Old one hit the bump limit
Being a fat, lazy girl helplessly in love with your friend with whom you're not talking anymore because you fucked up truly is an endless suffering
and I suffer a lot now, I just want you to know /adv/
>>16359877
I love myself
>>16359897
Emily?
Fuck can't seem to fuck a girl for the life of me lately. Oh well, live and let live.
>>16359901
no, sorry
I really like my boyfriend and we get along really well and I think our relationship could become pretty serious. Something he said though is bugging me
He has a twin brother and yesterday we were driving and he said he thinks his he could never have a closer relationship with anyone than he has with his twin, not even his future wife or his soulmate. If he had to choose between his wife or his twin he would pick his wife though but only because he thinks it's what his twin would "want him to do". No matter how close he got to anyone, even the love of his life, he says he could never be closer to them than he is with his twin.
This is kind of a big deal to me because I'm not living for much right now. Literally just living for anime and to find the love of my life.
I want someone who loves me more than anything and I am the center of their world, and they are the center of mine. I want to be closest to them and them to be closest to me, and to grow old together and love eachother more than anything. For him to have someone he will always be closer to, even if he finds his soulmate is a weird thought to me.
I don't know how I feel about this and I don't really like it. I don't want to fall in love with someone and them to be everything to me and the closest person to me, but me to never be able to be the closest to them or everything to them no matter what I do or how close we get...
What do you think anons, what would you think in this situation and how would you go about this considering the relationship could get pretty serious?
Thank you for any help.
Seeing her smiling feels like being stabbed to the heart.
She is so beautiful.
I still fucking love her.
Why can't I get over her?????..
Why does it still fucking hurt?
I haven't seen her IRL in months, and I don't think about her anymore that way, but just seeing a new picture of her on FB or IG always gets a tear in my eye. She is so beautiful. And I had her. But I got comfortable and fucked it.
This documentary I'm watching for my college lecture sucks. It's just a bunch of niggers basically saying that they don't regret becoming drug dealers.
>>16359877
Before my ex I was a total loser. she dumped me over a year ago. Started to practice the guitar, went to the gym and rugby training, got a job, entered college, quit the cigarretes and got involved with a couple girls.
Thing is I still feel like a loser, have anger issues and can't stand social events without getting anxious.
>>16359965
Prove him wrong. If you fail, search for another person.
>>16360004
Proving him wrong would involve us falling in love and me getting even more attached to him and then if I failed I would have my heart broken. Trying to prove him wrong could end really badly.
He has even fallen in love with someone before but was still closer to his brother. I just think trying to prove him wrong without thinking of other options or ways to look at this could end really badly. Thank you though anon
>>16359965
Honestly, anon, I've never felt like this for anybody. If you were a random person I would advise you to focus on yourself and try to get over this necessity of a soulmate.
What I can say about this guy? He has a twisted relationship with his twin, is there a reason for that?
What do you want to know?
>>16360060
>What I can
what can i say*
I've been dating this girl for a month. A few days back we were doing our flirty thing alone together, when suddenly we ran into the "what are we"-talk.
>what do you think we are, Anon?
>(teasing smile) what do you think I think we are?
>(laughter) I don't know!
>(more laughter) me neither, but I like whatever it is
I fwubbed it. All I had to do was be honest, but instead I gave an unserious non-answer. I don't want to lead her on, but want her to know how I really feel. I see her as a girlfriend, and I want her to see me as a boyfriend.
Maybe I'll get a second chance next date.
>>16359965
Break up with him and don't be in a relationship until you realize that your expectations are entirely unfair.
They literally shared a womb at the same time. That's a level of intimacy that is unattainable for anyone outside of that bond.
The fact that you need someone to make you the center of their universe speaks volumes about your ability to have a lasting relationship.
>>16359877
i'm tired of doing stuff by myself.
right now im in my room wallowing in loneliness because i've been rejected 4 times this week
I wish that college were easier and it were more straightforward to getting a career after graduating.
>Go on POF
>Tanking pretty hard
>Link pops up "Take our silly stupid test!"
>I love stupid tests
>First question: Imagine someone is flirting with you
>Realize that no one has ever flirted with me in my entire life
>Realize I can't do this test
>Realize I'm a piece of shit
>>16360192
>The fact that you need someone to make you the center of their universe speaks volumes about your ability to have a lasting relationship.
I meant eventually. Like after being together for years and getting married. Not at the point we are at right now but down the line. That is not an unfair thing to want eventually if I would think of him the same way and want someone to love me as much as I love them.
To be closer to someone than a person you are in love with seems weird to me. I want me and someone I'm in love with to have a super close bond.
Also I have been in a 4 year relationship... I can hold a relationship perfectly fine. That is a silly assumption to make without knowing anything about someone's past relationships.
>That's a level of intimacy that is unattainable for anyone outside of that bond.
I get that it is a different kind of bond, but if you have a bond that close why not just marry your brother at that point? If you will never be that close with anyone else?
Why is it that every goddamn time I think I'm finally over the hormonal frustration/depression of being a 27/m virgin who has no chance at all with women, I somehow end up running into situations where there are cute women wearing kinky outfits to turn their boyfriends on and attract guys they're into, and the misery/jealousy/fap addiction starts anew.
>pay 400 $ out of pocket to live in a closet at my mothers apartment because I don't know how to move out on my own and nobody else pays bills so she needs me.
>only make exactly that much so i don't get to save diddly squat
>both of my older brothers are insane, one of them is a narcissistic ex con who's always lying to get his way and the other is a fucking schizo who overreacts to everything and wont leave me alone even if he talks for 3 hours straight and I agree with everything he says
>don't have any friends or other family members that will take me in even if i spare some money
>literally wondering what the fuck do i leave because i get chased out of the house regularly and can never get comfortable here
honestly I'm really hoping for some real advice.
>>16360233
The fact that you cannot differentiate between romantic love and the love between siblings is what is causing you so much undue stress.
Why are you so jealous of deep bond? Why does he have to "match" your level of intimacy?
You appear to be obsessed with this balancing scale of love that is unrealistic. Is it that unbelievable to accept the fact that he has a unique bond with his twin?
I keep having a recurring dream where I have to go back to New Zealand. I was there for a year and left. This doesn't bother me, but whenever I think of this I always think of my ex. I'm totally over her, but the fact that she's still in my fucking dreams bothers me, yet I don't really know why.
I'm such a happy person most of the time but sometimes shit really hits me hard. and then i feel guilty because what have I really got to complain about. I feel like I'm constantly pushing myself for a better future and never being able to enjoy the present. Nothing I've ever done and nothing I will ever do will be good enough for me to think highly of myself. I can't tell if I need to stop hating myself, or if I just need to be less shit. I'm not suicidal or anything but I really wish I didn't exist.
Q
It just can't be as intense as you say it is. I'm not doubting you but I think you're mixing some internal feelings and created this idealized version of me and this relationship that realistically could never work.
Don't worry and get over it, in no time you'll see it was just a twisted fantasy that would never help you become a better individual.
You're the person I feel the closest to since we stayed up late that night and even when we argued it never changed for a moment. I don't know if this is a crush or a friendship bond, but I hope you understand why I can't be in a relationship.
We're gonna look back and laugh at this madness.
T
>middle aged man's fiance doesn't give him the V after he bought her a gift
>now he's depressed and i'm the only friend he can talk to
>me
>a single girl in her 20s
...right. I know I'm half his age but I wasn't born yesterday.
on the verge of losing a very close friend of two years today
i dont want to lose him but i know he wants nothing of me now
i was having issues with my family at the time this happened
he was playing a vidya and we were in a call talking and shit
then he just gets angry at the vidya game and alt-f4 the game and the call
this has happened many times before and normally i just let him be
but the shit that was happening with my family kinda pushed me over
started to bitch to him on steam
> ok, im done with you
that was the last thing i said before removing him from friends
>fast forward to the next day
i start to feel like shit because of what i did
tried to readd him on steam, he blocked me
tried to text his phone, for awhile i thought he was getting the texts but after awhile i tried to call him and it when straight to voicemail
i know hes online on his phone cause he added to block me thanks to steam's shitty mobile app
he shows up offline on my computer but online on my phone
>next day
I tried texting him again
fucking i went full spaghetti
told him hes much more than a friend to me
that i dont want this to be the end
> next next day
couldnt sleep
texted him almost all day
not a single response
at this point im just doing it to distract myself
i know im fucking up with him but i feel lost without him
i just want him to say something and not leave me in the fucking dark
I hate /v/. I hate the way people tend to argue in absolutes or turn arguments into a contest. I wish I could filter people by IP.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck you fuck you I fucking hate you both so much. Fuck you fuck you. I know I'm a piece of shit but I deserve better than this. This is just fucked I don't even know what we are and you go pull this shit. No more putty from me bitch. No more I love you's
>>16360413
You fucked up, he doesn't want a thing to do with you, he sounds like an immature idiot and you're borderline harassing him. Take a hint and leave him alone.
