How do you get a boyfriend if you hate sex?
Get a boyfriend that also hates sex, or at least doesn't care. They exist, they're just less common and don't go around flaunting it.
>>16425160
find a guy that has no interest in sex.
>>16425167
Where do I find one?
Looking for someone at the bar probably isn't a good idea.
Check some dating site for asexual people?
1. Can u ask why you hate sex ?
2. Youll have to search for that boyfriend on the internet its easy
>>16425196
I live in a place that is so sparsely lived that even dating sites for normal people don't have anything. And I refuse to leave the country because I need to take care of my family.
>>16425202
Because sex is nothing but unpleasant? It's boring at best and painful at worst and better when it's over quickly.
>>16425211
I respect the fact that you just don't seem to like sex and it's okay if it's not your cup of tea. But I think maybe you should give masturbating a try to make sure you don't like it just in case. It could be all of your experiences just weren't doing it for you because the way it was done wasn't best for you personally.
>>16425239
I have tried to masturbate for ten years with no hope. Penetration, clitoris stimulation, g-spot, u-spot, vibrator, it just does nothing. It just doesn't feel good, if and when it feels like anything at all.
>>16425171
I'm right here.
There are sadly tons of other factors you'll take into account which would disqualify me as your boyfriend.
So keep on looking.
I don't like sex due to childhood trauma.
I don't think you want to be with a guy like me as it also implies other underlying issues.
Also since I don't like sex, I don't date.
Why not just get a close male friend?
I'd be your close friend if you want OP.
All relationships are essentially contracts, so what you do is you make some sort of sacrifice in exchange for the absence of sex in the relationship.
I personally would very much consider taking a girlfriend I didn't have sex with - doing all the bf/gf stuff, etc - as long as (1) I liked her independently of sex, obviously, and (2) she let me pursue and fuck other women.
that's a pretty big sacrifice, but then so is no sex.
>>16425283
Because guys who go for the friend zone are too mentally unstable to be trusted. He WILL demand sex eventually.
>>16425239
Also try lube. Many women have problems with getting their vagina self lubricated. You said that you find sex unpleasant, so maybe thats the problem. (or your vaginal tract is sealed shut, and till now you tryed having sex through your urethra. That happens. But hell its very uncommon). If thats not the problem, i have another question. What do you want from a relationship? Is it only the connection, or do you also want to touch and kiss that other person in your life?
>>16425211
1. Ok so there is absolutely no condition under which sexual pkeasure can be gained in your case?? None?
2. And wud u be willing to move to another state?
>>16425292
Warmth, physical closure, affection, all that sort of stuff. I'm not a social person but I'm also cripplingly lonely.
So wait why do you hate sex but are play with physical intimacy? I've always viewed all of those things including sex as gradations on a sliding intimacy scale. Am I just weird for thinking like that?
>>16425298
1. I can masturbate but not to orgasm, and considering that it doesn't happen, the whole process is pointless and I've given up doing it.
2. My home country is smaller than many US states, and my mother needs me to help with my sister.
>>16425305
1.And you do become sexuslly aroused just fine right?
2. Have you considered online relationship to start?
>>16425321
1.So it not that you dnt get pleasure its that u csnt orgams?
2. Where are you from?
>>16425318
Have you ever seen a child lure an animal to be held with food on a bait, and then mangle the shit out of it once he catches it?
Cuddling is the bait. I know I'll have to pay dearly for it when I get cornered so I don't go for it.
Sex is the poison in the soup. I can't usually even cuddle a guy because I'll be focused on dreading the moment he'll start trying to go at it. I hate not being able to let my guard down but seriously I'd be an idiot to not expect it.
>>16425322
1. I can become lubricated, yes. That's why I said sex is boring at best. Best sex is sex where I'm lubricated and don't hurt.
2. Have you tried looking at pictures of food on the internet when you're hungry?
>>16425325
1. Enjoying work is one thing, getting paid is another.
2. Europe.
>>16425337
>Europe
Tell me more.
West, East or South?
>>16425337
Do you watch porn? Are you a virgin ?
And oh.... you shud consider the online relations/long distance thing to start you off
>>16425305
i am the one that asked the question, lets call me Ben, just for the purpose of the conversation, because you interrest me. So do you have any idea why you dont feel sexual stimulation pleasant down there? The two kinds of people i've met, that feel the way you do, are people who have been sexually abused or raped (most of them as children) or transgendered people.
I think it'd be possible to find an asexual guy. Rare but they exist. Good luck OP.
