you're unbelievably pathetic

anyway just get asshole drunk or whatever and delete the fb convo

>>17355339
i know i'm pathetic, i'll also probably never make friends again.

asshole won't likely want to drink unless there's a party happening or something. i'll consider it though.

>>17355326
>i'm a beta pussy
Boy do you have that right.

>any flaws in my plan?

Yeah, this:
>ask to use his phone for a private call
>make an excuse to use his computer
It's not gonna work. Has he lent you these things before? If I were him I know I certainly wouldn't lend your fake ass my phone or computer, let alone both in the same night. Doesn't matter if you think he thinks you're legit: he's probably not that dumb and if he seems that way he could be playing the same game as you and not letting on that he knows you're a jerk.

Why not try talking to him about at least a little of this? If you tell him you're worried chad will find out about your shittalk and cause you physical harm, maybe he'll sympathize a little and you could ask him to delete it himself. You don't have to let on too much that you suspect him of fucking you over- you could just suggest you're worried he'll get "hacked" or some other nonsense. If you can be as pathetic with him as you were here just now it might be hard for him not to pity you.

And if chad really is a cool guy and really does think you're his best friend, maybe you can ease him into the idea that there was a time you didn't realize he was cool and you might have said some shit you now regret.

Be gentle and tactful with this, but get your act together and start learning how to communicate honestly with the people you associate with. You can still nip this thing in the bud but if you keep going with deception and cover ups it's gonna get even worse and shit will go down that's worse than chad seeing that convo and bite you in the ass.

>>17355346
>i'll probably never make friends again

These people aren't your friends now. Not with the way you treat them.

>>17355357
>Has he lent you these things before?
he's let me use his computer before for something else.
he doesn't have any suspicion of me so far so he'll let me use it, just need to get him out of the room.

there is no way to talk to asshole about this. if asshole gets a sniff that i want that convo deleted, he WILL blackmail me for it. i know asshole is a vindictive faggot, he already backstabbed me a few times like roasting me in front of a girl he knew i liked.

and chad used to be cool, but when i saw how he goes apeshit over the smallest things i'm more afraid of him than ever. the fact he thinks we're best friends only makes the situation worse should he figure out about the fb convo.

if any of them were rational and understanding people i would've talked to them already but clearly they're not.

>>17355381
Sounds like you got yourself in a real pickle, but like I said, it's just gonna get worse the way you're going. Do you really think deleting this conversation is going to stop the problem? There is always going to be something like this hanging over your head. Asshole will still find shit to potentially blackmail you with and you will still always worry Chad will beat your ass. Forget about that conversation, it's just something you've fixated on in a desperate attempt to feel like you have control through continued deception. Either salvage your friendship and put a little faith in these people as human beings or cut ties and move on.

>>17355363
holy shit
i'm terrified that i'll get back stabbed by some asshole (who has a track record on being a manipulative friend and person) that hates this chad and i happened to make friends with him, and my bones broken and my teeth kicked in from a guy who threw down a guy for bantering about his gaming skills and you're telling me i'm being the bad friend???

my mistake here is that i have terrible judgement in people because i was a shut-in neet for so long. all i want is to get out of this bull shit and go back to being shut in at home

>>17355425
You're the one who started a thread by saying you are pathetic and are now denying how pathetic you are because "but they did xyz." You can't decide that they are worse than you are and use that to justify your own wrongdoings. You need to hold yourself responsible for your actions. These are people you chose to be around, and when shit started getting heavy you chose to lie to them and make this mess for yourself. You can't just cry about how you didn't know better because you were inexperienced- you have to learn from the experiences you built and fix things the right way instead of running away from your problems and making things worse thinking you can go hide in a hole your whole life when you can't.