I guess it's on me tho. I shouldn't have go involved with you in the first place. It's happened before and has happened again. And I'm just left here feeling suicidal. I shouldn't be allowed to be near women
>>16359897
Same here, but I'm a skinny unconfident guy
>>16359985
This nigga is me
One year later and still obsessing over a camp counselor whose name I only accidentally found out through some online stalking. I can never add him cause he used a fake name during camp and it'd be creepy as fuck but he is my ideal and god I want him so bad.
>>16360269
>Why are you so jealous of deep bond?
Because I want to have a deep bond with someone too.
>Why does he have to "match" your level of intimacy?
You don't want whoever you are closest to one day to feel the same way about you?
>Is it that unbelievable to accept the fact that he has a unique bond with his twin?
I guess it's not unbelievable but it isn't so bad for me to want a close bond with someone one day right? That is all I want in life seriously. To have a close relationship with someone and to love eachother deeply. I don't get how that is so hard to understand or how it is so unrealistic to want to find someone who loves me as much as I love them one day and for me to love someone more than anyone but for them to love someone more than me no matter what I do would hurt. That means I will never be the closest person to someone and being the closest person to someone is all I want in life.
I can't believe I bought into this stupid bullshit for so long. "I love you, I want to marry you, you're perfect, I'd do anything for you"
Listening to you talk about how all you want is someone loyal and faithful.
That's all I fucking was and now you leave?
"Maybe I'm not -meant- to be in a relationship"
then why fucking lead me on for so long? what kind of sick sadistic sack of shit does that?
That's why I can't trust anyone any fucking more. Everyone cries, 'just give me a chance! I'm loyal and kind and I'll be good to you! ' so I stick my neck out for the fucking underdog and he pisses all over my shoes anyways.
The truth is we literally don't even know each other. Waking up next you every day sounds like a dream and I would love to do all of that but I can't act on this impulse. For many reasons.
>>16360576
>>16359877
It's because you just can't be normal and come back down to earth. Even for just a moment, I would have liked that but you couldn't. I still want you but it's too much for me right now. I would have given it my all but I still saw the old you and that is something I do not want to be a part of anymore. The past is the past.
You add to people's stresses, I wanted to just be happy with you. It should be easy just smile with me one day then.
P.S probably not you but related to it sorry.
Lol at the elections, this is going to be funny.
>>16358241 #
I'm almost 100% positive that he talks shit about me though, plus I think he might already have a girlfriend. There's no point in pursuing him if he already has a negative opinion of me or is already in a relationship, I don't want to be a homewrecking bitch. We're two completely different people and we have totally different lives, he'll be 60 next year and I'm only 20.
I can almost guarantee with absolute certainty that it wouldn't work. He's a social butterfly and I'm an autistic (I literally have autism, I'm not using the generic insult kind of autistic), unfunny shit with no life. Even if we did start dating or whatever, he'd drop me faster than a hot potato once he realizes that there's nothing interesting or unique about me past my inability to form stable relationships. That's not even factoring in all of the family drama that would come from dating a guy more than twice my age. We'd have to switch around departments at work, which I'm sure neither of us want to do. If we did start seeing each other, we'd have to keep it under tight wraps. Even then, somebody would find out.
Sometimes things don't work out the way you want them to. It's how life is, and I have to accept it no matter how hard it is to swallow even if I don't want to. It's for the better, for both my crush and I. I don't even think he's the slightest bit interested in me, even if I want to believe that there's a chance.
>>16359877
Lol at these desperados trying to compete for a woman playing games here on 4chan and missed connections.
ya'll better recognize your miserable future before you marry it gentlemen
real women dont play games
and real man dont take shit and leave. Avoid gang mentality types.
>>16360775
are you just posting this in every thread because you have nothing better to do?
I wish someone could tell me what am i doing wrong, why no one likes me.
Am i an asshole? Am i boring? Am i creepy? Whatever it is it must make me an alwful person, because i dont even get to have a friend.
Someone please just tell me what i have to do, i dont want to be alone anymore
>>16359877
Dearest women,
When a man asks you out at all, either via text, phonecall, letter, or in person, please, never, ever ever just ignore them. At the barest minimum you must tell them that you are not interested and that further attempts to ask you out will be rebuffed. It is incredibly rude to ignore someones putting themselves out there like that, and even if they are repulsive and gross and shit they deserve to at least know you aren't interested.
t. that guy you ignored
>>16360749
the point of telling him is getting it all out of you. I had huge crushes on girls way out of my league, and only by stuttering like a retard and gaining such reputation I could learn to communicate with normies. putting all those failures behind, I could get in long term relationships.
if you tell him and it turns out he likes you, that doesn't mean you're going to instantly become a homewrecker. some things would have to happen, and your autism should help you to plan the where and when (and yo what extent) things can happen.
you're twenty, and saying or doing silly things makes me think of you as a total cute. and even cuter because your name is Taylor.
The two of us could never be, but you are way too good for him. Being content with going through the motions? What kind of life is that?
>>16360584
Initials?
I wish I didn't turn down that fuck but I was scared man, nobody ever wanted to fuck before, I didn't know what to say so I just said no and now I really regret it. I feel like an asshole now
4chan is a bad place. I can't explain too much what happened but I just am so sick of judgement. I work hard for what I do I love it and then I'm bashed for it because I don't meet so and so standard. I'm sorry you're fucking salty because you're life was shitty and you didn't have the opportunity to be in our community as well as I am now. People need to stop being jealous bitches stop judging people they don't even know. I'm not immature.
You are literally the biggest scum of the earth. You are an overgrown kid who sits around, smokes weed/dabs all day, does drugs constantly, play your stupid PC games all day, treat your aunt whom you're leeching off of like shit, you bash all your friends & highlight their flaws, you have caused me great harm, and yet you still luck out with a rich aunt.
Guess what buddy? You're nothing. All you know how to do is do drugs, slander peoples reputations, make fun of them, call them names, and think you have no flaws at all. For the love of god your room is a giant fucking shithole with syringes all over the place, tinfoil for your heroin smoking, and all sorts of stupid shit...
I seriously want to fucking murder you and if you dare try to come after me via using your bigger friends because you're so scrawny for dropping you like a rock..I will molotov cocktail surprise your house.
You are nothing to me. You aren't even human. You are scummy leech who bad mouths everyone who helped you along the way and much more. People like you deserve to be fucking dead.
>>16361187
Initials?
>>16360225
I believe in you, Anon.. I love stupid tests, too. Let's make up the answers together, sometime...
>>16360265
If you're going to pay some rent you can live with me and save the rest, Anon.
I wanted a small legion of NEETs to farm but this is just as good
Trucker if you read this and I come be your bride you'll let me keep a small legion of people, yes?
>>16360570
>add him
>if it ever comes up claim you were sifting through 'people you might know' on fb and recognized his pic
Assuming it's fb. Really just add him creepy is better than nothing
>>16360857
Chat with me and I'll tell you what you're doing wrong
Worst case scenario you have someone to talk to for a bit
[email protected]
>dropped out of high school
>twice
>managed to get into uni
>dropped out
>don't have the heart to tell my family after they were so proud of me
I've been going everyday an sitting in the library so they think I'm there. That or just hooning around in my car.
Plus the suicidal thoughts are back. Yay
>>16359877
Ir was sad realizing how lost they truly were. They just were looking for a liferaft to grab onto. Even if they were trying to kill the only passenger in the liferaft they want to get into. They just were trying to survive in the only way they knew how; by screwing others over.
It was sad knowing that. I can't call you evil because your worst enemy is yourself. You are creating your hell on earth and you're suprised no one wants to burn with you?
