Semi-continuation of the thread I had a few days ago. to sum up the previous thread:
>going through a rough patch.
>instead of helping, my friend (lets call him Adam) ends up doing a dick move making things worse, which made me personally feel betrayed and made me explode in rage on him.
>However, He didnt know I was in a rough patch, and I my reaction may have been exaggerated given that fact.
now for the issue at hand, After cooling off, I apologized for my reaction and explained that I am going through some hard time. Adam apologized for his actions aswell.
Now the problem is, I am still angry at Adam and I cant just forgive him that easily. I told him that and said that maybe in time we could go back to usual.
haven't heard from Adam until yesterday, when he told me that I cant judge him over one mistake and a background situation he didnt know about and that its my own fault for never telling about it.
This morning, a mutual friend (lets call him Ben) says that he talked with Adam, he knows the details and basically told me the same thing as Adam and that we should move on.
I need an unbiased opinion here, is it really that wrong of me to be still be angry at Adam? simply because he said "I'm sorry"? how come I am the bad guy here?
>>17352904
I think you being purposely vague is the worst part.
>>17352933
Vague how?
>>17352904
Are you going to let 2 other people dictate how you feel?
This Adam character is trying to blame YOU for something that HE did. Who gives a shit about what this Ben motherfucker is saying.
You're mad and you have every right to continue to be mad until something changes.
You have two options:
>Drop these assholes and find better friends
>Continue hanging out in this toxic friendship, but remember that this Adam guy doesn't give a shit about you.
Learn from your mistake about trusting Adam.
>>17352938
What dick move? What rough patch?
>>instead of helping
>>However, He didnt know
Seriously? You want him to read your mind?
And then after he appologized for being a dick you are still mad at him?
Do you even know if he is not going through shit? He may have things to deal with that are more important than some crazy chick that doesn't know how to move on and expects people to read minds.
>>17352904
The main thing you need to consider is your relationship with him and his relationship with you. How close do you consider him to be? And how close does he consider you to be?
To me, it seems like you consider him to be a close friend while he considers you as simply an acquaintance, but I might be wrong. What is it?
>>17353011
>What rough patch?
family issues I dont wish to discuss.
>What dick move?
well, we've already discussed it at the previous thread so I figured there's no point bringing it back and rehashing it. but since you asked, I called him several times to go out, to try and get my mind off things. he kept saying he's busy. then he invited me out to a bar, started texting someone and then that someone came to the bar too and he ditched me.
>Seriously? You want him to read your mind?
no, but even if things were fine its a dick move none the less. you dont invite someone out to ditch him less than half an hour in.
>And then after he appologized for being a dick you are still mad at him?
Saying "I'm sorry" isn't some magical chant that turns back time. I considered him a friend, I expect friends to atleast not make things worse. I trusted him he betrayed that trust.
>Do you even know if he is not going through shit?
Lets assume its true. how dies it excuse his action? he called me out.
>He may have things to deal with that are more important than some crazy chick that doesn't know how to move on and expects people to read minds.
I'm a guy. we are both straight guys.
>>17353046
I dont know really, we were really close but over the last year between work and uni we have drifted apart somewhat.
>>17353066
Link to the previous thread then? Info is always nice.
>>17353066
Your personal problems have literally nothing to do with this since he had no fucking idea about them. Don't even think about them when judging this situation.
So you didn't believe he was truly sorry and is still mad at him, you say that to him and expects him to be ok with it?
If he is not sorry he'll put the blame on you and if he is sorry he'll feel offended because you don't trust him.
It doesn't excuse him but you are fine judging him for making things worse for something he did not know, so he may as well judge you for something you don't know.
I agree with the other friend. You were treated unfairly but you also treated him unfairly, move on.
This whole thing is like a mirror situation.
>>17353099
>So you didn't believe he was truly sorry and is still mad at him, you say that to him and expects him to be ok with it?
maybe he was, I dont know. What I do know is that I am angry and his saying saying I'm sorry isn't going to make that anger go away.
What I dont like is that fact that he's trying to turn it around on me. He doesn't have to accept my apology - he can be mad at how I blew up on him its his prerogative but for him to tell me how I should feel? that my feelings aren't justified? that's not his place to say. What I expect him to do is either let time sort things out or just accept the fact that the situation changed.
And I really dont like him going to our mutual friend and having him pick sides. dont go around involving other people in our issue. especially when he knows that I hate it when people forcefully push themselves into my personal matters.
>if he is sorry he'll feel offended because you don't trust him.
And again, I am suppose to trust him just like that? as I keep repeating: I'm sorry does not turn time back.
>>17353149
Like i said this is a mirror situation.
2 egoistic friends hurt eachothers apolozige, don't accept the apologies and are still mad at eachother.
Your feelings aren't justified because you are taking your personal shit in consideration when weighting things.
No you are suposed to let him suck your cock to know if he is truly sorry.
