How to deal with constant jealousy and suspicion of your girlfriend?
>>16509891
Don't take any action on the feelings. They're just just feelings and not the reality they appear to be.
>>16509893
I get very angry at her for doing very small things.
I'll give some examples.
She works in a small company with 2 other people, only. They are both guys and I think married and/or engaged. They have a one hour lunch break each day and eat in one of the few restaurants in the local area and if they choose the same restaurant, then they eat together. I get jealous.
Another example: today she went to her sister's house and while she was there she sent a picture of her dinner which had a lot of beer and a harder liquor in the picture as well. Then her phone died and she was out very late and so I was worried. And now at like 1:30 she video chats me through her sister's phone and I asked "why was there so much beer in the photo you sent me?" And she responds that she drank beer and hard liquor with her sister and her sister's husband, then her phone died so she had to borrow her sister's. I told her I was worried and I don't like that she drank without telling me in advance.
I am constantly suspicious and jealous over things that I realize on a cognitive level are probably, almost certainly unwarranted, but it's to the point that I can't focus in work or studying or anything nearly as well because I am constantly feeling this way.
Help?
>>16509891
Break up or find a terapist.
Date several girls then you become the one they are suspicious of.
Is me calling you the king of beta of any motivation to you?
Jesus dude, don't you want your girlfriend to be a sociable, fun person? Learn to love the fact that your gf is in touch with her needs to not be constantly bored and isolated. It doesn't mean you're being kekt.
>>16509918
I used to. I used to do that a lot and messed around and that's why I'm so suspicious, because I used to do exactly that and I remember how easily I was able to lie about it, so now I have trust issues I guess.
>>16509915
Seconded
Since you obviously don't have the maturity to work your issues out yourself, I also believe a therapist could help.
Then you should know that as long as the sex is great women will never leave.
>>16509926
>>16509921
Look it's not like I can just say "yeah I should just get over it and trust her", as I said >>16509913
I'm kind of aware that it's unreasonable to be jealous here but I can't help it.
>>16509891
AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! FUCK!!! ME!!! HARDER!!! I'M CUMMING!!!! HNNNGGHHHHYAAAAA!!! Wrap your legs around my back, hunny. What did he mean by this?
>>16509921
Kind of? It's hard for me, really.
>>16509891
you don't faggot all women are hypergamous and opportunistic. she will have backup boyfriends and a relationship with you will not stop her from looking for a better option. this is what female nature is all about and why our species did not go extinct because women want the best genes they can get and this creates a strong gene pool.
>>16509932
Yeah... it takes a certain level of maturity to perform introspective research on your feelings.
Therapists exist mostly to help people like you who don't want to examine themselves and find out why they have certain thoughts on specific subjects. Most people who see therapists don't have any specific disorder, they are just manchildren who say to themselves "I think the way I think and that is that!"
>>16509947
"It's cool." Nvm, no more quotes. This girl who owns me doesn't want me to suck up information from anybody. Newsflash: you want rationalism to be true! It's not! Read a book! Of like 600 years ago! Fucking! Cunt!
Pic unrelated. "Are you sure, senpai? I don't know if this is a good..aaahhh yes there, yess..."
>>16509948
I've been to therapists before, really, as I had the mindset that "there can't be any hard in doing it and it's free at my university so why not."
They told me, essentially many times "it's going to take many many sessions to get to know you first" and they asked many times "why are you here? You don't seem to have anything specific you want to talk about so I'm just curious" and beyond that they just stroked my ego while I talked about good things.
I am absolutely willing to examine the way I think, really. I get a very real worry in my head though, which leads to me being upset and angry, and then ultimately being very sad and not wanting to talk to her at all.
Part of the reason I have these feelings is because I cheated on a past partner, and never told her. Our relationship ended for a completely different reason due to one of us moving far away for different reasons, but I know how much I cheated and I know how easily I lied about it, and it was because I didn't take the relationship seriously. Now that I'm doing things "right" and I'm actually serious about this relationship, I'm terrified that my partner may as well be doing exactly the same thing to me that I did to that other girl a long time ago.
Likewise, I had another experience where a girl I dated for a few months had actually crafted a completely fake identity for herself and was a convicted criminal and there's a whole fiasco about how she tried to frame me for a burglary and a list of other crimes by having me be at the scene with her when she did them, etc. And I trusted her because I was young and naive. Likewise, all that compounded with constantly, for hours every day, reading stories on the Internet about how "cheating is the norm" have me absolutely terrified.
I try to work but then become very jealous and start imagining my girlfriend in these situations and I can't seem to help it.
>>16509958
What are you on about?
>>16509977
Cool, so you know why you're crazy, because you're a cheater.
So this is all on you. You simply have to trust that the things that she tells you are the truth until she proves otherwise, as well as avoid getting into relationships with people who are secretive.
>>16509995
This girl lied to me about her age though, and that trust has never come back.
She lied that she was 30 for the first 2 months when she was really 36. That shocked me, because we were really very close even just by that point and I was not expecting that.
So does that count as "proving otherwise"?
Again, as I said, I want to trust what she says. Really. I just start working and suddenly can't focus on it because these thoughts and images get into my mind and then I can't think about anything but that until I talk it out with her again.
