crisis
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
hey /adv/ tell me what you think. I'm gonna b upfront and say that i contemplate suicide. for a while, the idea of suicide has sat in the back of my mind, only showing up when i feel depressed (i used to go to therapy but stopped because i felt like i didnt need it anymore). Everyone says suicide is never an option, i disagree. Some people never see the light. I myself tried to be happy, for a while i thought that i was, but again, suicide and depression always linger. Is suicide an option? I feel like an asshole all the time. i'll try to talk to my parents about how i feel and theyll say something like "walk it off". ok. I have a lot of shit going for me, im a great musician with a great circle of friends and an amazing gf. but i cant ever tell them how i feel. For the fear theyll tell someone and ill wind up in a nuthouse. Is it bad i think about suicide more than i should? Im sorry if none of this makes sense i'm just venting and talking about how i currently feel. I think about everyone id be leaving behind and it hurts my heart. I would never forgive myself but sometimes i think it's for my own good and for everyone elses if i left for good. I don't feel loved. Parts of me know countless amounts of people have it incredibly worse, I mean for gods sake im typing this off myowncomputer. I'm fortunate for what i have and i know itd be selfish if i died. But i'm mentally suffering and im probably just a selfish teenage pussy, but i think about suicide to a point where it makes me think i'm not just being a teenager (i'm almost 18). I don't know what to do. I'm just never happy. therapy helped but i'm sure i was just lying to myself the whole time. Just thinking about my funeral and who i'd be leaving behind makes me wanna cry. i love everyone but i just don't feel loved back. Am i selfish? I don't know. I've lost a lot of friends to suicide (2 in the past yr) and sometimes i look at their pictures and wonder if theyre happier now. Would i be happy if i joined them?
>>17355002
I can't really say whether or not you'll be happier. I do think that you should try therapy first though. Sounds like you're just depressed unless you're unable to care for yourself you don't have anything to worry about.
Hey. I'm going through something similar, and I've lost someone to suicide too. I didn't even know how he was feeling until he died. With that, I'd say you should tell someone. Even just one person that you really, really trust. Just tell someone you need to get something off your chest, clarify that you don't have any plans to kill yourself in the immediate future (since you're worried about them calling a nuthouse), and then vent. Tell them how you feel. Why? You said that you don't feel loved, so maybe this will give them a chance to show you how much they actually love you.
I've yet to do this as well, so I know it's easier said than done. But once you get through that, it'll probably make things less painful if you aren't carrying the weight of these feelings by yourself.
Oh, and I just had a thought. Sometimes I worry if it would be a burden on others if I did tell them I was suicidal - it's not. I wish I knew what my classmate was going through before he killed himself. I would have wanted to be there for him.
Sorry, I'm kind of rambling. I do hope things get better for you though, OP. Actually, I know it's not my place to say, but I think things will get better. You just have to really reach out and try to ask someone for help, don't go through this alone. I really regret not getting therapy while I was in high school.
Please hang on a little longer OP - try to make changes with how your dealing with this before commuting suicide. Give yourself another chance at life.
the problem with seeking happiness is that moods are impermanent and even a great high eventually settles down again and then you're left with something to compare your ordinary mind with unfavorably.
life is not pure nonstop 24/7 bliss for anyone on earth.
suicide is only a solve-everything solution if you believe in the premise of materialism that the mind is just a function of the brain which dies at death. and even if that's true, why not just live out your natural lifespan before the inevitable annihilation? why rush it? on the other hand, if materialism is not true, suicide can be seen as very risky. not only does it leave a negative impact in the world and in your family but it effects your destination, where you end up after this body dies. can you take the risk? i assume that you assume suicide=death=annihilation and is therefore a solve-all to your problems, but try thinking from a different perspective. what if suicide would actually set you back and you'd have to go through all the same types of horrible experiences all over again because you let them get to you this time?