>>17355402
fuck i don't think you understand how fucked this situation is for me. i wouldn't go full heisenberg if i wasn't this desperate.

as long as the only standing evidence between asshole and me is gone, all asshole can do is, well, talk out his asshole... which is nothing new. chad might question me and i could tell him a half truth of how i used to be friends with asshole but found asshole to be an asshole, and now asshole is out for my blood because i ditched him for chad.

i can't even move away yet because i'm poor, but i was also going to find a job and get the fuck out of there and cut ties with both of them.

>>17355451
If you're not worried about saying that asshole is blowing smoke out his ass and lying about you, why don't you just get ready to claim he shooped the convo or that it was never you using your facebook account at that time in the first place? It's just screencaps, not hard evidence. Apparently among you people it is quite easy to get into one another's facebook accounts anyway.

>>17355448
what the fuck man, you're talking as if getting beaten to a pulp is a fucking normal thing

i didn't fucking know any of this was going to happen. if i knew chad was violent in the first place i wouldn't have spoken to him at all; in fact chad was the one who talked to me first when we met and all i did was just go along with it.

if this was a situation where both persons were rational adults, i wouldn't be this fucking terrified and devising these meticulous plans.

>>17355474
i said some pretty specific things in the convos that would be identifiable that it's me, but i doubt asshole would remember it to recite it articulately to chad without pulling it up first

all i know is that i can get into asshole's house and he will let me use his computer. i just need him out of the room for a few minutes.

if you were in my situation, unless you're a professional fighter and rich as fuck, you'd resort to the same fucking thing...

>>17355508
>i doubt asshole would remember it to recite it articulately to chad without pulling it up first
You think that but you don't know. Don't put your eggs in one basket here. Even if you pull this off don't count on it being all over. This one convo seems to be your security blanket and I think you should calm down and try to see a bigger picture. Panicking will lead to mistakes no matter what you decide to do.

>but I didn't KNOW there would be consequences for my actions
Well there are. Get ready for them.

If you are seriously worried about being assaulted, call the damn police. That is what they are there for.

I have watched tiny women face rape threats with more grace than you.

>>17355451
>i can't even move away yet because i'm poor, but i was also going to find a job and get the fuck out of there
Moving every time some small problem occurs.
Lel. Where are your parents? Siblings? Don't you have any kind of network out there? Don't you have any normal friends who are more like you?
This might be your problem, mate.

>>17355530
i can't fucking call the police for something i predict will happen; chad will have to get to me first before they write me off as paranoid or some shit. chad will talk to the police and act like nothing is wrong. and then i'll get a beating for a lifetime later for calling the police on him. women get away with this shit literally because they are women, i'll just get laughed at and called a paranoid pussy.

honestly as long as that convo is gone i'll be safe. i know asshole enough that he wouldn't be able to recall those specific details on his own.

>>17355549
>i can't fucking call the police for something i predict will happen

Actually, you can. They will write a note of it whether they believe you or not, and if you collect examples of chad exhibiting violent behavior and/or making threats, the police can use that to better prepare and protect you if/when things are looking bad. I don't know why you'd assume they fucking police would out you to a guy that you say your afraid will murder you, that makes no fucking sense. Why do you assume the police would treat you that way? Have you ever tried this shit? You don't hear about cases like this working out for men because in many instances idiots like you are too afraid to even take the first step and report shit. If he has really beaten people over trivial things before with such regularity then he already has a record. If he hasn't, then you are blowing shit out of proportion and need to calm the fuck down. If he's been getting away with this shit, it'll be harder for you down the road if you don't prepare now.

>>17355539
can we just please get some suggestions or advice to what i asked itt...

i thought about this long enough to know this is probably my safest bet

also no, i dont have any friends or network. i was a shut in before i met these guys. i have my mom but what does that have to do with anything?

all she does is give me shit about how i should be more like chad and asks me to bring him over

>>17355574
>can we just please get some suggestions or advice to what i asked itt...
>i thought about this long enough to know this is probably my safest bet

The thing is, people usually come to /adv/ to get outside perspectives from people that aren't themselves to better understand a situation with less bias rather than looking for pats on the back and total agreement. There is no way to improve your plan because your plan is stupid from the start. But if there's no convincing you otherwise then doing it the way you've got is better than making it more convoluted. Sounds like you came here for reassurance more than advice and that may be the closest you'll get.