I feel bad for you. You have to take care of yourself and isolate yourself. Maybe you'll face your demons too and change for the better knowing that you were responsible for the events in your life too. Being close to death is when you truly appreciate life. You are being an asshole because it's easy to sit on the sidelines and watch.
I won't be watching your cries for help anymore.
So, i like this girl, and we have a good relationship, we kiss, we hold hands, we sleep together. This went for five months, and then i decided to ask her if she wants to be my girlfriend. She says that i got everything wrong and that she is going back to her ex boyfriend. Then I realize that everytime that we were together, she was using me as a substitute for him. I really don't know what to do know. I want to be alone a little, but she says that I'm selfish, and never think about the others
>>16361410
Oh, I'm on a similar situation. Do you havê something that you can say that you are good at? Because, for example, I'm in a team to develop an app. You don't need to go to the classes to learn
The only reason I haven't killed myself is because I'm afraid she would if I did.
>>16360703
Initials please.
>lol telling people to kill themselves anonymously is fine, it's the internet! It's not real!
I hate every single one of you faggots. Every day I come here and see you fucking people act like you're not morally accountable for anything, as if the very act of being anonymous frees you from being a decent human being. Your personality doesn't exist in a vacuum you shits. Not even close. The words you say to other people affect them just as much as they affect you, whether or not you want them to. Just because you can't see that shit happen doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
A lot of people that visit this place are going to look back in a few years, legitimately wonder how they became so miserable and miss the irony completely. Fucking hell.
>>16361434
I went to uni for something to do, practically free and I ironically I got to learn about depression while suffering badly from it.
And now that I don't have an excuse I have to join the real world rather than working part time at macdonalds. It's scary. Plus autismbux isn't an option since I need to be judged at unable to work for 2 years
>>16361473
kill yourself
fuck you all of you i fucking hate every single ofne of you shitters i sweart to god if you ever even saw me in real life i;d destoy you with my glorioiness
DIE
>>16359922
Name?
>>16361473
Toughen up, you can't use this website with such a thin skin
How about going to tumblr, I hear they are nice over there.
>>16361484
you cant tougfen up its not possible just stop
>>16361452
Yup
>>16361484
Why can't I? I've been using 4chan for nine years, the twat userbase has only gotten worse.
I am so fucking annoyed being in party chats with players that I don't know. Unless they know I'm a girl beforehand, they always think I'm a guy. I'M SORRY THAT I SOUND LIKE A 15 YEAR OLD BOY BUT I AM A 27 YEAR OLD WOMAN OKAY!!! FUUUUCK!
>>16361525
FUCK YOU BOY GIRL STOP PLAYING VIDEOGAMES YOU BIYTCHES LITERALLY RUIN EVERYRHGINF ENOUGH JUST GO
I wish i had the money for a plane ticket
In the long run saving up all my cash to move in with you is so worth it
but it doesnt stop my chest from aching when I can't see you
>>16361009
So you're saying I should just put it all out there and risk what little reputation I have and make things SUPER awkward between him and I for the rest of ever how long I have left working at this place?
I know you're trying to help, but no. There's a good chance he'd tell everyone and then I'd be even more of a laughingstock than I already am. There's no way of telling him without any of it sounding really awkward.
I don't get how people can live their lives. ''Normal people'' I mean.
Every person I know works 8 hours a day and on weekends they drink or do drugs. I can do that, I am fine with that, but I don't think my body can do this.
I feel like I am addicted to alcohol and I crave harder drugs. Last time I went out I had to stay in bed for 30 hours. Is this really how people live? It's like we are all doing this, but I am missing something so they will go on to live their normal lives while I stay behind and get killed by my addictions.
I know people who are 40-60. They used to live just like me and they went on to become successful happy people who don't even drink. Will I be able to make it? Sure, I can just stop this lifestyle, but then I will be missing out on friends. None of the people my age go out sober. I'd be a recluse if I gave up alcohol.
>>16360285
Creepily similar, are you me?
Hang in there, anon. You were probably happier at a time in the past, but that's because things seemed more stable. You'll get there again, it just takes work to get to those stable points, but when you get there you can enjoy it while it lasts. It's worth it. Just don't forget to take a little time to enjoy the present, make that balance, it'll make the days easier.
>>16361487
Yes, you can. It's called finding the best way to deal with your problems, not giving up until you're hit by a car or your heart just gives out, & keeping your problems in perspective.
>My girlfriend left me & I feel heartbroken!
At least you're not wasting away in a bed with incurable cancer.
I'm not saying this to be a dick, I'm saying this because this is how you toughen up. Perseverance and perspective.
Boyfriend gets insanely pissed if I laugh at something for too long, we were watching America's funniest home videos and I couldn't stop laughing at this one part and he went fucking CRAZY
He slammed down his hands on the coffee table and SCREAMED "That is just fucking annoying!" and stormed out of the room
This isn't the first time it's happened, if I laugh too much around him or show "over happiness" as he puts it, he gets really angry.
>>16361482
Genowefa
no, I'm kidding, but what difference does it make? Unless you are M we have nothing to talk about
>>16359897
I don't know if this is who I think it is, but it it is, now that l just cut my skin open and I love you
>>16361850
Who are you anon? Give me your initials
>>16361852
Give me yours? Please be you
>>16361881
I'll give you one (K) and regardless of whether I'm your person or not, you give me one too, okay?
>>16359965
Sigh, women are poor, poor things.
Look, i understand that since you were a baby people shoved on your mind that everlasting prince/princess love bullshit and that you think profound relationships like marriage require unconditional love. But all this thing about you having your loved one making you the center of the universe is pretty absurd and unpractical on a healthy relationship. Or psyque. Its consensus on the psychology and psychiatric community that one must be content with himself to be able to have healthy relationships, for the lack of important aspects of a healthy mind will eventually fall upon those near in the social cycle, usually family or the loved one. The fact that you want to be considered the most important and loved person in the universe by someone else indicates a big insecurity that YOU have about YOURSELF, about your value. Expecting someone to accomplish this level of uhmm adoration or idolatry is pretty weird. You may have your bfs sexual and romantic love, but his fraternic love will aways be stronger AND THATS TO BE EXPECTED. We're talking about his brother. And it's a TWIN brother. Blood of his blood. Now that's unconditional love in a biological level. They have been together since day 0. You can't possibly expect your vagina to erase all that now can you?
And why exactly do you need to be the most important thing in the world for him? What are you trying to prove (to yourself?). It doesnt mean he doesnt love you a lot.
You expect too much of him. You should probably talk about what bothers you or insecurities at a psychologist, once you are feeling well with yourself you wont try to fill your personal holes by depositing hopes on your loved ones.
>>16361770
I dont drink, dont smoke, dont do drugs and have a very rich social life, and many of my friends drink a lot. Unless they are complete scum they will understand you dont want to drink/etc. And if your hangouts usually require you to get smashed or you suffer pressure from your "friends" you likely need better friends.
>>16361811
You were here months ago with the same thing. Why haven't you left him yet?
>>16361811
Sit down with him and ask what the fuck is up.
If you dont dialogue you wont solve anything.
Try to understand his reasons. If they are autistic, explain why to him. If he's autistic, leave him.
>>16361473
>being this mad
>being this new
Go back to leddit or some other vanilla shit, you don't have the stomach and maturity for this.
>>16361889
Oh my God either this is a big coincidence Or You really are her. V - please respond
>>16359877
I'm in love so in love. He's falling for me too..but we just can't be together.
I'm afraid if we don't get together now, we won't ever. But everything is complicated on my end.
>>16359897
>>16361850
>>16361852
>>16361881
>>16361889
>>16361909
You two should text each other or something at this point saying "Hey you" and talk in person
>>16361909
Coincidence, sorry
>>16361913
Vm? It can't be?
>>16361915
nah, my M doesn't have V
>>16361922
Kd? Please God be joking.
>>16361929
Actually KD are my two of three letters. What are yours anon?
>>16361900
You're right, I admit it, that was me, I haven't left him because I gave him an ultimatum, told him that if he didn't lighten up, I would leave him, and for a few months he was fine.
But now it's bad again...I'm trying everything I can NOT to leave him, because with all the things going on in my life, having a heartbreak thrown into the mix I think will kill me.
