So 99.9% of women I know or have even met seem to hate metal. Whenever I ask them why, they usually just say it's too "angry".

Is this really such an issue? I always suspected there was more to it but didnt push the topic.

>>16411402
A guy's music taste isn't really a big deal to me, as long as he doesn't play it around me

>>16411417
That wasnt quite what I was getting at. I have some more mainstream music that I play when friends and family are around.

>>16411421
What are you getting at then?

>>16411423
The fact they always say its "too angry". It always seemed a bit silly to me, and I imagined there was more to it.

>>16411430
I don't think so. The tone of metal is angry, that's really all there is to it

Hey, women, how do you feel about polyamory?

It appears regularly around my neighborhood (Specifically, this one guy had literally 3 girlfriends, and they are all comfy around each other). Of course, this makes me feel uncomfy to look at that.

On the other hand, it made monogamy looks kinda boring.

It looks fun, but monogamy looks more stable, from a man's opinion, anyway.

>>16411451
Nothing about it appeals to me in any way.

>>16411366
Hey women, are muscular men more attractive than men who are merely fit? Not like crazy body builder vein monsters, but bulging muscles vs. A guy with nice arms and no gut.

>>16411402
"Metal" is a pretty broad genre. I hate about 90% of it. But that other 10% is some of my favourite music.

It's not all angry, but some of it can be. I mean, people are yelling and screaming and banging the drums real fast, if anything 'angry' is putting it delicately.

>>16411457
I prefer the latter over the former.

Hey Wimmin,

You honestly like a guy as a friend, he asks you out and you deny him that and let him know you like him as a friend, he basically says goodbye respectfully and no longer initiates contact with you... How do you feel?

>>16411451
I'm completely monogamous

>>16411461
Thanks. Any questions for men? I'm quite insightful and have been a man my entire life.

>>16411472
If I did, I would have posted them already.

>>16411457
It depends. But I would say muscles are more attractive. The trick is having enough body fat to look like you're actually strong and not a faggot who spends all day at the gym so you can go home and jack off into the mirror.

>be married for four years
>we have a two year old
>wife mentions having more children
>say I don't want anymore children
>argument.mp4
>her: I'm having another child with or without you.

Should I leave her?

>>16411466
Very sad

>>16411477
I sort of feel bad for you. Goodnight /adv/

>>16411481
If one argument like that is enough to make you consider leaving her, it's only a matter of time before your marriage breaks down.

>>16411481
This wasn't discussed before marriage?

Also, whatever decision you make now should be based on what's best for your child. The best thing for a child is a happy, stable, loving relationship between the parents. You do whatever you can to make that happen.

when I tried to approach women, I got no interest.

now that I dont do it, I get interest from several.

what the fuck happened? is it cause I got in slightly better shape? I lift regularly but it still makes no sense.

>>16411366
Let's begin with the first of the male physical insecurity posts:

I have major red stretch marks across my back and glute and a few dots of minor, spread out atrophic scaring. Does this affect my physical attractiveness in any way?

Also, hairy nipples with bald chest.

>>16411487
Nobody talks like that. Nobody says "I'm having another child with or without you." That's so horrible. Why are you trying to make him feel bad.

>>16411496
Are you saying it's reasonable to be seriously considering divorce after one argument?

>>16411496
He could have said worse that prompted a response like that.

There's 2 sides to a story.

Guys, do you often get bellybutton lint? My boyfriend gets it a lot, is this common among guys?

>>16411506
never in my life

>>16411498
Yes. People make mistakes. He's clearly married some sort of latent sociopath.

>>16411501
not on 4chan

This is a question for both genders, do you treat men with facial hair differently? After getting out of the service I grew a Meg that I keep in a "semi-professional" length, and people treat me differently in the two years I've been out.

And by no means am naturally very threatening to look at, as I clock in at a whole 5'4" and a buck forty to call my weight, yet people tell me I look aggressive and hard despite getting to know me as being respectful and easy going.

Tomorrow's halloween, and I don't have any plans because my friends are all lame.

Where do single girls go on halloween?

>>16411506
Every now and then.

>>16411519
What's a meg?

>>16411523
Basically what most people would call a goatee now a days. My mustache meets my my chin, and I keep it all the same length. I just keep it between 3~4 inches.

>>16411506
It depends on how strong the hairs are on his stomach and chest, as that is the way lint gets in there. All the little hairs point in that direction.

>>16411402
This. One girl at work told me it was gross. She liked Ed Sheeran, Mumford & Sons and Taylor Swift. I ridiculed her because she was seeing them all live. I think she probably was genuinely offended and maybe dislikes me a bit now. I'm not even a metalhead, but some genres I like.

>>16411481
This is why marriages fail so quickly. You both need to sit down (preferably both in happy moods) and have a proper mature discussion about it.

>>16411506
Rarely. Depends on the clothing I guess.

>>16411402
Metal generally isn't for everyone. I guess most girls are into more "sensitive" or friendly genres like pop.

I'm a girl who likes a lot of metal subgenres etc etc, and I'm the only one in my circle of friends who listens to it. It's reslly just a matter of taste, regardless of gender.

>>16411466
Sad especially if we were good friends prior. Also a bit annoyed because why end a friendship when you can just accept that a relationship isn't going to happen? I know it'll be tough as hell, but if you enjoy their company before, why not just keep them in your life?

>>16411459
Sturgeon's Law!

>>16411490
Women can tell when you're trying too hard with a single look. Now you're not trying too hard and thus appear more attractive as you're not coming across as desperate.

When the girl I'm dating and I first met as classmates, she was almost devoted. We had great fun that way, and she seemed really into me. We only shared one class, but we'd seek each other out inbetween classes all the time and met outside of school as well.
Then she met another classmate who shared every class with her, and they started hanging around each other all day. No need to seek each other out, since they were already together. She still liked me being around her and now it was the three of us most of the time, but it's slowly been building down. The guy's very similar to me. He talks like me, he mostly thinks like me, but he's unkempt, overweight and withdrawn.

Nowadays this girl's less eager to tell me anything. Anything that comes up in her life, she most likely told that guy already. At the last moment as an afterthought, she tells me something she had been planning to do, while they had been brainstorming it for two full days. That kind of thing. I feel like I'm being replaced. I don't think she's interested in the guy and it's probably not fair to blame him for this, but he's been taking all the time and interactions we have together. She also shot me down twice for future dates now, and with how distant and matter-of-fact she's been lately, I get the feeling she's going to cancel the one she had planned way in advance.

Girls, do you hate to tell the same thing twice to different people? Do you think she's really 'replacing' me?

Either gender, how do you take heartbreak?

I get the feeling that the girl I've been going out with for a while wants to drop me entirely. Ever since that first thought I feel exhausted, my pulse is racing all day, I'm anxious, my stomach stings with pain, and I can't keep any food down for long all week now.

Is this normal for heartbreak, or should I worry something's up with unfortunate timing?

>>16411466
>initiates
it just of the meaning as he says good bye, so he doesn't hope you as a special girlfriends.

>>16411827
Like, you're worrying if you might have medical issues?
Because it sounds mostly normal, a bit excessive.
Get it checked out with your general practitioner anyways.
Mild panic attacks and depression have a similar cure, force yourself to go do stuff, distract yourself.
Doesn't have to be fun, you can suddenly get mad productive.
Also, for the love of god ask her if that is really the case.
Without communication the relationship is doomed to fail regardless, and if things are heading the wrong way you absolutely need closure.

>>16411812
Yes. She is replacing you.

>Have a crush on a guy
>We're in the same program at uni
>Usually meet at a boardgame club
>We don't usually talk a lot because I'm shy
>He's a very social and good looking guy and could probably get a much more attractive girl than me
>My only trump card is that I like the same nerdy stuff he does

I'm pretty sure that if he liked me, he would have made a move - he doesn't at all seem like he'd get shy or nervous, which I guess means he doesn't. So is there any way to, IDK, seduce someone not originally interested, or should I just give up and move on?

>>16411827
You may be loosing your charm when you immersed in love too long term.

Broken heart is sometime suddenly happen for everyone,
You do not need to overcome it forcedly, because if your love is so thick, it takes long term to heal your mind.

If you find a cozy space, please preoccupation at there.
It'll save your hard feeling from suffering.

Hey, male anon.

I look normal, have a good job/future, etc, but I'm still a virgin at 22. The reason is that only asian girls have ever shown the least bit of interest. I'm not attracted to them at all.

Is there a reason why only asian girls would interested in me?

>>16411848
You will never know playing the waiting game. Take initiative and ask him out

>>16411887
I don't know, I've never had anything good come from asking a guy out actually. Most seem to get really turned off by that.

I like a girl in my math class and got her number. all we talk about is the class and tests. how do i go from just texting/talking about class to being friends with her?

>>16411949
You can start by asking casual questions, like how was your weekend, what did you do, and try to find common interests from that information.

I've been dating this girl for less than a month and she invited me to her birthday. I got her a nice little ewok plushie, gonna buy her chocolate and I'm thinking of making her an origami cat as a handmade gift since she loves cats. Do you think that's a present that shows affection but isn't too affectionate?

