I think I may end up falling for a girl I met on /soc/.


I hope I don't though....

>>17344395
Good fucking luck

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I'm so god damn lonely.
On some level, I wish that I didn't delete the contact info of the girl that I had spent time with this spring, but at the same time, the fact that she started ignoring me out of the blue, and utterly stopped responding to messages, hurt me so damn much. Seeing her contact info, just kept reminding me of her.
I liked her, and she told me that I was her friend. I still don't understand why she eventually acted the way she did, and I probably never will understand.

Loneliness is something I have endured all my life. It just used to be that I didn't know how it felt to have friends, or people who you thought to genuinely enjoy your company, in your life.
That knowledge makes the pain even worse.

I wish that there was a way to kill off the parts of your brain that make you long for human companionship. Why must one endure this bullshit? It is driving me insane.

>>17344447
Yea... Thanks, I'll need it

She's exactly my type physically, but lives half way across the world, so I am kinda forcing my self to not fall for her.

I am a disappointment to my family and want to kill myself

>>17344386
the fear of not finding a new job is pulling me down

i worked in IT but it´s not what i wanna do all my life so i wanted a career change and quit my job taking off a few months
hopefully i find a new job i love more than my old one in the next weeks

I feel like I've wasted so many chances in life due to problems I'm trying to fix for ages it's so damn depressing, it's health related and affects my social life very heavily, I hide it but ultimately I can't be who I want to be, cant get a gf, even if I do, it breaks apart and I am probably seen as a total douche and idiot, fuck, why do I get these obstacles while others get off free?

I want to be able to have full meaningful conversations with human beings but I just have no damn interest in them??

Heroin is just... indescribable.

I know I am not a special, little, snowflake, that will somehow avoid addiction. Hell, I have lost everything, and been to rehab; that said, I have reclaimed my life, and know the risks. As such, I can properly prepare, and from a knowledgeable, positive position.

Now, I indulge every two to three weeks, and enjoy a few absolutely divine shots on said days.

If you are feeling suicidal, I highly recommend trying H, intravenously, beforehand.

I just wanna say this but I might be getting a black roommate next fall semester. Not that I have anything against black people, but I can't make racy jokes anymore

>inb4 "well if you make racist jokes you must be a racist"

I can't meet girls IRL, girls IRL don't take interest in me so my only option has been to risk trying to meet people long distance usually across the world with a high chance of hurt. I'm a hopeless romantic, never had gf, never kissed.

Currently talking to a girl all the way across the damn planet and all thoughts are going through my head whether this is worth it or not, I told myself I would get myself involved long distance and i just keep being an idiot and forgetting that.

I've come to the point where I've become desperate, quite a few of my female friends/acquaintances are attractive to me and I become jealous and upset upon hearing they have a boyfriend, making me respond to them pettily and act like a dick e.g. giving dead responses, not talking enthusiastically even though deep down i want to. I'm tired of being alone, no true friends, most friends are online not offline. This feeling is unshakeable, something is always missing, I'm always alone.

>>17344597
Hide yo money, hide yo keys

>>17344597
fuck those race-traitor nigger-lovers, bro

we are not racist, we just enjoy a good guffaw

>>17344608

Actually, I never got that "ghetto" impression from her. She's a geek, loves playing her Wii U and Pokemon Go, she seems like a really nice girl.

>>17344614

Nah, my jokes aren't harsh like that. Just really dumb. My friend and I will see a normal black person walk past us and he'll turn to me saying "Oh man, I was so scared just now."

Or we'll make a dumb stereotypical joke like "Before we go to KFC, let's make sure we're carrying less than $20 on us" or something.

>>17344626
after the assassination of 5 white police officers, human beings that benefit our world, which was preceded by a declaration of war against the white race, a few jokes are harmless

have you thought about other housing arrangements?

>>17344626
Don't respond to a blatant troll.

>>17344654

Oh I didn't know he was one.

He's so gorgeous
I'd like to put my dick inside him
too bad I can't
this sucks
but maybe I *need* to obsess over something

TSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

I never talked to her and she's a 4/10 at best.
Why the fuck am i starting to like her?
Whats going on?