>>16361932
Vince. My name is Vincent but you like Vince better (: And I love you more than anything in the world. My initials are VM. I'm a stupid fool for what I did and I love you. I know it's you. You don't like me cutting myself and stopped until tonight and the very night of my relapse I find you here. Its a miracle. Vince
>>16361943
Anon, I told you:
>my M doesn't have V
thought you were a different person. I'm sorry
>>16361953
Please he kidding. I just carved your name into my leg with a knife. In sorry about what I did. But I love you. I'll change my ducking name. Fuck v. I'll just be M. I love you.
>>16361962
>I just carved your name into my leg with a knife
that is seriously too much. Chill some, guy
>>16361964
Please love me. I know I sound weird but I'm not. I'll do whatever you want to prove my love. I am who you think I am.
>>16361983
I'm not your person, anon, and you are not mine. it happens
i'm down
> in (my first) relationship with gf for 4 years, got together in a shared flat of 4 people
> 4 years go by
> i am no longer attracted to her, she no longer cares about her appearance
> i have the feeling our conversations have become superficial and boring, i start feeling that our interests are way too different
> she has gotten lazy and passive, whereas i realize i want to do a few things in life that i havent done
> she constantly talks about our future, i don't wanna think about it
> i start treating her bad. don't know exactly why, but maybe because i subconsciously feel that i am missing out on so much considering it is my first relationship. hate myself for it.
> we argue all the time, i don't wanna give it up and hope that everything turns out ok and that it is just a phase.
> few weeks ago, new flatmate moves in. she looks like a model, is very active and overall a nice and warm person
> thisisnotgoingtoendwell.jpg
> cut to present moment, i think i am in love with her. no one knows.
fuck my life, what do. i just dont understand myself here. i hardly even know the girl, so wtf is wrong with me? and how do i get out of this mess? pic unrelated.
>>16361983
I'm sorry
>>16359996
That's cause you've conditioned yourself to feel like that. But you are making progress. Stay the course my friend.
>>16359877
Before this, my life was quite troublesome. I went to trashcanistan. I had a lot of really stupid dangerous hobbies.
I have a nice life now. I have money. I am comfortable. I want for nothing.
I just seem to have lost my mind along the way. The reason I am so happy talking to people is most of the time I'm imagine a tank breaking through the wall and crushing them to death.
Guy I'm trying to jew (GITTJ): Well anon great analysis of China but blah blah blah
Me: [insert econ facts gathered and time wasted in uni]
GITTJ: but my gut says otherwise anon
(What I want to say) Me: Does your gut tell you that I could easily murder you with this fucking pen? Right through your retard neck. Maybe I should bash your fucking head open so you get what I am saying through it?
(Actual) Me: haha you got it chief (as I imagine the above)
The even more terrifying thought is there may be other people just as insane as me who hide it just well.
I put it down to two things.
1. I have adopted turmoil as natural state.
2. Killing things and using violence as a valid conflict resolution tool is nothing some thing you can apply in the civilian world
I hope I adopt to the new norm soon. This being respectable shit sucks. I miss scuba diving and bargoyles. Even though I know those days are long since over.
>side note: World War 2 Era Nazi music soothes me into a better mood for some reason
>>16361939
Ultimatums never work but even so, he broke it. So leave him.
God I'm so fucking pathetic.
Just because some girls talks and laugh with you doesn't mean that they like you retard.
organizing a show completely on your own is the most complicated shit. everythings variable but i know when this all works out it will be worth it
God did things move fast. Why couldn't you have just asked me on a date when we first met? I would have definitely accepted it and we would see where to go from there. Knowing what you want in the long run makes it so difficult to just say "yes", I feel like that would be actually leading you on, but maybe it's because we haven't even met yet after that trip.
I really don't know... Holy shit, this is so weird
I cook for you, I clean for you, I wash your clothes, and the dishes and I even shower you.
I help you into bed, massage your sore bits, and wipe your ass and goddamn it you can't even hold a conversation with me anymore.
You told me there was a fine line between being a girlfriend and a career. I think we hit that line when you told me we don't have the time to date. When you promised you'd look after me then told me you hadn't paid the rent in months. When I work 12 hours shifts and come home to you not even putting your food wrappers in the bin or putting your plate on the side.
I do EVERYTHING in my power to look after you, but who's looking after me?
>>16362292
They might now like like you but they enjoy talking with you try to make a move and if she says no just keep talking to her casually when you see her.
Can't force them to like you but you can still be a gentlemen.
With time you'll find someone who want to spend more time with you.
I'm in love with one of my professors. I know he doesn't have feelings for me but I guess that doesn't stop me.
lmao just shoot me
>>16362339
Hun your too good for that man, you obviously work your self too the bone for him and he treats you like a maid.
Before breaking the relationship go see a couple counselor that would help.
>>16362368
That's sweet of you, Anon.
I'm morally clashing though. I started a relationship with him knowing he was in a wheelchair so why should it make such a difference now?
Why is adult life so stressful
>>16362313
You don't want to hurt him that's good you care.
Ask him to go drink a coffee at the coffee shop you want to see him let him know.
Also let him know that even tough you know he want's to go for the long run, you would rather go a step at a time and tell him that you like him.
Courage!
I hate living in Europe since the refugee crisis. I already have a new place to stay with my partner which is much safer and very anti-Islam. I'll be so glad to be out of this shithole with people tolerating this crap.
I worry that my erection troubles are costing me the girl that I lust after the most. She's such good fun but we've tried to have sex twice now and both times i haven't been able to get it up.
Now she's not text me back when we were supposed to go out for drinks yesterday night and it's really stressing me out.
>>16362381
Couple counselor might be able to help him open up more about how he feels.
I am not in a wheelchair but I could imagine how degrading after your wife wipe your ass could be, he could even hate himself for dragging you into his life.
I know for a fact that his in a depression right now, do way you describe everything that his not paying attention to anything or anyone anymore.
His dragging you down with him into his depression that what you feel that hopelessness.
The boredom is crushing.
I wish I had some freinds, but I know I cannot
>>16362404
I had that problem once and it was because I was overly stress about sex ended up having way too much anxiety.
First let her know that shes the most beautiful women in the world, women tend to think its their fault you can't get it up.
After that breathe man and take it slow, focus on her and not your dick, Hell forget you even have one and please her.
Make out for a longer time and look at her and forget you exist.
Massage her whole body.
If your not hard yet, eat her out in till you're hard.
Worked for me.
>>16362413
what's stopping you from having friends?
>>16362413
Go out there, find a hubby with groups and talk with them. Be kind and friendly. :)
>>16362432
thanks bro
I'm 40 and have made a lot of friends, married, worked several places, joined IRL or online groups related to every one of my interests, gone to different churches/spiritual services. And yet I never really feel like I fit in anywhere.
I think it's because the times I've gotten comfortable in a place, I am more vocal about my opinions and less careful about hiding my irritation. Either I don't notice I'm doing it until someone calls me out on it, or I think I'm still policing myself but am apparently not, and suddenly say something that offends someone/puts them off guard. Even after mentally double and triple checking, I can't see where what I said is out of line or any worse than what other people in the group have said. If someone tries to explain it to me, I have trouble seeing the distinction. I keep getting told that it's not so much what I'm saying but the way I'm saying it. If I look super close, I can see that I might've been slightly more direct and less disarming/humourous than in the past, but I can't see anything rude or shocking in what I said. After that, people seem to be worried that I'm just going to go postal and/or say something horrible, and everything I say after that seems to be filtered based on that (like that experiment where 2 groups of people are given identical sets of statements but 1 group is told the statements are from a psychotic person, so they're more likely to interpret the statements as evidence of psychosis). I know it's human nature to do this.
Then it feels like my only choices are to continue as is and eventually risk getting kicked out, withdraw from the group, or just be extremely careful in what I say which leads me to feel like I can't participate much. Generally I shut up/lurk moar but end up just quitting.
This is something I've been working on since my teens, both on my own and with therapists. It's gotten better over the years, but it's still happening and I feel so isolated and worthless because of it.
>>16362484
This is my opinion and not some psy or someone with education.
It seems like you lack empathy, obviously its not a major problem you have a family friends etc.
Practice being more kind and be more focus about what the group is all about, be less focus about saying what come up in your mind keep that for the house and friends.
You know people join those group to be part of something greater than themselves and figure out why you're there, to help and share your experience or the make new friends?
>>16362517
Thank you for your reply, it's given me some things to think about.
