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Didn't see one
Sometimes I want to post a thread about my relationship issues but I don't because its done a lot I think and that I probably wouldnt like the advice I'd get anyways.
:/
I wish I had a road dog
oh man here it goes
i think my problems date back to two events in my childhood
one) when i was stripped away from my aunt who had raised me from todler to kindergardener and sent to my parents. i think the change was too much since both my parents had their own issues and frankly werent ready to raise a kid. my dad had a temper problem coupled with drinking and smoking issue that led him to be some what abusive on me and my mum. my mother , i still cant figure out, maybe she flat out wasnt ready or didnt know how to raise a kid. so i got beat a lot in contrast to living with my aunt where there were few consequences and at the end of the day i just got to chill with my cousins and learn from them. now im just alone and an only child. I know this is a major problem for me because i grew fearful of my parents and people noticed
two) in 1st grade there was a girl, ill call her "a", kids would always make fun of her i forget the details maybe she was autistic or something but she also had bad hygiene most noticable was yellow teeth. i would feel bad for her inside but ouside i mostly just followed with the other kids. one day for her mom came with her for some kind of back to school event. everything was different all the kids were acting nice like she was one of us and she and her mother were just oblivious to what was going on. even when i almost blew it before i caught on to what was hapening. this event in its self isnt what affected me but later i was also bullied. only reason i remember is how my mother always dressed me with tucked in button up shirts (im spic). one day it went pretty shitty and i ended up crying in the lunch line (i was still just a kid but by now i had stopped wearing button-ups). eventually things got better.
No gf in a year. Ex gf found someone new. I felt really happy for her because now I never have to speak to her again. (She wanted to try the friends thing and it was killing me) I'm super content with life rn, things are going great. I'm happy with living and being on my own, but it would be nice once in a while to have some female companionship again. However, being single does come with some perks....
>I was much more content when I was a kissless loser.
>>16313432
cont.
durring mid elementary things got better i had friends,a best friend and got along with people i even became a pretty chill bus patrol. but whenever i got bullied i just thought back to the memory of the day that kids mom came and just felt cursed by it. which acctuall picked up again durring middle school it was shitty cause they were arbitrary reasons to make anone look lame. and i just got quiet as it progressed and just grew into the cold bastard i am today. im not very mad though it built carachter.
I wake up every day, disappointed that I didn't die while I slept.
I feel like I'm not gonna amount to anything in life. my songs are stupid, I'm bad at keeping a job, and im an ugly sterile transgirl
I just got rejected again
This time...I'm honestly ok. Yeah, it sucks being rejected but I'm ok. It helps that she was nice about letting me down but she's honestly been fun. Look forward to hanging out with her s'more.
I guess this is just part of the process, getting comfortable more and more with rejections.
Yesterday i started cutting myself again.
I am 28 years old.
Had a dark conversation with a friend about our pasts and one topic led to another and I came to a startling realisation I seem to have repressed or didnt think about. I was sexually abused and raped by my ex gf. Its important because it was 7 years ago I left her and upon realising it i made a startling connection to repeated sexual problems I have had since that persists even into my current 2 year relationship that I could never explain and always had excuses (I thought were true) for. I think part of the reason it took so long is our cultural perception women can't rape men, so the word and feeling never surfaced. Take this as an awareness post.
We were together 5 years. The first 2 were great but I felt it was time to move on with our lives and take different paths. I broke up with her. That was the beginning of the nightmare. She had serious baggage and abandonment issues that surfaced out of nowhere.
Con't (on cellphone sorry for slow typing)
I just wish someone would love me. I don't even care if they're a guy or girl, just someone who can tell me "i love you". All i crave in this world is some form of love but i'm too scared and stubborn to look for it. I'm a gross, selfish, cowardly bastard who deserves nothing but dreams of something nice and nothing more. Honestly i just wanna die, that's what i want more than love, death. Just fucking kill me so i can put my mind to ease for god's sake.
>>16313215
I claim I could never have a relationship, and most of a time that's true. I wouldn't function in one. I would want it to work but I know it wouldn't. I know that some people might think it's a silly thing to complain about, but it's a problem in my life nonetheless.
I really rarely cry. I want to be able to cry when I'm sad because I think it'd be like a relief getting it all out of me. Last time I cried was last year when my grandpa died. Not because he died, that was pretty expected from all that drinking and smoking, but because of me not feeling sad and seeing my grandma in tears. Why didn't I get sad? I still get a sense of inhumanity when I think of my reaction to his funeral. We had a great relation and I just stood there.
I had a few friend relationships last year and before that it was more. It's like it's exponentually gone down. 3 friends in middleschool, 2 in college, 1 last year when I took a break from studying to work, and none now in university. People said I'd meet lots of new kind people, and I can't say I haven't but none has tried to make contact with me or approached me even if I tried to. I can't blame them, I wouldn't talk to me either. The issue is that I don't really want to get close with people, and I've been told that relations are much needed to prevent depression and whatnot. I've constantly been on the borderline of suicidal since last year of college. Is this because I have no friends? I worry it is, hope it isn't.
>>16313699
>I really rarely cry. I want to be able to cry when I'm sad because I think it'd be like a relief getting it all out of me. Last time I cried was last year when my grandpa died. Not because he died, that was pretty expected from all that drinking and smoking, but because of me not feeling sad and seeing my grandma in tears. Why didn't I get sad? I still get a sense of inhumanity when I think of my reaction to his funeral. We had a great relation and I just stood there.
I know this way too well anon. I feel you, i truly do.
I wish my ex never went so deep into drugs and alcohol. He's done so many bad things and I know he blames me for many of them but I tried so many times to calm him down. I feel like I wasted years of my life and yet I thought of him today. His view of reality is just becoming more and more twisted.
It kind of came on slow and seemless. I wrote out a long winded story, too long and rambly but ill get to the point.
She basically was a cutter and an overdoser and i was very insecure at the time. Beta as you call it here. I feared her killing herself would be my fault even though it really wasnt and its a chip she used to drag out the relationship along with the fact we had the odd spurt of a really good week together.
But by year 4 i was so drained out dragged out and done with the relationship i even lost all sexual attraction to her.
This made her very angry. Refusing to have sex with her (which she wanted daily) turned into a show of threats screaming and one time she even grabbed a knife and just ran it right across her stomach drawing blood.
Another time she straight up left the room made a noose without me knowing called me in and hung herself and made me watch. (i rescued her fast obviously, she didnt kick the chair over. Dont ask how she didnt damage her neck.. I dont know.)
So sex became a thing i just did to not have that episode. It was out of fear instead of lust. She would always initiate and i would just go along with it.
I got out of the relationship when i was so done that i actually wanted her dead. We went to seperate universities and i made friends and gained confidence. But she was still there in the way.
Eventually i left. Stopped responding to endless threatening emails. Stopped picking up my phone and stopped seeking to help her. I wanted her to just fucking die.
One day she stopped. She left me alone forever. Shes still alive, too. Doing well for herself so i hear.
Now to continue to how im affected to this day. If anyone has advice id love it.
>>16313744
>>16313672
These go together. Im sorry.
So as i said, i gained confidence. Became social, learned to talk to girls and managed to normalise my life quite well and be not beta. Managed to have flings gfs one night stands what have you.
Heres what i never noticed until i realised this a few days ago. In all sexual situations i must be the initiator. If i am not, i freeze. Straight up freeze like a nervous virgin. I am not nervous, im more numb and agitated. But the point is my arms drop and i stiffen up, im put off completely, or i get distracted change the subject and try to walk away. (guise.. I missed out on aome fuckin 10s cause of this).