>>16411402
i think it's a cultural thing, too.... in eastern europe it's perfectly normal for girls to like metal, but then you leave that area, and suddenly it's whoa weird.

>>16412103
Give her the first two, and when your alone together give her the cat, I think most girls wouldn't mind, just don't get creepy about it, spout some love dovey romantic shit

>>16411887
guys always recommend that, but when i actually do it, it always fails...
not complaining too much, cause the waiting game works for me perfectly, just fyi.

My gf is 23, but for some reason has always tried to avoid information about sex. She's never masturbated and hadn't done anything sexual with a guy until she met me. I've touched her cunt a few times and she gets wet, moans, etc., but she says it feels "weird" and "scary" and that she doesn't like it. She touches my dick quite a lot, but I'd prefer for it to be a mutual thing.

I'm not sure what to do. I really like her and most other aspects of the relationship are great. We've been together about 6 months. I can certainly wait for things to get more intimate, but she once told me a story about a couple who didn't have sex for 3 years and then broke up because the girl felt like the guy was pressuring her. I'd rather not wait 3 years.

>>16412234
I'd say maybe suggest getting her to some sort of sexual therapist (on her own or as a couple) so she can explore why she's so off-put by it.
I'm not sure. It's a really tricky situation you're in. I can't think of any way for you to judge how long it's going to take without her potentially feeling pressured.

Perhaps have an extended period of intimacy with her that doesn't involve touching genitals, just being close together and naked, used to each other's bodies? Treat her to a nice dinner then follow it up with an oily massage? That sort of thing.

GF wants me to stop doing nice things for her because she feels bad she can't afford the time or money to do the same for me. I told her that she's always making as much time as possible for me, despite how hard it must be for her, and that's worth the world to me. She won't listen to me though.

Any advice?

>>16412240
Thanks for the reply. I think the therapist idea is a bit too extreme and I don't think she'd agree to it right now, but maybe further down the line.
Your second idea sounds good though. I have a tendency to get excited and turn things sexual when we're cuddling in bed for a long time, so I should dial back on that.

>>16411874
Generally when it seems like one race is particularly interested in you it means you are either treating them different or something about you is appealing to the culture most of them follow.

Or maybe you look like some kind of yaoi character and they dig it. Who knows?

>>16412256
Definitely. The therapist thing was just the first thought that came to my head. In hindsight I think that just getting used to and enjoying being intimate with her without her having to assume you're trying to have sex is good. Self control is easier than you might think, even when you have a raging hard-on. You'll have to teach yourself that bit, but there are lots of guides online for non-sexual, sexy intimacy. Just have a look around.
Good luck.

>>16411907
Maybe really good looking guys don't like it. But average guys like me (I hope I'm average) really dig when a girl shows interest. Just start slow like asking him to accompany you somewhere. Or a concert or something

>>16411907
Asking a guy out is not a turn off. You on the other hand, might be.

Girls, what are some telltale signs you recognize that show someone is sperging out, rather than be uninterested?

>>16411366
OK ladies, suppose you're dating a guy and things are going well. The current sex life is relatively "normal" with positions such as missionary and whatever. What if he wants to try different things such as a rimjob (for him or you) or domination (for him or you)? Would you do it? If so, why? Would you not do it? If so, why? I can't speak for all guys but I imagine our sex drives can get pretty wild if given an opportunity but what about girls? Do you want to experiment with fetishes? Also, Happy Halloween.

>>16411907

as a guy, women don't listen to this comment pls

nothing turns me on more than a girl that knows what she wants. fuck the norm, you dont need to be passive.

I am socially awkward, but thats not why I'm here
I asked the girl to the ball (prom, whatever)
She said yes
I have her number
I talk to her almost every day
The problem is, I'm getting really mixed messages from her, sometimes she seems interested in me, further than just a friend to go to the ball with, sometimes she doesn't. What can I do to figure it out for sure?

>>16411907
I've lost count of the number of dates I've had with women who asked me out. Half of the long-term relationships I've ever been in started exactly like that. I can't speak for all guys or even "most" but there's one pretty substantial data point for you.

>>16412418
try to fuck her

Guys and girls and other-gendered folks,
How do you feel about the idea of polyamory? If your previously monogamous partner wanted to try it, how would you feel?

>>16412523
I would dump the partner. I have no problem with group sex if no relationship, but if a relationship is occurring that is not the place for it.

this girl I see on Wednesday evenings in band practice always gives me this deer-in-headlights look to me and her face really brightens and she says hi and asks how I am and we talk for a couple mins at break. She seems quite nervous though when she talks to me but english isn't her first language so I'm not sure if she's spaghetting because she's at a loss for words because she's still getting used to speaking english or if she actually likes me because I am planning on doing SOMETHING soon before I fucking explode with anxiety and have a breakdown. At least I'd like to make it clear to her I like her without just being heavy handed and telling her like a sperg that she needs to hang out with just me somewhere.

Also, is it true that asking someone to coffee in Europe is like full blown date proposal?

>>16412540
No, I have had coffee with girls like I would just a regular friend.

Girl here. I have met a new friend. He's really nice to me, buys me stuff, "accidentally" touches me, casually mentions how he's single around me etc. Now even I can see he's into me and I'm interested as well, but the problem is I'm in my twenties and I'm a virgin. He probably doesn't expect that since a) it's kind of like finding a unicorn where I live, b) I appear to be - and am - very sociable/outgoing/talkative. My issue is, will this be awkward? Are guys generally disappointed their girlfriends aren't experienced enough or will he be glad he's my first? I kind of feel like my age is making this really weird and I'm insecure about it.

>>16412556
We can't read his mind. Only one way to find out.

Chances are good that he'll at the very least be flattered to be your first.

>>16412556
he will be disgusted and cut his dick off after he finds out.

if you are 20 and virgin something is wrong with you.

>>16411366
Ladies what do you think of a young guy (24) who has noticeable gray head hair? I haven't ever thought about it until today because I have a date on Monday. Its only noticeable because I haven't cut my hair in 6 months and my profile photos don't have me with longer hair.

I'm probably worrying about nothing. Besides I learned after growing my hair that is really wavy, which is just like hers. So she won't mind. I'm just a bit nervous since I haven't been on a one-to-one date for like 4 years.

Girls, how important is penis size in a relationship? I am 7.3 inches long and 5.9 thick, but I am a bit overweight (not obese but like bmi 28 and built like a brick shithouse), is that good enough? (Dead serious).

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>>16411791
>I know it'll be tough as hell, but if you enjoy their company before, why not just keep them in your life?
Assuming he acts on it quickly, it's easy to get over it. But if he let it simmer, I wouldnt be surprised if he has put way more meaning into it than you'd expect and is easier said than done.

Just another reason to make your intentions clear from the get go.

>>16412174
>when i actually do it, it always fails...
Spoiler, dating is a numbers game. Every time you ask someone out, there's a good chance you'll get rejected. For every girl I really enjoy, I probably went through 3 or 4 where I wanted to walk out on the first date and many more that said no from the get go.

Learn to get over it or keep hoping the guy will notice your "signs".

>>16412523
Hurt, and I'd move on. Leave me out of it, poly people are like the new vegans with the way they keep going on about how monogamy is dead more often than not.

>>16411402
I think you just need to get used to it. When I was a teenager my friends all loved metal and I listened to and enjoyed some bands as well. I can still get into it with the right mindset, but if you were to put it on without warning I'd probably cover my ears on impulse. It is loud and it often does sound angry and I feel that until you actually know the music better and have learned to appreciate it, that's pretty much all you hear. Like how wine just tastes sour and coffee bitter and that's it if you haven't grown to appreciate them.

>>16411451
Zero interest. I feel that if there is one area in your life in which you need to go with quality over quantity, it's love. Besides, there is a certain intimacy in exclusivity by itself. It's not a compliment for nothing to tell someone "I only do this with you" or "I haven't told this to anyone else". If you have multiple partners that takes away that element of having one special connection in your life that is like a secret shared with one soul.

Not to mention I just don't really see the point. There are lots of attractive people, yes, but if you have five girlfriends/boyfriends you still only fuck 0.000001% or something of humanity. You don't "solve" this with having more relationships. And if they use the whole "but you can connect with so many people" argument... it sounds romantic, but it really is pretty shallow and lame, because it implies that you cannot emotionally connect with someone and be inspired by them if your genitals never touch.
It also seems to cause so much more new issues and problems than it solves. Who do you take home for Christmas? What if you want children? Are they all fine with having a less active sex life than you because you are worn out from all your partners? It's also one thing to not be jealous by the bare fact that your partner has other relationships, it's another to not be jealous when they have five partners and you are sitting around waiting for your turn.

>>16411457
I don't like bulging muscles in general.

>>16411466
Sorry, but I'd understand.

>>16411481
If she stands by this and it wasn't an angry lashing out in the heat of the moment she now regrets, I'd understand you want to leave.

>>16411490
You looked more relaxed and probably (partly) caught the eye of the kind of girls who get so nervous when they get explicit attention that they knee jerk want to get away from the situation and just shoot you down.

