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ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice

Thread replies: 255
Thread images: 27
Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.

Avoid asking these common questions:

>Is it normal for me to go to a club/bar by myself?
Yes. Stop overthinking this.

>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
Some do, some don't.

>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it.

>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.

>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.

>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.

>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
Most likely

>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant

>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know

>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing

>Would you date a virgin?
As long as they aren't insecure about it

>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No

>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>

>That one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships
No one wants to cuddle you. Stop asking

>Brandon or Female Brandon
Piss off.

>Frog
Also piss off.
>>
>>16420713
Women: Do you care at all about the virginity of your partner?
>>
>>16420730
You worded that kind of weird but yes I care if my partner is a virgin
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>>16420730
Virgins are hot, not gonna lie. Also virgins are usually younger guys, which is another plus ofc
>>
>>16420754
>>16420766

I forgot to ask why
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>>16420782
I have severe doubts about the prospect of a long term relationship with a virgin and I'm not just looking to fuck around with someone for a few years and move on.
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>>16420794
Why do you have doubts?
>>
>>16420800
It's highly unlikely any man will be satisfied having ever had sex with one person in his life. So astronomically unlikely it's not worth taking the risk. If he doesn't leave of his own accord then it will just manifest itself as resentment and ruin the relationship anyway.
>>
While we're on the subject of virginity - I'm a semi-involuntary female virgin (I've had chances, but only with people I wasn't attracted to).
If you (assuming you were attracted to me) found that out, would that be positive, negative, or neutral? And why?
>>
>>16420810
That sounds pretty pessimistic

I guess I was an astronomical anomaly
>>
>>16420815
Neutral. I only care about our sexual compatibility.
>>
>Would you date a virgin?
>As long as they aren't insecure about it
>>
For you non-virgins, if you could give your virgin self some key pieces of advice before you did it for the first time, what would you say?
>>
>>16420815

Depends on how you feel :

Neutral if you don't care about it

Positive if you felt like you don't need more than one partner

Negative if it weighs you down and you constantly worry about feeling unwanted
>>
>>16420782
virgins are un corrupted. they're not all used up or wash ups who just fuck & then run. you can also teach them whatever you want. it's like they're tailored to your sexual needs.

gotta disagree with that other anon saying they just wanna f around too. last bf was a virgin, was with him 4 years. current bf was also virgin, have been together 3 years and he's talking about moving in together after college is wrapped up. just gotta pick the cute shy nerd in the back, they're fun and awesome
>>
>>16420815

Neutral, it would mostly lean positive for non-chads. The only people who wouldn't find it attractive are the catch-and-release one night stand types
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>>16420833
Well, I do feel I'd be completely satisfied having only one partner - I know several couples that stayed with their first loves, and it seems to work just fine.
But it (lack of romantic/sexual interaction) does makes me feel unwanted I guess.
>>
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>>16420840
Would you consider someone who's had sex with one person "used up"?
>>
>>16420848
Feeling unwanted is natural I guess,

Just don't let it turn into /r9k/
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>>16420862
No worries - I've never been treated badly by guys, they just usually aren't attracted to me, with some exceptions. And that's fine, you can't choose who you're going to be attracted to.
>>
>>16420713
Ladies, I've just decided to try Tinder again. I always seem to stumble when coming up with an opener. I know the obvious things like not opening with just 'Hi' and not being a downright creep. I'm wondering if random, open ended questions would work well, (of course that all depends on the girl). Have you had any good ones in the past?
>>
>>16420730
I do care- as other anons said before it doesn't create good chances for a long-term relationship.

I could have some fling with a virgin, maybe have fun being his teacher in this stuff but nothing more serious ever- I just see it as a waste of time (especially since he will want relationship and think he will be able to handle ti but after few years it will be 100% over).
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>>16420880
read her profile and react on that.
>>
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>>16420886
Its not very nice to treat people like sex toys
>>
I've been seeing this girl for about 4 weeks and we just recently made it official. However, the last couple days for me aside from that have been ridiculously rough.

So I told my new gf that I'm gonna be flying out to Cali for the weekend, mostly so I can see this other girl who's pretty much my sister in every way except by blood. I really need to see her with how shitty some things have been, and she always makes me feel better by the time I leave.

My gf however is flipping the fuck out and wants me to confide in her instead, but I really want to see my sister and this is a heavy problem I'm dealing with. Not something you easily talk about in a brand new relationship. What should I do?
>>
>>16420897
thats why I don't treat that as such and want a relationship: with virgin guys you are almost 100% sure those relationship aren't going to work out, simple.
Thats why I said that the only options are some short flings (and actually many virgin guys would like that from what I've heard)
>>
>>16420902
Stop acting like a child? What kind of man needs to confide in a woman

Jesus christ
>>
>>16420902
You should go on your trip and deal with the fallout afterward. However strange your relationship is with this "sister" of yours, your girlfriend is expecting way too much after only four weeks of being involved with you.
>>
>>16420902
Oh christ not another woman who expects to be her bf sole and only point of emotional affection.

She needs to get used to the fact you like other females, have deep, meaningful relationships with other females and that this doesn't mean your relationship means anything less.

Good luck though, that point is impossible to reach for lots of women.
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>>16420902
If the tables were turned and she was going out of town to see a guy who was like a brother to her about some stuff that's been happening in her life, how would you feel? How would you want her to deal with it?
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>>16420905
You're going in with the attitude that its destined to fail

Its not simple, its irrational
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>>16420853
lol no! that's crazy. but a person who has had more sexual partners than can be counted on two hands - yup.
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>>16420815

Neutral. I've actually dated a couple mid-20 year old virgin girls before, both were pretty cool. I didn't care.

>>16420828
Wait the extra 9 months 'til you meet that other girl that you actually like. I know you're feeling like shit and rebounding, but throwing away your first time on someone you couldn't care less about will just completely fuck you up. P.S. They come in different sizes. Don't buy "snug" condoms.
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>>16420911
Thanks anon

>>16420913
I mean I don't have a problem with that eventually being the case, but like I said we've only been together 4 weeks. I've known this other girl since we were in diapers, we've never been attracted to each other yet still love each other like family.

I hope she can get used to that...

>>16420914
Depends really
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>>16420918
Good to know I'm not uncorrupted then
>>
>>16420923
>Depends really
On what? Put yourself in her shoes and think it through.
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>>16420916
No, I know what are more stable options.
Sure I can try and count on 1% chance but what for if I am just as able to get mentioned stable option? I don't have infinity to look for guys (especially if I want to have kids in future). There is little worse in dating market for women than to be dropped just before they stop attracting men- and thats how dating virgins when you are 21+ usually ends.