But whats really bad is im in a relationship. A very good one at that. Thing is she goes through spurts where she initiates a lot and i never want to. After sometime she gives up feeling all unwanted and like im unnattarcted to her. Shes even accused me of having no sex drive (NOT true. If anything its too high) and shell stop trying. The day she stops trying is the day our sex life picks up again. Because now i have a chance to initiate when im ready instead of having it blown because she straddled me when i got home from work or groped my dick or what have you.
Open questions:
Do i tell her?
Do i need help?
Can i help myself?
Do you think my past relationship experience even caused this?
>>16313689
I feel ya friend.
I'm 20, virgin, male with mild autism. I can't drive because it causes over stimulation and I just black out because of it. Just got my GED and I was self taught so I have ambitions at least. Here goes the sob story.
>I was mute until age 9
>I was home schooled because I didn't have any friends in public school and well I was mute around other kids.
>Teachers thought I had a dead parent because of my behavior.
>Dad is a workaholic. I know he loves me but he was never there for me emotionally.
>I got so bored with people I didn't leave the house in middle school.
>My only friend from childhood gets cancer and moves away.
>Get beaten up by kids at church, get beaten up by this peculiar girl who enjoyed hurting me.
>I didn't know how to handle hamsters and I almost killed my sister's. I still hate myself because of this.
>Brother becomes drug addict and abandons me.
>Dad slowly becomes spineless and lives his youth through my brother.
>Meet emo kids in high school
>Cute one has all these affairs and tells me it's rape.
>I freak out and beat up her friends because she told me it was rape.
>She cheated on her boyfriend with 5 guys... I made a fool of myself.
>Go out with attractive writer from college.
>She says I can't hold a conversation, she was a total SJW who later became a lesbian.
>Her taste in books were rather pleb in all honesty.
>Art teacher says my art isn't realistic at all and that I'm emotionally disturbed.
>Boss from work mocks me in front of workers/shoppers.
>Drama teacher tells me about her sex toy collection for no reason and that she will masturbate after class. I later tell her I had jerk off fantasies about her. She was horrified that I said this.
>I fear STDs and childbirth
>I jerked off via omegle once.
>>16313781
Shit anon i wish i could give you a hug, you deserve one.
>>16313663
Initials?
Never had these thoughts before, but I get this itching desire to hurt myself. Not too drastically, like cutting or burning, but through denial of food. I don't feel as if I deserve to sustain myself. I want to fade out.
>>16313870
>>16313890
real initials are V.B.
Every time I find someone I actually agree with they die or get arrested. Idk what that says about me as a person but oh well
i want to tell everybody about my troubles, but im affraid. I got serious issues, but cant get them out of my chest.
At a large music festival recently that I went to with my friends, I saw a girl I went to high school with. I had a crush on her then and she was interested in me. I never went through with it back then. Fast forward to today and I know we're both going for the same major and we're both single at different schools though. But considering that, I didn't say a word to her and walked away with my friends. Why did I do that? How many more times will I say next time? Why can't I give myself nice things?
Im still pissed with you. You said no hard feelings then you go and talk shit about me, IN MY FACE.
5 years meant shit to you apparently, but you could't recognize someone who gave 2 shits about you even if they hit you in the face.
Thanks for nothing.
>>16313913
>on an anonymous image board
>>16313920
Just fucking go.
What do you have to lose?
>>16313925
everybody irl, m8
>>16313529
Why do you want to die, anon?
>>16313689
Anon, email me via [email protected]. Do you play vidya?
>>16313781
>Drama teacher tells me about her sex toy collection for no reason and that she will masturbate after class. I later tell her I had jerk off fantasies about her. She was horrified that I said this.
Fuck what she says man, you keep doin you.
My friends little sister is ridiculously hot and every time I hang with his family it reminds me how stupid age of consent laws are
Im 21 and english, she's 15. She's a twin and her brother you would probably guess to be about 12, meanwhile she has nice tits and a nice ass and hips and a skinny waist
Europe has it right with the age being around 13, 16 is just dumb.
Whatever hormones are getting pumped in the food really do their shit, girls seem to hit puberty and start getting hot so much younger
>Tfw patiently biding my time maintaining a good friendship with my buddies family as he's one of my best friends, and MAYBE, EVENTUALLY, at a family gathering when she's older I might be able to get with her
Its the long game. But god damn she is fine. My buddies family has some god tier girl genetics
i have urges to fuck other guys because i feel my boyfriend doesnt appreciate me. if i could line up another guy id leave him immediately but being alone scares me.
>>16314079
why don't you think he appreciates you? he might just be really bad at portraying emotions.
Ever since I was little, I've had the ability to see ghosts, spirits and dark energy. My mom is an atheist and my dad just believes it's my imagination. To this day I still see ghosts, in my house for some reason it's always in the hallway or in my room. I've seen ghosts at work, at friends houses, and Catalina Island.
I'll list a few examples of my ability.
*all my family members who have died in recent years have contacted me through my dreams. The dream is always extremely colorful, by the end of the dream they tell me I have to go. We wave to each other good bye, like we are going to see each other the next day.
*ive had ghosts walk over my body while sleeping. As they walked past my shoulder, the window blinds shook.
*ive heard people talking in my living room late at night. As I walk into the empty living room, the voices continued until I stood right in the center. The voices stopped.
*ive seen ghosts standing in front of abandoned houses with glowing eyes. My gf who was there with me claims she didn't see anybody.
>>16314096
he acts weird about sex. i dont know if he only wants me for it or he isnt attracted to me at all. but he doesnt text much. stopped complimenting me. started lying about stuff. if i with him , he might make an effort. but hes stopped dojng anything with his life. all he does is play video games, wait a week, start missing me, i stay at his house with him for awhile, we fight, we makeup, i leave, rinse repeat
I dislike the fact that my clean date coincides with the last day of my first trip to see you.
Well, such is life, I guess.
Am I fucked?
I hope not. They are the ones who asked me.
Why should I be worried anyways? I don't have a crush on one of them, right?
It turns out, in my whole life, not once have my Mother, Father and I sat down and shared a meal with each other.
By the way James, you are getting cucked, and Jeremy, do you want pity?
Nothing matters to me anymore.
No one means anything to me.
No activity feels fun anymore.
I feel neither happy nor sad.
I don't even want to change. But rather, find some way to take advantage of this. Find some way to use my lack of care and emotions to benefit this world. To have a purpose.
depressed af, think about suicide daily, don't want to confide in anyone because it'll sound like some fuckin emo song from the early 2000s, pushing away everyone around me, drinking too much, don't want to ask for help or treatment because it's expensive and selfish
i just want someone to talk to about it who i wont hold any obligations to
>on the train
>sit opposite of a qt
>make eye contact with her
>she smiles
>after that she tries her god damn best to avoid eye contact
>we make eye contact one more time
>she smiles once again
>when she's getting out of the train i say "bye"
>she looks back, smiles and says "bye"
What the fuck happened? Am I attractive or creepy?
>>16314743
life can get a whole lot better and you have no idea it's coming
>>16314115
You have schizophrenia
>>16314756
I'm sure it can, but its really fucking hard to see that ever happening. all i can think about, is if something were to happen to x (the literal only reason i haven't killed myself yet) i would off myself without hesitation. i have thought this way for many years and before x there was y. one person i latch onto and pour whatever energy i have into loving and uplifting them. i'm constantly hit with insane final destination type scenarios in my head where i lose x for some ridiculous and unforeseeable reaason and then what's the fucking point of staying alive. there isnt one. i dont care about anyone else and i doubt anyone else cares about me outside of the normal "i should pretend to give a shit because otherwise i'll look bad but really you're an annoying mopey cunt who brings nothing to the table"
>>16314749
people smile to make things less awkward. it can also be a fear response. smiling isn't necessarily encouragement. next time try starting a conversation. you'll find out pretty quick why they were smiling, even if htey don't outright tell you.
