You guys are gonna get a kick outta this one
>be 20
>meet 18 yr old at work
>cute
>help her register for classes n shit
>cool.jpg
>invite her to pizza
>shes cool
>she likes MGS3
>cupidarrow.jpg
>invite her to my house
>we talk alot
>tell each other secrets
>connect deeply
>instantly become in a relatinship
>we have no experience in being bf/gf
>she helps me with homework, morale support, etc. more than what my mom ever did
>I just kiss her and say im sorry idk how to make it up to you
>its fine you dont have to (I learned that this was BULLSHIT far too late)
1 week later
>I break up with her
>I deemed myself unworthy of being her boyfriend
>she can find someone better
>she doesn't understand
>she's hurt
>I regret my decision
>she needs time apart
1 month later
>I text her
>no reply
>try each day for 3 days
>she replies "meet me at the staircase"
>"your not being honest. fuck off"
>send her one final text "i dont know what I did, but im sorry. I appreciate everything you did for me. I'll miss you. Sincerely"
I thought that if I threw away my only source of happiness, I would be able to find something else and not abuse her kindness that she offers everyday. Since this semester started, she's transformed into a total bitch and won't tell me what I did wrong. I'm not gonna lie, I feel like killing myself. I just don't have the balls.
/adv/, how do I move on from this situation? I know I fucked up, and now I'm feeling the pain she felt last year, but I seriously didn't want any bad blood between us. Every time I see her, she goes from happily talking to her friends to complete sadness/browsing through her phone. Now I'm forced to work with her and attend a 3 hour class with her every Friday.
So far, I've only come up with one potential solution: FUCKING BITCH SHE WON'T TELL ME WHAT I DID WRONG WE SHARED EVERYTHING BETWEEN US
There's also the possibility that she just wants to put me through what I put her through, but I doubt it.
Help pls. I know I'm pathetic.
I literally can't even comprehend how you can type that whole post out and not realize how fucking stupid you are
>>15313265
>she likes MGS3
No one likes that game, though.
>cool.jpg
stopped reading
>>15313265
I mean, you broke up with her, dude. That's what you did wrong, and I guarantee she took it as a slap in the face instead of the declaration of self-loathing and inadequacy you apparently intended it to be. You don't really have any chance with this girl, she's allowed herself to become completely cold towards you at this point. Just harden your heart and move on, Anon. And don't do that next time.
Yeah, you fuck up but at least you seem to realize your level of idiocy. You chickened out of being there for her due to your own fear of inadequacy rather than focus on making yourself better. You gave up. Hopefully you won't make that mistake with someone else.
If she refuses to talk to you after you actively make attempts to talk to her, there's nothing you can do. Your relationship is over. Move on.
Dude, how old are you? You sound like you're under 17 years old. You need to chill, smoke some weed, play some video games, guitar, whatever you're into. Get your mind off of this shit. Girls don't like it when you obsess over them, back off. It's harder than it sounds, but trust me it will work. And if not, then you will meet someone else. You can't force people to feel shit, they either do or they don't.
Good luck, but seriously chill.
The solution I meant to say was to become hostile towards her as well. Might make me feel better actually. However, if there's even some miniscule piece of me insider her, I really don't want to become hostile. We told each other EVERYTHING. I honestly think we said too much. We texted almost 24/7 during the time we were together. She met my parents and I was planning to meet her parents as well.
It's just .. I know I fucked up. But I want to fix the situation and she's not cooperating for an unknown reason. I sure as hell didn't cheat on her. I only disrespect her in a playful manner and she does the same to me as well. She's well aware of my anxiety issues involving people in general, and she still agreed in becoming my girlfriend.
idk man I'm just really fucking depressed its hard to breathe. Hell, its hard to play video games.
>>15313265
You literally posted exactly what you did wrong and you can't see it. But I'll make it easy for you.
She connected with you, shared secrets and completely opened up to you. She went out with you and prob was enjoying it to. But your own self confidence problems caused you to toss her to the side of the street like garbage and she feels betrayed.
You ruined it all yourself buddy, not easy way to put it.
>>15313265
Wha- I mean...you...
Jesus fucking Christ, are you legitimately retarded or just trolling?
>>15313272
told you you'd get a kick outta this
>>15313290
I suppose. Yeah, I'll have to deal with it somehow.
>>15313265
OP, now you need to answer because whether or not you say yes or no will have a major change on how people view this thread.
Do you have autism?
>>15313296
Go see a psychiatrist before you end up on the news
>>15313265
She is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay way way way waaay waaaaaaaaaaaay waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way way better off without you.
Move on.