>>17344593
>If you are feeling suicidal, I highly recommend trying H, intravenously, beforehand.

I think suicide is preferable.

>>17344448
>>17344607
I don't know how old you guys but it doesn't seem to get any better. 27 here.

>>17344699
I'm 23.
Some days, I wonder why I even bother anymore. 60 or maybe even more years of this lonely, pointless existence, seems far too much to bear.

>>17344704
I'm giving myself 3 more years til 30, before I jump off a bridge, mostly cos I wanna pay off some debts. It's bad to leave debts when you die.

I fucking look like an abused housewife. I have bruises on my face and my neck.

Dating someone clumsy is a fucking pain.

>>17344386
I have trouble to sleep becaus my legs hurt because of a car accident
I don't feel like i have made progress since the start of my reeducation 2 month ago
I can't do much activities outside
The parties i do at my place became shitty and i don't know why
Just less and less people come
I talk less and less with my friends because they don't have as much freetime as me
I afaraid to try dating someone because of my legs

>>17344593
yeah....withdrawals will make them more suicidal. and don't say subs/benzos.

Coming here and venting, and simply even being in these threads/seeing them or seeing this board is starting to stress me. I guess I would take that as a hint to actually act upon my problems but that's just it. I am, and they're not getting better.

What are we?

I'm having the hardest time in my life so far.
I'm living alone for the first time...since january
My gf (ex at the moment) became overly religious, no sex etc.
We broke up, and I still sufering because we kept contact and almost had sex after the broke up
I cant study...and I need to study alot cuz Im only living alone to study and pass an Army Academy test.

Im hate everything...even my friends, and I miss so much my ex...god damnit!

>>17344740
Dancers.

Dancers with fucked up legs.

>>17344696
Hahaha good luck bro. I've been there too, but my problem is that she didn't loved her body...and I did...If the girl ins't confident you need to move on, ugly girls are fucked up

>>17344751
Funnily enough, she actually is a dancer. Part of the problem in this situation

Fuck all of you

Beer, ramen, the simpsons, i've been falling for you since i met you
>what was that last thing?
the simpsons

Is it really a problem if I like to get utterly wasted all weekend? My bf says I drink too much, but I only really drink on weekends... yeah, I go through a bottle of wine or two and a fifth of harder liquor on weekends, but it's just weekends. Is it really a problem?

It just feels good and allows me to relax and enjoy the weekend to its fullest. I could do without, but I love the way it feels, and it does make things like video games and movies even more enjoyable.

>>17344893
No. I do the same. I work a full-time job and I admit I have a beer or two after work each day or so, but on the weekend? That's my time to unwind and relax, and I like to get shitfaced. And then I come right back Monday with a nice sober and hungover smile.
Having myself a nice brew right now and watching the pick of destiny before i go to work in a few hours. Overnight shift yo

I've gotten so many negative responses on what I've written recently that I think maybe I'm the asshole and haven't been realizing it.

i'm sad and want to cry

I think I was more happy alone. You make me want to run away into blissful silence and peace by myself. I'm so sick of being treated so bad because someone else pissed you off. One day while you're busy yelling at some trivial thing someone else will be making me smile. You're going to end up like scrooge. And I will be gone.

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>23
>Making pretty good money 71k
>Still living at parents house since apartments around LA are expensive
>never had a gf
>money doesn't make me happy

Don't really know what to do with my life really. All its been these last couple months have been work, anime, vidya, sleep and repeat.

>>17344699
Yes, suicide is preferable to experimentation; experimentation that may allow one to experience happiness before they close their eyes forever.

>>17344730
Addiction does not start with first use, friend, and considering the suicide, and all, I doubt this will become an issue.

And why should one not consider Sub, both -tex and -xone? They both serve that purpose, and the -pam line is also used for the exact reason you decry.

I will suggest Methadone, as well, as another withdrawal alternative.

I want to do anything but I can't stop thinking about her. God I wish I was with her. I have no idea what I want to do without her.

>>17344654
nigger, or nigger-lover, detected

do not talk to me or Ray Jr ever again

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Someone offered me weed today!
I would never touch that shit with a 10 foot pole, but it's just the fact that it happened. It's one of those things that supposedly happens to everyone in high school but never happened to me.