>>16425290
Not me, as I said no interest in sex, it's disgusting. I don't want to prod anyone.
>>16425160
I knew a girl who said she was asexual and hated sex. She was super up tightwad bitchy. She got a boyfriend and got laid now she's super chill and apparently loves sex. If you don't like sex it means your brain is literally broken and you need professional help not some fags on the Internet.
>>16425351
North.
>>16425353
I watch porn, though my fetishes tend to be shit that is so distanced from actual sex that they aren't any help.
I lost count of how many sexual partners I've had between six and seven. I got taken home by two guys and can't remember if the other one fucked me too.
I've been in multiple long distance online things, getting sad lonely men on the opposite side of the planet to fall in love with me is the only talent I have. Online relationships are literally worse than nothing.
>>16425354
I'm trying to keep the whole transgender nonsense under a lid because I don't want that bullshit in my life. I just don't see why anyone at all ever would want to be a woman.
>>16425387
So, Denmark?
Since you posted
>My home country is smaller than many US states
and Norway, Sweden and Finland are rather large.
Or I'm missing a country up there.
>>16425387
Ok xan i ask what your fetisges are
And idk what to tell you abt this bf thing you seem to be stuck... have you considered online dating a guy in a near by country or province ..... you can skype... have phone sex n when ur ready make a special date to met up if you live like 4 hours away?
>>16425332
Sounds like you have a deeper issue than just hating sex.
>>16425397
You mentioned it there.
>>16425398
I want physical closure. Cuddles. Going through the strain of being in a relationship and having to dread the demand for sex ANYWAY with nothing in return is just like paying rent for an apartment you don't live in.
>>16425406
I have bad experiences with penises and people who have them.
If you stand too close behind a horse, it will kick you.
If you stay too close to person with a penis, he will make you touch it.
>>16425387
why did you have sex with so many if you don't like it?
No snark, just curios.
please tell me that country is belgium
>>16425387
I dont have the perfect answer, well then again no one has. But you need to think about how important a relationship is to you. What you are willing to sacrifice for it. If you find a Man that really loves you for who you are, is he worth rewarding with pleasure? I mean, he will know that you dont like sex. And if he loves you the way you love him. (not very common also, i know) then you can find some sort of compromise, where he trys not to have sex with you, but you satisfy his needs (that he has) every now and then, by means other than your vagina (or even with your vagina) It all comes down to your love and understanding with each other. (Sorry i maybe to naive but thats what i think)
>>16425420
>>16425420
Not all guys are like that Love
>>16425160
Get a gay friend
>>16425424
Alcohol. I was still living with my mom, liked getting drunk and couldn't do that at home because my father was an alcoholic and apparently only alcoholics do that.
>>16425426
It isn't.
>>16425429
Most men can masturbate to orgasm. I can't.
If you know exactly where you are itching, why the fuck make someone else scratch it?
I know where my asshole is, and I don't make other people wipe it.
>>16425445
http://www.asexualitic.com/members/
you're welcome
Try to find a bf who's free to fuck whoever he want ?
Or be a kekquean ? I'm sure plenty of guy would appreciate a gf like that :)
>>16425445
You can try
thereapy, open relationship or just wait
You have been through some horrible shit. Alcohol sucks. No wonder when you get sober and realise what you did, that it repulses you
>>16425445
how old are you anyway?
>>16425463
It doesn't repulse me. That was my own fault for putting myself in harm's way, knowing there would be men there and going anyway. The urge to get drunk was still stronger than the urge to avoid getting fucked.
Basically I reasoned that the goal is to get so drunk that I don't care that I'll get fucked. Everyone wins.
Though I'm happy about living alone and having the luxury of getting drunk in the safety of my own room whenever I need it.
>>16425466
21, though most of the fucking happened at 18-19. I haven't had sex for a year now and I'm glad of it.
get a husbando
>>16425160
Well I don't really like sex either. 19 year old anon with destroyed sex drive here
I think if you have the attitude "I don't want to have sex ever because it's boring" you might struggle in your relationships. Not because you should want to have sex, but because it shows a complete disregard of the feelings of your partner and no willingness to try and please them.
There's no reason that intimacy and physical interaction shouldn't be on some level pleasurable with the person you love. If you're just selfish, immune to physical pleasure of any kind, and want someone that respects that then I guess you're going to have to find some kind of asexual dating website.
Most people will think you're just a bit of shitty person.
