About a month ago I moved back to Chicago. My older sister had told me I could stay with her. In her own words: You can stay with me as long as you need.
After my plans are set, I ask her if I can stay for about a month. She turns around and tells me more or less that she expects me to find a new job and an apartment within a week.
I wasn't happy about it and wished she had made that clearer from the beginning. Without other options, I accepted the offer.
My summer job expected me to work 70+ hour weeks. I couldn't handle it and quit because I was starting to suffer health problems. I explained the situation to my sister in advance and got her approval to quit and move in with her early. She offers to set me up with a job where she works. It would be full-time with benefits.
Less than five minutes after I arrive at her place, she starts lecturing me about taking work seriously and how my performance reflects on her. I'm 27 years old. I'm not a child. When she offered to help me find a job there, I made it clear to her that I'd work hard and give proper notice, 2 weeks, if I found a better place to work.
She lectured me for quite a while. Not wanting to upset her, because she was my landlord and soon-to-be co-worker at the time, I sat there, nodded and re-assured her that I'd do right by her while she continued to berate me. She had the interview set up the day after I moved back, which made it impossible to cancel. At that point she'd made it clear that she didn't want me working there.
The day of the interview she insisted she'd drive me instead of taking public transportation. During the drive, she started off by lecturing me again about taking the job seriously, being professional and being respectful of my co-workers. My sister told me about a few positions that were open, including a fruit slicing position--I was interviewing at a grocery store. The fruit slicers sit in a refrigerator and slice fruit. Sometimes they bring it out to customers (cont.)
>>17366995
(cont.)
, but most of the time they sit in the fridge and slice fruit. My sister said they were cool guys, but she didn't like the job. I'm trying to stay calm before the interview, even though the situation is already stressful. I respond, "That sounds like a good job." While driving on a busy Chicago street, she turns to me and yells, "You're not taking this seriously enough!" then continues talking about other positions that are available.
I go through the interview, answer the questions as best I can and think of a way to graciously turn down the offer if they give it to me. They tell me they'll call me back in a few days.
A week goes by; I'm still stuck at my sister's apartment because landlords don't rent to the jobless, even when they can pay six months rent up front. My older sister keeps pressuring me and telling me I'm not taking the job and apartment search seriously enough. She tells me to do things I've already done since I moved back: look for a roommate situation. I explain that out of the hundreds of emails I sent out only a few responded, most of which told me they were looking for someone with a job or someone that was not a male. The only ones that responded where either in bad neighborhoods or with horrendous people who left the common areas a mess, didn't do dishes more than once a month and worked from home. The only decent one didn't call me back after he gave me a tour.
Eventually she texts me that she wants me out of there in a few days under the guise of having a discussion. I'm pissed that she texted me instead of talking to me in-person and moreso that she said it was a discussion when she gave me a date to move out. I had no choice, but I had managed to get one of my parents to co-sign a lease on an apartment and was arranging to move-in the next day. My plan was to sleep in my car that night then move in. The move in day was delayed because of the building engineer and I ended up spending $330 on a hotel.
(cont.)
>>17367029
I understand that my older sister lives in a small one bedroom apartment and is a clean freak. I did my best to respect her space, leave the apartment frequently and not make a mess.
Nonethless, I find the way she treated me unfair and downright rude. While I was still living with her, I told her that I was turning down the grocery store job because it was clear she didn't want me taking it. She kind of looked to the side and mumbled that she meant it to be a last resort, which was an obvious lie because she set up the interview for me the day after I got back.
I'm looking for re-assurance. I've blown up in the past for stupid reasons, but I believe I'm justified in my anger here.
Am I right to be angry? I'm stuck in an apartment I don't want without a job and am pissing away my savings because my older sister misrepresented herself and forced me out before I had a chance. That's reasonable, right?
>>17367041
>>17367029
>>17366995
Bump. May I please have an outside perspective on the situation?
>>17367058
Self-bump. Am I worthy of pity?
>>17367107
>>17367107
I guess I'm the asshole. It would be nice if someone explained why.
You are 27 yrs old and you can't hold a job, people stop losing jobs after they are 16. So yes, there is a reason why she is lecturing you.
If you don't like what she is saying, get the fuck out of her place. Seems like you want a free ride and not do anything.
>>17367107
Anon, your sister sounds like a major bitch. Just saying.
Got any friends that could help?
>>17367041
>even when they can pay six months rent up front
You saved up six months worth of money? Why did your sister require that you get a job so fast if you're able to pay your share of the rent?
It sounds like there are holes in this story. Your sister allows you to move in with the idea that you will get a job and quickly get back on your feet. When you failed to do that, she kicked you out. That seems to be a logical step someone would do in such a situation.
>>17367139
As far as feeling angry, I think you should be angry at yourself for not getting a damn job. You're 27 and you should be able to hold on to a job. It's unclear what happened to your previous position but unless you were laid off, it seems like you have very little reason to be upset with your sister.
>>17367117
No, actually. I paid her rent once I was there for more than a week. I offered to buy groceries, but she eats out for almost every meal even though that forces her to beg my parents for rent most months.
I also found an apartment and am paying my own rent, as stated in the original post.
People lose jobs all the time. Most Americans don't work until they've graduated from college. I started working when I was 15. Up until the recession, I had no problems finding work. If you bothered to read my post, you'd notice I quit because I didn't want to work 70-80 hours a week. It's worth mentioning they paid me a day rate, not by the hour. I made the same amount no matter how many hours I worked.
>>17367126
I'm not living with her anymore. I found an apartment with my parents as a co-signer. I'm writing this to figure out if I'm right in being angry at her. She offered to let me stay. I feel like she baited and switched me.