I wonder if losing my virginity will feel this triumphant!

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****** PSA *****
If any guys or girls need a wise, anonymous listener to go over your problems with on a one on one basis,
You can add me on KiK

>My kik is: Wearbear99

State your Age, Gender, and what Problem(s) you're having and i will get to them as soon as i see it.

>>17344978
If you have a lot of money why don't you go traveling?

>>17345042
haven't accrued enough vacation days yet. just started working last two month

Where the fuck are you, Blitzen

I have the house to myself for a week, and as much as i enjoy having the freedom i'm also somewhat sad. I want to be in a relationship again

I might just kill myself tonight.

I'm scared as fuck that I'll end up brain dead. I'll be thinking of you guys since 4chan was the only thing I ever related to.

I really love you all, and I'll see you on the other side.

I'm just such a disgusting human being and a waste of space. I don't know why it took me this long to really want to do it.

>>17345123
I'm sorry you feel that way, anon. But as your friend, I respect your decision. I love you too. I hope I'll get to see you again.

>>17345026
Being drug-free is a rarity these days, seems like everyone is on something.

>>17345123
>love you all

You really shouldn't. Most of us are just faceless jerks.

i still wish i would die someday, probably soon, but i dont think about it, i just want it to happen but at the same time i never think about it, and im not deppressed at all

>>17345041
>being this narcissistic and deluded
>wants 'one-on-one'
>needs dat A/S/L yo
>is probably underage b&
>isn't doing this soley for m'lady

>>17344386
Please for the love of shit please let my dick start working like I want it to. Me and my girlfriend are at our wit's end. I'll be hard and then go soft EVERY time I try and enter her. We have fun, I get her off, but fuck it's the most humiliating thing in the world. I love her. I love her more than life itself, and one day her patience is gonna give out. If I lose her because of my fucking piece of shit dick, I'll kill myself.

>>17345171
I would recommend consulting these sources.
http://therochesterinsomniac.com/2014/04/07/you-should-never-ever-do-this-but-if-your-going-to-heres-how-killing-yourself/
http://lostallhope.com/suicide-methods
https://www.reddit.com/r/morbidquestions/comments/337ve7/what_is_the_least_painful_way_to_commit_suicide/
But make sure everything is in order with your suicide note and will. And think it over hard if you haven't, you may end up regretting it.

>>17345203
Your dick is telling you something about you, this girl, and/or the relationship, that you cannot admit to yourself.

I hate how my feet are so long and I can't wear the shoes I want.
Clothes are my passion.
Why live.

>>17345235
I can't for the life of me think about what it is. She and I get along perfectly, we connect, there's not a single thing I'd change about her. I'm improving myself. My self-esteem definitely needs work, but in those moments I feel pretty good. Our relationship is great too. This is the happiest I've been in my whole life. It's literally just that my dick. WON'T. WORK!

>>17345186
>projecting this hard
Most of whom i help are younger dudes.
It helps to know what gender they identify to better talk to them.
Age helps me percieve self image.

>>17344978
On your boat, 2 years older.
I just want to Fuck like an animal and drink water in between fucks

>>17344459
don't fucking do it, it's not gonna work out. You're gonna feel like you're married and unless you're Rich Kids of Instagram level wealthy you won't see her regularly.

source: same situation, different website

To the anon who said I should be a bad ass sports anchor who knows her shit: thank you. That's an idea I'm kicking around. I do play in a league, not lingerie because fuck that, fucking fuck that so hard, and I'm learning so much and it's exhilarating.

Someday, maybe I can coach an NFL team. Maybe even head coach. People like you who believe in people like me will get me there. So thank you, again.

>>17345348
Yep. that's why I'm gonna force myself not to fall for her. But who knows if I will be successful.

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I'm attracted to any woman who is kind and affectionate towards me because of my bad relationship with my mother. It's like I'm subconsciously looking for a replacement mother instead of a girlfriend.

I'm tired of a lot of things right now but the top of the list currently is all these fucking bugs in my apartment because my screens are all broken or missing. I love this building and this neighborhood but for fucks sake. This is too much

>>17345360
don't try to "stay in touch" with her either, just end contact. I know it sucks but you're just saving yourself time.