>>16314788
you could get a hobby or something
model trains, fishing, whatever
you got a job bro?
>>16314806
i'm constantly trying new hobbies. my whole life i've been trying new things in an attempt to stave off the boredom for half a second. it doesnt stick, it's meaningless handwork and ultimately doesnt matter. i go through the motions. same with work. very, very little brings me any kind of feeling. booze and weed are the only things that reliably make me feel somethign for a short time.
>>16314814
do you have something like a dream life? have you always been depressed?
>>16314823
no. yes. it's just getting really bad lately.
I want to get out of my current relationship. But I'm too afraid to.
She needs constant validation that "I love her". She goes through my personal items without asking. She claims that she wants to marry me because she doesn't want to lose me. And on top of that, she threatens to destroy my property if I do leave her.
I technically lived with her for about 7 months and we had a mutual relationship until a few months ago. I I cannot see sharing my life with her anymore.
My ex's parents are fucking everywhere. Every wedding I go to, on my way to work, calling work to set up services. It's fucking insane. The universe won't let me forget about her. I feel stuck.
I'm not happy. Honestly, I never have felt true happiness.
>>16314957
You think that's bad?
My ex's parents were calling me months after it ended, as she never told her family we broke up. They harassed me for months.
It can always be worse.
FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE LAURA.
I honestly hate the fucking sight of you. You are over here all the time cheating on your boyfriend with my roommate. You act like you own the place and keep making bitchy remarks and laughing it off. Calling our roommate who has a fucking eating disorder fat is not a joke, You are you a fucking cunt. No one likes you and you are abusing your boyfriend emotionally. He's clearly not okay with your cheating. You are an evil bitch and I wish i could cut you out and never see you again. You fucking tumor, foaming cunt faced whore.
I am literally running out of bad adjectives to call you i hate you that much.
>>16315047
thats kinda funny lol what a cunt
I've failed to do anything with my life.
I plan to improve myself all the time, yet never carry through. I want to workout, but I half-ass it. I have no discipline. I'm a pushover. I apologise excessively. I bully others to make myself feel better. I've tried and failed to control my ego. I've let what talent I had go to waste. I'm getting shit grades in school and doing nothing about it. I try to pursue many things, and fail at them. I make excuses for everything. I'm undeniably, irrefutably beta. I set goals which then lay stagnant until they are forgotten. I get angry too easily- a result of my insecurities. I try so hard to impress people. I'm addicted to social media. I compulsively lie in a vain attempt to trick others into believing that I'm not as pathetic as I am. I get jealous hopelessly easily. I blame others for all my failures. Failures are never my fault, instead it's because of my parents, or my upbringing, or the colour of my skin, or God, or some other external factor. I drool over women I will never get. I seek approval from everyone. The second I see a remotely attractive female I try my hardest to impress them by acting. Every single day I tell myself I'll improve, improve, improve, and yet it always ends with 'tomorrow'.
TODAY, that will change. The only reason that will happen is because I will make it happen.
I don't want to live in other's expectations anymore. I don't give a fuck if my friends leave me. Pretending shit is not fun at all.
Got shaky and left work for lunch early to chug 4 beers. I'm a bad, unhealthy person.
>>16313689
I fuckin' feel you man. Same shit right here.
I JUST WANT A CUTE GIRL TO SNUGGLE WITH HOLY SHIT IM NOT THAT FUCKING UGLY
>>16315171
Same thing over here dude.
What is the meaning of existence? The only thing I see when I look at the sides are people dealing with all kinds of suffering, chasing so superficial and silly goals. Everyone has a silly hope that everything will end well, that all gonna be fine, but in reality the world is unfair and will only bring you small gains, and soon or later you will be unnhappy again.
The universe and time are a circle of suffering, pain and anguish that will infinitely happen again and again.
Sorry for my english.
I'm 22 and visiting a shrink. Don't see purpose in life. TBH I shouldn't complain that much, because I have a grandmother who loves me and I have two flats to my name, one of them is in the old town of the city. However, I am not a person of sciences, so I cannot into programming/maths/economics. After that, I am not really in a good education. I am studying to be a teacher of English. What's more, I live in the world suicide capital (Lithuania), so I guess there is some aura of depression here, despite us living a tad better than a big part of the world. I don't know how to explain it, but I am getting depressed very easily as years go by, by people's incompetence, by people drinking in the street, by homeless people in the public transport, by people being assholes and parking anywhere they want, by general unfairness of the world. Not getting sad for a minute, full out depressed, to a point where I cannot even make myself feel pleasure with vidya or movies. Alcohol or interection with friends helps mildly, finlepsin helps a little better. I don't know what I want to do in life and despite other people looking up to me, I am very unconfident about myself, especially as soon as I get home, depression kicks in.
Just posting how happy I feel. There's hope for all of you.
>girl in my English 122 class
>She's asian and comes in with a Wonder Years shirt
>tell her I love that band
>We hit it off
>few days later
>hang out at mall for 3 hours
>class 2 days later
>talking after class
>ask her out
>she says yes
I have a gf now. It's great. There's hope, anons. Stay strong.
I'm starting to feel lonely as fuck even though I have two best friends that I talk to every day. I just want a person of the opposite sex to love and be loved by.
>>16315377
>so I cannot into programming/maths/economics
Anyone could get into that if you're able to focus and have a clear goal. Implying you're a fast learner, how long would it take to realistically get a good job if you can't remember the most primordial math formulas from highschool? Can you work in the meantime as you study? I feel like there are many opportunities but you have to be able to analyze your situation and see what's better for yourself.
I feel like I'm gonna end up being the creepy virgin. I'm turning 21, I've had one relationship that led to nothing in the end. The thing is, I have supportive friends, I do really well in college and have a pretty good job. It's just that one dangling thing that is bothering me. I get told by girls that I have this attractive rugged look so I know I'm not ugly. I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
>>16315649
It's all about perspective and attitude muh nigga.
How is it that I miss you so much I'm losing my mind, and yet I was the one to say this friendship's over?
i still love my ex gf
well, its normal because it was like two months ago since we broke up, but knowing that she left for another country i obsess with the idea that something bad can happen to her.
i just worry too much about it.
>>16315237
I'd snuggle with you.
But.. mostly out of pity, probably. Also, I'm a guy.
the truth is i'm having strong doubts about the job again and i don't think i'll be able to change until i talk to my boss. I guess that's my limit heheh, now everything is just boring and every time i stop to think about what's best for me i come to the conclusion that this may not the right thing.
i know it's a good opportunity (probably) but i'm gonna say it again, this situation is pathetic
Q
I would make love to you and cuddle afterwards to be honest, but you should know that already.
I'm a jealous person. Paranoia cost me a lot of relationships, friendship or otherwise.
Today I unintentionally showed my green side. Again.
And it was for nothing special. Again.
And the girl got upset over it. Again.
I can kill all my emotions, but this green little shit keeps coming back
woman I've been interested in for a couple years but had a boyfriend (who knows i like her but has rejected me) who she just broke up with is hanging out with a new guy and i would like to just ignore it and move on with my life but the idea that she will get with another guy after all that time i've desired to be with her is clouding all the thoughts, i can barely even read a book without it constantly being in the forefront of my counscious. i figure the only choice i have is to ask her out, but even then i don't know if i can watch her be with this guy, i completely get that i'm just being a pussy and i know this also sounds like a situation a highschooler would have but this situation really just seems hopeless for me. ah well
>Met a cute girl a couple of days ago through a mutual friend.
>We talked for a while because our bus was late
>She seems pretty cool, a bit nerdy, shy but also funny.
>Im already fantasizing about being in a relashionship with her
Fuck me, here we go again
Other than wanting to fuck you, i always hung out with you because you had no real friends and i deeply felt sorry for you.