Anyway why are you so defensive about it? You said you are anomaly in this case.
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>>16420930
I did. I wouldn't have a problem with it if the situation was similar to mine.
>>
>>16420942
I'm not being defensive I'm curious what data (whether it be life experience or stories) you're using to arrive at your conclusion

I would argue that there's no age limit on attraction but it has to do more with what phase of life you're in

Anyways, this was insightful
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>>16420943
Do you really believe that, or are you just saying that because you want her to be in the wrong here? Are you actually saying you'd be okay with your girlfriend leaving after 4 weeks together to go and see another guy so he could be her shoulder to cry on? And that his constant presence in her life and his closeness to her wouldn't bother you?

I don't know who's right here, but I do think you're failing to empathise properly in this situation and you're having trouble seeing it from her point of view.
>>
>>16420890
What about if there's no bio and pictures are just sort of generic nights out pics?
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>>16420713
1) Is it a turnoff when you have your own flat, but in your parents' house? (male, 23)

2) Do you care about a guy's activity on social media? Would you give a fuck if he doesn't use fb, twitter, etc.?
>>
>>16420959
If she was able to understand exactly what's killing me lately, and how my sister can help, then she would easily be fine with it. I'll tell her about it some day, but I just can't this early on. Gonna take time for me to get there.
>>
Girls i need you to think like a 18 year old/teenager.

Girl i dated 3 times, she broke it off 3 weeks ago , on good but for me also confusing terms(she didn't know if she had true feelings and some other crap) and it was with a long apologizing text.

Now usually i don't overthink but it happened so many times. everytime i log on into facebook she goes offline, since it says '1 minute ago'.

So what the hell does it mean, is she scared to talk, avoiding me(blocking me would be better right?).

my ego tells me she does have feelings but suddenly got cold feet. How would it look if i suddenly send a message to her?
>>
>>16420978
She really needs to just leave your ass. 4 weeks isn't much of a commitment so far so hopefully she does. There's no need for anyone male or female to have to put up with shit like what you're doing.
>>
>>16420989
Not like I planned on it or even expected it. Sometimes life just says fuck you
>>
vague post incoming, will give details if requested

guy i like lightly punched me in the back to get my attention as he was walking by (restaurant) is that some awkward way of showing he likes me?

he just seems to get less and less smooth every time I see him...idk what's going on but damn
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>>16420956
I don't think there is much data that is needed here, mainly experience- your first relationship usually doesn't last.

I would argue there is very strong age limit when it comes to men judging attractiveness on women and there is actually data to support it (pic related, as far as I remember from the article the sample group was quite big).
I know that I have (statistically) chance for 2-3 more long term relationships when I am at my best.
And thats it.
I know situation of women who have gone beyond this point and there is little to envy there.
Sure you will be able to attract "someone" but its almost never as favorable as when you are in 20-29 age range.
>>
>>16420730
yeah, I'm not a fan of the virgin cling. had that happen two (maybe three) times now and it's annoying.
>>16420828
I'd say "don't drive 21 hours for some dick. it won't even be that good. wait a couple years for the great white dick to show up in your life"
>>16420880
"where do you like to go drink?" gets me every time, i love talking about my bars
>>16420902
idk just ask her if she'll give up one of her friends if she wants you to give up this one. idk why girls are so fucking insecure
>>16420987
let it go. 18 year olds are fickle as hell. she probably decided she doesn't like you any more, found some new dick, either way, if she wants you, she'll come back to you. i doubt she has feelings for you from the sound of it, and messaging her isn't gonna make that better for you. take that ego down a notch, bruh.
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>>16421003
He's seeking approval by way of your attention.
>>
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>>16421004
That is some pretty disheartening data if you're a woman

I don't know much about the 30 year old woman's dating arena but in light of this new evidence I would have to agree with your last point
>>
How do I get GF
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>>16420978
How long have you known her? 4 weeks, or longer?
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>>16421065
4 weeks. Just a random girl I thought was cute so I asked her out
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>>16420902
lol dude are you high?? no woman ever in the history of womankind has ever or will ever be okay with this. hahaha. fly out to see some other bitch - you a crazy mother fucker haha
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>>16421083
i agree with this poster
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>>16421080
Okay, so imagine if a girl you met a month ago suddenly up and left to go and see another guy in another city, just giving you a vague "I need to see him about issues that I'm not ready to tell you about yet. He's like a brother to me, I swear!" as an explanation. Can you seriously not see anything wrong with that?
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>>16421089
I can but it's really hard for me to fully separate my feelings from my logical side rn
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>>16421092
Explain the logical reason you can't just talk to her over Skype or on the phone and you need to drop everything to get on a plane and go literally cry on her shoulder (yeah right).
>>
>>16421092
Well you're going to have to, because there's nothing okay with what you're doing and I don't blame your girlfriend for being uncomfortable with the idea. Like >>16421096 said, you have other outlets, you don't need to go and see her in person.
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>>16421096
Actually I pretty much plan on just crying on her shoulder while she talks me through it , holds me, and comforts me. I wish I never moved...
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>>16421117
If a guy pulled this bullshit you're pulling with me, I'd leave him and never look back. It's a month that I've wasted, but it's only a month and it's better than potentially finding out down the line that he cheated on me with this friend of his.
>>
>>16421117
>holds me, and comforts me
I'm one of the earlier Anons who replied to you OP, and I still hold to what I said about your girlfriend needing to understand the limitations of only knowing you for a month.

That having been said, even if your girlfriend didn't exist, this relationship you have with your "sister" is peculiar and probably harmful to your interpersonal relationships going forward. You need to not be your own enemy just because you've fallen into a comfortable arrangement. That comfort is not worth the damage you'll cause to your romantic life.
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>>16421126
I've put in a lot more effort than she has to be completely honest. Plus if she cheats on me, I'd rather it be at the start of a relationship than deeper into it. I'm really forgiving when it comes to that.
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>>16421138
That's nice, but that doesn't change the fact that this whole situation is shady as fuck from her point of view and that not everyone is as forgiving as you are.
>>
>>16421004
>That feel when you are supposed to be in your prime years
>Looks horrible

My goal is to be a hot milf and target young men with mommy issues.
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>>16421158
Sign me up ;)
>>
(made a similar thread earlier but got no responses, might as well try here)

Girls

There's this woman I met about one year ago. We got to know each other, ended being really good buddies, she was there in my worst moments this year, same thing with me, I ended up being treated like a real king by her.

I'm not gonna bullshit you, I like her a lot and think about her everyday, though I have to accept that she doesn't seem to be into age differences (she's in her mid 40s, I'm in my mid 20s). She treats me like her son and that's good enough for me.