I have the same issue with my friends too, and have lost some in the past. The last ten years or so, I have had more success keeping friends. It's not as much of an issue with my husband, and I also accept that there are times in a marriage when it's best to bite your tongue until you've cooled off, so perhaps that's part of it. But often talking to people I don't realise I'm upset or even *feel* particularly upset, but they will mention that I seem upset. Getting in touch with feelings is another difficulty I'm working on in therapy.
I guess I join groups because I'm lonely and I think I'll find validation and comfort in a group of people that I can relate to and who can relate to me. Upon reflection I think it's probably the main reason I come to 4chan. I know I'm supposed to be looking inward for validation, not outward, and that's also something I am still working on in therapy.
>>16362608
Hey you're going to good way keep on going!
>>16362642
Thank you for the encouragement.
I'm 25, and it feels like everything that's led up to this point has essentially left me nowhere. I've bought everything I want to buy, and all of the time I'm not in work is mine to spend.
So why can't I get anything done? Why do I just sit here at my PC doing nothing all day and night I can? Why can't I ever meet anyone I get along with so that I actually have someone IRL I can talk to?
I know these are problems which are constantly leaving me depressed, but I seem completely incapable of either
a) figuring out how to solve them
b) having exhausted everything I could try to solve them
The fact I'm a lonely 25 year old sat at his PC whining about how shitty he feels with his life speaks for itself.
>on wednesday we chat for a few minutes
>on friday I add her on social contacts because why the fuck not
>next day we talk for hours and she agrees to come to a concert to which I admit I wouldn't go if not for it being an opportunity to see her
>I spend a great evening with her and regret leaving
>text her I want to do it again
>she wants it too
>she texted me this morning
>we're going to the movies on tuesday and she wants us to have a drink first
I feel like I'm on a cloud. I rarely get along so well with people.
I keep feeling like pic related and it's scaring me. What if I've been seriously mentally ill my whole life, and I'm reaching the breaking point?
I lost my virginity yesterday. It was also one of the shittiest days of my life. Two fuckers parked their cars basically touching mine, in a way that I couldn't get out. Me and the girl had to search for one of cunts to be able to leave. I got lost 3 times on the way to the hotel due to the GPS fucking up, almost crashed at a point. When we arrived, only the shittiest room was available (I was getting the best for us).
I was very angry at that point and started feeling sick to make things worse. I just wanted to give up and die but she was very kind, said that she doesn't care, shit happens. We started having sex, but I never told her I was a virgin, because the last time I did this, the girl broke up with me. I tried to fake experience with the shit porn taught me, and to be honest it worked pretty well for some time, until my mind blanked entirely. I had no idea what to do anymore and started to make stupid mistakes. She started to get confused and I just bursted "look, I'm a virgin". She got angry, saying that I should have told her before, as she was once on this position and would have totally helped me.
The sickness I felt earlier got stronger and I was unable to sleep the whole night. She wanted to sleep hugged to me but I just kept pushing her away since I was almost puking at that point. It was terrible and she started to feel really sorry for me.
She still hasn't talked to me since I dropped her at her house this morning. I guess at least I should be thankful that I had the chance of getting with someone who was very comprehensive despite the amount of terrible shit I had to make her go through.
>>16362866
Oh and when we parked on the hotel some dumbass rear ended my car. It's a miracle my car ended up with no damage at all after that night
If you spelled letters, Would W be double you?
>>16360710
I'm pretty fuckin' excited anon, I cannot lie.
I'm in love with the idea of us. We'll never end up together, I know you hate me, but the delusion that we might cross paths someday and suddenly connect and bond is too good a fantasy to shatter. I don't want to accept that you can't stand the sight of me, or that I irritate the piss out of you; because that's the reality of it. I want to believe that I have a chance with you so that this hallucination that we're meant for each other never ends, I don't want to know how much you really hate me, what you say about me behind my back, what people tell you about me, or how stupid you think I am. That'll ruin it all.
I'm living in a dream that I don't want to wake up from.
I don´t even know what to write, or how to put what I feel into words.
I just feel really really shitty. I feel alone and abandoned, and I feel like I often get emotionally abused. My parents probably think i´m a weirdo, or maybe they don´t really think about me that much at all. What they think about is themselves, but don´t we all do that? I feel left out and misplaced in society, and I feel like everyone is just fucking superficial and careless. I hate having to work for a useless piece of paper, just to get the things i desire, and to create experiences for myself. What really matters in this life has been completely forgotten by everyone, and now we´re navigating life using our minds, instead of acting on what we feel.
Everyones a phony, because i´m a phony - and I have no clue how to be real or just be myself.
I´m anxious most of the time, I fuck up pretty much all relationships I try to build with people and I always, ALWAYS sabotage myself.
I start smoking, binge eating, cutting out every healthy aspect of my life and replace it with poison.
Sometimes I really wish that I could just die, just because I know that I don´t fit into this world, and because I have visited realms of consciousness that display far greater beauty than what this life could possible offer.
I have felt infinity and life beyond death, and I just want to push the limit - but I feel entangled by my family always talking about how someone close to them doing dangerous or challenging things will hurt them as well.
I am not afraid of dying, and I actually look forward to the day that I can leave my physical shell, and explore something deeper than this. I pray for a world where people can reveal their deepest darkest secrets, look deeply into each others eyes and just love each other. I wish we would all care for everything living on this planet, and take charge of the changes that this world so desperately needs. I wish everyone was free to do whatever they dream of.
>>16360269
I very much after with this anon(ette). Also, you seem to be a good listener anon(ette), good for you.
I always feel nervous and uncomfortable in my own skin around people. I feel so inhuman.
Not in the 'hur I'm aktualy otherkin' sense, but it a way that makes me feel like I'm an alien or kind of otherworldly...thing not fit for human interaction.
There's a chance I've pissed away a year of my life.
I forgot to hand an essay in at the end of first year and am waiting to see the results of my appeal. If it hasn't gone through, I have to stop doing second year now and am stuck waiting till the end of the uni year to redo that essay then begin second year again next september.
I've never felt completely confident about the course I'm doing, I'm good at journalism but see nothing but stress and financial difficulty if I choose to continue with it.
If the appeal goes through I'll carry on - I'm almost halfway through, I can't give up now. If not I don't know what I'll do, another year at uni doing a degree I hate? Drop out and find a job? Or switch degrees, be 2 years behind all the other freshers but know for sure what I'm doing is something with a career I'll enjoy ahead of me.
Thing is, I have no idea what that is. All my life I've just bounced from job idea to job idea, never holding on to a single one for more than a couple of months. I have a couple months experience in most everything surrounding the entertainment industry but not enough skill in any individual one to get a career.
19 years old med student, never kissed a girl, never had sex with a girl. The most pussy I had was seeing pregnant women giving birth in in loco class.
>>16363729
That means I am a failure.
>>16363729
20 year old student here, we're in the same boat mate, don't obsess over it, stop worrying.
I lost my mind in 2014, joined dating sites, posted ads, did everything I could to finally get a gf. All it did was make me clingy as fuck when I finally had a girl into me and it fucked me over in terms of my education.
I scared her off in less than a week because of how obsessed I became with her. Still kissless, still a virgin, but hey, at least I've seen a girl's tits now I guess. At the cost of stopping all the progress I was doing in terms of education because of losing her.
Look, 19's nothing mate. We've got our entire fucking lives ahead of us. You're a med student for Pete's sake, you're going to be drowning in pussy once you graduate.
But you have to learn to stand on our own before you can stand a chance with others. You aren't a failure because you haven't had a girlfriend yet, you're a failure because you're letting that make you believe you are one.
You're a fucking med student. You've succeeded more than most people your age so far, don't let one weak link break the chain just because other, weaker chains, have a stronger version of that link. 10 years time you'll be better off, with more women under your belt, than any of your peers right now can imagine. Just make the rest of the chain stronger and it'll strengthen that weak link with it.
>>16363442
Same here and I realize this as well. Your distant love keeps me afloat too. Maybe one day again.
I know I shouldn't do it but I can't help but compare myself to others. I'm not even surrounded by average people so it's pointless. For example, I can't help but be jealous of some people in some of my courses because they're richer and have better grades than me (not because they're more talented, but because of external circumstances,mostly luck and their parents' money to travel abroad). I could ignore it by myself, but they won't stop reminding me that it's "weird" or even "wrong" that I don't do things they can afford, like I'm a disgusting weirdo. I can't relate to most people because of that and it feels awful.