>>17355566
so i'm supposed to have the police guard me for who knows how long until chad finds out about asshole's convo with me and decides to chimp out on me? or am i supposed to somehow get chad arrested for something he didn't even think of yet?

>>17355580
>Sounds like you came here for reassurance more than advice and that may be the closest you'll get.

literally in my op i said
>any other suggestions or possible flaws in my plan??

i didn't ask for other advice, i know it's an /adv/ board but where else am i supposed to put this shit? i just wanted to know any suggestions to get asshole out the room for a few minutes.

this isn't some normie thread where i'm whining about no gf, i just want something that will get me beaten up or blackmailed gone as subtly as i can, and the people itt are treating it like it's as easy as "beeing urself XD" like fuck man

>>17355596
>so i'm supposed to have the police guard me when chad finds decides to chimp out on me?
Yes.
>or am i supposed to somehow get chad arrested for something he didn't even think of yet?
You get him arrested when he goes to commit a crime. From what you said he already has. He may be being monitored already.

>where else am i supposed to put this shit?
Maybe talk to that mom you mentioned. She probably should know chad isn't such a great guy so that she won't get hurt or something either.

Nobody said this shit was easy.

lol OP you are dumb, you are really dumb, for real.

>>17355614
>Yes.
yeah the problem is he'll at least get a good swing at me before the police can run in and tackle him or whatever.

>Maybe talk to that mom you mentioned. She probably should know chad isn't such a great guy so that she won't get hurt or something either.

chad won't hurt a girl let alone my mom. dude acts like the perfect gentleman which is why my mom loves him so much and gives me so much shit about it.

she'll just think i'm being crazy and write me off and give me more shit. literally, until i come back with a broken nose, she won't believe shit. i remember getting physically bullied in highschool and my mom still thought it was my fault and gave me shit about it.

You don't like either of these people. As a fellow beta fag, I might just completely stop being around both of them

I'm done. You're not here for advice, you're here to make excuses until somebody tells you what you want to here. Well here it is:

>Yeah, bro, sick plan! Ask that asshole to go in the other room and do something a little complicated like make you homemade flapjacks and brew coffee: that won't be suspicious at all and should give you plenty of time to hack into his stuff. This whole thing will disappear just as soon as you delete that convo. I'm sure asshole and chad won't ever try shit or get suspicious of you again when you eventually stop talking to them and skip town like a criminal on the lam. Then you can sit in your room all day away from the rest of humanity and be safe and happy forever and ever the end.

>>17355666
I give this a thumbs up

File: goddessofspring05.jpg (14 KB, 400x300) Image search: [Google]

14 KB, 400x300

>>17355666
>666
You can trust Satan.

>>17355648
that's the plan

>>17355666
>mfw satan trips confirm i dodged bad advice

my plan is a lot more inconspicuous than calling the fucking police like jesus fuck man

>>17355596
>i just want something that will get me beaten up
That's the problem coward. Maybe it's for your own best to take some long and hard beating.
Man the fuck up. If you aren't afraid of anything your life will be much easier. Also you're less likely to be a shallow unlikable fucking cunt, like you are just right now.

>>17355326
I think that all depends on what you think of Chad. If you really think he's an okay guy, why not tell him that? Like, "You know, I judged you before I got to know you, and you're actually a cool dude, etc". It sounds like the other guy isn't much of a friend, and you're not being much of one either. People you don't like typically aren't worth wasting your time on.

>>17355637
>i remember getting physically bullied in highschool and my mom still thought it was my fault and gave me shit about it.
Maybe it'll help to know that you have a shit mom. Now still man the fuck up, and stop being afraid your whole life of things that might or might not happen.