However it's christmas time soon, and I spent way too long without giving or receiving shit because of my current income and how very few people I know, so I'm pretty awful at choosing gifts. The subject of presents came up randomly a few days ago and she said that it was the thought that counts for her, you know the deal. I wanted to give her a nice little present, something that would make her smile because she's had it rough for the last months (got a little accident and she had her mom in the hospital as well). I'm sort of poor but I still like the idea. Any suggestions, like jewelry?
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>>16421179
Jewelry is too much. Get something fairly small and personal. We can't help you with that last part because we don't know her.
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>>16421164
hey its danny remember to go buy some milk
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>>16421164
Already have!
>>
Girls?

Suppose you regularly ask a guy to help out with something you have to do regularly, like weekly or biweekly. You don't/barely talk to him for a while, and don't ask him one time. The day comes again, and he doesn't come over to give you a hand. You ask him why he didn't, and he says he thought you got sick of him because of the lack of contact and didn't want him to.

How would you respond? Would you be understanding?
>>
>>16421179
Don't go for jeweleries.. Women tastes are ridiculously high when it comes to jeweleries, and unless you know exactly what she want the only way you can go good on this one is too pretty much give her the same jewelery she wears a lot, just slightly different or chances are she is going to hate it and never wear it, aka your money is lost.

Does she got any interests, hobbies? Otherwise personal gifts from you is always good. Do you got some kind of inside joke that only the two of you will get? Think hard about what she has mentioned in the past and try to find something she just randomly blabbered out that she would like to do, would love to have, etc..
>>
>>16421215
>he says he thought you got sick of him
This is just a really weird, discomforting, insecure thing to say. It's a little insulting to hear that he thinks I "get sick of" people. Plus why is it now my job to make him feel better about himself? Suddenly him not showing up becomes my problem.

The only thing I would understand from him saying something like that is that I shouldn't associate with him anymore.
>>
>>16421215
>Don't ask for help
>He doesn't come to help
>Ask him why he didn't come without being asked
She's as dumb as you.
>>
>>16421215
I'd probably think he was autistic or insecure. No normal person thinks that way because of one missed day in a routine
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>>16420987
some more responses?
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>>16421211
HAHA YES

ITS YOU
>>
>>16421236
Well, it's hard to say really. As close as we are I never questioned her tastes on many things. She loves sweets and my suggestion about jewelry comes from the fact that about a month and a half ago we went to visit some medieval themed fair. She saw some jewelry and accessories there and she went nuts.

Aside from that, pretty difficult indeed to know what she likes. I can tell you what she dislikes, and that's literature. She usually doesn't have much time for hobbies, but she's pretty outgoing.

I'm not really gonna ask for sizes in terms of clothing for obvious reasons, though she is pretty open to topics like these at times.

If it was her kids it would be much easier, I already know their preferences.

By the way, she said something like "you're the best thing I could ask for this year", but of course I'm not going to get inside a gift box.

Thanks.
>>
Women: you would like to have a dick or ever think what happen if you have one?
Men: you would like to have boobs or ever think what happen if you have a pair?

Normal size and in your own body
>>
>>16420810
Not true desu
>>
>>16421260
>>16421266
I have a history with friends dropping me just like that for way, way less. Multiple good friends, best friends abandoned me throughout my life. That warps my expectations and makes me something other than a 'normal person', I suppose.

Would your answer change if the guy told you this?
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>>16421308
Woman here. Fuck no.
>>
>>16421318
Basically confirms that this guy is not someone I want to be associating with. Too much baggage that I'd be suffering under.
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>>16421308
>Women: you would like to have a dick or ever think what happen if you have one?
Nah
>>
>>16421318
More issues than I want to deal with to be honest.
>>
Girls

Do you like being called bae?
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>>16421339
No.
>>
>>16421339
Only jokingly
>>
>>16421329
>>16421333
Can't blame you, I guess. Why settle for broken if perfect's still out there
>>
>>16421347
>Why settle for broken if therapy's still out there
FTFY
>>
>>16421308
>Not knowing about women's dick envy
Every single woman on the planet wishes they had a dick, if only for a few minutes. If you're ever close enough with a woman to where she can be in the bathroom while you piss, you'll see the envy and curiosity hit her.
>>
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>>16421346
What's up bae? How bout I show you why they call me the horseman
>>
>>16421347
I think the fact that you haven't even tried to fix your attitude is a bigger issue. Can't help someone who doesn't want help
>>
>>16421138
>I've put in a lot more effort than she has
Boo fucking woo.
>>
>>16421353
>>16421362
Therapy isn't a magical cure-all. Believe me, I've tried. Three therapists, an empty wallet and zero improvement other than awareness of this thing before they literally told me they couldn't help me further.

So being honest's not a good idea then. What would've been a better answer? "Sorry, I was busy"? "You didn't ask"?
>>
>>16421365
??
>>
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>>16421299
Yes, I'm gracing you with my presence once again.
>>
Should I gain weight? I'm happy with my size but I'm getting the feeling it isn't helping me get girls. 5'11" 135lbs.
>>
>>16421398
Whatever you say.

You don't need to give an excuse or explanation. "Sorry" is enough.
>>
>>16421403
>135lbs
Fucking hell. Eat. Now.
>>
>>16421403
You should do what will help you look your best. If you can't figure that out on your own, ask others for their opinions.
>>
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>>16421402

Your grace

I have been awaiting your return
>>
>>16421408
It's a mix of being poor and not being able to eat past being full. I'll have to plan it a bit. What's a good goal weight to look into?
>>
>>16421415
Like 190-200. Go to /fit/. They'll tell you how to eat without having lots of money and how to push past your eating limits.
>>
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>>16421411
Good boy.
>>
>>16421438
>good boy

oh dear

tingles
>>
Ladies how does it feel knowing that when a guy looks at you he's probably thinking about ripping off your clothes, bending you over, and ravaging your pussy with his dick? Does that both you?
>>
>>16421470
Why bother worrying about it? If he's going to do it regardless of whatever I do, why would I waste energy caring?
>>
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>>16420713
girls, I exchanged numbers with a qt on thursday and have gotten no response yet. Am I fucked or am I just worrying too much?
>>
>>16421438
How old are you anyway?
>>
>>16420943
I get where you're coming from, but wouldn't it have been easier to just say it's like a family friend or family member that you're visiting? Shit's only been going on for 4 weeks why do you have to be 100% honest and accept all that shit she would obviously say. I mean what girl/guy wouldn't feel that way?
>>
>>16421470
Not unless he tries to talk to me.
>>
Ladies.