I'm still not dead yet! About to throw my mattress in my truck and cash out my checking and savings account and head west.
If I don't die from exposure or get shot at a truck stop I might be better off.
I have an appointment with an endocrinologist I don't know to see if my treatement for GH defficiency didn't have any dangerous side effects. But I had my diagnosis when I was 7, so I forgot a lot about the treatment and the ghd itself. I'm scared of what the doctor will tell me. It's not even like I knew other people who had the same problem as me and who could give me explainations, so I'm going to make a fool of myself in front of the doc. What do I ask him?
>>16363881
Do not worry bro. If you have GH defficiency, hormonal suplementation should have no serious side effects. But well, your doctor will know. And no doctor can recommend medicine that can hurt you for no reason. It is in our oath!
I asked this girl if she wanted to continue dating and hanging out but because I added an exclamation mark it just came off as really weird and awkward. It was either asking her to hang or asking her to sext/play around so I played it safe.
Like, I'm talking to a girl who seems like it could go either way and I imagine that once I finish my cut she'll be into me and I prefer her to the girl I've just messaged because she's taller and, to me, that makes me feel like she's stronger and more dependent.
This is why I've never bothered with relationships tbh. I would much rather casual dating than being fully committed until I get my own place.
>>16363898
Thanks that's good to know! But it wasn't for "no reason" because my previous doctor calculated that I was going to be at most 1m45 tall at most without the treatment from what I can recall (currently I'm 1m58 but I'm a young woman so it's still considered "acceptable"). 1m45 would have fucked up people' perception of me for sure.
>>16361906
>maturity
Going to reddit sounds like a good idea actually.
I wish I could get girls to like me as easily as my friends do
>>16363955
Idem here.
(Cries in the corner)
>>16363849
How long were you together?
I never asked for these feelings but now I'm stuck with them. Shouldn't of got involved. I never wanted this
Nobody cares but..
Damn it. Even the extremly poor farmers in damn Malavi who sleep on the floor still have gfs, wives and kids.
I am probably over 100 000 times wealthier than these guys, and i have everything i need besides i have to work most of the time.
But for fucks sake, why can't i get a gf? Why can't i have a family. Why am i doomed to live my life isolated from most people just because i happen to be an average white guy with not so many friends and not so many interesting hobbies.
Am i really such a bad person that im worse than these people at the ultimate bottom of society in the world?
Should i accept this fate?
>>16364174
>Should i accept this fate?
yes
I'm never going to get over June 29th. It's the day that I fell from my high. The day I learned that loyalty doesn't mean what I thought it did. The day I got told that I need to rethink everything I had done for the past four years. The day I walked into my first real job interview, got asked the "gotcha" questions I thought I was prepared for. The day I learned that the truth means nothing. The day I learned the true meaning of insider politics. That I can't trust anyone.
All I do is replay it in my head. Replay getting told "Well, it didn't work this time and went with someone else. But if we have another opening, we'd love for you to give it another shot."
Try again? If you didn't want me the first time, why would you want me to try again? Either I'm good enough for you or I'm not. If you give me another shot, are you really 100% trusting me? Are you really wanting to hire me? No, you're not. And I swear if for some reason I walk back into that room for another interview and you start with anything that references that interview, I'm going to call you out on being unprofessional and I'm going to walk out. I'm not going to sit there and take that from you.
You had your chance. You had your chance to lock me up for 30+ years. Someone who had roots in this town. Someone you could count on to not leave at the drop of a hat. But no. You thought that wasn't enough. You didn't trust me. You didn't have confidence in me.
But you think I've tried to make myself better? I wish I could say I did. But every time I start, all this floods back. I just get angry. I get upset. I get depressed. The seeds of doubt you planted are growing. You've made me think you're right, that I'm not cut out for this. And yet deep down I know I am. I've done it. I think back to when I was on top of my game. And I wish I could channel enough for that to make myself better again.
I need to believe in myself and I was, not who you're turning me in to.
I'm starting to think I have serious job seeking/application anxiety.
I currently have a job right now that I'm honestly embarrassed to tell people about. It doesn't make good money and I don't really like most of what I'm doing. I still have to live with my parents who are on social security.
I have no idea what to do with my life. And every job listing out there either has too many requirements or is a job that would cause me to hate life even more if I took it. When I try to apply to a job, the whole process causes me to be nervous the whole time until I stop trying and do sometime else. It was very hard for me to even get the job the have now.
My family members are giving me flack about me not getting a better job and it only makes me not want to bother anymore.
I feel like a fallen person. My future seemed so bright when I entered college. How did I reach this point? I know how. No matter where I went, I couldn't make any meaningful friendships nor could I do well in school like I used to. The first time I stayed overnight on campus during orientation, I had a premonition of pure loneliness. I ignored it and it came true.
I wish I could redo the last 6 years.
I wish I knew what to do.
see you fuckers complain about your partners to the smallest detail everyday, I feel like I'm watching Seinfeld meanwhile I feel stranded in a dessert and you have the guts to tell me how I should feel, how the fuck do you know how should I feel?
>>16363479
Anon, this is beautiful, you should be a writer.
I need physical contact NOW.
>>16363479
Any advice on >>16364740
>>16361394
I wouldn't even know what to say; I'd honest to god swoon and faint. We live in the same town and go to the same places, maybe I'll see him one day.
>probably not
My ex and I broke up about 9 months ago I still miss her I think about her everyday everyday when I wake up and every night before I go to sleep I can't help it I try to forget about her but I can't it's been so long but yet she still on my mind I don't know why god help me I'm currently talking to someone else right now but she's always on my mind I feel bad for the person I'm talking to because every time I talk to him she's still on my mind I loved this girl with all my heart and she just left me hanging high and dry it hurts now that I think about it she was my sunshine she gave me a reason to look forward to waking in the morning I can honestly say I forgot what it felt like to be happy until I met her she gave me a spark and now I feel like it's gone I feel as if no one elses going to fill that hole that she filled I miss her so much I still care about her once in a while I'll text her I don't know why its pointless I know she won't reply everytime I think about her I try to push her as far ahead as possible but she just keeps on creeping up on me she gave me hope she brought me back to life now I just feel like an empty shell I try to paint a pretty picture on the outside but on the inside I'm just so damn empty
I still love you Ruba I hope you're happy I hope you're loved and sometimes I wonder if you think about me just as much as I think about you sometimes I see something that reminds me of you or reminds me of something that you said and for a brief second I feel happy again
Oh You make me smile
Had sex with my girlfriend's lesbian friend who just recently got back together with her ex-girlfriend who cheated on her. I don't feel bad in the slightest. I actually feel slightly alpha. Guess I'm just a shitty person.
I would genuinely be interested in finding out if would enjoy murdering somebody. I don't particularly care about other people, at least not people I have a connection with. It might be fun, like satisfying a primal urge. Wouldn't risk the trouble though. That's about all it comes down to. But I wonder if one day, if the situation presents itself, I'd be totally okay killing another person in cold blood.
>>16364861
This is why I'm terrified of relationships.
>>16364888
Don't be. Relationships are about enjoying one another.
>>16364895
And then enjoying someone else on the side
fucking whores
>>16359877
Strangers on 4chan are the only people I have left to talk to.
I had two friends but one parted ways a few years after college when he moved. The other has found more interesting people to be around after moving and no longer calls me or messages me unless I contact her first.
I've been told that I'm "gifted" and "talented" as I was growing up but have had zero ambition in life since junior high and just squandered my skills by playing EverQuest and WoW instead. I'm a serious and cynical person and I don't particularly like anything about myself. In fact, if I met me at a party, I'd be like "that guy's an ass".
I've met some people that have similar interests as I do (watches anime, plays games) but 9 out of 10 times they all like my least favorite things so I have absolutely nothing to talk to them about. Often they're shocked that I don't like Attack on Titan or Death Note and want to argue about why it's the Greatest of All Time which just irritates me and causes me to go Gran Autismo and rip in to their favorite shit and tear it apart.
I'm told I'm handsome occasionally. I disagree.
I have zero self-confidence and people often take what I say the absolute wrong way from how I meant it to come out.
I look unapproachable but the only thing I've wanted my whole life is for somebody to invite me to hang out with them or go somewhere just once. My whole life I would hear other people talking about the party that everybody was at. Or I'd hear my "friends" talk about how they all went mini-golfing or whatever the fuck then ask what I had done that weekend (leveled my high elf cleric).