>>17367139
I offered to pay her rent and paid her for one of the weeks I stayed with her, as I promised. I turned down the job at the grocery store because it was obvious she didn't want me to take it and I didn't want to place myself in an uncomfortable work place. I've had a good number of interviews since I moved back and am working a temp job this week. I'm not unemployable by any means.
>>17367144
I moved back to Chicago from Southern California. I found a temporary job with a summer camp. They paid a day rate, meaning the same amount of pay regardless of hours worked, and expected 70-80 hours of work per week. It was a shit-show. It's not healthy to work that many hours in a week. I would've stuck it out if they were paying me a decent wage, but my older sister said it would be okay if I quit and move in with her.
>>17367165
So while at this camp you managed to save up nearly six months worth of money. You moved back with your sister who told you to get a real job and gave you a ultimatum that you must do it within the week.
Based on how you write it sounds like your entire family is tired of you not holding a steady job. Your sister tried to be "big sis" and helped you get back in gear by giving you a girl kick in rear end and you failed to meet her expectations and she kicked you out.
Honestly I don't see why you would feel angry. Some people out there wish they had a sister who could straighten them out. Your sister failed to do so and now you disappointed her enough to where you left with nearly six months worth of money that you somehow saved up at some camp somewhere.
>>17367176
>So while at this camp you managed to save up nearly six months worth of money.
No. I saved the money before taking the camp job.
How do you expect someone to find a job and an apartment in a city where they just moved in two weeks? She wanted me out in one. Where do you live?
It's worth mentioning that before I moved I worked at a museum for almost a year and a half. I paid my parents rent during that time, but couldn't find a place to live in Southern California--the housing prices are exorbitant. That's why I moved back to Chicago.
I offered to pay my older sister rent. I never planned on staying with her for more than a couple months at the most, during which I would pay my share of the rent. Despite staying I could stay as long as I needed, she asked me to leave--through text--after two weeks. Sounds like bullshit. Am I right?
I want to know before I talk to her about it. She's been pressing me to hang out. I'm delaying because I don't want to blow up at her and cause a rift in the family if it's not worth it.
>>17367200
Your sister invited you to a function? It sounds like she is a very nice person. She asked you find a job within a week and you failed to do that. She kicked you out but yet still wants you to be part of the family.
It sounds to me like you're a job jumper. You jump from one job to another. At age 27 that is still okay to do but I think in very short order that won't be okay to do. I think your sister was trying to help you get back on your feet.
It sounds unusual that you are a good money saver but yet you don't have a stable job. So that is a very good quality you have, if that fact is true and certainly a unusual trait to have given your situation. You're able to drop 300+ dollars on a hotel without any dent on your savings that you don't replenish? That is very good but very unusual given the jobs you had in the past.
With that said, I don't think you should be upset with your sister. Instead I think you should make her proud by finding a job. Imagine if you're this good at saving money, what sort of money you could save if you had a very good job? You could probably be a very rich person and retired by age 40 if you can save 6 months worth of rent from odd end jobs that pays little.
>>17367029
>The only ones that responded where either in bad neighborhoods or with horrendous people
You're being a bit too picky here, t_b_h.
She wasn't super nice about it but I get why she would be annoyed, I also get why you would be. Stop with this ridiculous "who is right/wrong" bullshit, it doesn't help anybody. In the end the whole shit is your problem and not hers, so it's extra stupid to blame her for being not helpful enough.
>>17367232
You've said what you have to say after basing it on false assumptions about me. It's unusual to save that amount of money while working wageslave job, but I'm responsible with my money and take my job seriously. If I'd stuck around at my last job, I would've been promoted to supervisor, but I found what appeared to be a supervisor job at a camp. It didn't work out. I only took the job to put me closer to Chicago.
I still state that expecting someone to find a job within a week is unrealistic. You're either a troll or delusional.
your sister was generous enough to offer you free room and board and all she asked in return is that you get your shit together, and you find reason to complain in this way? grow the fuck up, baby.
>I'm 27 years old. I'm not a child.
Then act like it.
>>17367235
By bad neighborhoods, I mean gang shootings and murders. I've lived in rough neighborhoods before.
She offered to let me stay with her. Why was she annoyed?
I spent almost every waking hour while I was at her place applying to jobs and inquiring about apartments. I did all I could.
>>17367245
Once again, I paid her rent. She refused at first, but I insisted. I also bought her meals and cooked for her when the opportunity presented itself.
I also paid for my own meals while I lived there with the exception of two. I'm very much an adult.
>>17367256
Not in the way you complain, you don't. You want advice? Get your grown ass out of there. There's your advice. She's not obligated to put a roof over your head.
>>17367256
Look nobody is saying they don't understand why you're upset. You can be upset about anything. Heck I get upset thinking about how if I had a jobless 27 years old brother with six months worth of rent saved up I'd punch him right in the mouth than offer him room or food.
What we're trying to say is that you're being childish about it. Your sister tried to help you, you got upset over the conditions she laid out. She failed, you failed, everyone failed. You're still jobless, but you still got a awesome sister.
Quit acting like a selfish little bastard and get your shit together.
>>17367250
>She offered to let me stay with her. Why was she annoyed?
Because people say dumb shit without meaning it all the time.
>"I take you until death do us part" (couple years before a divorce)
>"I hope you die" (in a heated argument)
>"You can stay with me as long as you need." (when you offer help to your brother)
It's stupid, it's annoying but that's how society works and how most people communicate.
Also I don't think it's as much down to money, I have no idea how your sis rolls, but I'd be pretty annoyed to have somebody at my place for too long.
Besides again, it all doesn't matter now. Say you was right to be angry at her? What now?