I see that that was a waste of time
I make twice as much as my mom and she's pissed because I have no formal education whereas she has a bachelor's degree. I don't want to say it's because she does things without thinking through the consequences, but she does. She's a lifelong weed smoker, basically, she has large gaps of unemployment, a single (albeit bogus) drug charge, and just red flags.
If I were an employer, I'd think twice about hiring someone like her, bachelor's degree or not. Which makes me feel like I'm a cold, ruthless bitch...but when you're trying to make money you can't take too many chances. Maybe she's been working her ass off her whole life, but she has been all talk, she just bitches about how broke she is and tries to guilt me into buying food.
I'd be fine with it if I hadn't just paid my rent. I keep trying to explain to her that I don't actually make THAT much, my expenses are a bit high right now, but I still pick up the tab when we go out when I'd rather split it. I'm not the one who should be dealing with this, dammit. I'm sick of everyone just whining and not doing anything about it. That's why I stopped liking the one guy I dogged on for so long.
I fucking did something about my shitty situation and I'm tired of people coming to me for sympathy. I'm only 25, I still have a few years left to be completely self absorbed, don't I?
But seriously, don't come to me with your problems if all you want is sympathy. I'm an advisor, not a normal fucking woman. I will not sympathize.
i'm gay
Can I go back to the version of this thread from several years ago and punch myself in the face for ever whining about working in food service?
Fucking made $9-10 an hour with tips, plus gov't assistance and now I'm being run into the ground working in an animal testing lab 60+ mandatory hours, 7 days a week for $11 and I don't qualify for shit. Get headaches from wearing a respirator all day. Hurt my damn shoulder in a way that it's not going to get better without surgery. Too exhausted all the time to have fun. Got lazy and stopped cooking; don't even think I remember how. Apartment is a mess and I have no motivation to clean.
All my overtime pay is going to school where I'm maintaining a 4.0 because I don't want to be poor anymore, but I can't shake the feeling that putting myself through this is going to get me fuck all and I'll just be right back where I started, but 28 instead of 21.
Also foreveralone because I'm too moody and busy and I don't drink or smoke or have money to go out.
I really like you. Will you go out with me?
>>16314776
>>16317645
If you take us to dinner. Alternatively make us dinner.
>27
>psych degree
>telecommute at a start up inputting data and learning about web framework and different languages
>not in debt, but not making money
>live at home with single mother
>want to go to grad school in cs and do data science as a career, but have no money. Waiting response on gov job.
>only few friends in real life. No online friends. Single.
>struggle with depression from time to time. Trying not to crack.
Thanks for reading.
>25
>make friends with a group who are 19-21 age group in a class
>have a lot of similar interests with all of them but especially 19 year old girl
>want to ask her out, but don't want it to ruin the friendship of the group
>because I'm older, it feels like it'd be awkward
I should just give up on trying to date her right?
I want to create something, but I don't have the skill to make anything good and I can't bring myself to try right now. I don't want to do anything right now for some reason. I'm just sitting here watching my life fall apart. I'm showing all the signs of depression, to the point where even the most oblivious of people are suggesting I do something about it. I can't bring myself to seek therapy though. I don't think it's worth going to the trouble of seeking therapy. And I'm terrible at talking about my problems with others. I always downplay them or act like they're no big deal. It's instinct at this point.
I just miss my friend. I miss my sister. I miss my brother. I miss having a place where I felt like I belonged.
Nothing a therapist can do to help with that.
is it gay to jerk off to trap porn when they got a bigger dick than you
>>16317961
Idk, but we're addicted to porn.
>>16317967
not addicted
sometimes you just get the urge to suck a big juicy dick though
no homo
No initials, but I know You will read it anyway, since You frequent this place.
I had a dream about You today. I was coming home, and as I opened the door, instead of the usual hallway there was my bedroom. It was unusually bright. You were standing in the middle. You were 8 years old. Your shoulder-length black hair covered your face and You were looking at the floor. There was blood dripping from both your hands starting from the elbow level. Then I broke my left arm in 2 places, by sheer effort of will.
This image made me wake up.
>>16315980
It's not easy... being green.
>>16317740
Don't let the age gap factor too highly into whether or not you pursue, more so if you look younger.
>>16317740
Doing that in your 20's is fine anon, go for it.
My boyfriend has been 'unsure' about the relationship for many months including his constant threads about this or that as well as his various crushes outside the relationship. I have known for a while and have a new boyfriend for a month now who is completely aware of the situation. We think it's funny he thinks I am still his girlfriend and he hasn't noticed I haven't been wanting sex. Yes we are bad people.
>>16318201
Bad people? No, just a receptacle for cum, it's in your nature.
If he browses, and you want to bathe in his tears, post tits with a time stamp saying he has been replaced.
I regret waking up today.
I guess I feel happy only if one admires me. That's shit.
>>16314858
Your and her initial?
20 Never had a girlfriend , sex kiss less virgin nothing even particularly wrong with me I just played games instead of socializing with people outside of school. Always chose playing games over going out with friends etc... I now basically just work come home play games.
Feel like I will forever be stuck in this rut even if I try to change it.
>>16318402
I feel you bro. The thing is that nobody cares and we should start admiring ourselves. I help a good friend of mine, started to like her more than I should and want the appreciation of her, don't get it even if she starts talking to me and wants advice and so on. I don't know, the problem is I just don't feel goof about myself.
>>16318168
You bastard. I'll have that song stuck in my head all day now.
I'm always the one to initiate a conversation. Haven't messaged her for a couple of days and she hasn't messaged me.
She agreed to a second date, but is her lack of messaging a sign of a lack of interest?
Should I keep waiting to see if she brings anything up about it or should I remind her and see if she's still up for it?
After doing mdma with you a few times over the summer, out in the wild like that; I've come to associate being around you with pleasure. I love you. The fact that I can't act upon it is making me go insane, along with being unable to know how you feel about me.
I'm going to text you tonight. It's riduclous- never have I chased down somebody like this. I'm thirsty, and hounding you so often. You've yet to text me purely on your own freewill yet. When I find out you've gone out to a party without thinking of me, it's humiliating.
These wonderful moments are playing through my mind, every instance when you've looked or spoken to me, I can tell intuitively that you want me.
Seriously fuck you. Fuuuck you I fucking loathe you.
I-i'll be texting you later today, pls respond.
Damn, I think about nogf all the time, even at work.
I feel incredibly bad about this, like why?
In reality it's not really such a big deal, but i seem to make it out to be the most important issue in my life right now.
Despite this, im not even active on dating sites or anything anymore. It kind of feels pointless.
I wonder if im really loning for love or if im just obsessed with feeling misserable and hopeless.
>>16319089
I know a similar feel. I'm lonely as fuck, but I live in California, and California women are vile and repulsive human beings for the most part, so it really feels pointless.
I'm seeing my gf again tomorrow. It's only been a short while and we've texted a lot in the meantime, but I'm still all giddy about it. She's been a bit down the past few days, so I hope it'll cheer her up some as well.
I can't wait to see her!
E,
I don't know if you still browse these threads, but I need to say this, regardless.
I suppose it is time to face reality. If you were going to change your mind, it would have happened by now. Considering our relationship ended in February, and the anniversary of my near fatal accident is just weeks away, it seems to be obvious that last spark of hope I have been tending needs to be extinguished. I need to accept that it is truly over.
Neither of us bought into the soul mate nonsense, not until we met. I know, in my core, that nothing either of us find will compare, and that is why I held some small measure of hope. We were only supposed to have a few days, but instead we shared half a decade. Not nearly long enough, and I wish you could have known the man I am now, but at least we have the memories.
It is time I left this thread, and with it, what little hope I had left kindled.
- R
>be a gorefag
>attractive
>come off as normal
>about to participate in search for missing child
>hoping I find the body
Would it be weird if I took pics of it?