>not mgs2
you did the right thing
>>15313298
Honestly I didn't know what I was doing half the time. I'm telling u man, suicide is my only way out. No one has ever done this before. And I shouldn't have done it to someone as pure as her.
>>15313299
did you get a kick out of it?
I guess posting on /adv/ was a mistake. I'm desperate trying to find someone on my side since it feels like the world is against me now. I can't stop thinking about just taking my life away. My grades aren't that great and I fade into the walls with people not even being able to remember my name after a week or so.
I feel lonely. There's no way to recover from this.
>>15313325
You are a massive drama queen.
>>15313337
Not a solution but ok I guess that's true.
I have been hitting the gym like 3 times a week. Maybe I can take someone out with me.
>>15313315
Lol. Most people are real pieces of shit, like you. So your opinion means nothing.
>>15313325
You just need to relax, you fucked up take the experience and hopefully you learned your lesson so that you don't do it again.
People dump people for all types of reasons, you're making this out to be way more of a problem than it is. In fact the problem is so minuscule I legit can't fathom how this could even provoke suicidal thoughts (and this is coming from kissless no gf fag)
>>15313346
That's not OP. I'm OP. He's right.
>>15313325
>someone as pure as her
lol holy shit faggot, get over her and yourself
>>15313342
oh man, so fit hurd dur man, look at you bein tuff on da internet. Watch out guys, we got a badass over here. Hittin the gym n shit, makin threats.
This is what happens with women. If they don't hurt you directly you'll hurt yourself for them. It's odd how they do that.
I hope you learned your lesson.
>>15313350
but OP, he's right. She is better off without you. Just read your OP, OP.
Read all that stupid selfish shit you wrote. Get over yourself.
>>15313349
These next few years are gonna suck.
For the record, she is already aware that I regret my decision. I let her know I made an impulsive decision and I shouldn't have done that to her. She then request some time alone and I guess over the vacation she found someone else or completely got over me.
Either way, I can't calm down. I've had 2 and 1/2 cups of water throughout the whole day. I don't even feel hungry. I don't want to sleep. I just want to go back in time and fix my mistakes. Sadly reality sucks. I suck. I hope someone on /adv/ got a good laugh out of this. I always make people smile even if I do fail academically or being socially awkward.
Just... sigh. I might set up a /b/ meeting so they can record me jumping off the GW bridge. Or the Highline down at 20th street.
>>15313374
Dude she has a good chance of killing herself to if she thinks she made you jump of a bridge. At the very least she'll be a wreck,
You'll be dead however so you won't be able to care.
>>15313357
lul
>>15313365
I did. Thanks.
>>15313371
I would say I'm autistic, but if there's at least one good quality about me, its my honesty. I know I fucked up. I won't deny it. But it's getting to the point where it's unbearable.
>>15313374
Alright, well enjoy killing yourself instead of learning from your mistakes and improving, pussy.
and props on wanting to kill yourself in the most boring ways possible
>>15313265
>I thought that if I threw away my only source of happiness, I would be able to find something else and not abuse her kindness that she offers everyday.
You cannot comprehend how little sense this makes to me. Are you on the spectrum? This is not me trying to call you an autist, I'm genuinely wondering how you came to make this decision. A cognitive psychologist could have a field day with your internal sentences.
BTW, don't kill yourself, other people will come along
>>15313378
Then we can get married in heaven with heavenly mandingo cocks. My life isn't that important. I'm like a homestuck whos trying really hard to become someone important in the real world. I wasn't aware it would be this difficult. Hit me like a truck yo.
>>15313378
Yeah, this. OP, if you kill yourself you greatly increase the likelihood of your friends/family doing it too. Look at Hemingway
>>15313265
Dont an hero. I fucked up bad with a fwb i fell in love with, i kind of did the same thing as you. Its been two weeks with no contact from each side. I was thinking about her every fucking second the first week, was miserable. Its getting better now, im thinking about her slightly less each day.
Chalk it up as a learning experience and keep it moving.
>>15313374
You're just sad, not feeling hungry etc. is once again completely normal. If you actually put your mind to it and started making yourself do shit you'll prob get over her faster than you expect. She doesn't even seem that great of chick tbh, especially not worth killing yourself imho.
You're only limited by yourself.
>>15313383
Nvm, I should have read the thread -anon
>>15313383
I got an hour late to one of our dates, and she wasn't mad. At all. Slap me, punch me, punish me someway somehow, she refused and said its ok because I like you. This went on multiple times. She's saving her virginity for marriage, and she's really scared about doing anything sexual, yet, when I played with her pussy with my dick, she said its ok I don't really know whats happening.
I couldn't take it anymore. I was falling in love with a slave.
Op, I had a 2000 character response posted and 4chan ate it.
