so my life turned to shit pretty fast. I'm gonna green text since I'm not in a writing out my sob story mood right now....
>lost job, earlier this Nov, last day is december 3
>working on my exit in the meantime and that last paycheck will be needed.
>Friend saw my GF of 3 years with some other guy downtown and tells me
>confront her
>found out GF was seeing someone else these past 2 months
>Leave before I hit her, luckily we don't live together
>spent the earlier part of last week drunk, day and night, alone.
>Jim Bean kinda grows on you...
>sober up Wednesday morning
>talk with GF, she doesn't want me to leave from her life
>fuck that shit, will go nuclear in this restaurant if we keep talking
>confessed everything, what they've been doing, when they meet and plan to meet
>offered me the text logs, pics, everything...even other person's Instagram
>find about 10 of pics of them together
>this mofo doesn't know about me
>this mofo is super happy he got his first "girlfriend"
>she looks happy...
>literally haven't seen her that happy in a long time
>"Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever"
>3 week break, let me see if we can be friends
>Went home for Thanksgiving
>Dad starts telling me how I much of a failure I am
>Dad became sober 4 years ago, so all I had to chug down was cans of coke
>40 cans of that for the rest of the week.
>I can live with sugar crashes...
Part of me hopes that me being gone will make her miss me more than the other guy and she breaks it off with the other guy. No fucking idea how this happened, guessing it was because I was working all the time and didn't spend so much time with her. Boils down too I lost my job and my girl in the same month...my stomach and liver stayed strong not eating anything but alcohol for 3 days. Chugging water now to say sorry to my beaten body.
I understand that priority is finding a job to keep on living (Thanks Capitalism). Any comments or advice on my situation?
>>16513911
First off, cut the "im a victim fuck capitalsim" schtik.
Man the fuck up. Fuck your girlfriend, fuck that job. Take some fucking responsibility and go out and make yourself better.
Turn this shitty feeling into something positive.
Just Do It.
Make it happen anyway you can. You'll be happy this shit happened, you'll be kicking ass in 4 years
Ditch the girl. Fuck yourself for even considering getting back with her.
>Thanks capitalism
Don't even get me started. You couldn't make much more of a pleb statement if you tried.
Ditch her and sort your life out. Forget about her. If she ever pops up in your head don't follow the thought down some depressing road, just think fuck her, she cheated, her loss. Use it as motivation to do good things from here on out until you don't give a fuck about her anymore.
>comments or advice
don't be friends with your ex who cheated on you. She didn't even just cheat on you by sleeping with a stranger or something, that's full on affair shit. She would not be a good friend.
So you drank to much one week. Your job and relationship ended. does not sound like a big deal. are you an alcoholic or something? That you talk about alcohol so much when it does not seem at all important and that your dad is makes it seem pretty likely.
Just focus get a new job and stop talking to her, especially the details about what she did with him.
>>16513933
>>16513930
>>16513923
I really do want to forget about her. I know I should just fucking move on..but FUCK.HOW?? I don't even feel like I should continue living half the time. Why even try if shit's just gonna be taken from you. I can scream through this get a job and another girl, but whose to say I won't lose those again and I'll end up like this again... Feels like life if just suffering...
As per the alcohol thing, alcoholism is rampant in the family, I kicked the habit when I turned 22 (am 25 now)... Just felt like if there's ever a reason, it's now...
>>16513995
Dude just always have a dream and work towards. How outlandish or crazy it seems just stay focused and understand that yeah you took some losses, youll come out stronger and more evolved on the other side
>>16514000
I did have a dream...I thought life was set, just keep on working on my career, a loving person was waiting for me. Life was almost set after struggling to get through University.
Now I'm alone with nothing...everyone keeps saying get back up. but I don't even know how, everything is numb. It's like my body is tired and doesn't have the strength to keep going. I just wanna lay down and do nothing. Which is what I've been doing until I started reaching out for wtf to do today...