>>17345393
I only just started talking to her within a couple days, so I don't wanna do that yet. But I can tell that I may fall for her. At least she'll get my mind off the girl locally that I was basically rejected by.

>>17345411
Wait, so you've only known her a few days?

I miss you a lot. There is not a day where I dont think about you.

I still love you so much.

>>17345391
Woke up because a roach crawled on my face. I can't deal with this shit any longer.

>>17345416
Yes. But I usually can tell when I will fall for someone several months in advance. Happened twice, and both times I was right.

I've finally burnt myself out. I'm so unhappy with my life and how it's unfolding. I don't want to be alive.

>>17345431
It's only gonna get harder as time goes on. In a month's time you'll probably be way more attached than you are now.

>>17345445
Possibly. But I just can't cut someone off. It's just not in my nature.

>>17345463
Dude, I just got cut off.
From the looks and feel of it, it seems pretty easy

you mean everything to me, but i never should have let myself fall for you as hard as i did. i thought we'd end up together but i was foolish and i got myself in way to deep. i don't ever want to someone else like that. i don't want to get hurt, i don't want to be vulnerable.i don't want to keep doing this to myself. i'm afraid i'm never going to open up to someone again like i did with you. i sound so pathetic. you deserve better then me. you deserve someone that will make you happy.

Grilled. Fucking. shrimp. Nigga.

Fucking.

Shrimp.

Nigga.

>>17345478
Seems that way. But I cant even cut contact with the girl that rejected me. Every time I get close, I always end up messaging her.

It just doesn't happen with me. Never has, and probably never will

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>>17345463
This is obviously an exceptional situation, whatever you're like as a person

just do it ASAP, you'll thank me later

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I have not been outside in almost a year. I work from home and have my groceries delivered. I don't interact with other people. It feels horrible.

>>17345488
Sometimes I think 4chan is the nexus in which I communicate with our self. Like the dimension of Rick?
I get ignored by the girl I want to make Fuck with because I come off as needy.
>PLEASE! Hold my hand through this thing called life!
>I can't look you in the eyes but I can somehow father our baby and protect it from the saber tooths and mammoths.
>I'm a aware you ignore me and need attention but I still care about you because I love issues in a girl as much as I like offending them with propositions and a touch of concern.

They're probably better off without us.
We need to figure out how to make renewable energy and work on that album man.

I hope we all find whatever we need to get through life without feeling depressed and helpless each day.

I know I need it right now.

i'm wading back into Real Depression except it's different this time and worse than anything i can remember and it's aggravated by my worsening anxiety and i'm actually getting help this time but i don't even know if the person i'll be seeing will believe me because i've dealt with this for so long it's normal for me and i barely know how to describe it because it's just how i am. what's normal? i don't know. i know i shouldn't want to kill myself all the time. am i even allowed to tell them that or will they lock me up? i don't have time for that girl interrupted shit. i got shit to do. but i just want to become a marble statue

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I wish I would've just told you about how I felt about you the last time I saw you in person. You asked me for a hug, held me in your arms and I should have told you then and there... But I didn't because I was dumb and decided to wait. Even though we've been texting and stuff, I want to see you in person. No way would I want to confess over text, and plus, I miss your face and warm hugs. Now I'm scared that I won't see you again for a long time since you've been busy and I'm worried that time will destroy the sparks we had going. I hate myself for letting guys slip away stupidly.

>>17345585
it'll be okay! if he's truly got feelings for you they won't fade over a short period of time. i've been in a similar situation

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I order Domino's whenever I seriously consider committing suicide. I order it at least once or twice a week.

My friends have been ridiculing me for not pursuing our friend. she likes me and wants sex while I couldn't care less because I'm going to kms

I'm trying to make our last few weeks together pleasant but they're being faggots. I'm considering killing myself on one of their beds to get the last laugh.

