How do I stop being a yes man and stand up for myself ? I'm fucking scared of any type of confrontations whatsoever, I can hardly make eye contact and I always mumble.
>>17369334
by not being a yes man and standing up for yourself.
there's no magic trick, magic pill or magic words that will fix this for you. you do by doing.
>>17369336
You make it sound so simple and it probably is but I feel like I'll just come off as an awkward spaz.
>>17369348
>you make it sound so simple
>thats eaiser said then done
>its not that easy
we get that a lot. and again i say
>no magic tricks
life isn't meant to be easy. its not easy for anyone else standing up for themselves, they just know its better than the alternative, and once they work their way to knowing exactly how to do it, they realize that its better to be a spazz that people dont mess with than it is to be a spazz that everyone walks over.
nothing is meant to be as easy.
>>17369358
Fair enough, I'll try.
>>17369382
good luck anon. its a thousand little battles. worth it though. I used to bottle it all up until one day i threw a chair at a guy who called me a faggot.
after that i started trying to be deliberate and stand up for myself. was mumbling mess at first. but over the years I Grew, and im at a point where I'm the one inciting violent reactions towards me.
totally worth it.
>>17369392
Thanks anon, it's precisely the reason why I came here, I feel like if I don't act on it now I'll end up snapping someday.
>>17369405
keep at it. its worth it. it starts by saying 'no' to someone.
>>17369334
I'm going to tell you a secret. I don't know why life works like this, but it does.
>you are afraid
>afraid to display who you are
>if you do, bad things will happen
>fired
>unfriended
>divorced
>whatever the worst case scenario is.
Here's the truth
>that is all a lie
We hate ourselves. We choose to believe we are unlovable. However, that is false
If you take on that fear, and push through, you will have something great happen. But, you have to be you. Don't parrot anyone else. You have to be true to your thoughts and beliefs.
Life is like those plastic easter eggs. There is a treat in each one, but everytime you find one, there is a spider on it that scares you away.
The spider can't hurt you. It's just fear. Push through, and you'll see.
>>17369334
Start confrontations just for the hell of it. Don't forget that courage is something you only need to have for a couple seconds, then it's all dealing with the fallout.
I'm serious. Insult guys just to see what will happen, or because you came up with a good zinger. Tell chicks straight out what you think of their tits. Laugh at people's political ideas. You'll gradually realize that it's not so bad, and in fact the average outcome is neutral (they start mumbling and looking away out of the same idiot fear) to good (end up motorboating big ol' tiddies).
Hurl yourself into life. Learn to enjoy the fray.
The first few times you stand up for yourself, you probably will still be a stuttering mess with a weak voice on the verge of tears, but I guarantee you will feel a billion times better about yourself afterwards and your self confidence will sky rocket.
>>17369334
Work on yourself and get some confidence. It may be a sudden boost or gradual, but once you're sure of yourself you'll have an easier time standing up for yourself or others.
Working any type of job that requires face-to-face or some interaction with the public could help. You can't be a shy, mumbling, spineless 'yes' man when dealing with people that will walk all over you or treat you like dirt. You'll have to say 'no' to some asking the impossible and soon conflict won't seem like a big deal, plus you'll realize most people are idiots or spineless (!) so it doesn't really fucking matter. I had plenty of trash threaten to kick my ass after my shift due to me just simply not being able to fully refund something and nothing ever came about.
It's crazy how much I changed after dealing with that crap for years. I'm now the guy that can walk into a room, chat up strangers or get into debates whereas before I'd be stumbling over my words and just silently nodding.
>>17370167
>Start confrontations just for the hell of it
Nope. Don't do this. Work on getting your confidence up in better ways.
Where I come from this is a good way to get your ass kicked or earn a bad reputation. Seriously, who goes up to random people and insults them or picks fights? Even if nothing physical comes about you'll just look like a little edgy asshole that never mentally left high school.
I do agree with that last statement though about throwing yourself at life. You'll learn things real quick that way.