I'm mentally ill. Been diagnosed as clinically depressed and bipolar. I struggle with staying motivated and positive pretty much daily. It isn't healthy, but I don't take any medication, so I am probably going to stay this way. I hide my condition from friends and family like my life depends on it and I always put on a smile so I don't drag anyone else down with my bullshit. Thats me, been that way for awhile, fine with it. Its good.

Here is the problem. I don't want my romantic relationships to be like this. I don't want to have to hide who I am, how I feel, and what I am thinking from the person I call my partner. I'd like to be able to be completely honest and open for once instead of just fucking acting for another fucking audience. And sometimes I even meet women that make me think, "She is worth laying it all out in the open for. Exposing all that embarrassing shit and rejection combined are worth even the chance of growing closer to her."

But before I act on that impulse, I consider my best case scenario: The woman worth taking all that risk for is now stuck with me and all of my bullshit. And that is where I've stopped at with every relationship. It just seems too selfish, to inflict my crazy ass on someone, just so I wont be lonely.

Am I right? Am I overthinking things? Am I mentally ill?

Most people seem to just hide how crazy they are until the relationship crashes and burns.
>>
>>16421484
>>16421577
So as long as they don't talk to you then you're OK with most guys thinking of intense sexual acts they'd like to do to your body
>>
>>16421610
I couldn't give a fuck what some guy I don't even know is thinking about.
>>
>>16421610
I can't stop him from thinking anything, and I honestly don't care. I can handle myself if he tries to act upon those thoughts just fine too.
>>
>>16421610
So long as he's OK with me looking at him and judging if he is actually worthy of doing it it's all good, because that is what most women are doing. Women are just as sexual, so we are assessing you right back.
>>
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So I've finally decided to ask out a classmate I've been crushing on for about a year now, (got to know her a lot better the past 3 months). A couple of things though:

1. She might/probably has a boyfriend
2. She likes me (multiple classmates have asked if we're a thing, have made comments about her flirting with me ect.)
3. I like her

I was planning on just asking if her if she'd like to grab lunch with me after class (uni), but I'm not sure if I should ask about her boyfriend (she's never brought him up in conversation with me, but she's a pretty reserved person anyways)
>>
>>16421640
how is it possible to have gotten to know her better in 3 months(3 MONTHS!) and not figured out whether she has a bf or not? Not even asking?
Anyway, don't ask about her boyfriend, it's more efficient to ask her out. You'll get your answer then anyway and you'll know whether she's down with you or not.

Most importantly if it doesn't work out, good for you for putting yourself out there and don't stop!
>>
>>16421516
My wife never texted or called me back for the first 4 months of dating because she was going through a busy time. I told her texting back was easy, but she liked me too much and the thought of casually texting made her anxious.

So either she lost interest, or she's very busy and head over heels for you.
>>
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>>16421696
I see, maybe you're right. Odds are she's busy. to be honest about it, My meeting her was pretty quick as this was at my college and had to go to my next class soon. I remember her saying she'd call if she wasn't working so there's that. And I remember she seemed pretty happy to have me come up and and talk to her, so I guess I'll hold in there. Thanks anon.
>>
>>16421638
That's good because when I see an attractive woman I think about things like how their tits feel or the feeling of her butt pressing against me, or how she'd sound when I'm fucking her. These thoughts go through my head pretty much for every decently attractive girl I see. I know I'm not in the minority either.
>>
>>16421022
So chances are good he's digging on me, too. Very cool.
>>
Guys, if you were fucking it up with a girl you were seeing, would you want her to tell you? If so, how?

It's not me in this scenario, it's my friend, but I can try to give as much detail as you might need
>>
>>16421824

communication is essential in any relationship
>>
>>16421824
It depeneds. What are the specifics of the situation?
>>
>>16421824
Yes, I'd like to be with a girl who asked for stuff if she wasn't getting it. That having been said I don't want to be with a girl who nags incessantly about the same issues. Mention it once and give me a sincere opportunity to think and change. If I do, great. If I don't, I'm not the guy for you. That's something you need to realize for yourself.
>>
>>16421849
They met through work (same chain, different stores). She's 22, he's in his late 20s and seems to have little/no experience with women. They're both quite nerdy, so they really hit it off at first, but she's getting more and more annoyed with him.

He's awkward in person, but when they text, he's unnecessarily flirty and seems to think he's super charming. Takes little interest in her, and when she tries to mention something about her life, he steers it back to himself. For example, she's just started on her Masters and he doesn't even know what her thesis is about because he completely deflected it when she mentioned it to him. Another example is that she's had a sore back and been sick, and he was all "aww, maybe you just need to see me, I'll make it all better ;)"

I wouldn't be surprised if he were a guy from around here, to be honest. She's told him she'd appreciate it he didn't try to be flirty all the time, but he just said "you love it, don't lie"

I personally wouldn't have bothered with this guy, but they do share quite a few interests and they have the same power level so I can kind of understand why she's still in contact with him.
>>
>>16421884
He sounds kind of autistic. I don't think there is anything that she could say that would make him change; I mean, have you tried talking to an autist irl? They are impossible to get through to


If it were me I would want her to just say something like "I really need to talk to you about our relationship" and then "When you always refocus a conversation onto yourself it seems like you don't care about me. You don't even know what my thesis is about."
But again, he seems like an autist and it sounds like she has said things like this already so I doubt saying it again will help
>>
>>16421910
Yeah, I don't know what will help her. She's stopped replying when she gets too frustrated, and he hasn't texted her in a couple of days now so I think he's somewhat getting the hint. He's definitely still into her though, just judging by how much more invested he is in her, it's probably killing him inside that she hasn't texted first
>>
>>16421728
No prob. If a very busy woman wants to go out with you, chances are she's highly interested. You just need to decide if you're willing to be as patient as a saint.

Normal dating rules don't apply to busy women that are also shy or even slightly shy. People will say all kinds of shit like she will always msg you back if she really likes you, but that simply isn't the case here. Like I said, she can also just be too shy to msg you back with the little thinking time she has to put into the text. Most people take a lot longer than they think when texting someone they realllly like and are nervous about.

Only take advice from those of us who have been there. Do not Google anything about it either, it'll drive you fucking insane with inaccuracies that seem accurate.
>>
Question for the girls: What's the best and safest way to approach a girl without looking and sounding like a weirdo?

I've had bad past experiences with approaching any type of person just to talk to them, both men and women, but I am interested in dating these days so that's why i'm asking.