The only times I get invited somewhere is if I overhear plans being discussed and ask about it such as who's going.
tl;dr - I don't like myself, and it doesn't seem like there's anybody out there who wants to actually be around me
I've contemplated suicide 3 times in the past 2 years.
>>16364861
I cheated on my now ex-wife with my lesbian best friend. Then I slept with her again. She's engaged but I'm probably going to do it again. Because who really gives a fuck? I don't and to be honest that's all that matters.
I just really like spoiling my boyfriend. I'm a bit upset right now, so it's good to think about nice things right now.
He's pretty sweet, so I love giving him things. Like games and baked goods. I just like making him happy. I wish I could cook for him every day.
He's just a swell person. I hope your day was better than mine /adv/
I'm tired of people showing me time and time again why I hate them...why I'm better off not interacting with them. Especially why I'm better off not getting too close to them. Why the fuck didn't you think further ahead? You knew how fragile I was, yet you blew through me like a fucking tornado with no thought for my regard. I really didn't need this. Before you destroy another person, make sure you know what you fucking want before you ask for it. I was doing so fucking good staying happy on my own. I had actually started to get the hang of it. Then you ruined that. I don't know how or why I got attached so quick. I knew I had something to be fearful of but you reassured me that there wasn't anything to be fearful of. Thanks. Lesson learned. What I learned today: we're seriously better off alone...and it makes me so sad.
>Pic related
>>16364917
I hope you burn alive
>>16364935
Yes...let the hate flow through you
>>16364935
>>16364950
The flow has been strong for awhile...just recently reaffirmed.
>>16364950
Me too
Or just a comfy death in my sleep, that's good too.
>>16364895
I don't want to enjoy lies.
I just want to lose weight and break out of this cycle.
Also, I realize in the grand scheme of things I am the same as everyone else and am in no way a special snowflake.
Stuck in this world that is neither good nor evil.
I once saw the world through childish eyes where the good guys always win, no one with a conscience would ignore you, people are naturally good natured, and bad people always get their just desserts.
Well, I suppose what else can you think as a poor American raised on capitalism and cartoons?
Naively I wanted to believe it, but the world is mostly rotten, save for souls who are more pure than I, though few I have met I know they exist.
And I myself, a selfish douchebag through necessity am if I ever was at one point, no longer good and pure. I am a wretch who strives to fulfill his own desires just like every other person.
>>16364961
Hate will make you powerful
>>16364962
Your soul will be mine
I tried for so long to be cool calm and collect.
Now I'm wishing a group of people would jump your ass to knock some common sense into you.
You completely disgust me and I wish I wasn't too nice for my own good.
A few years ago when we first met, I noticed a few things were off about you. I ignored them, after all everybody has their quirks.
As time went by, I started to get bad vibes from you again. When things ended between us, it was like a viral infection that reached wide and far.
You been dead to me yet you insist on trying to stick around to make yourself look like the victim.
All the bs you have put me through the years and knowing you get to walk around when you have said and done some truly fucked up shit is starting to piss me off. I tried to ignore you and ignore your existence, I finally snapped.
I hope you get your ass jumped and beat to a bloody pulp for all the bs you have created.
Normally I'm not one to get overly angry, I'm just done dealing with this crap.
Tired of being too nice and tired of being mentally exhausted by inviting the wrong people into my life.
I'm going to be starting fresh any way luckily......still hope I can see you get your ass kicked before I move.
I'm sure that will keep your mouth shut.
>>16364961
>>16364996
Honestly, I just wish people weren't so horrendous.
>>16364987
If you hate yourself so much, punish yourself by barely eating. One meal a day or none, whatever. Suffer, and learn to enjoy the pain. Resort to bulimia if you have to. Until you're thin and better and ready to become someone you can love. Then enjoy a life being better than other people and punishing them for it. That's my plan.
>>16365015
Well they are
They wont hesitate to rape you, behead you, flay you, crucify you, hang you, beat you, burn you, whip you, punch you, shoot you and the list goes on
>>16364897
You sound so fucking insecure. Hurry up and get fucked.
>>16364964
Ehh, how can someone enjoy you with your attitude?
>>16365017
Existing alone is punishment enough isn't it?
I'm a very love driven individual actually. I think with one good woman I could be a very happy man, and perhaps even a better person.
I do eat less than I did, and at 240 I've come a long way from 350. People tell me I look better than I ever did.
Which is hilarious because it tells me they thought I looked like shit before. The shallowness of people will never cease to amuse me.
I have hope because when I become a good looking stud, I can act however I want and no one will judge me for it because I have a pretty face.
>>16365030
>insecure
>literally millions of examples of people cheating
>>16365036
Fuck off selfishfag
>>16364885
Do you really want to open Pandora's box? Will it be worth it?
>>16364901
Dude get help. You've to look for the good and silver lining!
https:// www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=suicidal+number
>>16365064
The silver lining of the dagger people drive into you at any opportunity to get ahead oh yes i've seen the silver lining
I feel like a sixteen year old lost in an adult's world. I'm actually twenty-one
>>16365076
They won if they've broken you.
Like Rocky said it's not how hard you can punch it's about how hard you can get punch and still get up to fight.
Sylvester Stallone wrote a book about his life, worth the read if you think you got it worse than everyone else.
>>16365093
Yea it's called growing up, get use to it. Main thing is to be responsible and having goals.
>>16365101
Why get hit at all? Strike first and stay hidden
>>16365050
Nah, like I said, don't fancy wasting the rest of my life in prison.
>>16365117
Depends on what you want out of life self gratification or successful life to be proud of.
>>16365133
gratification and pride...useless
>>16365145
Man sinking your own boat wont get you anywhere you got to start valuing your life.
To "Crowley":
There is a point where I just can't be sympathetic anymore. You talk about your life being "ruined" and how you're "always going to be alone because no guy finds you attractive and your genetics are cursed" since your sister's mentally deficient. You go on and on about how miserable you are; how your mother's a raging nitpicky bitch; how you're constantly having anxiety problems.
I know damn well 95% of your problems could be fixed by you leaving that shithole college of yours and telling your cunt of a mother to go fuck herself. Which I have told you. I even gave you the psychological equivalent of this advice. Hell, your own THERAPIST told you that this environment was giving you PTSD symptomology and I told you my mother went through the same thing, and the only thing that saved her from an early stress-related demise was getting the fuck away of her job.
And you still refuse to take any of this advice. And surprise! You're still miserable! IT DOESN'T TAKE AN ENGINEERING MAJOR TO FIGURE THAT SHIT OUT.
If you're going to continue to wallow in your own misery instead of saying "enough is enough I'm not putting up with this anymore" then I just don't have any more fucks to give.
Sincerely,
"Dragon"
>>16365159
My boat is an ark that will ferry the souls of the enemies I vanquish to hell
>>16364902
I just feel like I SHOULD feel... something. Most days I just feel nothing. And I really don't care and that worries me.
I'm 23, never been kissed, had sex, or even been in a relationship.
And I'm not bothered by that. I'm actually happy by myself.
What bothers me is that I have a hard time giving a shit about everyone else's relationship problems. Listening to my friends complain about strife in their marriages or trying to get a date or something similar just fucking annoys me and I mentally shut down and inevitably end up tuning them out.
I'm almost certain this isn't some cliche sociopathic trait but this lack of empathy can't be normal by any stretch of the imagination.
>>16365199
dubs say you should feel something
I think I'm turning into a horrible person. I don't even think I should share why.
The things that are on my mind are just awful. I'm not even disturbed by them. Just afraid I might turn into a monster.
I almost like the idea of me being the most evil and disgusting human being in the world.
I FUCKING HATE CALIFORINA!
>>16365272
Meh, you sound like a bitch.
>>16365253
We all get tired and feed up with other people problems.
Just ask them not to talk about that shit around you because its not interesting to you.
If they start talking about it remember them and if they don't stop just leave.
>>16365280
That's not very nice to tell someone spilling their hearts out, anon.
And don't give me that "Truth hurts" bullshit line
>>16365285
A knife wound hurts.
The truth is just annoying.
>>16365272
You might just be in a depression best advice would to talk to some about it like a psy, you might be having mild schizophrenia.
Look it up and see if that's how you feel.