I've got a date tomorrow and I don't know what to expect and because she's kinda chubby we can't really walk anywhere that's too far away... and the fact that she thinks she's a 9/10 when she's a solid 4 or 5/10 is pretty annoying too since she expects too much.
>>16319696
you sound like a dick
>>16319396
>tfw you wish this was for you
>tfw not E
Dear /adv/
I hope I can get pegged today
I want to hold you and cuddle you
I'm sorry for all of the shit you've gone through. Things will get better
I love you
>>16319848
And also, thanks for last night. We both needed it
Just realized I've had 23 beers in the past 24 hours and 3 hours of sleep. I guess that's why my asshole has blood when I wipe and my organs burn.
I can't stop drinking.
>>16319848
Same, anon
>>16319915
Stop drinking
>>16313215
Fuck you.
>>16313781
>I later tell her I had jerk off fantasies about her. She was horrified that I said this.
So open minded.
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be able to enjoy milk products without having to eat a lactose supplement every time.
I fucking missed my fucking final exam yesterday because I got the schedule mixed up. Im a fucking idiot holy shit
going to my prof today so I can request a deferred exam, wish me fucking luck
I hate surprises, hope you're not planning to pop here out of nowhere.
wouldn't be bad actually but i hope i have a clearer mind by then
>>16319781
>tfw you wish this was for you
>tfw not the right E
Don't feel bad
>>16313215
Boring and predictable
I don't know what to do anymore. My girlfriend is pregnant and this'll be her third kid and my first. I work a dead end job for a bit more than minimum wage. I've been in and out of the hospital for constipation and hemroids for the past 3 weeks. I have court at the end of the month and need $300 that I won't have. My bank account is in the negative $200. My ass hurts
Me dying will be the only time I do something normal
>>16313215
I want money. It's simple thing. But I fucking want money for my pleasure or cuz' I have complex. A rather wanted do a big fucking ass dinner for my mother and grandma, everyday, and wanted do something for kids of my sister.
The help my friend lure some whores for him.
And I can't say anything like that on loud, cuz it's weird for rest of people.
>>16313215
Gonna kill myself next Monday afternoon, had enough of the world
>>16320113
Can I watch? Also: fake.
>>16313773
Tell her. If she's wise, she will understand. If not, she's not worth it. But hiding it is the worst. My bf also has some sexual issues and it's a long way to work it out. But it works somehow.
>>16314957
At first I thought you meant they're screwing and was like wtf
>>16319497
Just got back.
Couldn't find a body.
>>16320061
Aww, he got you also?
I can't help but feel bad. I miss my R.
>>16318799
Just stop playing games and go out. Yes it will be hard. Also don't feel inferior bc of your late sex initiation. My bf did it in his 20s too and he's cool. You'll be alright.
THIS MIIIIIIGHT BE A STUPID QUESTION!
Halloween is coming up, and I plan on eating an ungodly amount of candy during it, I'm a pretty fit guy, not a bodybuilder but not a fatass, my question is this...
Do I risk getting diabetes from eating an insane amount of candy in one night?
>>16320274
nope unless you are borderline diabetic, you'll either process it or pass it through
Whenever a girl seems interested in me I suddenly see them unfit for relationships, and when that doesn't happen and I actually am interested, they will just lose interest too... (I'm not a nerd, I have this lumberjack body shape and just a little socially awkward, don't have very high standards but no gf, no kiss no anything)
Sons of Anarchy started off really well but now it just consists of really bland characters and really dull story-lines that shouldn't be relevant, oh, and five-minute montages to shitty country songs.
I've got a date with a chubby/fat girl tomorrow and I planned things so that I would be able to walk there and have time to spare but I forgot that she'll walk slower than me since my legs are muscular as fuck and I walk about 10 miles a day.
But seriously, Sons of Anarchy should have done more with the Nords and then maybe they wouldn't have this shitty predicament of not really having a direction - it's like drinking the shitty beer at the bottom of the bottle.
I've become intimidated and tired of my own lifestyle. I was 16/17, I knew and hung out with my favorite musicians and was given pills at every show I went to. Its all slowly disappearing, its not that fun anymore. I never want to go to these events anymore but I still show up to them.
And if any of you want to date a dj or a rapper, they are not as loyal as you think they are. They're trying to fuck/hit on underage girls when you aren't looking, it doesn't matter how many events you show up to with them. They will wait for you to not be there. Literally all of them.
I've been dating this guy for a month now and he told me yesterday that he loves me. And I said it back.
I'm in love with this guy and he makes me the happiest boy ever and I feel ashamed cuz of society's view of falling in love too early, especially since we're gay
I just don't wanna feel bad for finding my love, you know?
>>16320549
>especially since we're gay
What the fuck do I do with the stuff that my ex gave me? They gave me this collectible figure of a series that I like last Christmas, but I can't stand to look at it anymore. I want to get rid of it but then I feel bad about throwing it away. I was thinking of just sending them money for the things they gave me so I don't feel guilty about tossing anything. But then it sounds like a dick move... that I didn't "appreciate" it if I'm basically refunding them the money. I'm grateful for the gifts but the sentimentality attached to these things just kills me.
>>16313215
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY GOD DAMN PIZZA ALREADY????
I'M FUCKING _STARVING_ HERE PEOPLE!
>>16314115
Have you ever looked up Sleep Paralysis?
Frustrated because I keep finding people I would want to date who live too far away.
I also hate that people are so shitty around here that I mistake simple kindness for flirting.
I still miss my ex.
:/
>>16313578
Love yourself and keep making music, Steffo!
I almost killed my cockatiel bird
I was basically playing around with him when I suddenly just forcefully grabbed him and started to rub/cuddle his neck
While doing so I was squeezing on me teeth and thinking very horrible ways of killing
She was obviously not enjoying it as she was biting me, and that's when I let her go and ran back to my room
I'm a sick person
I'm a very disgusting and sick person to be able to that without even being conscious about
I almost took a life that isn't mine
That could have been a human being, what the fuck is wrong with me?
Why is this happening to me?
Just going to list things, Im reading y'alls dough:
Insecure about height (5'9'' say Im 5'10'' male) even though I realize it usually isnt much of an issue. But I just know most girls that I like would prefer someone (even someone I know) over me every time
I'm 21 and taking accutane for acne. It's the first month and my face looks fucked up... Praying it gets better before christmas and maybe thanksgiving.
I have a couple "friends" in college but I can't stand some people. I ain't no misanthrope but people are somehow shallower than me. No intellectual curiosity even in most of my higher level classes. I don't care if people are smart or interesting or good looking when I'm making friends, just that they care about something, or that they seem to want to learn.
I'm happier than ever about my future career choice but there is a very low possibility I'll achieve anything (not to mention anything of note). I'm trying to get into writing/comedy and the odds of getting a decent life in that is like getting into Harvard. I need to work harder. Not faster or smarter or shit, just harder. I care about doing one thing and everyday I avoid it until I force myself to work at it. When I succeed it's the most rewarding experience, but I just push it to the side to focus on garbage.
Stay safe, guys
>>16321150
Hey man I'm on Accutane too, four weeks in. Get Aquaphor for the cracked lips, it's been a godsend. It's still shitty as fuck but if you put on a thick coat just before you go to bed, you wake up with manageable lips when you wake up in the morning. The lips are the worst for me, what other effects are you getting?
I feel so stressed out that I think I'm slipping into a depressive episode. I need this subject to be over, and to stop feeling like a failure. I wish I had more friends at college so I could at least talk to them and have some support. And then I got into a fight with my one good friend at the worst time possible. Just wanted to get it out of my chest.
>>16313781
>Finally get around to deleting my Facebook. I have hopes I could finally move on. Stop feeling tired and bruised about people who didn't care about me.