No, I don't hang out in bars or clubs, so it might decrease my chances somewhat.
>>
>>16422241
Have a reason to approach them other than "hey, I thought you were cute". Approach them in situations where it's acceptable to approach them. Approach them only if they look like they'll be receptive. Don't persist if they're not receptive. Don't expect them to go out on a date with a guy they just met
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>>16421308
I want to have a dick so badly! Only for like a day tho. Just so I know. I'm not an idiot, it's nice af being a green eyed white grill.
>>
What can I text a girl to make myself sound interesting?
>>
Both: How soon should you ask a girl out?

Like right after talking to her for a bit or after a few conversations?
>>
>>16420766
>Also virgins are usually younger guys, which is another plus ofc
That's a new one. I'm indifferent about age within reason, but all the women I know tend to seek a guy a few years older rather than younger.
>>
>>16420815
Indifferent. Usually the biggest problem is why they're a virgin to begin with, not the virginity itself. If you're a well balanced individual I have no problem.

>>16421403
S P O O K Y
S C A R Y
S K E L E T O N
>>
>>16422267
>only if they look like they'll be receptive

How do I know if they're receptive or not?
>>
Im 23 and the girl I like is 19 (study same course).

She gave me her number, without asking, in the middle of our lecture, like 2 months ago.

I downloaded the whole season of her favorite show because she couldn't find it and gave it to her last week of semester.

She just went overseas to compete in a sport competition and I got a message from her on facebook.

Now Shes finished it and messaged me asking if the new ones out.

Does that mean she wants me to download this shit and ask her to hang out over uni break? I admit im kind of in love with her, had a dream about her last night too and i rarely recall dreams (smoke weed erryday).

WHAT DO!? girls please, shes fit and im like 10kg overweight, do I even stand a chance?
>>
Girls and fellow guys

So I matched a girl 2 months ago on Tinder, she gave me her number and we've just been texting back and forth since then. The thing is I think she's sending me signals that she wants to meet IRL (we haven't met yet). But I'm not really up for meeting. She's cute, and we agree on a lot of stuff like politics (we've been texting a ton during the Debates discussing issues, and we also agree on a lot of movies and music stuff to. So how to I say "I don't want to meet you IRL, but I like texting" without coming off as a asshat.
>>
>>16422474
Here's a hint: if they've got earphones in, are busy doing something (including reading) or look like they're thinking hard about something or have something on their mind, they're not receptive.
>>
Question to both: Is being excessively sweaty a turnoff?

I tend to sweat a lot after walking a long distance, most likely due to being overweight and all.
>>
>>16422477
10kg overweight isn't awful, and clearly this girl has an interest in you. I say just ask her if she wants to watch it and go for it!
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>>16422485
I think being overweight is a bigger issue than sweating
>>
>>16422372
If you are having a good conversation that you are both into then you should ask right then. If you wait then you run the risk of her thinking your not interested in her in "that" way.
>>
>>16422485
>most likely due to being overweight and all.

That is a much bigger problem than being sweaty
>>
>>16422485
Sweating not so much. I get sweaty really easily also so I wouldn't mind it. Being overweight on the other hand would be a turnoff.
>>
>>16421403
I weigh about 10 pounds less at the same height. Runnerfag with like no bodyfat, and it's not like I'm not muscular. The goal is to gain at least 10 pounds, but with the amount of physical activity I do, it's pretty damn fucking hard.
>>
>>16422485
>>16422488
>>16422494
>>16422503
Also, I have been losing weight these days, don't know how much fat I have lost, but I weighed 113 kg two weeks a go, now I weigh about 102 kg, amazingly.
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>>16422515
Either your scales are wrong, you're reading them wrong or you're losing weight dangerously quickly. And 102kg is still fat as fuck.
>>
Girls are frequent text and messenger replies exclusive to guys you're solely interested in? I have girls who are pretty interested in me but when it comes down to it I barely get replies from them when I message them and I feel kinda ignored. But when I'm in person with them they give me plenty of attention and pretty much stick to me. I feel the sexual tension and everything else but why is it so hard for girls to just text back?
>>
girls: when/where is a good time/place for a cold opening?

It just always feels wrong.
>>
>>16422515
>113 to 102
>2 weeks

Is this a ruse?
>>
>>16422520
The scale was bought about a week a go.

Then again errors can show up early as well.

But I have noticed some amount of weight loss from wearing some clothes, but then again I am gaining muscle mass at the same time.
>>
>>16422539
You only bought a scale a week ago, but you know you were 113kg at least a week earlier than that? And somehow you've lost 11kg in a few weeks, consisting of losing fat as well as gaining muscle? Am I reading this right?
>>
>>16422483

Can someone answer this?
>>
>>16422544
I've been walking every day, doing about 90 to 120 push ups every week, only drinking water, and eating healthy of course. God damn my scale might be broken after all.
>>
>>16422548
You are an asshat. There is no way not to come off as one
>>
for girls: if a chick that has been friendly/flirty with me on numerous occasions mentions in passing that she is dating someone (but without using the word "boyfriend"), does this basically make her a dead end, or still worth pursuing? external from this drop, she seemed completely curious and potentially interested in me.
>>
>>16422548
Probably
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>>16422487
Ask her to watch it with me or ask her if she'd like the files and maybe we can hang out so I can give them to her?

Should I message her on facebook, text or call her?

I haven't dated in 2 years since a bad breakup and im rusty communicating with girls, unless its face to face.
>>
>>16422548
You're making a decision you'll regret.
>>
>>16422561
Keep in contact but don't consider her "into" you. She could just naturally be flirty.
>>
>>16422483
Does she agree that you Can't Stump the Trump?
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>>16422558
You should check what the max weight is. They often can only read up to a certain weight. I think they're usually built to read up to about 150kg these days, but you should double check anyway.

Don't let the scale discourage you though. Keep it up, and you'll notice the weight dropping off soon enough. It takes time, it's not going to happen overnight. The best way to gauge weightloss is with measurements and how your clothes fit, so don't put too much weight on the number on your scales. Pun intended
>>
>>16422565

Why do you think that?

>>16422572

Yes, but she's more of a Rubio fan.
>>
>>16422548
>I don't want to meet you IRL

What is the point of texting her then?
>>
>>16422606

She's just fun to text I guess. I have a friend I've known for 6.5 years and never met in real life, yet we have a good friendship.
>>
how can a guy learn to kiss well enough to not embarrass himself his first time?

i'm kind of old for my first kiss (21 currently) so i'm at that stage where its kind of strange to not know how, but i'm not necessarily afraid of trying
>>
>>16420815
Definitely positive. I'm a guy and im kind of in the same situation where i feel that iv had chances to lose it, but for one reason or another each time(wasn't attracted, was a friends ex, felt like i should do it with someone i care more about) i didn't. knowing the girl i liked was a virgin would probably help me relax about the fact that im a virgin a lot and i would feel really happy to know that even at this point i still have the opportunity to lose my virginity with someone else
>>
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So I have a female best friend I've met at uni. She's currently in an LDR and recently has been "successfully" reigniting the spark in her relationship. However, she and I do everything together and spend nearly every day together (physical contact is frequent, like bumping into each other or leaning on one another while watching a play and shit, etc;). I'd date her in a heartbeat but I don't want to put her in that situation.