>>16365277
Iktf, one of my major issues right now is my parents moved my family from L.A to vancouver BC when I was 12, and when I was 18 they moved to Santa Cruz. Now they want me to move back to CA but I just despise the entire state after being in Canada. I don't even know why or what changed my opinion. As a kid I loved L.A
Why do you hate it?
>break up about 3 months ago(mutual decision)
>breakup isnt messy or shitty, go our seperate ways
>about a month ago start thinking about her and how great it was to be with her
>run into her at a party tonight
>talk a little about trivial shit
>want to tell her how i feel so maybe we can try again
>cant get it out
>finish my booze and stumble home pissed at myself
i dont know why i havent gotten over it yet, but i somehow end up thinking about it nearly every day and its killing me, it feels like theres a hole in my chest, and i know it would be a terrible idea and unfair to her to bring it back up but i cant keep it out of my mind.
my hobbies dont distract me enough for me to stop thinking about it
>Have a great game idea
>Can do basic modeling
>Don't have programmer bro
Life is suffering.
>>16365332
kickstarter
>>16365348
Not that easy. I need a programmer and a basic level first before I can use scamstarter.
>>16365298
I'm from California and I moved to NY. I hate it. It's cold, it smells, I can't drive, and there's not enough Chinese food variety.
>>16365371
how long ago did you move? maybe time will change you.
I also know that feel, but its the feeling when there is no good take out except persian and asian. And the fastfood here sucks. And food prices are high, and alcohol is ridiculously overpriced. And vancouver is 3rd most expensive city to live in right now. Rent costs here are a joke.
I've lost all motivation to do anything. I don't like playing music or drawing anymore. I've left my roleplaying group because I've lost inspiration and feel like it's an overwhelmingly monumental task to participate these days.
Video games bore me, there's nothing worth watching on TV, I can't get past the first chapter of any book I pick up now.
Even my job as a programmer drags on and I count down the hours and minutes until I can get home, strip my clothes off, and just sleep.
Even porn has lost it's appeal to me. I go through a few pages and my dick, it does nothing.
I've been fine on my own for my entire life and suddenly it's like decades of loneliness has swept in all at once. It's like a wet wool blanket is draped over me.
>>16365593
Get a girlfriend, a pet, or a psy.
>>16365631
I have a cat.
What is a psy?
Old kissless virgin. Not enough confidence. Wouldn't know how to ask a girl out.
>>16365713
Get another cat.
You want the easy way out of feeling lonely.
We can all change and repeating excuses to yourself will never help you getting the motivation for the first step.
I miss my friends. I want to see them again but it's hard to get people together.
I'll see my therapist in a few hours.
I am probably finally gonna flat out tell him that I love my cousins. I have always chickened out when I have tried to tell it previously.
Who knows how he will react.
>>16365731
I'm not really fond of cats much. This one's pretty chill but he can be an absolute cunt at times.
>>16359877
i think it's the meds, but i dont want to kill myself any more, but i dont give a shit about being alive either. too numb to care about anything.
I hate, fucking despise EVERY user on /b/.
If you're on /b/ I wish I could throttle you all.
Fuck fuck FUCK ALL OF YOU!
>>16366046
It's okay, tell your therapist everything. He's supposed to help you, it’s their job.
>>16366087
I guess so.
I obsessively check the blogs of the people that have harmed me the most in my life and I cannot understand why I do this.
>>16366102
Way too little amount of information.
Maybe you get a kick out of self-harming your emotions.
Maybe you've a hard time letting go.
Id recommend to ignore your urges(block the website's) and build some self worth.
Also keeping busy with activities.
hope all you want but it's you that will burn for what you did and said
Good riddance
>>16359897
Dear world,
Thanks for everything. You are awesome and been too good to me. I have your back like you do with mine.
Anon
>>16365009
Don't twist things around blue it was you who and your relatives that created this situation. Your MLM failings are not my fault, nor is your high almighty attitude and nor is your vile toxic tongue. I treated you like how I was treated in the end. I tried to be a friend.
I made mistakes but I apologized. You on the other hand. You are a psychopath.
Thanks for everything you have written. Trust me buddy keep going with this. Everything is being saved.
1/2
You're waiting for someone to put you together, yet you push them away. Waiting for someone to “save” you, but what is it that you’re really waiting for? You talk about how all you want is a guy who’d do anything for you. You're a liar. I don't think that you even know what you're looking for. I’ve tried to be everything you want, everything you need, but I mean absolutely nothing to you and I don't know why. The more your hopes and dreams fill my head the farther that I fall for you! I guess if someone doesn't love you back it really isn't such a crime, but still you lead me on and waste my time. I don't have the time to waste on you anymore. So I tried to forget you, and hope that eventually how I felt would go away. For my own sanity, I decided to close the door on us. Hoping that when I forget you, maybe I'd stop feeling so bad, and you know what? Not a day goes by that I don’t think about you. Not a single day. Even after everything, you're still somehow part of my life, and you won’t go away. Everyday, wanting you to notice when I'm not around. Everyday, thinking, “When will this end?” “When will I start forgetting?” And everyday I go on thinking, and thinking, and I never stop. Every single day. I’m going insane! If I were senseless, I'd prefer it! And you just sit tight and watch it unwind. It's exactly what you want! You, the Queen of Hearts, what would you do for me if I needed you? Absolutely nothing!
>>16366361
2/2
And you want to know the worst part? I’d still do anything to make you happy. It never took any convincing for me to always believe in you. I’d die for you, and I’m not sure if it’s because you mean that much to me, or if I’m that worthless to myself. If I could start it all over again, I’d go far away and keep myself from you. I don't want you to hurt, and I don't want you to fail. But you know what? I think you'll be just fine! You've got your short sad life left, at least, that's what I'm counting on. I'll let you get right to it. You're someone else's problem now. Go make some new disaster! Right now, I want you gone. Take all the dreams you've sown. Take all your lies and leave me alone.
Blah blah blah troll posters always post after mines with nonsense :p
Who goes whining about women? Oh right women.
-Seeya adv
>>16366363
MLM
>>16366046
I finally did it!
I told him that I have fallen in love with my cousins, he didn't react in a hostile manner like I was afraid he would.
We had a good discussion about the reasons for my feelings towards my cousins, the nature of my feelings, and my fears related to all this. He was very understanding, and not judgmental at all.
I feel like a big burden has finally left my chest. I have never told anyone in real life what I feel towards the girls this straightforwardly, outside of the girls themselves.
My therapist urged me to talk about this with my mother, whom I fear might be suspicious about the nature of my relationship with my cousins, but I am still too afraid of how she might react. Few weeks ago, when I was visiting my cousins, I could have possibly stayed there for few more nights, but my mother told me that I couldn't. When I asked why, she just told me "You know why" very aggressively, which didn't answer my question at all. I don't want her to think that I am some sort of pedophile trying to get into my cousins pants.
>>16366490
>I don't want her to think that I am some sort of pedophile trying to get into my cousins pants.
she already thinks/suspects that you are anon. Which is why she said 'you know why' when you wanted to stay with the girls longer
>>16366502
Could be, or could be not. That is probably why my therapist urged to discuss this thing trough with her, but again, I am super afraid of how she would react if I flat out told her that I love those girls.
>>16365040
Jesus Christ you're just as shit as those "alpha normies" you bitch about, your ego is as frail as an egg, have fun with the love and affection of the general populace
![I-know-that-feel-bro-blank[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/MrSDAYN.jpg "I-know-that-feel-bro-blank[1].jpg")
>>16366361
The genderbent version of this.
I don't bother even trying anything anymore because I know there's no point and I'll just fuck everything up again
>>16365017
don't do bulimia
it doesn't work if you do it safely. you'll stay at the same weight or go higher
and it will kill you if you manage to do it effectively. water flushing will. kill. you. you won't make it to 5 years if you do this regularly.
i almost died from an arrhythmia like this
I think i'm starting to get out of 10 year long depression . It has left it's marks tho but i don't feel really miserable anymore .
this cymbalta + wellbutrin combo is working great
i have fuck all of an appetite
but i sweat like a pig
feel pretty okay though, getting the motivation and energy back
No matter how much we love each other, the relationship has become pointless.
Boss
Fuck you for telling me I should be working on vacation after taking care of your children for so long.
and I really can't decide where I should be working on if I don't have an idea of the full picture. Honestly, most of the advice we get here serves for absolutely nothing.
