6 months ago while travelling around the globe I met a girl that was quite special and what started out as harmless fun has developed into something serious which has been both very good and quite sad. But more than that, it has made me reflect on the way I live my life as a whole and I'm starting to think I really need to change my mind set entirely and that's where I need your advice.
So basically I met a local girl while I was travelling, we had a great time and I kept seeing her again and again and I was satisfied just being there with her that I completely put my travels on hold and bummed around for many, many months in a place that I knew wasn't good for me with a girl I knew I could never make a serious relationship work with. Now I've had to move on due to work, and I'm thinking about what happened and feel terrible about having wasted my time and gotten so far of track even though I had a great time and was very happy during that period of time.
However, I realize that I have a strong tendency to just go with the flow, whenever I meet someone I like or have a good bunch of people to hang out with then I completely put my plans and goals aside to desperately cling on to that connection and make it last as long as I can. Eventually, they move on with their lives and doing what they want to do while I'm left behind moaning about the good time that has come to an end. I think this is a pretty pathetic approach to life on my side and I really need to start taking charge of my life, go my way and pursue my goals. That seems like a confident, strong mentality.
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Op cont.:
This then led me to realize that the issue probably lies in the fact that I don't really have any goals to pursue or a plan for my life to go on with. I'm just floating about like a flag in the wind going with whatever makes me happy for the moment because I simply don't know what to do with myself, what I really want and how to get it.
And then that further led me to realize that the real problem is my depressing, nihilistic perception of life that nothing I do really matters, it's all just pointless and worthless and we all just die anyway. I just don't care much about anything. Not enough to put any effort into it or try to change anything about it. Might as well just get the most fun out of it while it lasts. And that's just what I do, I've done just enough to get through school, got bored of everything back home, didn't want to go the average joe's career path so I fucked off to travel. And I don't even think I enjoy travelling much, I just want to get away from friends and relatives judging me for doing fuck all with my life. Also, these days I really don't like being alone anymore. I don't care much about what I do or don't do but I really just want to do it together with someone. Makes everything so much more fun. But that's a stupid mindset because I can't depend on others for my own happiness.
I don't really know where I'm going with this. That's just my thought process and I'm working on a way of fixing my life, find some sort of motivation and grow a pair and go on my path. Any thoughts or advice on any of my rambling is highly appreciated.
>>17352761
Get comfortable with solitude because its you at the start and end of each day you answer to.
That is step 1.
Best! SLAINCHE SALUD PROSIT
>>17352763
Man this is what everyone should achieve. Stop thinking in the society patterns, just have fun and fuck up your life all you want. I live exactly like you and I would never choose a life full of lies and things I believe I want. Don't get taken down, you're living the dream life
>>17353480
yeah....the dream...