>>16411495
Your aesthetic appeal, sure. Attractiveness, no. They will fade in time anyway and it's not really an issue - but of course, if given the choice most people would say flawless skin looks better. Doesn't mean they give a fuck. I personally also think some faded stretchmarks make a guy look more attractive than none at all. Makes it more "real"... which might be weird to say about a real person, but I'm sure you get what I mean.
Everyone has hairy nipples, it doesn't matter.

>>16412662
Some girls will care, some won't. But as females care about the little things you might want to do something about it.

>>16411812
She definitely changed your mind about you but the thing about "hating to tell things twice" is pretty insane. Not like it's a static experience where you bring your message and it's received. Telling someone you have a crush on something is a different world from telling a platonic acquaintance something.

>>16411827
I take it quite badly (not in the sense of dropping everything in life but just really, really prolonged grieving, theorizing about what went wrong, angry arguing in my head, writing soppy heartbroken letters I'll never send etc) but don't have physical reactions that are as strong. It does not sound alarming to me, though, if it doesn't continue forever... the things you mentioned are pretty normal indicators of stress and anxiety.

>>16412234
Bring up the story. Ask her if she can emphatize with the girl. Use it as a way to get into a serious conversation about both your feelings on this. It's important to know whether she feels anxious about sex or all around kind of repulsed by it, for example.

>>16412251
Keep it small money-wise (eg a rose or card with a sweet message on it instead of bigger gifts) but keep being attentive with your time. You (hopefully) also get enjoyment out of doing this and she can't dictate it, but you can't expect her to not feel guilty if you treat her to material things all the time.

>>16412376
Thanks! Sure. I have been rimmed and told that partner that I was interested in returning the favor, he was mildly intrigued but ultimately too uncomfortable with the idea psychologically. It's not even a really big thing of mine and I wasn't too disappointed he passed, but I wanted to because it's very intimate and felt primal, like having them feel there's no part of their body you'll shy away from. Also the idea of getting to hear/see someone's reactions when they experience a completely new type of physical enjoment.
Would also be happy to try domination as long as he wanted to actually try it and not make it the new dynamic in our sex life.

I have plenty of fantasies. I'd love to try pegging, having a guy drink from my breasts, bondage, voyeurism, sex on MDMA, sex outside, would kind of like to try mild watersports (not in the pissing on someone sense but more having a really full bladder and having someone tease you with that, watching you squirm if he pressed on it a bit etc), pregnancy sex IS a huge fantasy of mine... and I love stuffing (overeating, not so much on myself but on others) and would love to first pamper a lover with homemade food and then spoil him after he's oversatisfied and burping and all. Also interested in trying stuff with hypnotism roleplay and tantra. I probably forgot some still. Right, maybe not so related to the rest but I'd love to eat someone's pussy before I die.

>>16412523
Break up because of incompatibility. See >>16412848

So I'm new to relationships and for when it comes to touching girls when in a relationship, do I just go for it, and see if she is fine with it, or slowly move my hand to let's see her breast, or do I just do the retard thing and ask her?

tldr; How do I know when, and what I can grab?

>>16412877
>I'd love to try pegging
Oh no

He'll be here any second now

>>16412677
You are being absolutely ridiculous. 5-5.5" is average and most men still get in relationships throughout their life. It's not "good enough", it's very big anywhere outside of the porn industry.

>>16412887
I didn't want to sound like a dick, but i wondered if it was too big.

Anyone:
Do people in their 20s hook up in cars?

How would I initiate that sort of thing with someone at a club?

im a boy btw

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Question for the ladies here:

Do you guys jerk off to and fantasize about guys you know in real life, or is it mostly just general fantasies or what? I'm just curious how it works for you guys.

>>16412894
Completely depends on the women. Vaginas vary in size just like penises do, there is just no easy way to measure them (or even have a general idea of what your own is like in this regard... doesn't help that if you're not aroused it's way less long) so people tend to kind of forget this. But vaginas differ as much from one another as penises do (and like with penises, there isn't a significant link between height/build and genital size). For some women, yeah, it'll be too big. It won't fit in their mouth comfortably and/or you will hit their cervix in their favorite positions and/or it'll be doable but you can't go ballsdeep and always have to be mindful of not going too far. For others, it will be great. Some women even enjoy the sensation of having their cervix hit. Some women want to feel "stretched out" and miss that sensation if they're with smaller/less thick partners. Plenty of women go crazy over the visual aspect of a big penis. It really is just a matter of finding the right fit for you. No guy has the ideal penis for every single woman out there.

I've noticed a trend of females hiding their sexual past for fear of judgment. Don't females realize guys go through this too? Alpha douches don't mind sharing if it's part of their emotional manipulation game, but as a "regular" guy I don't like bringing up past fucks because the girls I attract are the jealous type.

Maybe this is more a PSA and less a question.

TL:DR Males & Females are both jealous af, so don't be ashamed of the past.

>>16412897
I don't think this is common. Not certain at all though, just haven't really heard of it being a thing.

>>16412908
Either someone I know in real life or a general fantasy where I imagine that my eyes are closed and I just focus on the tactile sensations, breathing etc, not who it is or how they look. I very very rarely fantasize about fictional people but even then it's way more about their type (eg someone older with a certain bodytype) than picturing a face or a very specific body, more the "vibe" you'd get. These fantasies are mostly fleeting and not things I dwell on.

I don't just masturbate on people I find attractive looking, though. I need more than that to be able to get off on someone. How it feels to hug them, how they smell... mostly I need to either have been physically close enough to have an idea of their scent and body, or they are so flirty with me that I can vividly imagine the kind of sexual dynamic we'd have or how he would react etc. I can't just come to someone's looks/body in a sexual situation.

>>16412908
No, never. I don't self-insert, either. I make up two fictional characters based on my preferences, though honestly most of the time I don't imagine the guy at all. It's more about what the girl's doing/what's happening to the girl.

>>16412916
Eh, it's still different though. Women are jealous of a past lover being better or her partner having been attracted to someone else, but I've never in real life and only once online heard a woman speak about the physical aspect of this with the flat disgust men talk about women who are experienced all the time. In my language there's a word for women who have had a lot of partners that roughly translates to a piece of food that someone else has slobbered and drooled all over. That is pretty daunting and men (not that they should) don't face sentiments that extreme typically.

>>16412881
>>16412881
>>16412881
Anyone?

>>16412923
If a guy brought it up, would you be averse to the idea?
(assuming of course that you're into him)

>>16412960
I don't think I'm the right person to answer because I've never done physical things with someone I didn't know well (I took your question to be read in a hook up context, that is) so it is hard for me to judge. It seems uncomfortable though, even in a roomy car... I almost wanted to say that you could drive her somewhere quiet where you can just lie in the grass, but if you are thinking of a one night stand thing most sensible women would of course not be crazy about that taking a drive with the stranger part. If it's any consolation, if this was the scenario you had in mind the girl in question would probably be pretty drunk and very horny, though, not like she'll go to a checklist of seeing if you are still worthy.

>>16412958
For the first time? Go slow, gauge her reactions, work your way up to it. After you are comfortable being naked and sexual together it should be fine to just grope her/slap her on the ass as long as you also touch and cuddle her non-sexually regularly enough.

Is it possible if you ladies intimate to your significant other at the time of a break-up belief in eternal love of some kind of belief in getting back together that it means there is a desire to get back together eventually?

My fiance left me, and the feelings for her have only grown. I've probably already fucked things up too much to fix it.

>>16412971
Of course it is technically possible that she wants to (now or some other time), but that's not of much help to you... no one can tell you how she feels about you or what's going through her head.

>>16412935
>Women are jealous of a past lover being better or her partner having been attracted to someone else
That's a very real concern for men too you know. Half of the reason so many men are insecure about their dicks is they're afraid they won't measure up to an ex.

>>16412991
I didn't mean to suggest it was exclusive to women, just that women are from my experience and observations 95% of the time more concerned with these thoughts than with actually having negative emotions about the bare fact that she's not his first. Which the majority of the men I have talked to and known in real life and online have been open and vocal about.

>>16412971
If I believed we were 'stuck together' like that, I wouldn't have left in the first place

>>16412916
Idk about you, but most guys who have extensive sexual histories don't need to say anything, you can just tell from their personality and how they act

>>16412897
Never done it, but I guess that sort of thing would be okay at parties? Probably not after clubbing or something. Let me guess, you live at home and don't want to bring girls back?

>>16412677
Too big, no thanks. Also I don't think I could date a guy who rounds his penis measurements to the nearest tenth of an inch

>>16412523
No. Just no. It'd probably lead to the breakdown of our relationship if my partner was previously monogamous

>>16412376
Depends on what he wants to try. I'm not comfortable with everything

>>16412103
I say the first two are enough.

>>16411949
Ask questions about not-school

Me and my girlfriend have been together for four years. I've been considering marraige lately, because I really can't see myself with anyone else. She's pretty much perfect for me. [spoiler]So, just take that in to consideration before giving harsh advice, as some people tend to do when this sort've thing comes up.[/spoiler]

She works in retail, and often gets harassed by guys. She says that about once a day, that a guy comes up to her and tries to hit on her, or says something really stupid and sexist. She says that when this happens, she goes into the break room and waits for them to leave, and that she doesn't want to say anything that will cause a scene.