>>17345591
Thanks anon. He's out of town with family, while I'm stuck here which is why I feel lonely. As soon as he gets back I think I'll ask him to meet up with me. I just have to figure out how to ask him to meet me

>>17345624
straight up ask him. go for coffee or something. it shouldn't be too hard to get a read on him then. don't stress about it- don't build this up in your head. just let it unfold

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i'm the guy that everyone is friends with in solitude, but suddenly i'm a stranger when their more important friends are around. i thought i had gotten used to it until i realized this is how my best friend sees me too. he straight up told me he's going to delete any of my online interactions with him so he appears "more sociable." the worst part is, he didn't seem remotely remorseful to what he was saying. i don't think he even sees me as a human with real feelings. i don't think anyone does at this point

This site is the only place I can socialize and I've been getting shat on all day today. I just want to be accepted somewhere.

test

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i just want to fucking die already, i'm tired of looking at normal people and knowing i'll never be like them, i'll always be "that guy", being mentally ill is just so fucking tiring, everyday i endure the same torture of intrusive thoughts + autism

please f.am just end my suffering...

I've got a great Life.
>23
>good job 50-60k
>work is challenging and not unfulfilling
>still live at home with parents with no expenses until i feel like moving out
>have gf who loves me, and we've been steady for several years

I know i have a relatively ideal life, but why do i still feel so unfulfilled?
I'm struggling to understand how to make my life worthwhile in between the grind of work.

I feel like i've followed a how-to checklist for how to be successful in life, but don't feel like I've arrived anywhere

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Let's see, short and to the point as possible.

I'm 29, married, have 3 step kids(boys) and a son of my own(all from the waifu), and I've been fired four times from different jobs within the last 18 months. My family and I now live in a two bedroom single wide mobile home in BFE South Carolina after losing our larger, nicer home to Fanny(Fannie?) May, and we're about to lose that because we probably won't be able to pay the rent. I have THC in my system again because all of my co-workers at the job I was just fired from smoke pot and I decided to say 'fuckit', and lit up. My father has been paying our car payment for months now to help us out, and he is strapped because of that. My wife is in bad health and now has to go get two jobs just to cover the bills, while I sit on my ass and wait for my system to clean out so I can HOPEFULLY find another job, but I feel like a failure and am afraid that I'll just lose it like the others.

None of the bad shit hit the fan until about January of 2015 when we got a letter in the mail from our third-party mortgage holders telling us that they had filed for bankruptcy the previous October, by which point nothing could be done to save the house; and I was working a 7 day a week job, averaging 10+ hours a shift on third shift, AND going to college full time to become an Electro-Mechanical Engineer.

How the fuck do I turn this shit around...

I want to lynch all the niggers

>>17345021
Fucking keked

>>17345795
if you had 4 girls you could sell them. Rich as f.

Fallen in love with a girl I've been dating for the past three months, don't know if she feels the same. To scared to tell her in case it fucks everything up. I believe she has the same feelings towards me that I have for her. Don't know what do

>>17345815
Yeah, I reckon I could, but genetics weren't working in my favor. Besides, child services don't look too highly on that sort of thing...

>>17345819
Are your boys hot? Maybe I could find a buyer. And who said anything about authorities?

It upsets me to know that my entire adolescence has been mediocre, aimless, and boring, and even more that I'll probably end up having nostalgia for it anyways.

>>17345816
Always a risk. Look for non verbal signs, and if you're ever in a moment you feel calls for a declaration, go for it.

>>17345816
Three months is too short to know what's going on in your head, much less your blood-pump. My wife told me she loved me after a few weeks, after sex no less. It worked out in the long run, but probably only because she had just gone through a bad divorce before she met me, and I'm an idiot.

Give it some time. Love is like a tough cut of meat, let that steak marinate before you throw it on the grill.

...Christ, that was an awful analogy...

>>17345832
Okay thanks I will.

>>17345824
The step kids take after their dad, so, no. My boy is the most handsome little shit on earth, but you can't have him.

Soo, nah bruh, we're good.

>>17345832
There is no time limit, if you feel it you should say it.

>>17345839
Np Holmes, hope it works out. In the meantime, fuck the shit out of her and give her a reason to fall in love with you, not just because of meaningful gestures, but because she's afraid that after you got ahold of that ass and tore it out of the frame, nobody would want to hit it again.