>Run into old SJW ex.
>I politely say "Hey you, hope all is well."
>She gives me this look of terror. She says nothing and walks away.
>She bashed me once via twitter during a date.
>Seeing her face again just left me feeling angry.
>Her favorite author of all time is Chuck Palanuck... She is an English major. Her favorite band is Ludo. We didn't mix well at all.
>Listen to some Depeche Mode. Feeling better.
>Get all 7.5/10+ on rate thread. Feels good.
>Realize she was nothing like muh waifu Yukari from Persona 3.
>Realize I'm not awful...I-I-can love myself?!
Sometimes I want to have friends and having fun like everyone else. But fuck, I can't stand those backstabbers and I don't have social skills
I'm starting to fall into depression again. I can feel the loneliness creeping in. That really shitty sort of loneliness where you feel empty and you feel like you're completely alone. I have friends and family, but nobody I would trust enough to get too close to. I lost the person I trusted the most.
I guess I'll get through it. I always do... but I'm so tired of suffering.
Maybe I really am extremely sexual but really repressed, like he said.
Occasionally certain songs or stories or images do move me.... in a way. Though it's not exactly that it makes me horny so much as that it makes me feel nostalgic for a sex life I never really had to begin with? Plus almost all of them are in some way related to pretty unhealthy scenarios.
I wonder if wanting him to fix it would be asking too much
No, it definitely would be.
At first he'd probably be happy and welcome the challenge but that's not how it'd end up.
It's understandable for kid brothers to not get along but as a teenager and now adult I've been selfish. We have talks and discussions but I'm never open to you. I'm such a fucking dick. Truth be told if you died tomorrow I wouldn't ever be able to make it. Not without my big brother. I often reflect on how terrible I act towards you and how much I'm trying to change it, but I know to you it won't ever be enough. You say it's fine but it's not fine. Honestly anybody could be a better brother to you than me. I'm a piece of shit.
>>16318820
I can't force myself to admire me. It's stupid.
You see, i'm an artist.. And i need my teachers to admire me,so that i can have the motivation to paint/draw more, outdo myself..Without it i feel like shit.
I've tried exercising, eating right, and doing hobbies. I'm even having sex semi regularly now. I'd still like to know when life stops feeling like a bunch of pointless bullshit.
>>16321510
How did you lose them?
I have never been able to cum from sex
The only things that can make me cum are handjobs and blowjobs
I sometimes get flaccid randomly during sex
>>16321240
Buddy, you picked Yukari as your waifu. You're pretty awful.
>>16320998
Same tbh
Shame she moved on to another guy
You know those type of people?
>'I like to help people out, tell me your problems'
>by the second message: 'You know what, maybe you should vent online'
I have no one to talk to, and I need to have a conversation with someone, a real person, with input. I need to let all this stuff out.
>>16321557
Why would you stop feeling that way? Unless you can somehow manage to delude yourself into some magical thinking?
H,
I swear to the Old Ones, if you are fucking with me about this plan, I'm going to kill myself. I can assure you that I don't agree to these things lightly.
A.
>>16320569
Well what's fucking wrong with that?
>>16322077
Welcome back
>>16319396
dunno if it's how you write or the story or me being a sad cunt but update us if anything happens from this
>>16321969
That sounds pretty shitty.
All my friends have already heard my story of why I'm so depressed so many times they just say, "I don't know what to tell you, man." Even a therapist basically said I should consider medication.
I'm not fucking crazy, I'm just not happy.
>>16322529
At least you have someone to talk to.
>>16321191
My skin has gotten worse than it was acne wise, plus the dry lips and now only somewhat dry skin. Just under 4 weeks in. Doc said Im part of the 8% whose skin gets worse at first, but I doubt that's really true. It sucks but I hope you do alright with it
I made an excuse to get out of an event. Now, said excuse isn't until two weeks after this upcoming event and I didn't realize it at the time. How do I stop feeling like a piece of shit?
I just want a cute introvert girl to cuddle with and watch anime together. That's not so much to ask for right? Just someone who i can hide away from the world with. Someone who understands me and i understand them.
Also i can't sleep.
>>16322661
Spend time improving yourself and your outward appearance. If you seem desperate, sad or down on yourself, that cute introvert won't waste her time on you. Remember, relationship is two way, she wants something too. Show her you are good at life, show ambition, be a confidant guy. Btw if you focus on bettering yourself this comes naturally. Introvert girls like guys that have a talent in what they enjoy. Find that nerdy passion and be about it. I met my nerdy introvert wife when we were writing tutors in college. Find an atmosphere like that, and own it. She was super shy so it was easy for me to pretend like I'm mr. Confident. Fake it till you make it
I just got my job's yelp page a one star review for something that I did that felt unavoidable. I can't take how my employers can flip on a dime. I know it's a job, and that's just life, but I just want them to shut up about it.
I get it, I screwed up, I'll try harder next time. Quit sighing and whining about it from the other side of the room.
I'm on day 2 of detoxing, and this is making it hard to not take a liquor store trip on my way home.
>>16322514
It's the fact that E could respond. Someone may actually get a reply and that doesn't happen that much.
R said he was leaving this thread but I'll bet money hes browsing on the chance of a reply.
*gets popcorn ready*
im tired of being in love with mi ex, its been like two years and i still cant get over her.. i cant found another girl to be in love with because i dont go out in weekends, also she comes to my local once a week to buy things for her business.
>>16314743
What's your Skype
>>16322973
pegasister420
I should've fucked you when I had the chance. No matter if my member is small or that I'm a quickshot,just having sex with a certain other is what I always wanted to do. But the more I think about it,the more I realize that this is just to spite you and to get you pregnant and leaving that child to your new bf.
But then again,I'm not that much of a fucknut to just impregnate girls here and there and leaving them on their own. Having sex and taking responsibility arouses me more than just a quick one night stand,to be honest.
I'd try quaaludes if they came back.
This meeting has two possible outcomes.
>life completely ruined
>live to ruin life another day
Won't be easy to get out unscathed.
I'll update later.
I fucking hate being a girl. Every other girl just fakes a smile and pretends she loves everyone and everyone loves her, but i don't. They bully a girl if they don't like her, instead of just ignore her. They hurt feelings like its no big deal. I hate how close minded are 99% of girls. Such hypocrites. Boys are much cooler and simple.
Dan
Hey I know I'm probably not your ideal type physically but I feel like we would get along really well even as just friends.
Text or email me some time.
K
>>16323476
MY TIME HAS COME
Just met a stranger to fulfill my breastfeeding fetish. She was very obese and short. I enjoyed myself but the aftertaste was bad, she has kids, and I don't know if I can do it again. I'm thinking of just ignoring her emails but I know no other girl is gonna want a baldo like me. Am I being too picky?
What the fuck is your surname?
THIS SHIT drives me crazy. This fucking spirit science bullshit facebook page and their bullshit images that people share on facebook.
I don't understand why people share this stupid bullshit.
Tomorrow is going to be a special day for me. Either its going to be an exceptionally exciting day or an exceptionally disappointing day. It can only go one way or the other. If it goes well, then I did enough to make what I needed to happen happen. If it does not go well, then I can only blame myself. Tomorrow's result will not depend on my beliefs right now. The result depends on my actions in recent past. I can't change my past actions. The result of those past actions will affect me tomorrow.
I hope that the result is the one I want. But whether I hope or not, is just a belief I have now. It cannot change the past. I can story this situation, so that if I face a similar situation in the future, then I might see a similar pattern, and I can adjust me behavior towards outcomes that I would prefer.
I'm convinced I'm addicted to sadness.
>>16323700
Is that why she is always on my mind, and why I cannot stop the memories?
It was raining today and I really enjoyed it.