I've given her some advice, telling her to get these customer's names or to tell her boss that she is being harassed, but she says that she's afraid that if she makes a ruckus at the workplace every time this happens, that her boss or coworkers will start to get tired of it (Which I guess is understandable). This hasn't really been a big problem until here recently, where she has decided to post on facebook every time it happens. As her significant other, I feel really awkward and torn, because on one hand, I want to defend her and give her advice, on the other I don't want it to look like I'm bothered by this to a degree that I'm making a scene on her facebook.

Also, is she just doing this for attention? Why is she posting this on facebook? Is she testing me to see how I'll react?

>>16412908
Before my boyfriend I was exactly like >>16412926
>No, never. I don't self-insert, either. I make up two fictional characters based on my preferences

But now I think pretty much exclusively of my bf.

>>16412523
Instant breakup

>>16412376
I made sure to discuss all kinks, preferences, limits, turn ons, and turn offs before entering my relationship. My partner and I knew beforehand we were very compatible in that area.

>>16413072
If you've given her all the advice you can, there's not much else you can do. Just let her vent every now and then.

>Also, is she just doing this for attention? Why is she posting this on facebook? Is she testing me to see how I'll react?
She's venting. Other girls may have experienced the same thing, and so they can relate and provide sympathy and advice that you can't because you haven't been in their shoes. There's almost definitely no malicious intent there.

Guys
Those of you without girlfriends who want one
>Do you think having a girlfriend will improve your life?
>How? How not?

Those of you with girlfriends
>Has having a girlfriend improved your life?
>If so, how? If not, why not?

>>16413128
Actually, after observing a few more posts from her friends, I can definitely see you're right.

The minds of women are truly alien.

>>16413145
Bit of advice: if you're seriously thinking of marrying this woman, don't jump to conclusions about her behaviour like that. You won't have a happy marriage if you're constantly thinking that everything she does is to piss you off or to test you.

>>16413142
Guy with girlfriend, here.

I like my significant other because it means I have someone to come home to. We share everything together, and we have a lot in common. Once we got more developed as a couple, I wasn't afraid to express myself honestly, and now I have someone that I can share anything with.

The benefits or "penalties" of every relationship are as diverse as the people you could date.

Sex is great, too.

I've had 32 sexual partners in my life, and 7 were actual relationships. I preferred the relationships to the flings.

>>16413146
I appreciate that. Thanks.

I'd been looking for some advice on this and I wasn't finding it anywhere else. /adv/ delivers.

>>16413145
>Wanting to vent about frustrations to people who can sympathize with them is "truly alien"

You're a stupid cunt.

i met this girl, last month or so who is my roommates sister, we've met a few times, through random events, like goin back to dorm with train and tram together or a birthday of somebody, and we've been talking nicely (joking a lot), i tought i should give it a shot and ask her out.
So i did, but the reactions wasnt the ones i tought will be. first asked if she want to come next week, she said she will be too busy whole week, i tought whatever, it might be true, than i ask, if the week after it will be good, she said that she doesnt know yet, but she is in, and asked the next thing: it will be a friendly meeting, right, because she got in the past misunderstood meetings like this, im like wtf and said: didnt expect that, but sure i just want to drink something and talk with her, so she agreed to the meeting, but she left to "study", i was a bit sceptical at that part (sat 19:00, sure, whatever) and havent got any specific day that will be good for her, just: we will meet up, so i only know that she will be busy this week, but still dont know what about next week.
Is this fucked already or is it possible to make something happen sometimes in the future.
i planned to write to her at the end of the week or so, to ask a specific date, but im worried a bit that i will get the same response.

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>>16413142
>Do you think having a girlfriend will improve your life?
It won't fundamentally change things, but it would be nice to have someone I can talk to on a close level on a regular basis, among other things. But if you already dislike your life, it won't do shit for that.

>>16413164
I can understand his perspective. I only bring up problems to friends if I'm trying to figure out how to approach it. Talking about it for its own sake is displeasing to me.

>>16413171
I don't do that shit either but I can empathize with it and understand why someone else would. It's not an "alien" concept unless you're fucking autistic.

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I seem to be extremely unattractive to women. I mean, not replusive, but they just don't seem to be attracted to me. I got cheated on by my first gf (I'm 24) with a guy who's name she didn't know when they had sex a few minutes after they met. Girls just don't seem to have passion for me at all, i've never had anyone kiss me after meeting me, or even flirt with me at all? My life is, well, a misery, but it hasn't always been a misery, this weighs heavily on my mind.

Girls honestly, is there much I can do about this? Can I go from a guy who is sexually non-existent to the kind of guy girls cheat on their boyfriends with (Not that i'd go with that, i mean this metaphorically) after meeting them a second earlier? Please be honest. If its about my looks, then isn't that admitting superficiality? I've always been told by women, my friends, girlfriends etc, that they go mainly for personality. Further, if it is looks, why don't you fight against it? If you know superficiality is bad, you must thereof feel obligation not to engage in it? i actually feel geninuely so depressed and cofnsued by all of this

>>16411366

Guys

Is there any way I can help make you less nervous on dates?
>inb4 blowjobs
I try my best to make the situation easy, I understand it can be nerve wracking. But I went on a date with a really sweet guy the other day but he was so nervous he was shaking. We usually have really great easy conversations over the phone but it was obvious being in person was getting to him.
It's hard to make conversation because some guys just tend to shut down from the anxiety and i'm sure they're great guys but it's hard to keep interested.

>>16413164
There's no need to be sexist. "Alien" isn't bad. Just different and foreign, which I can appreciate.

When women "vent" in this way, it seems very shallow and conceited. I'm not saying that it is shallow, I'm saying that it seems that way. Women also have a tendency to hand themselves backhanded compliments like, "Oh it's so hard being attractive and having all these men come on to me" or "Oh my tits are so big that they hurt my back. Gosh look how huge they are."

My girlfriend does both. Sure, her back may really hurt or it may be hard being attractive, but when a guy talks like that, we all call him out on it.

"God, it's so hard having such a big dock and fucking all these girls."

>>16413193
>There's no need to be sexist
You're the one being sexist.

I just found your comment retarded. Sex doesn't factor into it.

>>16413181
From my personal experience, if you just verbalize your interest, it should be enough. It may come across as too direct or creepy to women, but of you tell a guy that you have a genuine interest in him in the middle of a date, then it takes a little of the edge off. Maybe even encourage him by telling him when he does or says something you like.

God, I always get shaky on first dates. Sometimes I don't even feel nervous, but I notice I'm shaking.

>>16413196
Oh.

>>16413154

Dude
>>16413179
here

PLEASE HELP ME? It seems like the, I don't know how to even begin. Your post made me start crying ffs. 32 sexual partners? How? How? I feel i'm a retard attending harvard university, every single day of my life. How do you do it? Why can't I even get, I don't know, flirting? a smile? Arghhh

>>16413179
>My life is, well, a misery, but it hasn't always been a misery
So you've been able to attract women before. You had a girlfriend and all. But you still came to the conclusion that it's your looks.
>If you know superficiality is bad, you must thereof feel obligation not to engage in it?
The world doesn't exist in absolutes. The more attractive you are, the less magnetizing personality you need. You need a whole lot of one or the other to be the kind of person to get sudden makeout sessions. For someone who's bitching about superficiality, you seem like the kind of person who would cheat if given the option.

I'm not a grill, but you're being such a whiny bitch that you count as the opposite gender.

>>16413209
>Why can't I even get, I don't know, flirting? a smile? Arghhh
This is one of those things that can't be diagnosed over the internet. There's a good chance that your IRL friends and girlfriends have pointed out some of your flaws that you can work on.

If it's any consolation, a lot of sexual/economic success has to do with taking advantage of an opportunity. You've likely had more chances than you realize to take a girl home.

>>16413193
What is either shallow or conceited about venting about being approached in an unpleasant manner while working your job? Unless you mean doing it on facebook, in case you have a generation problem because then so many things people throw online are no different.

You start out by saying alien wasn't meant negative and that you can appreciate it, only to continue to defend why knowing your girlfriend, it is most likely that she is fishing for attention or humblebragging and not having a sincere, understandable or even just neutral goal. Whether you just hold her in very low esteem (also consider your first thought was that she was trying to fuck with your head by posting this for also you to see) or she really IS such a shitty person that you can constantly count on her drawing attention to herself in the least obnoxious way as socially possible, I'd say both are worth reflecting upon if this is someone you see yourself marrying some day.

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fembots: how hard is it to differentiate between guys that are too nervous to make an advance, and guys that just aren't interested romantically

If I just play it cool and don't go full sperg mode, can i camouflage as someone who doesn't think you're cute af

>>16413178
>It's not an "alien" concept unless you're fucking autistic.
/adv/ is a bully free zone, watch your language mister

>>16413181
I'd only really feel nervous unless I felt like you were looking judging me for whatever reason. Like going "oh" and then acting uncomfortable after you ask me about my interests.