>>16514073
It's not easy at all. I'm not going to bore you with stories or try to out "victim" you, but the other anon's are right, you have to find something to work towards, doensn't matter how stupid or obscure, just find it and then figure out how you can get to it. Take a bit and really think about it, maybe even do a bit of long term, then focus on what you can do tonight to work towards it. Even if it's something as simple as sending a email, or bookmarking a page, it's a step.
Also go take a long hot shower, and just stand there enjoying the feeling of the water. Just stand there and take deep long breaths, and just relax your core. Breathing works, you just have to do it over and over and over again. These small steps are key, I find that taking pride in my personal appearance (neat hair, shaved, clean/ironed clothes) helps a lot, those small things always give you something to do, but be careful not to become obsessed with the small things while ignoring the larger tasks at hand.
Take a break from your relationships for a while, as much as you may feel you need someone, just let things go, no matter how much you want them. That said, don't shut everything out, if something new, looks like a road or path you want to take, give it a shot, but only something new.
You know deep down what you want, you are afraid of failing it, like you wrongly think you failed in your relationship. It's hard, and you are going to make mistakes, but really, you have no option, it's either this, or do nothing and suffer so much death looks like the best option.
Godspeed anon, I'll check back if you want to talk.
>>16514246
Thanks anon, that's really something...
I'm not victimizing myself, at least I don't think I am. My depression comes from the feeling that I could have done things better. Maybe I should have done more than eat out with her once a week or so these past months... Maybe I should have been going to the gym more, maybe I should have talked to my manager about being reassigned as oppose to getting stressed at shit I'm bad at.
Thoughts like that, full of things I could have done to not be in this situation right now...and thoughts on how to fix it. The job is done, I'll have to ration my savings and apply to new opportunities...though I feel bad about losing such a good job..and I guess I am still holding onto her...but is there really even any way to fix that?
Help me to look forward anon...I can think of a few hobbies I always wanted to try (fencing for example), but I keep thinking doing this now will just lead to me being alone in the future... I'm only 25, but I haven't found any other girl I'd even consider leaving for her these past few years...
>>16514289
The victimizing thing something a lot of people struggle with. Not to sound full SJW, I was just trying to say that I'm not saying that what you feel isn't important. It is. If it bother's you then it's important in your life.
We all could have done things better. Maybe if we spent a bit more time talking, or were a bit kinder, or a bit more aware, or something different, we could live in the dreams we have at night. It's good that you notice these things, as it's the only positive out of a negative. Learn from them, but don't live by them. Let it guide you, but not control you.
Right now you need to just take a moment, and just breathe. You are still here, you're still breathing, and you are only 25. It seems like you're at the end of your rope because it's all you've known. You have time, the biggest problem when it comes to issues involving time is the fact that we spend to much time worrying about how little we have instead of enjoying what's right in front of us.
Looking forward, I fail to see how something like fencing could lead to you being alone. If you like it go do it, it won't be the most natural thing at first, and you'll want to quit, but go and give it a fair shake. As for your job, if it's already over, then as embarrassing as it may seem, but you should call them back. If you've got no future left there, at least call and see if there's any chance of getting it back, and if not at least apologize for your behavior towards the end. It may not seem like much, nor like it's worth it, but you never know, it may be much worse in your mind than it is in reality. As for meeting someone, give it time. Just take care of you first, doing that, will cause the rest to fall into place. I can promise you that one.
If you want to talk more, give me some way to contact you (IM, Email, Text) I don't mind listening, it's much better having it out of your head, it's not doing you any good stuck in there.
>>16514317
Alright, Thanks anon if you're still there
I've taken a moment... literally just turn to inwards reflection while facing the wall no clock, no phone, no music or noise (I practiced meditation sometime ago, just didn't have the time to dive deeper into the basic grounding yourself...)
