>apply for a good job in a new city, with the plan to move

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Anonymous
2016-07-13 18:11:22 Post No. 17353548
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Anonymous 2016-07-13 18:11:22 Post No. 17353548 [Report]

>apply for a good job in a new city, with the plan to move in with my partner
>end up getting said job, complete surprise
>need to leave my current job which I enjoy but this is a good thing because I need a challenge
>due to move over in just over a week
>suddenly hit with the highest level of anxiety I have ever experienced in my life

I can move to a new area, I can start a new job but I absolutely cannot shake off relationship concerns.

Backstory, we've known each other several years and are extremely close. We're not your conventional couple but we work extremely well together, we're best friends, extremely open and the sex is great. I think they're simply wonderful, warts and all, and I've never been as happy with another persons company in my entire life. I miss them terribly whenever we're apart.

I just have these nagging concerns about things that never bothered me before. What if we move in together and things go stale? What if it's all just in our heads and everything breaks down? What if all the trust I have for them is based purely on how much I want to be with them and secretly, they're a massive cunt and end up fucking me over?

I know I can't rule any of the above out and its good to be cautious but it's ruining what should be an amazing experience for us both. I want to go into it absolutely buzzing with excitement and take advantage of this amazing opportunity.

I can't keep speaking to them about it because it's unnecessary pressure and there is only so much they can reassure me before the words seem empty.

How can I manage such a huge life change and approach it in the most positive way? I don't want to ruin what could be the best move of my life.

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Anonymous 2016-07-13 18:42:18 Post No.17353615
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Anonymous 2016-07-13 18:42:18 Post No.17353615 [Report]

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>>17353548
Fake it.

This is the best advice I was ever given. If you fake it hard enough eventually your brain gives up and you actually will be extremely positive. This works in most aspects of life. If it's tearing you apart inside you just have to learn to deal with it, as dismissive as that sounds. Faking it will actively retrain your brain to look at these things with a positive outlook.

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Anonymous 2016-07-13 18:45:48 Post No.17353630
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Anonymous 2016-07-13 18:45:48 Post No.17353630 [Report]

>>17353615

Thank you for your response.

I'm very good at the whole faking it thing because I am a born worrier and it helps me get past it. However, it's more of a long term solution than something I can use in the short term. As I said, I don't have long until the move happens and it's really important to me that I approach it as positively as possible.

I'm not sure what advice I'm looking for really. I just want to make sure I don't ruin something amazing just because my stupid brain is trying to prepare me for all eventualities.

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Anonymous 2016-07-13 18:49:25 Post No.17353643
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Anonymous 2016-07-13 18:49:25 Post No.17353643 [Report]

>>17353630
Find time to meditate if you can. That can help a great deal in the short term.

Find a hobby that gives you time to just focus on something else. The stress a good hobby can relieve is immeasurable.

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Anonymous 2016-07-13 18:51:28 Post No.17353651
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Anonymous 2016-07-13 18:51:28 Post No.17353651 [Report]

>>17353643
Exercising is a good way to meditate too.

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Anonymous 2016-07-13 19:49:50 Post No.17353792
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Anonymous 2016-07-13 19:49:50 Post No.17353792 [Report]

>>17353651

I already go to the gym pretty much every day and play sports. I have a very taxing job at the moment and a lot of friends who I can go to if I need them. That is amazing advice you're giving but that is kinda my existing lifestyle and it's still killing me.

I guess what I'm looking for is some kind of confirmation that it's ok for me to feel this way and it's a natural way to feel faced with this kind of pressure? I'm usually so good at this kinda stuff.