Beyond that its mostly going to be on the guys end. If he has any sense he should calm down significantly by the next date or two.

>>16413263
>how hard is it to differentiate between guys that are too nervous to make an advance, and guys that just aren't interested romantically

Why bother differentiating? They may as well be the same thing.

>>16413271
This pretty much

How do you go for a blowjob? Just say it, or hint at it?

>>16413263
Very. Especially a certain kind of shyness... eg he will be overeager to avoid looking at your body so he basically either looks at your face or not at all. Which is the exact same way a guy acts when he is is just not attracted to you at all and wants to avoid giving off the wrong vibe at all costs. Or has a very temperamentful and jealous girlfriend sitting right next to him following his eyeball movements. Either.

Happy women with self respect are not crazy about guys who don't seem attracted to them at all.

>>16413227
Okay, let me express this differently. Because I don't think the tone was conveyed properly through text.

I felt that the concept of venting about something like this was "alien" to me, meaning different and unusual to comprehend. I then realized that the individual that responded to this was probably correct. I then went on to explain what my initial reasoning was, and why that concerned me. However, I realized afterward that it was wrong to think that my girlfriend had ill intent.

The whole reason I even brought this up in /adv/ to discuss with strangers was because I had been having an internal monologue about it for several weeks and was unable to come to a conclusion.

It is important to remember that, in relationships, people are dynamic and they change. Their intentions and actions don't always make immediate sense to us, and their goals are always fluid, even at their best. It may very well be that my gf had intentions of humblebragging, and that's not really a problem. It may also be that I do hold her to "low esteem" as you'd put it. But, I hold her to the same standards and reasoning that I would hold anyone else, and she still comes out being a person I'd want to share my life with. She also knows exactly how I feel, and she'll even be reading this thread later.

>>16413282
The easiest way is to make it a dirty talk request and blurt it out when she's fondling your bulge or grinding on you during foreplay. "I want to feel your mouth on me" etc.

If she's so cramped up, passive, whatever that you feel this is no option at all, initiate a talk about sex at a comfortable non-sexual time and talk about oral sex. If she openly enjoys when you go down on her, tell her how much it turns you on to taste/smell/please her, if she does not, ask her if there's anything you can do to make it more enjoyable for her. Then use that as an intro to asking how she feels about performing it, whether she's done it, if not is she curious etc. The trick is to talk from the angle that it is another fun sex act that not only lots of men but also lots of women love, not already approach it as you asking her a one sided favor.

Actually I just reread your question - did I misunderstand and did you mean to ask how you start one? If so, there are lots of ways that would be very hot for (most) men, like moaning that you want to taste his dick out of the blue during heated foreplay, or doing it as a completely out of the blue surprise while making a show out of unbuttoning him while looking up at him, teasing him by kissing and licking other parts of his body and coming going closer and closer to his dick and so on.

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Men, how will you be be spending your Halloween alone tonight?

Girls, how did you reject the guys this year?

>>16413299
I have no issue with the word alien or you not having thought of the venting angle. It just struck me that all possible motives you had mentioned for your girlfriend referred to a lousy habit or character trait. Even after another poster had framed venting (which CAN be incredibly annoying and self absorbed) in a more positive context to show what someone might get out of this, you still went on to say that to you it appears shallow and conceited.

Whatever, it's your relationship, I have no clue whether you are happy or compatible or whatever and even if that is not the case it is not my business. I was just lurking and it struck me that you seemed to by default assume she must have some at best irksome and at worst mean spirited intention.

>>16412908
I start to fantasize about a guy I know irl, but then sometimes the guy changes along the way. It can be distracting sometimes, but it's also a good thing, cause I get to know who I really like subconsciously.

>>16413072
Let her vent, but also make sure she can vent to you as well. No need to always give advice on how to solve issues, sometimes it's better just to nod and support.

>>16413263
this feels like my biggest problem since i moved countries, really. in the culture where i grew up, it was so easy, guys who were interested just didn't give a fuck and would ask me out no matter what.
and then i'm in this new place, it's like... guys are so shy/cool, it's a really big turnoff. i do start to notice the difference between shy and cool after a year or so, but it's hard. idk i think you could still trick me easily with that camo.

>>16413315
One guy, simple text message that I was not interested in a follow up date. I was too much of a pussy to say it to his face, the date already went pretty fucking terribly but after he kissed me on the mouth after I'd clearly refused twice I was just done and wanted to go home and deal with that mess later.

Girl I like changed how she texts me. Much shorter replies now, sometimes not at all, but her behavior in person is the same and we're watching a movie in her room tomorrow.

What cues should I look for to see I'd she'd be receptive to me making a move? Right now I feel like I'm getting mixed signals, like she pulled back in her affection because I wasn't as interested initially.

>>16413345
Thanks for the response, this is probably going to be the longest interaction someone will let me have with them tonight. What are you doing tonight?

>>16413315
>My classmate just killed herself this week, we weren't good friends, but I don't feel like partying now.

>>16413358
No problem! Nothing interesting, I worked my cashier job (small store so one cash register, need to do all the purchases as well as answering questions etc) all day, made myself a bowl of soup to not feel as hungry anymore when I got home and have been lurking internet since. I should start making more food before I'm too tired and just want to sleep or I'll never clean out my fridge before it goes bad but little motivation.

Very interesting response I'm sure. What about you? What would you like to do that you're not doing?

>>16413315
Trying out some cooking ideas mostly. I had plans but they were cancelled due to the downpour.

How do I let a girl know I'm only looking for a FWB relationship and not an actual relationship?

I went on a date with a girl last week, the girl was really cool but I could never see myself dating her (smokes cigs, dropped out of college, etc). We ended up sleeping together and now she texts me constantly and even refers to me as "babe" (which kind of creeps me out after only one date). How do I go about letting her know that I just want to be FWB?

>>16413402
It's too late for that, you'll have to accept it was a one night stand. How do you ever figure to pull off a FWB-deal when she is already being clingy and mushy after one date and night? You are not on the same page, you need to both be casual about it to have proper casual sex.

>>16413402
>babe
That actually makes me wonder. When does it become appropriate to call someone babe? When you're in an actual relationship is obvious, but is there a time before that?

>>16413402
You tell her. If she accepts it - cool. If she doesn't, then I think it's fair to say that you led her on and she's right to be upset

>>16413328
Sorry, I was just projecting my insecurities on your responses. 4chan tends to do that to everyone, right?

Thank you for your help. I'll give thought and consideration to everything you've said, though.

>>16413424
Sure, no offense taken. It definitely does.

Girls, why do you throw around the word "creepy" so casually?

>>16413461
Because guys that do creepy things are creepy.

Why do guys tend to get so upset when people call them "creepy"? Once you're branded, no one will fuck you. Is that why?

>>16413474
Girls will call a guy creepy for trying to approach them but being socially awkward about it, without actually doing anything sexually predatory.

A guy who is charismatic and handsome can get away with a lot more aggressive behavior and not get called creepy than a guy who is homely and awkward.

>>16413461
Why do you ask?

>>16413481
because the fear of being called creepy makes me afraid to approach women, as I'm socially awkward and bad at flirting/small talk and know most of them will just think I'm creepy.

>>16413474
Being called "creepy" is a signal to us that what we're doing is wrong. If we're deliberately going too far, we know it's wrong and we just don't care then. And that's cool.
Most of the time we're going beyond our comfort zone with no idea what's appropriate. So we're doing things we have never done before in ways we have never done before, and it feels unnatural, but we want to learn. We're called creepy because we haven't been able to learn yet. It doesn't matter whether we go too far or not, we get branded "creepy" anyway. And that's not cool.

>>16413461
What do YOU consider to be actually creepy?

>>16413478
I'm not that gal and actually don't really agree. I think creepy is a pretty hefty insult/accusation.

But you have to realize that other people can't look into your head. And just like shyness can be easily mistaken for arrogance, awkwardness can easily be mistaken for a more eerie type of social "malfunctioning". It is important to remember that from a young age onwards, girls have been socialized in many forms to be on their guard and look after themselves - ranging from parents telling them about "all boys are the same" or "men who hand out candy" to girlfriends commenting on girls who went missing/got killed that they were stupid not to see their fate coming and avoid it, stupid to get in the car with someone, stupid to lose sight of their drink for a moment etc. So there is an awareness that there's a lot at stake, and while of course the incidents where you are actually in danger after rejecting someone are very rare, it is more common for guys to lash out in other ways (trying to verbally hurt you as much as possible, badmouthing you, threatening you) if they get rejected. Every girl who has never experienced this has at least heard the stories and knows this is a possible outcome.

To be continued...

>>16413315
In a fetal position under my blankets, wondering where it all went so wrong.

