If you like her, be thankful for who you have and leave it at that. If you're going to break up with her, don't tell her it's because you found someone else. Tell her more along the lines of that the feelings just aren't there anymore.
Which if you're considering dating other women, is probably the truth. If you had strong feelings for her and still felt intimate towards her, you wouldn't be looking for a new relationship.
>>16436352
I don't want to hurt her! That's why I'm asking for advice. It's going to be a surprise either way. Should I do something to ease her into it?
>>16436360
Not the same poster m80. This is OP, and I really want to avoid cheating on her.
>>16436365
There is no way to ease into it. Yo utell her you need to talk with her. You meet up with her and then just tear it off, like a bandaid.
>>16436365
>Should I do something to ease her into it?
You're breaking up with her! You can't ease in to it, but you can make it hurt less by making it quick and getting to the point. When you draw shit out, and lead them to believe you still love and care about them, that's when they really get hurt.
>>16436339
Don't jump into a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship. If you're the type that's deluded into thinking that they need to be with a bunch of people to understand what they want, you're A) not going to be happy, B) not going to figure out what you want, and C) nothing will ever be good enough for you. Break up, stay single, and date casually. Because you will always find someone better. Allowing yourself to get in the cycle of constantly upgrading is detrimental to your future relationships.
>>16436340
>Fuck, the fact that these things aren't obvious to you makes me want to pay for your psychological assessment myself.
yfw this was OP's long game all along.
Just send her a text
"yo we thru btw" and then delete her on everything, drop her completely and then never respond to her again.
You'll be a hero to /r9k/. Really, they will literally do absolutely anything for you after that.
>>16436370
I did it. Thanks for walking me through it.
What do I do now?
>>16436674
Well what happened?
>>16436677
I went to her apartment and when she opened the door I hugged her for a long while because I was too sad to say anything. She cried a lot and asked questions, I cried too, she tried to get me to lie down and cuddle with her and that's when I left.
Now I'm home, feeling like shit and wondering if I did the right thing.
-DO NOT break up with you at her place, or her at your place. People have had the locks changed on their house by a jilted ex-girlfriend.
-DO break up with third party witnesses present, people who can tell the police that you did not put twelve huge bruises on her when you left. Otherwise, any accusations are your word against hers with your balls on the line.
-DO stay calm and focused the entire time. Have you ever seen a cat who knows how to howl with an emotional voice to strike humans' nerves? Expect that but on a higher level.
-DO NOT treat this as time to negotiate. Any deals you make will be viewed as one-sided concessions on your part. The other party will not keep up with their end of the deal because they already know they control you.
>>16436826
Late, but just saying because more folks than just OP read what people say.
>>16436826
Christ, that was negative. Our relationship wasn't pathological like that.
