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I'm 20 now. I haven't had any ambitions my whole life.
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Anonymous
2016-07-13 21:01:02 Post No. 17353944
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Anonymous 2016-07-13 21:01:02 Post No. 17353944 [Report]
I'm 20 now. I haven't had any ambitions my whole life. When I was a kid my mom always put me somewhere YMCA, music classes, martial arts but as much as I maybe enjoyed some of these at the beginning I quickly lost interests and at the end I ended up with nothing.

I never knew what to do with my life. I went to business high school just because I knew that it's gonna be easy to get through and I'm gonna go to college anyway (there are two types of schools where I live after which you can go to college, this is the easier one).

I never did really good at school, not because I was stupid but because I've never really seen a point of getting good marks when you're gonna get through anyway. Because of this my mom took me to several kid psychologists to find out what's wrong with me, all of them told me and her that I'm more intelligent than the average and hearing that only made me screw everything even more.

Now I'm at college, just as I planned but lately I've been starting to realise that this is the last checkpoint. After this I'm gonna be free and I don't know if I will handle all this world. As I said I never knew what I'll be doing in the future and this starts to scare the shit out of me. I never wanted to be a millionaire, I never wanted expensive shit, big houses, cars or models. All I'm gonna ever need is a job that will cover expenses for food, rent and my addictions. But I don't know if I'll be happy.

Always been a realist and now I see it like I'm gonna just kill myself in my late twenties. Seriously I don't know a person who is more lost in this world than me, it's kind of embarassing but it's a really big question that is hovering over life of every one of us.
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Anonymous 2016-07-13 21:07:16 Post No.17353961
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Anonymous 2016-07-13 21:07:16 Post No.17353961 [Report]
>>17353944
Yeah, I fucked around a lot in school. In college now, but it doesn't motivate me enough. Parents tried pushing me into all kinds of hobbies, didn't take. I'm fine with being a receptionist the rest of my life. After I finish college, that'll be it for me.

But then I got a boyfriend. At first, it was just a nice passing thing, didn't care much. But now he sprung on me that he's moving to Philly and wants me to move in with him - that I don't even have to help pay the rent and he'll take care of me and all that shit. Obviously I won't allow that, because I can take care of my own damn self. But man did those words move something in my lazy, dead heart. Maybe I'm trying harder now because I finally have something to work towards.
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Anonymous 2016-07-13 21:10:47 Post No.17353972
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Anonymous 2016-07-13 21:10:47 Post No.17353972 [Report]
I feel out of place, lost, unable to fit in with other people, but reading something that wrote somebody who feels like me give a little break. I don't think that i'm more intelligent than anybody but i see things, moments and situations in a very different approach, maybe we see the world as really is and that make us feel tired and disappointed, but i think that those who can see the truth can make a change, doesn't matter if is a little one, it's still a change. Don't give OP, life is hard but we can get harder.
Ps. Good music and great people make it less shitier.
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Anonymous 2016-07-13 21:31:06 Post No.17354055
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Anonymous 2016-07-13 21:31:06 Post No.17354055 [Report]
>>17353972
I'm not gonna lie to myself about being lazy. I know I'm lazy but it's hard not to be lazy while you're not seeing point in anything you are doing.

Currently I'm at my happiest phase of my life, I met a girl who makes me happy and with which I spent most of my time, never really met anyone I'd get along better, we would be the best couple but fuck me, she is lesbian. But she's like a sister to me, it's great.
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Anonymous 2016-07-13 22:36:27 Post No.17354233
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Anonymous 2016-07-13 22:36:27 Post No.17354233 [Report]
>>17353961
Are you a girl or a gay?
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Anonymous 2016-07-14 01:44:45 Post No.17354841
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Anonymous 2016-07-14 01:44:45 Post No.17354841 [Report]
Nobody knows.
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