>>16413515
So that is where the creepfactor comes from, and confidence takes it away. Best example I've come up with so far is this. Imagine you had a one night stand with a woman and are cuddling in the morning, and she lazily rolls closer to you, looks at you with a tilted head and huge grin and in between pecking your face says "yeah - I - tooootally - lied - about - birth - control by the way, you better check that mailbox for when I'm coming for all your money and shit" then looks at you with sparkling eyes. Not creepy at all.
Now imagine that instead she looks at you in a sort of shifty way from a bit where you are, and goes, "h-heh, w-wouldn't it be funny if I actually wasn't on birth control and was pregnant haha". That would freak you out. At least it would make you do a double take and want to get the hell out of there.
The reason for this is that the hesitance and insecurity (more likely to just be, well, insecurity and social awkwardness and lack of comedic timing) makes it seem like she might actually be weird about it because it's true and she feels guilty. Or she's overall deranged and it's showing now.

So basically, although of course some girls are cunts and just make fun of datingwise incompetent guys, it also happens a lot that what to the guy from first person view is obvious overwhelming nerves and infatuation, to her might look like - is his face so weirdly twitchy and blank because he is nervous or because something's off in his head?
This effect is further enhanced because, like in the example where you might have impregnated some random one night stand, the girl in question has a lot to lose and is in a vulnerable position in her own way.

>>16413478
girls call ugly guys creepy as an acceptable byword for repulsive. saying, 'i didnt like him because he was ugly' sounds shallow and mean, whereas 'i didnt like him because he was creepy' sounds a lot more socially acceptable

thats all it is. if you want to prove me wrong, name one creepy attractive guy

>>16413551
this :D

>>16413531
How is a girl in a vulnerable position when a guy asks her out? She has all the power, and can lob frivolous accusations of sexual harassment at him to her heart's content. If you're asking her to go somewhere alone with you, maybe, but it's not like she's gonna get raped and murdered at Starbucks.

What's the point of even trying with women if you're a socially awkward man and competing with scores of guys who intuitively know what they're doing?

Seems markedly better to just buy a wife from Russia--if not simply off yourself.

>>16413565
What's the point of crying about it online?

I was having a conversation with a girl and this another girl that I like was in the same room and noticed we were talking so she entered our conversation and instantly changed it into a inside joke that I have with her, basically blocking the other girl from the conversation. Is it possible she was jealous that I was having a conversation with someone else?

>>16413577
Good point I guess.

>>16413506
I'm still waiting for an answer to this

>>16413565
If you are sincerely socially awkward, actually think it through. You are minding your own business when some complete stranger stops you and makes it apparent that he is interested in you. You have to on the spot evaluate whether you are interested in him physically, he seems trustworthy, he seems like someone you might have something in common with. There is a risk that you are going to have to shoot him down - if you have ever had difficulty telling someone no, imagine when the no isn't about something in your life or something circumstantial but about that person not appealing to you on a personal level.

Sure, some girls are arrogant or very comfortable with these social situations and for them it's powerful. For the average girl with a normal dose of awkwardness and inexperience it is in its own way nerve wrecking.
And as I already mentioned, there's the risk he flips and gets nasty if you tell him no. There is a risk he is not straight forwardly going to ask you out but just talks to you while getting closer and closer and trying to touch you. And while if you're in a public place it's true he can't do much with people around (though on the street folks would happily pretend not to see most of the time, anyway), the agreement to go somewhere alone with him on a date (will he pick you up? get to find out where you live? have your private phone number? your facebook with lots of information linked to it if you want to find it all?) does imply the potential risk of that date being threatening, scary, unpleasant, whatever.

I'm not going to imply that you won out with this because you haven't. But you have to realize that a lot of the guys who know it intuitively NOW, have overcome former awkwardness by socializing and developing higher self esteem and more emotional sensitivity. It's never too late to actively be around other people more so you grow comfortable with what's normal and what isn't. But cold approaching probably is not for you (yet).

>>16413597
Obviously staring at your tits or groping you, etc.

Not being inarticulate when trying to flirt

>>16413594
Focus on improving yourself.

>>16413620
Would you consider ignoring clear signs of being uncomfortable and disinterest and being unable to take no for an answer as being creepy? Because I certainly do, though lots of guys don't seem to. Those sorts of behaviours are what get you labelled creepy, not your inability to flirt. You just think it's your inability to flirt because that's a lot more salient to you.

>>16413610
> Its harder for girls to reject guys than for guys to ask them out in the first place

Love this meme

>>16413635
I never said anything remotely like that. I just said it's not nearly as relaxed and empowering as guys seem to think, at least for an everyday girl who's trying to figure out how to navigate these things herself.

>>16413633
Are men supposed to be fucking psychic? What women consider clear is ancient Greek to men.

>>16413652
No, but they're supposed to be able to understand basic forms of non-verbal communication

>>16413651
It's magnitudes worse to be a guy unlucky enough to be born repugnant, putting yourself out there and getting crushed every time. And now I'm expected to feel sorry for the very same people who do that to me without a care in the world?

>>16413651
be careful anon, you'll shatter his delicately constructed worldview.

>>16413669
You are not expected to feel sorry for anyone. But you come into an opposite gender thread to ask perspective from the other side. I've done my best to explain why innocent awkwardness can look sincerely creepy to an outside girl, and why it's not a straightforward fun position of power to be asked out. You read my comments and latched on to the things that aggravated you most and spat out your resentment over that.
What do you want from me? Or from anyone for that matter? Are you juts looking for things to get more angry about and more worked up over?

It is not fair. Life is not fair. No, cute girls don't spend their nights crying because socially clumsy and physically below average guys have trouble forming relationships. You don't spend your nights crying because kids are dying of poverty and hunger worldwide. People are all busy with their own problems, their own hopes and dreams. They will never take another person's life, that they never have experienced, as a frame of reference for their own experiences. Nothing will change this. There are plenty of people better off than you and the majority of the world is worse off than you. Either you waste more of your time lapping up 4chan negativity and doing other shit that passes time and might stimulate parts of your brain but you won't remember on your death bed - and eventually blow your brains out or become that person who is always complaining about the cards they were dealt. Or you work with what you've got, like everyone is trying to do.

Bumping.

I'm watching a movie tomorrow with a girl I like in her room; I've been getting mixed signals from her so I dont know what cues to look for to gauge interest. When can I make a move?

So this girl is coming over to my place to go bar hopping and watch some horror movies tonight. She's been sending signals that she wants to mess around and I'm not sure how best to approach this.

I'm a virgin and don't know whether to tell her before/during we fool around or afterwards. I really like her and she seems to really be into me too. How do I best go about this without fucking it up?

>>16413696
#rekt

>>16412877
I love you. I don't know you but... I LOVE YOU!

>>16413696
> Or you work with what you've got, like everyone is trying to do.

And how much of that involves being sorry I offended girls by daring to think they might want to talk to me? How much do I have to think about how bad the poor girls have it, having the choice of whether they start a relationship with someone or not? I don't get that opportunity; I would do anything to have someone else be interested in my person. But yeah I'm really sorry I'm putting someone else in an awkward position, how 'creepy' of me, what was such an ugly person like myself thinking I could actually have a meaningful relationship with another human being?

I have nothing, what the fuck am I supposed to do? Apart from have high and mighty fuckers such as yourself tell me I'm not good enough, that I don't deserve the same happiness that comes easily to others

>>16413715
I already, literally, told you that you don't need to feel sorry for anyone but the whole point of these threads is to learn what it is like from the opposite gender's perspective. You literally asked how she is in a vulnerable position, I did my best to try to explain what that feels like and where it's coming from. Now you are losing your shit because by doing so I somehow implied that you owe them constant lamentation of these things.

Get a grip on yourself.

>>16413728
But you're still saying it's my fault for causing that awkwardness, just because I wasn't born with an attractive face. So again, what the fuck am I supposed to do?

>>16413696
First of all, you're talking to two people here. I was the original questioner, he just followed up on it.

Ultimately I agree with what you're saying. Women have no pressing reason to feel any empathy for romantically unsuccessful men.

But similarly, men who are repulsive to women have no real reason to feel any empathy for them, either. The vast majority of Western women are totally oblivious to the suffering of men left behind by modernity, so why should we care about women or their concerns?

It's really sad that it's come to this, but I don't see any option for unsuccessful men but to opt out of women entirely. The only thing you can do is focus on improving yourself and being happy alone. Get rich, patronize escorts as necessary, maybe get a Slavic wife when you're successful enough. But if you keep striking out with women no matter how hard you try, you just have to take the signs as they are.

>>16413741
I have not said that whatsoever. If you want to somehow break this cycle of negativity you have to warm up to the idea that you are partly projecting your own intense feelings on this on what others said.
What I said was that an awkward way of dealing with social interaction can come across as creepy. This has little to do with physical attractiveness, other than that people will be more blind to these signals if someone is hot - which holds true for all flaws ever.