I guess I am just confused as to what to feel...should I be angry? I feel sad and lonely but that's not helping... Happiness seems impossible...should I just become apathetic and cynical the rest of my life? What exactly would a great man do given this situation...
I mean movies and books are full of men who overcome the odds and every advice is simply "get back up step by step"...but at the risk of sounding like a little teenage boy, I feel weak and helpless in my life, unsure as to what to do next...my brain can't seem to figure out what emotion to feel and from there my thoughts go from self hating, to hating the world, to just being numb...
what do I do anon?
>>16514658
Will reply in a moment, bump just in case.
Hi, my 2 cents.
Got some similar issue not that long ago.
I think, like others, that you should stop everything. Even if you get back together, you might end scared and suspicious of what she does, who she sees. Trust is gone and you'll just make it more painful if you guys keep seeing each others. I would cut every link with her and just try to put her out of my life.
Don't fall into the "all bitches" or "i'll never find someone like her". Some people are worth it and you'll find someone you feel good with later.
Then if I read you well, you are on your own with free time.You also might see it as an opportunity.
You're free to go anywhere and/or do whatever you wish. Time to fullfil it
>>16514658
Those men in movies and books are not far from where you are now. Everyone's going to struggle, and there is no shame in doing so. The key is not to let the feelings of grief and such restrict you from working and trying. It makes sense that you are just confused, you don't need to feel one thing in particular, there is no right feeling to feel for each situation. The only thing that you must feel is what you are feeling right now. This feeling may be similar to others in similar situations, or it may be completely foreign, regardless this feeling is key. You need to just let it happen, there is no need at this point to repress it, all you are going to do it make it worse. The numbness is the feeling of suppression, your body doesn't believe what's going on, because you are trying your hardest to pretend it's not real
Happiness isn't impossible, because feelings are exclusive. You can feel sad, yet you can feel happy at the same time. Happiness is possible though other aspects of your life, it may not be the same happiness you had in the past, or the happiness you wanted specifically, but regardless it's still happiness.
You are going to just take things slow right now. You are going to feel bad, but that's okay, feelings aren't to be feared, they are to be experienced, it's part of living, and it's part of healing. Let it happen, then go take a shower. After that, eat something solid, and then do something calm and get some sleep. Watch TV or something, but when it's time to sleep, leave your phone, laptop, and anything else off and outside your room. Just sleep tonight, that's the most important goal for tonight, tomorrow will come, and you'll address those issues then, but for right now, your number 1 job is to get some sleep.
I really would like to hear from you if you want someone to talk with, I think it would help, it would at least give you a place to verbalize your thoughts. You will make it, you just can't see it yet.
>>16514803
yea, that's the one side of it, I now have time...although not a lot of it since I don't have that much savings, it's still something that breaks the mundane day to day of the past year or so
>>16514806
Thanks for the offer Anon. But one thing I've never wanted to be in life is a burden. I'm down right now, but I'll feel guilty if someone who I haven't even met is taking extra time out of their day to check up on me...
You seem wise and open minded about all things. The career path will solve itself if I spent a few waking cycles on it...But there's this part of me that believes I can be friends with my gf given the affair. We met when she was at a low point in her life and was basically what you are to me right now... I do have feelings for her still. I've never cut anyone off in my life, I believe people change over time and their situation... maybe I have hope that if the stars align we can get back together, or if that doesn't happen, I still get to keep a friend that knew my inner most thoughts for 3 years.
She is probably open to me getting a new GF and us staying as just friends, to my dismay. But cutting her off makes me feel guilty, though it won't be my problem anymore, what if she would need me. As in my original post, seeing her smile in those photos warmed my heart...if I can find some way to accept that we will nothing more than just friends...I think we can be best friends. Everyone is just gonna say "just cut her off, it'll be easier". But life has never been easy for me and I've always done what I think is right despite how much I would give up...I'm selfless like that. It's kind of a matter of principle to be able to stay friends with her...that's what I think. What do you say wise anon?