>>16425487
or maybe a pet
>>16425481
Tell us about your fetishes.
If sex won't happen, there is still the possiblity of fooling around in other ways.
>>16425487
That's equally as useless as online things.
Human beings are social animals. The need for human company is an actual literal NEED. Loneliness isn't just a sad feels, it's the same kind of a distress signal as being hungry or cold. Your tiny animal brain has concluded that you have been separated fom the clan and are therefore in immediate, obvious danger and need to seek the company of others immediately.
Your instincts don't realise that you can survive without human company just as well as your hungry stomach doesn't know there's a fridge in the other room. Your body WILL interpet a diet as a time of famine, and physical isolation as a sign of immediate, instant, constant fucking danger.
That's why it feels like you're dying. Because the oldest parts of your brain believe you are.
>>16425506
hahaha.
no.
you just don't have any willpower.
speaking as a /fit/izin.
>>16425492
If your partner demanded that you spend half an hour brushing their teeth twice per week, would you do that?
And s/he'll always ask just the very minute you get comfortable. No, it can't wait. You have to get up and go do it. And once you're done, your good mood is gone as well. And your partner is angry that you didn't pretend to like it as well.
Or worse, they won't let you stop before you pretend to like it.
>>16425495
I've tried that. It didn't work.
>>16425504
I like fat guys. Probably something to do with no sex, too. Being obese fucks up your hormones, ups estrogen production in men. It's literally emasculating, and more than a little humiliating. Makes them less threatening.
Also soft.
>>16425525
Oh, don't get me wrong, you CAN choose to not act on distress signals. I'm doing it as we speak. But you're still going to be aware of them. And die earlier.
>how do you catch fish if you hate bait, nets, poles, or using your hands
>>16425506
>That's why it feels like you're dying.
but it doesn't. What are you talking about?
Also, someone getting a wifu or online relationship doesn't mean they aren't interacting with other people normally.
OP stated that one of the problems was that she couldn't leave her family, which indicate that she isn't completely isolated.
>>16425535
>how do you catch the worm without getting a fucking hook through your jaw
>>16425546
For the record I have no male relatives and I can't cuddle my mom.
>>16425527
>I like fat guys
Fuck, guess I'm out then.
I'm currently getting swole because I hated my weak and flabby self.
You're not obese yourself, aren't you?
>Makes them less threatening
So you see guys as some sort of threat?
Don't get me wrong, but did you get raped or something? Or is it because you fear that every guy secretly wants sex from you?
>>16425552
Then get a female friend or a cuddlebuddy. wasn't that all the rage a few years ago, or something?
>>16425556
Around 5'6/130 lbs. Not exactly a gym bunny but I'm not completely immobile either.
And of course they want sex. And if you don't want sex, that means they are a threat.
>>16425569
If you think that every guy out there wants sex from you, why are you even looking for one if you already lost hope?
Despite the fact that probably 90% of guys would ask for it, not all of them are like that.
So please don't say "all the guys want sex from me" because it is just not true, perhaps for the guys you've met before.
>>16425590
>from me
I'm not trying to make myself sound like some unique special snowflake that all men want to rape. A cunt is a cunt and most women are completely interchargeable to most men. I just take particular concern over myself because other people are not my business.
And I'm not saying all men. I know there are men who don't want sex. I just have no fucking clue where to start looking for one in a society where it's rude to talk to strangers unless you're both drunk, and men in bars are there for a reason.
>>16425601
You can try pretending to be celibate...... wear a ring let em see it.. talk to guys abt your not having sex.... and just avaoid guys who want sex..
>>16425527
>If your partner demanded that you spend half an hour brushing their teeth twice per week, would you do that?
Quite honestly yes, if my partner needed me to do something that only takes an hour of my week I would. Why wouldn't I?
If my current partner demanded I have sex with them whatever instant they felt like it I'd tell them to fuck off. That's unreasonable. What you said earlier was that you find sex boring and possibly painful. Not that it made you depressed. I'd finding brushing my partner's teeth boring, it wouldn't "ruin my good mood".
Sex isn't just someone jackhammering your vagina. If I didn't like penetration I would still find pleasure in the warmth and comfort of their body, and I would keep any penetration minimal and avoid it all together if I could. There is no reason for them to not orgasm though. I don't know why I would find spending 30 minutes cuddling and playing with my partner so painful and boring.
So if you have some deeper issue with intimacy then you need to get that sorted out because it's going to be a fucking huge problem with any relationship with someone that isn't asexual. If you just think penetration is a bit shit then just fucking suck it up. Literally. Shit, I spend more time watching television shows I hate than I would having to fuck someone.