I also never said it is an awkwardness that you "cause". It is an awkwardness that arises because both people are personally involved, it is a situation that the far majority of people have limited experience with, and if either or both parties involved have difficulty with confidently showing their enthusiasm and liking for the other person that can make things strained and weird thus resulting in the creeplabel. It is not a static but something that happens in a dynamic and even more subjective, in a dynamic in a specific situation and setting. I already told you to get out and get more social experience. Confidence isn't thinking that you're the man, it's believing that you're not less of a person than others or have less of a right to exist and live your life. This is most easily acquired through social inteaction with people growing to like you, finding a place within social settings. It will also give you thicker skin because if you want to become friends badly, you will also overanalyze things you do and think you fucked up all the time only to realize no one really gives a fuck. And it will refine your social intuition and make you less scared of the doom scenarios because you realize that it's way less weird and embarrassing to ask someone out on a date than to call rape because someone asked you out.
These are things you can't theorize. You have to experience them thoroughly for yourself.

I'm a 20 year old guy. In college. I have the generic fuccboi haircut right now, but I want to shave my head. I don't care if I look bad, but someone told me in going to attract a lot of attention. Is that really true?

>>16413746
I was talking in extremes for the sake of the argument. I do not think highly of women who are callous about rejecting people. It is no different than being callous about others' feelings in any other situation; it's at best insensitive, possibly narcissistic or downright cruel. However feeling bad when you reject someone decent is a far cry from investing your life energy in pondering the fate of unfortunate anonymous strangers, which no one does and with good reason.

Also as I mentioned in the post you quoted, I don't think the guy I am/was talking to owes women empathy. He is well within his rights to want nothing to do with their thought processes and motives, I just don't think it is beneficial if he hasn't fully given up yet.

I fully disagree. Most people out there want companionship. Everyone would like a partner who is 10/10 but there's not enough of those, and studies show that ultimately people have a strong preference for a partner roughly of their own attractiveness. I get the idea that guys on here just often have a wholly stunted idea of how you "get girls". They try to approach it as a videogame where you go through a number of motions by yourself and then, bam, you unlocked the pussy. No one would claim that if you want friends, you just have to find good hobbies and make them laugh a few times and they'll like you and want to be around them. Everyone understands it's a matter of chemistry and having things in common and of trial and error, of learning when to say something and when to just listen, when to drag someone out of their house and when to not smother them.

>>16413780
The men who are good with women aren't men who tick all the boxes or who have figured out the magical programming code. They're men who are good with women, meaning they know how to engage themselves in those interactions, how to show themselves in a both sincere and flattering light, how to strike a balance between showing sexual interest and showing interest in their person, between being assertive and not being pushy, between showing their best sides and being their true selves with all the petty habits. Some people are naturally better with these social things but for by far most people they are things that have to be taught and refined throughout life, not a matter of PUA steps.

>>16413780

getting girls is easy.

just be attractive.

I know from experience, my personality hasnt changed at all after lifting weights yet I get far more interest now.

lets just be real. your initial impression is ALWAYS physical. and you cant see a personality. so whats your best way to get girls?

be attractive.

>>16413784
Also forgot to add but the things I mentioned in the second post are more for seducing and dating someone (relatively) unfamiliar. But as I said most people are hungry for company and not exactly every girl has guys falling at her feet. In a lot of these relationships between young people it is simply a matter of randomly talking to someone and being taken with the way they smile at you, or how friendly they are towards you. In cold approaching you go from the situation where you are the buyer and she is the seller, but it is not nearly that straightforward in most situations - if you don't go after women much more conventionally beautiful than you are, that is.

I am really tired and feel like I'm not explaining and expressing myself well at all but I hope if you have no clue what I'm rambling about now, eventually you'll be in a situation where you realize what I was talking about.

>>16413784
For guys who are kinda autistic by nature that's extremely difficult, even with years of practice.

>>16413762
The awkwardness stems from the fact that as a disgusting person no one wants to interact with me. But, most also dont want to be egregiously mean, so they true to reject me in the safest, most defused way possible, which is fiddly and 'awkward'. Doesn't matter how I approach people, message people, start conversations or whatever. I have plenty of practice (I have tried hundreds of women), its not my lack of social ability that is the problem, just my fucking genes

Girls, I haven't been in a relationship for a while, but things are looking like it might end up that way.

My only question is, how can I do my end of a relationship if I'm constantly busy and live pretty much on my ass doing work.

For example, the semester has really got going, and as a Math/CS major I spend a long time at the computer programming or doing practice problems.

If I'm not doing that I'm probably 5 feet from my desk practicing my instrument,... on my ass.

I work two part-time jobs, and I'm taking 18 cr hrs of class, one night lab, and wind ensemble.

Basically, when I get home, after sitting on my ass all day at lectures, I work on school work until I can't be bothered, read some forums then sleep.

On the weekends, I basically wake up and crank out the weeks programming projects, due weds, which usually takes Saturday and Sunday morning. After that, I usually play some video games or go out and do any errands I need to do.

I feel like I use a great deal of my time, and idk how to show affection and interest if I'm basically doing my own thing most of the week.

>>16413793
desu I'm not really in favor of the MGTOW thing on an intellectual level--a girl I was chasing started dating a greasy manlet and I'm just butthurt and kinda venting. In my heart of hearts I more or less agree with you.

>>16413792
Attractiveness is attractive?! Stop the fucking presses.

That you become more desirable if something physical is added to everything else you have to offer, doesn't mean it's hopeless if you can't rely on your looks.

>you can't see a personality
If you've ever fallen in love on first sight, you'll know what you respond to isn't the most conventional and generic shit like that she had the best rack you ever saw. It'll be a certain freckle or chipped tooth that makes her smile endearing and cute, or a certain movement she made that reminded you of home in a weird way, or her smell, or the supple way she moved out of her chair that suddenly turned you on.

Yeah, initial impression is always physical, but the physical entails a whole lot more than your bare looks. It's not for nothing that people rave about someone's eyes and smile even when they're strangers and other parts of their body should sexually be more interesting to them. It is because even while you don't know them, it implies a certain personality and gives you a feeling of being kindred or whatever you'd describe it.

>>16413810
>If you've ever fallen in love on first sight
Which is an absolute bunch of nonsense. You don't fall in love with a person when you've had less than two paragraphs worth of conversation, you project the kind of person you hope they are, onto them.

>>16413796
Stop trying to ask women out everywhere, try harder to make friends. They will give you experience that simply approaching (no matter how scary) a stranger won't. Inb4 you tried and failed, it's a long term project. You need to hang out with people a lot to grow a sense of comfort and belonging. Especially as a man you need to do things with other men and have experiences together to be and feel included over time.

>>16413810

we ignore ugly people all the time.

the absolute best way to attract people is in fact, shallow. be attractive. thats all it takes. you arent going to fuck someone you dont find physically appealing, are you?

>>16413819
I always thought that was more or less implied by the term. That you immediately took a strong liking to them and that you were never disappointed. Not that you were off the deep end after one glance.

Either way, it doens't matter, substitute it with immediately taking a liking to someone. It's not true that someone's physical being gives nothing at all away about who they are. Their looks don't but their movements and behavior do - it's a world of difference whether you make eye contact with a girl and she flashes you a huge grin and wink, or she has a brief deer in headlights look in her eyes then casts her eyes down, or she giggles and blushes etc. If you see someone in real life in "action" you will not know who they are as a person but you will pick up on something that can highly appeal to you. It is not either 100% one or the other.

>>16413807
Condolences about the greasy one.

>>16413828
I'm not going to fuck someone I don't find physically appealing, but I don't need to find someone visually appealing to find them physically appealing. I see a lot of people. I work whole days by myself in a store and have for over a year, I see thousands of people look me in the face and all. I have seen drop dead gorgeous guys whose beauty I could appreciate, but who did not make me feel hot or cold because of the indifferent and unsympathetic way they acted (not meeting my eyes, being curt with their family/girlfriend, shit like that). I've seen completely average guys who made me immediately feel a bit weak in the knees because the weird stiff way they held their arms while walking in combination with their bangs reminded me of my first crush back when I was eight. I've had middle aged men with comb overs, double chins and guts get me so wet it was bothersome because of the way they charmed me and the cheeky way they looked at me and let their attraction show.

Everyone who tries to claim that appearance doesn't matter is trying way too hard to convince themselves, but it's not the whole story by a long fucking shot.

>>16413848
It is the most important and limiting factor, stop pretending it isnt

>>16413848

but you are going to ignore an ugly guy.

it's human nature. we all do it. you arent going to go out of your way to get the attention of an ugly guy.

but if someone is a 10/10...sure you are. thats why looks matter.

>>16413833
thanks, it's really sad. She was so qt and perfect and I think we had lots of chemistry and common interests, but the little fucker just got in first and sees her more often due to living circumstances. so fucking rustling

But yeah, at the end of the day as a man you just have to focus on self-improvement and take what you want, since nobody really gives a fuck about your problems lol.

>>16413864
For initial attraction and being approached, yeah. For long term relationship success it matters more how good you are at being in a relationship and dealing with people emotionally.

>>16413866
Guess it's good there are constantly situations in which people who would not have picked each other out of a crowd still interact and get a chance to look past the first impression.

>>16413875
Exactly, so ugly guys are fucked from the start. They never get a chance to get into the race in the first place

>>16413875

but your best bet attracting a girl is to be attractive.

you cant just assume people will think "hey, that guy seems like he's cool". you can only make judgements based on appearance until you talk.