Now the above paragraph isn't what I'm here for, it's just background info. What's really weird is that she slowly hinted about a "wet dream" she had last night about someone she knew, but was too embarrassed to say. Eventually, she confessed that it was about me and didn't want it to be awkward. I'm usually good in social scenarios, but I honestly have no idea what to do with this information.

Do I pursue it or let it be? She's told me this happens every now and then, which I assured her isn't abnormal, but what just strikes out as weird is that she hinted at it and then eventually told me. Not something I can exactly plan for.

Pic related. It's what I've looked like for the past 2 hours since she left.
>>
>>16422527
I found this out from observing my girlfriend's friends.
1) She's busy socialising with someone else (on the phone, in person, whatever) or doing something else more important at the time
2) If she's into you, she's gonna look for advice over even the simplest things on how she should reply from her close friends
3) If she's not into you, she will think that making it seem like she's not interested will give you enough of a message. But in person she doesn't want to seem like a dick and will act friendly.
>>
>>16422618
Don't worry about it, it will come naturally to you.
>>
>>16422615
I have really good Internet friends too, but they aren't a good replacement for real life friends. And an internet gf is an even worse replacement for the real life counterpart.
>>
>>16420815
Definitely good. It means you have standards and will hold others up to them. Plus it's nice knowing a girl hasn't had a few football fields worth of dick in her.
>>
>>16422615
Weird t
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>>16422618
its awesome, and pretty straightforward, anon. don't sweat it.
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>>16422635

I'm just not looking for sex or a relationship or anything. It's just nice to have a new text buddy

>>16422638

Why is that weird?
>>
>>16422649
>Why is that weird?

It is weird that you would not want to meet a "cute" girl irl that you are compatible with
>>
>>16422618

My first kiss was a 23. I did fine, just followed her lead and did what came natural (More than fine even. I've kissed lots of girls and guys since, she's objectively still probably the most skilled kisser I've ever experienced, and despite it being my first, she walked away--or rather literally skipped away--just as giddy as me).

A lot of people are pretty bad at kissing at every age and experience, so it's hard to embarrass yourself to begin with. If you're worried, just start sweet and go from there. Don't try to suck their face off, don't slobber all over them, don't jam your tongue in their mouth, simple and sweet.
>>
>>16422665

I just don't want a girlfriend
>>
>>16422682
Then why are you on tinder?
>>
Had an hour and a half coffee date with a girl tonight. Texted her afterwards and all that. Said she looked cute too. She and I were laughing a bit at each others stories too. She was open for a second date as well and I hugged her goodbye.

Why do I have this uneasy feeling like I messed up? I haven't been on a date in a few years btw.
>>
>>16422703
you didnt try to bang her.

girls like when you show intent. just hugging her makes you feel like a friend and not a potential romantic suitor.
>>
>>16422688

I don't really know actually. I guess out of boredom. Usually Tinder is absolute shit, but I was able to actually have God conversations with this girl. I didn't even ask for her number, she gave it to me on her own.
>>
>>16422682
it doesn't have to be as big a deal as I think you've convinced yourself it is.
>>
>>16422714

Explain please?
>>
>>16422703
>Why do I have this uneasy feeling like I messed up? I haven't been on a date in a few years btw.

You literally answered your own question.

Though to be honest, I don't think I've ever had a coffee date that didn't last 3+ hours/turn in to something else after, but then again, I have no idea about your schedules, and every one dates differently.
>>
i've never drank before, is it safe for me to get drunk with my guy friends? I'm not a small girl (5'10", etc) but most of my friends are guys and my roommates tell me that they'll try to take advantage of me even if they wouldn't normally

they want to watch american horror story and play drinking games, so it wont really be a party or anything
>>
>>16422711
I thought that was second date purposes? At least that was what I was gonna try this thursday when we agreed to meet again (hopefully).
>>16422734
That's what I was thinking it could turn into later on with dinner maybe. But she seems focused on getting enough sleep because she has work at 7 AM.

Just don't wanna mess this up because again the really long dry spell and she's different from other girls (she likes to play skyrim). Also she's pretty cute.
>>
>>16422754
If you're going to get drunk, do it in an environment you feel safe in.
>>
>>16422754
They'll rape you for sure

Unless you want your mouth, vagina and anus being stuffed with cock at the same time you should probably stay home
>>
>>16422754
Don't start with drinking games, it's guaranteed to not end well even if you don't get raped.

Then what comes to getting drunk with your friends you know them better than anyone else. If they seem sketchy then it's not a good idea but I don't know why you'd be their friend in the first place in that case.
>>
>>16420713
girls is there any way i can tell if this girl in my class is checking me out?

i used to stare at this girl a lot because she is a qt and the class is pretty boring and slow. But i kind of felt like a loser giving this girl that doesnt know me a longing gaze that was never returned or acknowledged, so i cut back on the staring a lot almost completely.

by chance i found her on instagram tagged in a post by a local band i follow, so i followed her and she followed back. i have been liking some of her pics and she started liking mine too.
now every once in a while in class for the past couple weeks when i look up from spacing out or whatever, I'll look up to see her staring right at me and we make eye contact for a moment before she looks away.
this probably doesn't mean much, but the semester is ending soon so if theres an opportunity here i want to take it before its too late
>>
>>16422795
Please refer to the OP
>>
Girls and guys,

Do you use always use condoms?
If you don't, why not?
>>
>>16422808
i dont feel like im in a position to ask her out though
>>
to girls

isn't it fucked up that you got a different dude you have a one night stand with and a dude you date?

like nobody wants to be the latter option

it's like being the side bitch/mistress. being the "support" boyfriend is like being a woman only used for sex, nobody's into that shit
>>
>>16422816
And why the fuck is that? Also if you're not in a situation to ask her out why do you even care.
>>
>>16422754
That depends entirely on your friends.

Most guys you should probably be safe with, but when I say most, it's probably like a 80 to 20 ratio something like that.