>>17345839
I mean, like, beat the brakes off of that thing. Wear the tread off of those tires until she's showing steel belts and riding on rims. Fuck her so hard her teeth fall out and you blow out her suspension. Widen that gap between her legs, plant a flag, tap that ass like a keg, make up another bad analogy to describe the amount of abuse that you're going to put her mommy parts through and then wear that analogy out.

>>17345369
same
>tfw you fall for someone who isn't a very good match for you because of this but you can't stop thinking about them

>>17345644
that's terrible anon, i'm the same way
it's like introverts are the stepping stones of the friendship world
well when your friend has some real problems and his new buddies turn him away because he's not fun anymore with those problems, don't be there for him.

>>17345391
>>17345424
Euugghh anon. How can you get new screens?

Need help /adv/.
I have been married for 3 years and now I recently started to think about the last girl I dated before getting married.
She now has a kid and married and I have no idea why I can't stop thinking about her.

I only fell in love twice. With my wife and her. Why does it hurt me that she has a life when I did the same?

Is it because she has a kid and I dont have them yet due to my work?
Is it because we planned to have kids but we broke up?
Why now after 4 years of not seeing each other?
How can I move past that and enjoy time with my own wife. I am way too distracted because of this

>>17344386
I asked her out but as soon as I did she just logged out. I want to think that she is too embarrassed to say yes or what not but it's been a few hours and I feel like shit.

I really want my roommate to leave for like, an hour or two so I can masturbate. We're both female and I haven't had anything satisfying in a long time and I just want to lay in bed and enjoy myself for an extended period of time instead of trying to sneak around worrying about making noise when she's asleep. Fuck just go to the store or something, we don't have to do everything together it's okay to leave me here by myself and go do your own thing.

>>17344386
I hooked up with my best friend's brother and it went horribly.

I'm getting more and more close to this friend, and the more I know about him, more I feel we are perfect for each other. There is this crazy chemistry, we have the same interests and similar personality, joke a lot and also very supportive. As much as I think we'd be a great couple, I feel no attraction or any romantic feelings for him. It's great to be just friends and I don't want to lose that.

>>17344699
19. But it feels like it'll only get worse and never better.

>>17345351
You're welcome! Good to know I can give legit advice while shitfaced, lol. Best of luck to you!!

>>17346244
I've been married for 3 years now as well, still think about my exes, it's normal. Apparently the whole thing about being married, what gives it flavor after long arduous years of marriage, is having the capacity to handle things like this internally, and if it does become a problem, to talk about it with your significant other.

Take her on a vacation, leave the electronic devices in the hotel room, stay the fuck off of social media, and fuck the shit out of her. Problem solved.

>>17346277
Damn, just fucking tell her. I would say 'Hey, I'm fucking horny. I have a case of swamp crotch, I'm so horny. I need to rub one out. If I don't get a couple hours to myself, I will face rape you in your sleep. Now, take a few bucks, go get a beer, watch a movie, anything. Go, now.'

Ooor, you could just fuck her. Hell, that might be why she wants to do everything with you.

Two weeks off and I still couldn't get anything done. Back to my dead end wageslave job.

I feel like throwing myself off the bridge not too far from work. I'll probably do it someday.

>>17344386
I dont feel good enough to exist. I can't stop hating myself
I take these feelings out on people close to me
I dont know what to do anons

Went out with co-worker week ago, on a second date i went for a kiss she kissed back, then she left for a week long vacation, we've been talking now and we said we should see today but havent answered my text messages (shes in town now ofc) and cant help to think shes not into me anymore, fucking insecurites maaaaan im telling you.

>>17345391
Uhm, hardware stores sell replacement screen in rolls. It ain't too expensive, just buy a roll, take out the old screens and keep the frame. There should be a little rubber or plastic shim that holds the old screen in the metal or wooden frame, pull it out and keep it. Cut the new screen just a bit bigger than the inside of the frame, press the shim back into the tracks it came out of to hold the new screen in place, and trim the excess screen material away. It will take about ten minutes per screen once you get the hang of it, and requires simple tools. Or you could just duct tape the fuck out of the old screens.

Google 'replacement window screen', you'll see a lot of different options.

>>17345252
Performance anxiety is not unusual. Take the focus away from penetration completely and it will eventually happen naturally, otherwise see your doc, it may be depression or stress related and help is available

It's funny now because I don't care.
>I will be a major cunt for the next week. Prepare.