>>16413880
See answer to the second part. Being in school together, studying together, being coworkers, being in the same social clique by chance, being part of the same club or hobby course or amateur political party and so on all provide openings to talk to people who would've potentially deemed you uninteresting at first.

>>16413885
Its well known that people sort other people they meet very early on. If you get sorted out of a romantic bin (because youre not attractive) and dumped into the friend bin, you are done. No hope

Question for men:
Say your girl has some bad stretchmarks and is still losing weight. Would you rather she be naked in bed, or wear lingerie to cover up the offending areas?

Question for both sexes:
My mind goes blank and my eyes roll when I'm having sex, like I'm about to pass out or something. Is this normal, or do women usually retain their ability to form coherent thoughts?

Falling in love with a guy 9 years younger than me, but I'm afraid I'm going to hurt him. He's so loving and sweet...

Help

If you ask out a girl much too early and she rejects you is it still all over? I don't even know her too well and it was more of an impulsive spaghetti moment than anything so a rejection was probably expected, right?

>>16413866
What about a normal looking guy who clearly is very active and ambitious?

Something about love being based solely on the best looking kinda makes me feel hollow and empty.

Are humans not evolved past this?

Something in my brain tells me that their is a certain romanticization of features. Romantic in the literary sense.

Our creativity tells us what is attractive.

Or do women really just whip out check list and if a man passes all the state instituted requirements, only then you will even acknowledge there existence.

Why do you have to make the world feel so cold for everyone else?

I'm almost certain what you are saying is false. We find peoples projections attractive.

I guess though, our race has been reduced to staring at a phone instead of marveling at the features of nature and the world around them.

I find it a marvel that on this great sepulcher in which we are bound to die, that people are willing to die like a slave. Instead of conforming to what "everyone" thinks, why don't people let their independence wander.

Sure, physical appearance is a thing anon, but I think you might be hyperbolic in stating it's everything. Else, you are already dead, rotting prematurely on your grave while the barren scrapes of your subjective mind melts into oblivion.

>>16413900
I had a crush on a pretty ugly dude for about four years, it didn't start until two years after I met him, but we couldn't make it work. Distance and drastically different personalities.

>>16413913
>question for men
Naked obviously. I'd be proud she's bettering herself and not give a damn about stretch marks
>question for both sexes
That means it's some good fucking

>>16413926
It really is very shallow and cold as you think it is

>>16413929
So you liked him because what? Obviously not his personality or his looks so?

Youre making shit up

>>16413926

here is my point.

a guy could be a wonderful person and have an amazing personality.

but YOU CAN NOT SEE THAT. your initial impression will ALWAYS be physical.

that's why looks are so important. it's like getting a job interview. how do you get the job if you dont get an interview in the first place?

>>16413933
I don't think it is.

I think inside everyone, there is beauty, and genius.

A genius only that self could posses, yet some refuse to let it shine, be it because anxieties or etc.

This is really what I seek in woman. Someone who is creative and does what their heart seeks.

I could care less about how attractive someone is. I seek someone with a flame in their heart.

>>16413938
It was his personality. It was the whole "opposites attract" thing. But we were completely volatile together. It was toxic, and if we weren't completely delighted with each other, we were so pissed that we wouldn't talk for days. It ended with a fight so bad that we didn't talk for two years. I only reached out to him about two months ago to apologize.

I like guys that challenge me. It's a weakness of mine that I have to fight, because there have been a few minor crushes since that were with similar guys. But you can't build a lasting relationship on controversy.

>>16413944
But in the right light, my friend, our mind sees whatever it wants to see.

What is attractive then, and what can't be skewed by the waning sun.

>>16413944
>YOU CAN NOT SEE THAT. your initial impression will ALWAYS be physical.
Sure if you're a vapid slut that has a hollow personality. If you are an intelligent person you will realize there are many aspects to the human person. Remember people do value you on personality too.

>>16413979

I am willing to give everyone a chance before judging them.

however, the way people think is usually shallow. which means if I want to get the attention of a girl, I need to be fit/attractive. being smart/funny isnt good enough.

>>16413963
You are not the norm I'm afraid, far from it in fact. Women parse men by attractiveness first, everything else is secondary

>>16413966
Regardless, attractiveness is still the most important factor by magnitudes

>>16413984
Usually is many degrees away from always. Never deal with absolutes. Find what works for you, not what works for them.

>>16413997

oh im not going to change who I am as a person, for anyone else.

but im just saying, this is how MOST people think. people are shallow by nature.

>>16413991
Your looks open the door, but your personality locks us in the dungeon and turns the lights off so that we're stuck, frightened and confused, in your hand-made cage that also serves as a bedframe.

I'd rather have an ugly guy with a lot of personality than a handsome guy that can't hold a conversation. I managed to luck out and get a guy that is both attractive to me and interesting, but there have been a handful of 3-4s that made me feel warm and fluttery.

>>16414018
> I'd rather have an ugly guy with a lot of personality

Who never gets inside the dungeon or whatever the fuck because hes locked out the door. You 'lucked' out, but of your own direction; you chose that guy over uglier ones with similar interesting metrics

im dating a girl and i'm embaressed of how bad she looks in most of her facebook pictures, so i don't want to list myself as "in a relationship" with her. she's been asking why, and i'm not sure if i should just tell her that she looks like shit or if that's asking for trouble

she looks good now, but she doesnt take many selfies i guess

>>16414032
>facebook

seriously dude, fuck off.

First, Who cares if you're listed as bf on facebook. All people do is post memes.

Secondly, Fuck off harder, do you really care that much about your image?

fuck man

>>16414027
The uglier guys were mostly unattainable due to distance. Internet meetings, you see. One that I do live near is simply married, and I don't fuck with that.

That being said, of course I'd choose someone who is handsome AND interesting over someone who only has one of those traits. But only having one of those traits doesn't make you automatically hopeless in the dating scene. Having NEITHER of those traits is what ruins you.

>>16413985
Spoken like a true virgin.

>>16414063

not him but come on, you really think attractiveness isnt the most important thing to girls?

if you dont have looks you might as well be invisible.

I'm finally in a fantastic relationship and I think have found the woman I will marry.

But I still watch porn, and it is taking a toll on our relationship, despite still fucking my gf. This is something that pre dates her. I've been watching porn for years. And I am willing to give it up. But she needs to realize that this is going to be a struggle. Not something that can be easily undone. What are your thoughts?

>>16413913
>Say your girl has some bad stretchmarks and is still losing weight. Would you rather she be naked in bed, or wear lingerie to cover up the offending areas?
Naked, probably. Its not a big deal imo, but I have some myself.

>My mind goes blank and my eyes roll when I'm having sex, like I'm about to pass out or something. Is this normal, or do women usually retain their ability to form coherent thoughts?
Mind going blank? Yeah that sounds like something I'd see in a hentai. My eyes roll back when I cum, but I've never lost control over my mind.

>>16414076
Most guys don't look like models. Most guys are not single. Why is this?

>>16414108

I got very little attention before.

now that im fit, girls flirt.

this isnt a coincidence.

>>16414114
Most guys aren't fit either.

Yo girls, how open would you be if a guy that's in a 2 year program with you at school asked you out? What I'm asking is, how heavy would you weigh the consequences knowing you're going to see this guy every week for at least three more semesters?

Guys,
My boyfriend drank too much and had a n emotional episode. I'm used to him crying here and there and expressing himself, but this time was more extreme. Now, it feels awkward. How do I stop feeling like this?

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I'll admit, I'm super embarrassed about my height, I got fucked over by genetic lottery, and I'm a whole 5'3" guy, and my whole family is on average 6'4".

How much do you femanons put into height? Is an automatic no-go? It mainly seems that its just a automatic no in most cases.

>>16414216
[most] girls prefer guys that are taller than them. just go for short girls and you wont have a problem..

and yes, it is an "automatic no go". i'm 5'7" and i would never put effort in meeting a guy that was shorter than me.

Girls

If you were talking to a guy you met online for about a good month and a half, having really pleasant conversations and plan to actually meet in December. If everything went well while hanging out, would you object if he went in to kiss you? Kinda random question, but that's my case coming up. Talking to a girl I kinda like, and I'm meeting her then. I don't expect sex (although it would be awesome) but I'd at least like to kiss/make out with her. She's really cute and she has a fun personality and thus far we've been having fun talks.

Advice?

Tips for dating a guy 10 years younger than me?

>>16414377
Don't

>>16414344
Is there any reason or is it just a height thing.

And there aren't many women my age who are my height. I just never really understood it.

>>16414404
it's like how most guys probably don't want flat chested women.

>>16414420

so what if the height difference is minor?

is it only a problem if there is a big gap? or if the guy is attractive would you overlook a minor one?

is there ever a situation where a girl invites you over to get *drunk* in her room and doesn't expect something to happen?

i've been friends with a girl for 3 years, we talk a lot and neither of us have been what we considered *drunk* (i'm 21, she's 23) which is where this started. i just don't know what to expect from being drunk i suppose. in a drunk state do people tend to just make moves on everyone regardless of if they actually like them romantically?