People tend to be less inhibited when they get drunk, and it affects everyone differently Could they become more liberal with their touches? Maybe. Will they flat out rape you? No (unless you hang out with scummy as hell friends/strangers. I can't outright say it's not a possibility, especially because I do know and have been close to some girls that got legit drugged and raped at parties--and it was by acquaintances)

Personally, I tend to be the conservative side, but even I've definitely found hooked up with girls just because we were both drunk and said fuck it (my best friend and one of my favorite one night stands happened this way--mutually consensual of course).

If you don't trust your friends, either don't go, or go with one that you do, and watch eachother's backs. When in doubt, buddy system it out.
>>
>>16422534
Most of it was probably water weight

Not that unbelievable desu
>>
>>16422814

No. My girlfriend has the implant, and we learned condoms absolutely destroy and rub her raw (regardless of how wet or what lube)
>>
To girls: How often do you ask guys on dates?
>>
>>16422883
Since girls don't actually exist on the internet, I'll just mention that around a third of the dates I go on are from women asking me out.
>>
>>16422850
well if i had some insight into whether or not she may be interested i could have some more confidence about it. really though i have no idea how to even attempt to naturally ask her out. i'd like to start by talking to her first or interacting with her in real life somehow. iv seen her between some of my other classes in the same building as me, so i guess I'm hoping that fate will just present me with a chance at some point, and at that point i will be more willing to take it if i have some more confidence
>>
is it ever NOT a mood killer to ask for permission to do something relatively "small"? (kiss, put your arm around her, hug, etc?)

i caught myself doing it the other day. i said "i really wanna kiss you' to a girl that i'm friends with. and i instantly cringed at myself
>>
>>16422927
Sure. It's all in the delivery. Only use it sparingly, though.
>>
>>16422919
Then talk to her.
>>
To both men and women: How does one politely ask a person on a date?

Is it really as simple as small talk and such and then asking?
>>
>>16422964
"we should go on a date"
"wanna go on a date with me?"
"can i take you on a date sometime?"

depends how well you know the person.
>>
>>16422814
Yes, unless she's on birth control and I trust her to be smart about it.

>>16422754
I wouldnt advise it unless there's someone there you can trust to keep people from being shitters. People use alcohol as an excuse too much.
>>
>>16422927
You can "ask" without speaking if you use body language properly
>>
>>16422883
Never had to, to be honest. I meet very few guys I'd actually be interested in dating, and they've asked me out first.

I don't know about other girls, but I don't think "I want to date them" when I see a guy I think is attractive, I just check them out. I'd have to like a guy's personality to actually want to date him
>>
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>>16423000

This is the cock you're looking for
>>
>>16423000
this is how you get rape charges anon.

always ask permission
>>
>>16423016
>this is how you get rape charges anon.

Aren't false accusations more common in the US?

it's fucking crazy!
>>
>>16423016
>this is how you get rape charges anon.
>always ask permission

Who are you people fucking? Why would you be with someone that would charge you with rape?

I am not talking about strangers and I'm not talking about whipping it out and fucking her if she doesn't protest.
>>
>>16422836
>isn't it fucked up that you got a different dude you have a one night stand with and a dude you date?
Um... how is this fucked up again? It's just women getting theirs.

Are you seriously telling me that you don't want side bitches? Or fat bitches that cook you food that you don't have to fuck?

Come on man. What I think is fucked up is that men let themselves get suckered into that shit. If you don't want to be her emotional tampon men, then stop. it's that simple for fuck's sake but all I ever hear about from women is how you guys don't stand up for yourselves and get used at the mere hint of pussy.
>>
>>16422836
>isn't it fucked up that you got a different dude you have a one night stand with and a dude you date?

It is fucked up that beta guys will go along with this
>>
>>16422836
How is that any different from what men do?
>>
>>16423032
>Why would you be with someone that would charge you with rape?
You know how people get into relationships, and the partner turns out to be abusive or unfaithful? It's not like they're wearing a sign saying "I'm an asshole".
>>
>>16423037
>Are you seriously telling me that you don't want side bitches?
That sounds like something that would appeal to me in highschool. Nowadays, I'd rather be single than deal with that kind of shit.
>>
>>16423047
Yea, but you should have a pretty good idea about a person character before you have sex with them. You should have mutual trust
>>
>>16423065

I feel the same way
>>
>>16423068
>You should have mutual trust
Which I fully agree with. But sometimes people betray that trust. I'm just saying, sometimes people hide the shitty side of their personality fairly well.
>>
>>16423087
Yea, I guess. But it still would be a mood killer to ask for permission. It just seems weird to me, but then again I have never had a one night stand or sex with someone that I didn't know pretty well.
>>
>>16423100

I have, and I've had potential ones where I've completely ejected because I tend to get to know or read people pretty well beforehand, and things just don't sit right.

>>16423087

I agree some people hide their shitty side fairly well... but also... if you're judicious and not desperate, you can still dodge a ton of crazy.
>>
>Girl I met a few years ago and became FB friends with
>Was fat when I met her
>I think she liked me at the time
>Didn't really talk for 2 yearrs
>Suddenly lost all the weight and got really attractive
>Posted a halloween costume that was so in my strike zone that I can't stop thinking about it.

Even if I don't think I can have a relationship with her or anything, I'm so impressed by what she's done with herself that I'd really like to say something, but it's been 3 days since she posted the pic already. I also feel like an asshole for being like "hey, I didn't like you when you're fat but you're hot now," even if I say it in a more tactful way.

Should I just let it go? Wait for another opportunity? Say something now? If so, what?
>>
The past few months sex had been sucking with my s/o. We had established that it was because he had been watching porn on these days. Normally when he dosnt watch porn it's better. What I mean by better is that sex is Actually happening and he's able to finish.

We normally only see each other once a week since were both busy and live on opposite ends of the city and tonight we didn't have sex because he admitted to looking at porn this morning. I can't help but feel annoyed and like I'm unimportant to him. He said I was being unreasonable and ridiculous and I shouldn't be able to get mad at him for this. I'm
Not blood boiling angry though I'm just let down and going through a hard time trying to help my best friend go through a hard divorce. And I guess this week I wanted to feel connected to him and cared for.
Am I being crazy? Can someone but this into the male perspective for me.
>>
Telling a girl I used to be close with until recently:
>I feel you're so distant lately, is something up?

Good idea? Bad idea?
>>
>>16423537
If you're telling the truth, what do you ACTUALLY want from her?

>>16423547
Terrible. You're either going to get a vague "I'm busy" or a bullshit excuse, neither of which is actually going to give you an answer.
>>
>>16423545
Are you initiating? If so, is he outright denying you?
>>
>>16423545
Did he know you were coming when he decided to watch porn and jerk off?