>>16425612
The problem with the whole "lie back and think of England" approach is that some of them won't stop before you pretend to like it too.
>>16425622
Clearly you've made some terrible experiences you should talk through with an actual therapist.
>>16425601
Hm, I'm starting to run out of ideas.
We're somewhat in the same boat though.
Guess it all comes down to random encounters while doing arbitrary shit, while not actively looking for someone.
When my partner wouldn't get sex from me they'd probably cheat or flat out leave for not showing enough interest, I'd imagine.
>>16425622
Why would you lie back and think of England? Just speak to your damn partner. Say "I don't enjoy penetration, but I'm happy to massage, cuddle, tease, suck, use my hands, dress up for you."
If they're not okay with that and they need penetrative sex then it's not going to work. No big deal. Not everyone is a 19-year-old boy.
If the problem is that you find kissing, cuddling and massages boring then you're going to struggle with relationships that aren't with like minded people.
>>16425631
Demanding someone else to make you ejaculate when you're perfectly capable of performing it yourself still makes roughly as much sense to me as demanding someone else to wipe your asshole.
If I had a way to manually satisfy my need for human closure (which I have tried, multiple times, in many different ways), I'd never need to leave the house again.
>>16425633
The way people keep mistaking physical intimacy with sex in this thread is really, truly, deeply confusing to me.
I like closure. I like touching, being touched, kissing, being kissed, hugging, cuddling together, touching each other and all that, and the presence of an erection (or merely having to dread it) is roughly as welcome of an addition as motor oil to an ice cream cake.
>>16425644
I understand your way of thinking that way.
There are still millions of people out there for which sex is a must-have if you're in a relationship since you can't do it alone. They think that you don't need a relationship if you won't have sex.
> the presence of an erection
Wait, do you get the creeps upon seeing an erect penis? Getting turned on from being intimate with someone is nothing to be scared of, if that person doesn't intend to surpise-fuck you with it. Is that what you fear?
>>16425633
>being this much of an emasculated faggot
If a woman won't perform her biological function she's defective
>>16425656
Well you also think that wanting to have an orgasm with a partner is the same as wanting to have your partner wipe your ass. So I'm not surprised how you fail to understand human sexuality.
For most people sex and physical intimacy are not separate things. Making out with someone and penetration are just different elements of sex.
The plot keeps thickening here. First it seemed you were asexual. Then it seemed like you just didn't enjoy sex. Now you seem to have quite a deep disgust at the idea of the male form.
As others have said you need some kind of sex therapy. Or you need to find a very specific and understanding partner for your needs. Nobody can tell you how to find a person that will be happy for you to find their body disgusting, will not desire sexual pleasure from you, but will also want to have heavy petting sessions.
>>16425644
>>16425656
See >>16425627
And I'm serious. Apparently you want to be with a male person in some capacity. Reading what you post, I'd suggest cuddling with a woman, a child or perhaps an animal.
>>16425683
>look at me, look, am I edgy yet?!?!
>>16425701
>derp
>edgy
hello reddit
>>16425679
Well, an erection is usually the point where a perfectly nice moment comes to a screeching halt and becomes a three-hour argument of why-don't-you-let-me-put-it-in. I don't particularly like that.
>>16425687
I'm not disgusted by the male form as it is. It just has certain functions I don't want done to me.
>>16425702
>implying
>>16425712
even worse, /v/
>>16425696
I've tried that (not a child, though, that'd be creepy), and it's really not the same. The dread isn't there, but neither is the pleasure from it.
>>16425708
Only because you expect it to happen doesn't mean it will be like that.
If I'm getting turned on, then I get an erection. Simple as that. It doesn't overwrite my brain so that I can't control where I'm putting my genitals.
It's a normal bodily function. Just like it causes you to sneeze when you got someone's hair on your nose. That doesn't imply that they're allergic to you.
>>16425321
Even speaking as a side, I find sex and masturbation different in that I don't care as much about getting an orgasm during sec with my girlfriend compared to when I'm just having off.
With a girlfriend it's more about the intimacy and bonding of the way than it is about getting off. Hell, often times its better if I don't because then we can do it longer.
I think your problem with sex might be that you're too hung up on the orgasm and it's making it impossible for you to really relax and just enjoy yourself .
>>16425702
Hello tripfag.