>>16323657
Life's always been this way. People have always paid attention and cared about bullshit like that. Don't let it disturb you even for one second, especially if it's innocuous shite like that pic. It doesn't hurt you, and while you think it may hurt people by caring about it, but don't worry or tell people you know rl off about it. Write a book or something, do something that makes your soul smile
I can't stand being a virgin any longer, it's killing me on the inside.
>>16323775
That was what I thought. Been when I thought about her breaking up with him and even just talking to me again, I'm still not happy about the thought.
I sit here waiting for you. The men you always have been dating other then me. The time you were with your abusive ass boyfriend to which you later broke up because of the abuse. You said you loved me as a friend but I didn't want to hear that. I wanted more then just a friendship. I wanted to know you for who you are. I was going to ask you to prom as well, but I was at a friends house drinking and smoking pot with my best friend to forget the hate. At least he accepted me as who I am. He maybe a freak to you, but I love him enough to know he would never leave my side. Telling me "You were never around." made it seem like it was my fault. We lived too far away from each other and I couldn't drive at the time. Saying that made me want to slap you. I was hurt. I still think about you everyday. I wanted that one dance to be with you. To feel like a prince for once in my life. Sure it maybe some sick stupid fantasy, but it's what I really wanted. You were the only one that was there for me. Now you are gone. One night I went joy riding with my parents car but it was not out of joy. It was because I had a hand gun in my passanger seat ready to blow my brains out right in front of you. Going 120mph on the road out of pure anger. When I got to your house. I pulled in the driveway at 3am. I just stopped. I stopped. Pulled the car out and drove away. That night I realized I have to do something with my life. Thanks for being a bitch to me to straighten me out. I hope your 2 year relationship crashes and burns like my heart everytime I think about you. I do not wish for you to die. I wish for you to live every moment in agony just by breathing. My love for you is gone and I hate hearing your name or even the thought. You are the best and the worst.
I fucking hate retarded cashiers who can't do their job right. I had ONE box of breadsticks, not two when I was paying. Don't double the price because you can't pay attention, nigger.
I wish I could get away with killing myself. I've wanted to ever since I was 10, but something's always stopped me. I hate my birthday, and I hate myself, and I wish that I didn't have to deal with either of them. But, the thing is, my girlfriend's been "suicidal" lately, and I feel like if I offed myself she'd finally have the nerve to do more than her normal cry-for-help-I-took-a-bunch-of-acetaminophen thing that she does. Today I turned 22, and - for me - nothing has ever felt quite this meaningless.
I wish I had some friends so I could go get tickets to the Joanna Newsom concert and be with someone cool, instead of just myself.
>Are you in crisis? Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at +1 (800) 273-8255.
when did this start appearing under the thread poster?
>>16324120
Since moot did his 2 hour youtube q&a after some anon suggested it.
It's been around for quite some time
Big hazel eyes. Lovely lashes. Slim build. Gorgeous grin. Soft hair. You are will not die a virgin, not on my watch.
And I love how, despite the fact that as we grow older, most people tend to keep tight lipped about their happiness, and seem to only express their sorrow at their situations. You are different though, you do not care. You have depression yet there is not a day you do not make me giggle with how silly you are. I do not believe I have ever fallen for someone so fast in such a short amount of time. Be my village idiot.
>>16313215
damn girl, i thought we were having a great time then you bail like that?
shit i was at least hoping for a kiss
fuck
>>16324409
That's beautiful, anon. You should tell her that
>My ex and I are still in love with each other
>Have no interest in getting back together until he progresses as a person
>I have shit relationships with my family.
>My mom was a addict and kick me out when I was 18
>Was homeless for a good chunk of time
>Dad didn't give a shit about me until I started making money
>Now uses me for his own benefit
>Only reason I live with him is to see my brother graduate high school
>My two older brothers suck ass
>Only use me for discounts and free things I get from work
>Have no idea what I'm doing with my life
>Can't go back to school because I can't afford it
>Want to go into plus sized modeling
>Too scared it's not going to work out
I want to know with how I should go about being dumb. I'm extremely slow with all of my studies, and although I do well, I'm really thinking I shouldn't even bother. All I have time to do is study while others are going out and having a great time... most of the other people in my major seem to be able to put in a lot less time than me and do at level with me or better. I hear them talking about partying in class and the like and they all seem to be involved on five clubs, so this is how I know. I'm majoring in accounting and I'm afraid I'm just going to tank on the real world without the controlled, consequence free textbook world.
What does everyone think?
>>16324613
*in like five clubs
>>16324590
>until he progresses as a person
>implying it's not because he won't get back with you because you're a tub of guts
>>16324621
Naw he's into that.
>roommates room has bed bugs
>told best friend in confidence
>she told all my acquaintances (who I hope to turn into friends).
>bed bugs are exterminated and only in roomies room, but apparently a recurring problem.
>btw they didn't tell me about the bedbugs when I moved in.
I would tell anyone sleeping over, but my friend seems to think I need to tell anyone who comes over. Is that the right thing to do?
They seem to have only been in my roommates room.
i fucked up my college relationship after I graduated and she didn't by being shit at communicating. she felt lonely until we broke up. i'm sadder than i've ever been, and I feel like both an idiot for being so oblivious to her needs and like an asshole for neglecting her in the way i did
i felt like everything was ok and then it kinda crept up on me and all of a sudden it was out of my control
it's going to take me forever to get over her. i loved her so much but i somehow convinced her otherwise. i just want us both to be happy, but i'd like to be with her still. i just keep hoping she'll message me out of the blue and agree to start the LDR phase over, but i know it'll never happen because she left justifiably frustrated
i've had to force myself to eat for three days
We've been friends for a long time now. We met on the 2nd semester on our 1st year of college. I had a girlfriend back then, but we broke up over the summer. Now it's our 1st semester on our second year. We've been hanging out until i started to feel something towards her. I was starting to like her, but she already told me long ago that she does not like relationships. I still started to treat her differently, i became clingy and always wanted to be with her, even though we have completely different schedules and in different blocks.
Cont.
>>16324048
Happy birthday, brother.
These fine girls want my dick, but they're size queens and I have a super pencil dick
And crazy chicks keep confessing their prolonged love for me
Please help
The world is a fallacy
i corrupted her,
i introduced her to this darker yet lighter world and now shes addicted,
she needs me for it,
she keeps me around for it,
i cant stomach seeing her like this,
so i smoke a lot more to try not to care,
and fuck
i love her
i love her like an idiot would
i try to convince myself that its foolish, and she only keeps me around because she needs connections,
but i cant help loving her
dammit why the fuck did i hook her up in the first place
she was so beautiful and sad
i couldnt make her happy so i gave her something that could
i want her happy
i want her comfy
i want a life for us
dammit mates i dug myself a deep one innit
I fucking blew it with a really cool girl now I hate myself for it. She was so into me before we went on an actual date. Why can't I just chill and not be awkward when I need to. I'm a likable person with people I'm comfortable with I just need to get comfortable with you first. Fuck man.
I want money, so I can have more power in my life. I'm planning on living a life of adultery, drugs, and promiscuity, then, giving it all up for the girl I decide is the one.
I want a family, I want to be a good father, I want to watch them grow up, I want to watch them become what I couldn't become. I want to grow old with her and I want to die knowing I did good.
I'm a little tipsy, so there's probably some bad spelling and grammatical errors all over this post.
>>16324983
Which drug did you get her hooked on?
Im really fucking stressed out and I feel like I'm losing my personality
>>16324504
It's a him ^.^
Plus, it may freak him out since we've only know one another for 4 months.
I'm beginning to resent most of my friends. The people I spend the most time with are a dysfunctional bunch with one of them practically being a cuck and its painful to see.