The short and simple is, you probable have histrionic personality disorder.
What you did was shitty, whether you meant to "save her" as some sort of "dark knight" or not. It was really about you inadequacy and fear of being discovered to be fake that puts you into the position of being a giant asshole, and whether you really are deep down or not, actions are what count, and people become who they're pretending to be.
Do some homework in "Writing your way to happiness". Get that article and do it for the next 10 days repeatedly. Actually do it. Don't keep having the same thought patterns and behaviors come up without actually figuring them out and creating solutions.
Get into therapy, and prime your clinician to let them know you're HPD, otherwise they'll be misled by your ability to "fake being good" for a while, and when they figure it out finally and try to actually really help you instead of enable you, you'll be pissed and leave, because noone likes a relationship where the rules change. Thats why HPDs fail in therapy. They're the most insecure and thus need to have the right environment to help them from the start.
She thinks you're an asshole trying to fuck her vagina again by saying sorry and you know what you did, being dishonest while saying she's the liar. Drop her. Work on yourself. Happiness doesn't come from others. It can't, because people die, opinions change, and so on. It can only come from one place.
>>15313399
I really like this post. It's not what I deserve, but thanks.
>>15313414
Holy shit. Many thanks for putting this much thought into it. I'll look into this.
>>15313408
OK, I can accept that reasoning. But that just makes it more important not to kill yourself. If she's like you say, this will destroy her.
I was recently in a similar position to you - massive regret, lying in bed wanting to die, hyperventilating some of the time, even. But it passed, like everything does. You're 20, dude. If this is the worst thing to happen in your life you're lucky compared to a lot of people. You've got decades to get over this, don't throw your life away.
How can I archive this thread? I want to save it and send it to her. I don't know why I want to, but I don't really care either lol.
>>15313414
I have to write a proper reply to this. I always did base my life on supporting people from the shadows. She was ok with it for a while, but 2 days ago she texted me, "if you want to talk to me, come out of the shadows. Stop texting like a coward"
I did come out of the shadows. I worked with her. However, all of my efforts were shutdown since she instantly looked down at her phone as I opened my mouth. I became the class clown along with the teacher today. It was a fun time. After class ended, I tried talking to her in person, no more texting. And she didn't want any part of me being near her. I gave up, sent the final text, and now I'm here.
The gym does help me clear my thoughts. It is kind of hard to balance gym,work, and school all at once.
I look into therapy as a last resort. I'll do the "Write my way to happiness" thing in the mean time.
>>15313476
Cowardice is the ancient rhetoric to shame or enrage people into acting, mostly so she could get a shot to shove it in your face by ignoring you.
If this is what really happened in the situation, you know to leave it alone. Make sure that's really how it happened and you haven't altered the narrative.
>>15313488
I'm too depressed to lie to you guys. Everything I've said is 100% true and 200% autistic according to anons.
>>15313507
But are you lying to yourself?
A fucking idiot like yourself should just kill yourself. You'll never be happy because you'll just keep doing awkward stuff like this because you hate yourself. Whenever you get intimate with another you'll push her away by showing your inadequacies and it'll prove to yourself what I'm telling you. Kill yourself and spare yourself the trouble of living this life.
>>15313515
Yawn.
>>15313265
What the fuck do you mean you dont know what you did wrong? You fucking admitting to psychologically sabotaging yourself CONCIOUSLY.
You broke up your relationship actively creating an unstable environment for a relationship and acrively DOING THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU WISHED YOU COULD HAVE DONE which was providing repayment for her kindness i stead offering penance in confusions.
>>15313513
I'm not sure what you mean .. I really do want her back, but I mean, I really want to have sex as well. I guess I am lieing to myself in some way.
Her morale and academic support will surely help me in the long run, but I doubt I'll be able to resist from trying to have sex with her. This is what I mean. I don't deserve her. I'll just drag her down with my drama and sexual tendencies.
>>15313515
See >>15313519
>>15313531
Thats why OP is HPD. Derp.
>>15313544
HPDs and BPDs are notorious sex hounds wther a guy or a girl.
Not that there's anything wrong with being horny and needing some, but if its a compulsion that ruins relationships, there's something wrong with that.
>>15313531
She's still salty I broke up with her? Well guess what, I'm pretty fuckin broken down as well. I admit my mistakes, I regret my decision, and now I've made myself to be her plaything by becoming a cold arrogant bitch. I have done EVERYTHING in my power to fix the situation, too bad emotions are too difficult to comprehend for me.
Maybe she thinks the more I try to reason with her, the more these invisible chains wrap around her. How the fuck should I know what's going on in her head when she requests for things and still doesn't want to speak to me?
Makes me furious. I'll just move on.