>>16425708
Look, from what I've seen in this thread you really do have some underlying issues that you legitimately need to see a therapist about. You are teeming with insecurities, most of them seem to be centered around anything having to do with sex, though some of which seem to have been rooted in your father's and your own drinking habits. You really should resolve your own issues before you go looking for someone to use as a crutch.
>alcoholic father
>therefore drink alcohol out because it's alcoholic to drink at home
>perfectly happy making out and cuddling, but a boner would ruin it
I don't remember a time when I was making out with someone and didn't get a boner. It's an intimate act on its own. Did it lead to sex every time? No, of course not. Some nights are really well spent actually "Netflix and chill"-ing. But often cuddling and making out is the preamble to sex.
>>16425734
For some reason love and sex are completely mutually exclusive to me.
Someone who wants to fuck me doesn't love me. A demand for sex ruins absolutely everything.
>>16425752
Do you feel as a sex toy when you'd have sex with someone because of your previous statements in this thread? Since they could just jerk off and achieve the same thing, I mean.
>>16425724
So that's why you should get therapy, then. Either you'll keep up your apparent strategy of avoidance, or you'll actually admit that you have issues that need to be addressed so you can improve your quality of life.
>>16425527
so how 'bout women?
manly women if you like....
>>16425774
Pretty much. It's not a nice feeling to realise someone would rather ruin your day than use a napkin.
>>16425780
But it's not a life-threatening issue, why should they care?
>>16425807
Why. Yes. I could just switch to lesbians. I could have literally the exact same problem, but entirely without the upside.
>>16425825
Question.
Would it be different if you had the dick and would do the fucking?
>>16425832
Absolutely. Odds are I'd never stop trying to fuck my partner.
>>16425844
Dude wtf is wrong with you.
>>16425160
enjoy dying alone op or try asexual online dating :^)
>>16425855
Lots of things, apparently.
>>16425855
They're an "asexual" troll
>>16425844
And why do you think that is?
Do you feel like you have to act like that when you have a penis, or is it because you feel inferior during sex due to being penetrated instead of penetrating others?
>>16425871
Because penetrating people feels good, being penetrated doesn't?
are you ever attracted to people or is this a physical problem for you? i can't tell.
also, finland.
>>16425881
So what you want is a boyfriend who is into pegging.
>>16425886
I do get attracted to people, but usually only those who are inaccessable for one reason or another. As a rule of thumb I've never been in a relationship with someone I've been romantically interested in and I've never been romanticaly interested in someone I've had a relationship with.
>>16425881
If that's the issue here, then grow a dick because I fucking love futa.
>>16425899
As a substitute for sex?
>>16425917
Sure, in the same way that a substitute teacher is still a teacher.
It's just a different kind of sex.
>>16425160
Good question, being ace is pretty weird, I don't bother dating because I'm afraid they'll ask for sex which I just can't do. I just try to look at it from a light perspective, now I have more time to focus on my goals. But I know where your coming from.
>tfw no sociopath ace bf
>>16425906
there's your problem.
unless you secretly want you be a man and hate your inferior female body that is.
get that shit checked by a professional or keep on doing what you're doing.
onnea
>>16425932
Why would you want a sociopath.
I thought all the time that I am one, but I'm the total opposite.
>>16425972
Also sociopaths and psychopaths tend to be overly sexual and willing to use sex as a manipulation tool.
>>16425972
I pretty much think they're superior to normal people
>>16425980
I know ;_; but I'm so fun and entertaining they'd never get tired of playing with me
>>16425996
Not feeling empathy doesn't make you superior.
For quite a while I thought people with autism are superior since they don't get distracted by stupid emotions.
>>16426013
No not the not fealing empathy part, that's a bit upsetting but it's not they're fault. I just love talking to them and they're personalities even if they do and think fucked up things sometimes. Their way of thinking is superior in terms of survival. Something about them is just so charming and fascinating to me, plus I don't think I'm a good match for normal people I'm very um quirky I guess?
OP I'd say find a guy with a fucked up dick to be with but based on your earlier answer it sounds like you don't live in the US/Canada/Australia so that'd probably be harder to do.
I can't even think of a good way to find guys like that, many of them probably blend in with the beta virgin crowd.
>>16426065
>Their way of thinking is superior in terms of survival.
That's objectively untrue.
Why would you want one?
>>16426089
I can't tell if this is sarcasm or dumbassery
Find an beta, have sex with him a couple of times and slowly do it less and less to the point where you dont have to anymore, if hes beta enough he wont break up with you