My friend is having an art show this week and I invited my other friend to it. it didn't occur to me that he'd want to hang out afterwards and he still likes me but i dont like him like that. I really like the guy whos having the art show and i'll probably hang with him after. I dont want to be a shitty friend but i feel like an idiot now for not thinking of this before i invited him. hes gonna want to hang out and im gonna feel bad for just basically choosing someone else over him.
im probably overthinking this lol
>>16325146
xanax
>>16325221
you made it sound like she was on meth
i was addicted to xanax when i was 17, it never made me happy. just tired and literally stupid as fuck (couldn't remember anything)
>>16325205
Stop leading men on.
Don't argue, don't complain just stop it.
>>16325239
sorry mate, her case is of the level of concern i presented it as, well at least to me it is
I feel the pressure of being one of the few "able bodied" family members now (and really the only one of "my generation", the rest being a decade from being able to do anything for the family) and the guilt of my past sins is crushing me. A while back some members of my family got diagnosed with disabilities and instead of being supportive I acted like a shitty teenager and potentially made things worse for them. I don't feel like I can ever make it up to them.
I also have cheated (mildly) on the last two girlfriends I have had (broke up with them soon after) and every time I think about it I want to blow my brains out because I feel like I could never marry. I'm in a relationship now and my partner is supportive and I have taken many precautions against any further incidents (removed the MMO I used last time and it wasn't like I went looking for the cheating either time) but the one thing I have always wanted was a family to be proud of and bring pride to my family but now I feel broken inside.
Coupled with the stress from school and extracurricular activities I haven't been acting myself and I have had a couple thoughts about doing things that just aren't me and they terrify me (stuff I'd never do but my brain suggested I do).
>>16323800
Trust me, it isn't as bad as you think; if I could take back the year I spent with a nyph I would have.
>>16321077
it's probably stress m8, don't let it get you or it will swallow you up. I've felt the same once or twice with a person (I didn't actually choke them lol) but it'll pass.
As long as you know you wouldn't do it you won't.
>>16314743
Don't kill yourself before you give therapy a try, even if it's just some rando online you want to spill your guts to while being an anon.
>>16313689
Do you have any family?
>>16313773
Tell her and if she truly likes you, she will understand.
>>16315171
>>16315253
I know what you're talking about (to a lesser extent) and seriously what changed me was watching "Welcome to the NHK"
I finished that show (I believe some crying was involved on my part) and I got a job, a girlfriend, and started a few projects that I actually made progress on before other things made me drop them.
I would seriously recommend that (and possibly Watamote for some introspection). I hope this suggestions helps you guys.
>>16317699
There is hope; see if you can make some cut backs and apply for any scholarships you can. See if you can find someone to help you wrestle with the depression a bit.
You can do it, I believe in you!
>>16317740
m8 I dated a 27 year old when I was 18, you're fine.
>>16325420
*19
My kids love me for being around, and I play with them and love them intensely. I know them better than anyone else, and know where they are developmentally and have taken it upon myself to make sure they are well ahead of what's required for school.
That said, I'm still fucked up on the inside from my childhood, and some of the remnants show themselves in self neglect.
The worst of all is sleep deprivation where I go to bed a few hours from when it's time to wake up and I end up napping when they nap and being a zombie most of the day, only to go into overdrive from dinner until their bedtime so I look normal for my spouse.
I started a dialogue with myself about why, and I can't come up with a good answer.
I'm an intelligent guy, and I am very talented in my educated industry but no work experience, because I chose to stay at home with the kids (after we read and talked about it forever, it seemed best for one of us to).
Not that my spouse really wants to, couldn't handle the monotony and absolute requirement of constant bonding and caretaking, but I could be working and we could be financially much better off because of the pay in my field.
I am 3 credit hours from graduating, and I can just take a standard test for that, but I don't and can't figure out why. Kind of like how it took me years after high school to get my ged or start college.
During the last few weeks I've noticed that you seem to state your views on some serious topics, yet when said topics are brought up in connection to you, your actions become the opposite of what your previously stated views would have been.
>>16325448
You should talk to a therapist or potentially a doctor to try and get some sleep aids. Once you get your sleep cycles fixed your brain will feel less cloudy. Once your brain sees things more clearly then you will be able to act with better judgement (Should I complete my degree? Should I start working? Should my spouse perhaps switch with me and stay at home for a bit so I can earn money to help the family?)
Some sleep can do wonders and I think you will be able to focus more and ponder these questions. Childhood can mess people up but if you know that then you're already part of the way there to fixing it. You can do it, you just have to start with a good night's sleep!
>>16325462
I think you're right, because anytime I get a good night's sleep the next day I get tons done, my children and I have lots of extra fun, and I feel motivated to do more meaningful things.
Thank you for the encouragement.
I keep holding on to this hope that you'll magically be this top notch reliable guy but you're just not. I love you I think, I just don't know when to walk away.
Do you really love me, or do you just need reassurance that you are attractive and desirable?
>Crave companionship
>know deep down I'm not willing to be a good freind to anybody
Had a dream about you last night. What's weird is how clear your face was and how real it all looked. I miss you, and I hope I see you tomorrow.
When I do everything for you and then wake up to sarcasm and hatefulness I feel empty and useless. Sometimes when I'm outside and its dark, if I wasn't walking your dog. I would have just walked into traffic. Hope you loved me because I sure as hell don't love myself. Thanks for that.
I'm an egoistical bastard
I should've killed myself
I am a coward and have drown myself in self-pity.
I don't want to give up, but hell, why is it so FUCKING difficult?!
>>16325961
It is egotistical, and with such poor English you really shouldn't be.
I use 4chan to find porn webms of the worst filthy amateur fat girls, and save it on my phone easily accessible to my wife, so that when she goes through my phone and sees it we have an awkward fight where I explain that it was for research purposes and I'm not attracted to far chicks. Then I blame her for not fucking me anymore, and try extra hard to make her feel bad as a way to get back at me for holding out sex. She has a medical condition that causes her vagina to tear no matter how lubricated she is- naturally or otherwise- and when we have sex it hurts her, though she has stated and physically proven that I can make her orgasm even through the pain sometimes. In my own selfishness I try to force her to fuck me even though she's terrified of the pain because I know there's a 10% chance in hell that THIS will be one of those times she cums like a mad woman- and then crus herself to sleep nursing her newly torn vagina. No my dick is not Herculean, her labia is extremely sensitive and looks like it has small paper cuts after we fuck, somehow I'm ok with hurting her as long as I can cum, and pretend she liked it too. This cycle repeats every few weeks when I get tired of jacking it to normal porn, and I devolve into a downward spiral of weird fetish porn that normally wouldn't even get me off. It's like my way of reaching out to her and saying, hey I'm fucked up emotionally and using this octopus insertion as a way of telling you- I guess. Idk. Rambles for 4chan.
>>16325966
Doing the right thing is always difficult. You're on the right track. Take it easy. Don't forget to think of those around you as well.
I believe in you anon.
>>16325749
I need assurance that the person I love thinks I am attractive and desirable.
I started going to aa meetings and shit the other day to try and quit drinking again. So far so good. The problem is that I made a prior commitment to go to this concert tonight with a couple drinking buddies and a boy I like (no homo). I kind of want to go I know I'm either going to relapse again, or be in a shitty mood because I'm not drinking but really want to. I guess the even deeper root of the problem is how do I re-assimilate into the normal world while remaining free from drugs and alcohol, which I actually want to do this time.
I tried cutting myself today... just to see if I could do it. Turns out I couldn't, and I made a mere scrape. But the thought of wanting to try it out - that's what bothers me. I don't quite feel comfortable as myself. Something is off. I disgust myself. I want to hide. I feel as if all I've lived by has suddenly disappeared and left me hanging in mid air. Something changes in me, and I am scared.
