How do you deal with a significant other who refuses to give in on anything? In our relationship I'm almost always the one either flat out giving in or getting the raw end of a compromise. Recently we've been fighting a lot because there's an issue I just can't give in to and I can't let it go. Without saying what it is, it's a matter of them simply agreeing to something that would give them no extra obligations on top of what they already have or hurt them in any way to agree to. At this point it's not even so much the lack of agreement that is upsetting me but the unwillingness of the other person to even compromise on this issue.
I do love this person dearly and I do not wish to argue or fight with them. We have a wonderful time together when we're not fighting but this is a huge issue and this person seems wholly unwilling to resolve or compromise on it.
About a week ago I was talking to someone from more of a counseling website when I was in a crisis and the topic changed to my relationship with this person. Most of it made me think of this person as pleasant and good for me in general, but one question really struck me. The person asked me who I felt put more into our relationship and well, it was me.
I give in on almost every issue we have (and the person rarely gives in, I can only think of a handful of times), I tell the person that I love them every day (but I hear it from them maybe once every other week, sometimes not even sure they still do), I'm always available for the person to talk to (some days they don't even speak to me), I never send them angry messages (but they do send me), I never say horrible things to them out of anger (but they have to me), I never yell at them (they do not yell at me either, however), I never got upset at them for doing something and then doing the same thing if not worse (they have), I never almost threw them away like garbage because I was mad at them for something (they have), I never compromised with them on something and then broke the compromise (they have).
With all the horrible things this person has said to me I forgave them for it the second they said it. But it's so hard to deal with thinking back on it. Especially when we're trying to be happy together, an issue pops up, and this person is unwilling to make the tiniest compromise for something that I really need.
I've never told this person I hated them or that I wish I had never met them no matter how they made me feel. But they have to me.
>>16506512
You sound like a doormat and being used as one. Speak up and don't let them walk over you. Others will only respect you as much as you respect yourself.
>>16506522
How do I stop being a doormat?
>>16506541
Speak up. Don't bottle up your feelings, and have self esteem. If you respect yourself and draw a firm line in the sand, others will start respecting you as well. If you think your only value is pleasing others (not true), others will exploit it.
Your word should have weight and no should mean no, but in order to pull that off, you have to think about what you are saying. If you bitch around then change your mind often, no one will take you seriously.
Good lord, leave this relationship. Break up.
>>16506522
I feel this too.
Right my my SO has no car insurance and keeps missing the bus to work.
He says its lose my job or take your car. He crashed it already once 3 days after i bought it and never paid the damages.
I feel like such a doormat and I just want him to leave in time for the bus or lose his job at this point
>>16506553
No. I love this person more than anything.
>>16506498
You sound like you are infatuated and can't see what's really going on. Their behavior is shit tier, you should confront them, or leave.
>>16506558
Then this is how you'll live (if they don't end up leaving you).
>>16506586
>Their behavior is shit tier
This.
Confront them.
>>16506498
>>16506502
In ever relationship, there's give and take. Someone will always be giving or taking more than the other. But you have to realize when it's too extreme and the other person is too selfish/just using you. That's not something you fix, that's something you get away from. It sounds like you want to be partners, but right now, you're just a doormat.
>>16506558
>No. I love this person more than anything.
Then nothing will ever change, because they know they have you under complete control. Sometimes people are more willing to budge if they realize that you're NOT stuck with them and have the ability to go elsewhere. You're just going to live an unhappy, unfulfilled life with someone that doesn't care about you until one of you dies or leaves. That's it.