My train of thought being more self sacrificing again might be a sign that I'm up on my feet...
desu it's not bad to hit a girl if she cheated on you and has the nerve to tell you to remain friends
>>16515041
I'd very much beg to differ that I'm that wise, it's just I don't have the attachment to your life, so I can see it with less emotion, which makes it seem wise.
If you want to stay friends, that's fine, but I think that's a poor idea. You should not get back together with her, she broke your trust and went to look at someone else. That's unforgivable in my book, then again you may be better than I am. The whole falling on the sword idea, seems really nice right now, but it's the emotion talking, you just need to feel something else. This is not a time to make decision like this, you said you were taking some time off, do that, stay away and take stock.
I had a friend whom I knew for 5 years, we shared almost everything. I saw him the other day, we had a bit of a disagreement, and sorta drifted apart, but I had enough so I held to my convictions, even if it meant losing him as a friend. The other day I saw him raising money for a fraternity, I waved at him, and he flicked me off in public. Only a year ago, he called me crying when they rejected him as a member of that same fraternity. People change, and it's hard to understand, and even harder to see why, but when someone shows you whom they are, don't change for them. When you walked out that day, you did the right thing, don't go back.
>never wanted to be in life is a burden
Stop this. I haven't been in your shoes, but I know what it feels like to feel utterly alone, I still feel like that. Think of it as doing me a favor, I'll have someone to talk with on occasion. I'm not offering to make myself feel better, I'm offering because while tonight you may feel okay, but there will be other nights, and I'm more than willing to sit and listen while doing other things. Pride is a good thing, but right now, you need someone to take a minute to touch base with you. Just a bit of a nudge, because sooner rather than later, you'll be on your way.
>>16515107
K, hit me up your email, here's a throw away
[email protected]
my friend count has been slowly dwindling after college
>>16515158
Sent you an email. Hope to hear back.
>>16513911
>you...
>everything...
>happy...
>crashes..
>month...
>>16513995
>again...
>suffering...
>22...
>now...
>>16514073
>dream...
>nothing...
>today...
>>16514289
>something...
>months...
>opportunities...
>anon...
>future...
>years...
>>16514658
>moment...
>yourself...
>helping...
>impossible...
>situation...
>step...
>next...
>numb...
>>16515041
>time...
>me...
>it...
>situation...
>heart...
>up...
>friends...
>feet...
>her...
What the fuck is wrong with your "period" key? You're a fucking pity party with the pathetic way you type. You deserve everything you've gotten so far being such a next level beta.
The way you're typing it's obvious you aren't worth being around when you can't even properly get test going. Who would want to deal with that in a reIationshit with you?
Your pity party typing is awefuI and wiII continue to drive peopIe away aIong with that horribIe beta outIook to everything. You think anyone wouId be Iooking to reward this with a reIationshit?
SeriousIy if you weren't anon this wouId be embarrassing beyond beIief. No one has posted this beta in months and at Ieast they had controI of their "period" key.
>Iearn how to type
>man up
>Iearn from these days
>grow
>move on
>things get better if you get better
But as you are in these posts no one wiII want to deaI with someone Iike this when there are a bunch of peopIe out there not stuck in their pity party who they wouId actuaIIy enjoy being around.
>>16513911
>Part of me hopes that me being gone will make her miss me more than the other guy and she breaks it off with the other guy.
>IiteraIIy haven't seen her that happy in a long time
You reaIized she favors him over you by a Iot, and you stiII hope she'II stiII spend her Ieftover time with you when she's not sIutting it up with him?
>find about 10 of pics of them together
>this mofo is super happy he got his first "girlfriend"
>this has been going on for months
/adv/ - kucks everywhere
>>16508724
Why is this the onIy board where betas get kucked? Every other board has aIpha stories about how great it was after but you guys aIways screw yourseIves over again and again.