If you had arranged to meet up in advance so that he was aware that you'd be coming over later on that day then you had the right to be mad at him since you've talked about the issue. Though you can't just expect him to not ever watch porn or masturbate just because you might be coming over at any moment, especially when you don't see each other that often.

If you spend most days together and you wanted sex on a daily basis and he wouldn't be able to do it because of porn then you'd have every right to be mad at him for doing it at all.
>>
>>16423553
Ya I initiated and he said he probably wouldn't be able to cum because he jerked off twice
>>
>>16423552
What's the best way for me to actually get an answer then? I'm not into playing games. Not anymore at this stage.
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>>16423556
No we were planning this day for a week. And I don't care about him watching porn when I'm not around. Or him jerking off. It's just when he does it and ruins sex
>>
>>16423552
>If you're telling the truth, what do you ACTUALLY want from her?

Honestly?

Half is just that I'm legitimately so impressed with her transformation that I'd like to say something nice about it.

The other half, probably not surprisingly, is that I want to bang her senseless.

That's really reinforced by the costume she chose to make, too, there's a particular uncommon fetish that I have that it hits exactly, and it's not canon to the character so I know she made a conscious choice to make it that way. It indicates that she actually shares my fetish and that as much as anything is what drives me wild.
>>
>>16423545

On one hand, I'm just going to say you shouldn't be bothered by the porn thing--but it sounds like you're not, except for the fact that he does it on days you're supposed to have sex. On the other hand, the fact that he apparently prefers porn to you--when consider that you only meet once a week--is kind of ridiculous imo...

I say all that as a guy who's probably in a similar dynamic as far as logistics. My girlfriend and I pretty much only get to meet once a week as well... and I've noticed my ability to finish is also slightly hampered on days I watch porn (like, I have no problems having erections, going for hours, or with my recoup time, but actually cumming becomes more difficult and I know it bugs my gf because she feels like it's unfair) so when we do, definitely no porn for me.

I think you have legit reason to be a little bit bothered, but that's probably not the main issue here. Contextually, the fact that this has been happening for months all definitely sounds symptomatic of a much, much larger issue.

You guys need to sit down and have a serious discussion and find out what's going on in your relationship as a whole.
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>>16423558
Next time just rape him. Ask him questions about the porn he watched while you've got his dick in your hand/mouth. That'll show him.
>>
Is it normal to feel like absolute shit while thinking about your crush (who doesn't have feelings for you) being with other guys? What's the best way to ignore the fact you'll never be more than acquiantances while other guys are getting some? Is this jealousy or self-esteem making me think like this?
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>>16423562
You don't. I'm assuming you weren't dating her, in which case it's not like closure in order to know if you're single or not or anything

>>16423565
Well to be honest, I don't see a way of saying anything that doesn't scream "I'm an asshole who didn't want to date you when you were fat but now that you're hot I just want to get in your pants" even if it is well-intentioned. I'm not saying you are an asshole, I don't know you well enough to judge that, but that's how it's going to come across. I'd recommend not saying anything, honestly, especially if you haven't talked to her in a while, because that just reinforces the 'I just want sex from you' message.
>>
>>16423579
Is it normal? I don't know, probably.

How to ignore it? Don't get hung up on one girl, find another one. It's not like they're rare

Is it jealous or self esteem? Probably both, but probably the former.

And if you haven't tried to make a move or ask her out and are just waiting for her to fall in love with you one day, I don't have any sympathy for you.
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>>16423582
Yeah, that's kind of what I thought.

To be fair, when we met, I was a week out of a 5 year relationship and not really looking to date, and she knew that, so I have a pretty plausible explanation for the lack of interest.

I'm likely to see her at a convention in a couple of months, think it's acceptable to say something at that point?
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>>16423582
>I'm assuming you weren't dating her
We were. In fact, we still have something planned.
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>>16423591
>I'm likely to see her at a convention in a couple of months, think it's acceptable to say something at that point?
I'd say something generic like "hey, you're looking great", but I'd avoid making specific comments on her body. Even if she doesn't think you're an asshole, it might make her uncomfortable
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>>16423571
I'm not bothered by porn. I watch it as well. We have talked about it, he basically just said he had night classes and works at a bar so he when he wakes up he had time to jerk it and so he does and he basically just said he was horny and that he dosnt jerk off often anymore when he sees me. I'm sleeping over at his house tonight but I can't sleep and I just feel frustrated. I don't think there's much else going on
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>>16423593
Well then wait until your plans and see how she acts.
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>>16423565
Have you considered complimenting her on the weight loss and the costume. You could even point out what she did with the costume. It's gonna sound a bit like you're just interested in her now that she lost some weight but it's a risk you gotta take.

>Hey great job with losing some weight(, you look great.)
>btw I love what you did with x and your halloween costume ;)
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>>16423584
Made moves on her but she left for college. Now I see her sending emojiis and posting on Snapchat with a guy she's sleeping with. I met him at a party once and he's weird. Just kind of crushes me inside and I feel like there's something wrong with me that this guy 1uped me on
>>
>>16423594
>>16423600
Yeah, that's kind of what I intended on doing.

She's a cosplayer and her costume was actually worn to a convention that happened to take place on halloween, so it's not unlikely that she'll actually be wearing it or something similar if/when I run into her.

Actually pointing out what I like about the costume might be a pretty bad idea though, it's a pretty pervy detail to bring up.
>>
>>16423611
>Actually pointing out what I like about the costume might be a pretty bad idea though, it's a pretty pervy detail to bring up.
That's why I recommended keeping it generic. Compliment her on the costume she's wearing at the time, but I wouldn't make comments on her body or bring up the Halloween costume.

Would you be willing to date her? Or do you just want sex?
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>>16423597

i worded it badly, I just mean it's good you're not normally bugged by it and you have legitimate claim to be if he's doing it on days he knows you're going to see each other.

How long have you guys been going out? I'm guessing your sex life getting crappier corresponds to school starting (which makes sense)? Has anything else in his behavior changed aside from him just being more tired?

I.E. Has he always been this way? It makes sense if he always has; but if he used to go the extra mile to make sure you were pleasured, and then suddenly stopped, that change in behavior is a serious red flag.

If just that's how he's always been, he's just being kind of a dick for jerking it on a day he knew you were going to meet.
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>>16423613
I would be, but it's not practical because she lives 400mi away. (I'm in LA, she's near SF.) She's also quite a bit younger than I am, not enough to make sleeping together particularly creepy but a point where dating would be kind of weird.
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>>16423623
Well in that case, don't get your hopes up about anything. I'm not saying that nothing will happen, but you shouldn't expect it
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