Instead of ketchup, i dipped my chicken nuggets in teriyaki sauce because I love teriyaki sauce. It was a very good idea. Good job, me.

Also I managed to get through my 9 hour worknight even though I was still drunk, running on 2 hours of sleep, puking, and fighting off an anxiety/panic attack. Thanks xanax for zomping me out enough to where I didn't have a mental breakdown

>>17345252
I've had that problem before, it happens on occasion even now that I'm married. First, your dick isn't a divining rod, it's not there to tell you that something is wrong with you(conversely, a complete lack of wood can indicate SOME health problems), so don't go off the deep end. Depression can cause that, so can being over excited, not keeping your mind on what you're doing, a lack of excitement, and even a poor diet and medication.

In my own experience, I have taken supplements, eaten garlic, stopped taking Adipex(shit is the anti-wood) that I was prescribed for weight loss, worked out(just to get the blood flowing), and have tried doing different things in the sack to liven things up. Gotta find your groove, Holmes. Shake it off, you'll be alright.

>>17344386
I think that everything in life is just a matter of points of view and that's it.

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I know at least one of you visit this site.

Maybe if you hadn't been cunts and terrible employees things would've turned out differently. That's life though, everyone is a terrible person. Enjoy where you're at, because at this rate, nothing will improve for any of you. I have my own little birds there and I know what is said when I'm not there. Kill yourselves, or fix yourselves.

Oh, and what is actually odd, is how I was treated with less importance than those on "the same level" as I am. But now that I've had enough kek...

Whatever.

What to do at an 'interview?' in a small grocery store. I applied for summer and she said she narrowed it down from 33 to 10 and she wants me to come in and 'have a chat' this week and even said that even though I have no experience, it's sometimes a good thing.

Is this an interview or what? I've never had one and I thought they'd sound more formal.

Should I bring my certificates and qualifications etc?

What should I wear? Some people said jeans but I really don't know and I don't want to over do it but also not look bad.

>>17346667
P.s.: on a more personal level, to a certain someone...you're a super fucked up person for acting the way you do. I told you I thought you were actually a friend and there you go, flip-flopping and favoring those who show you affection. Affection that is misplaced considering where we're all at. Fuck off, you'll never improve your life.
>thief

>>17344386
I'm an asshole to everyone but a total pussy when it comes to leaving a girl because guilt yet I'll cheat on them like I'm being payed to do so.

>>17346700
Don't wear jeans. Slacks and a nice shirt. Look nice. Doesn't matter the occupation. Bring a smile and an enthusiastic attitude.

>>17346704
Yeah you sound like someone I was with not that long ago. Kill yourself.

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>>17346716

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>>17346718
>I have an exit bag with your name on it, little man.

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>>17346726
Please father not again.

>>17346543
>>17346635
Thanks anons. We've definitely taken the focus away from penetration over the past few months and we've ironically been having more "sex" than ever. It's usually me fingering her/eating her out, us doing fetish play, and me finishing myself off. It's not BAD per se, but it's been a long time of doing everything BUT penetration, you know?

>>17346543
I'd definitely been thinking about depression/stress. I have a lot of stress but I've been trying to control it. Guess I have to just keep getting better.

>>17346635
>First, your dick isn't a divining rod, it's not there to tell you that something is wrong with you
Thanks for that, anon. It's been getting pretty annoying to constantly hear everyone acting like I've got a magic wand and two crystal balls down here "telling" me one thing or another. It's and organ that's not cooperating.

>I have taken supplements, eaten garlic, stopped taking Adipex(shit is the anti-wood) that I was prescribed for weight loss, worked out(just to get the blood flowing), and have tried doing different things in the sack to liven things up.
What supplements? Garlic helps? I'm working out more often and it feels good. I could definitely stand to lose some weight, but I'm not THAT overweight, so I sort of ruled it out as not really being the cause of the issue. Fat guys get boners, and I'm just sort of chubby.

>>17346700
Wear some comfortable, clean, tidy clothes. No holes, no baggy pants, no graphic shirts, nothing vibrant. Just grab a pair of newish jeans, a decent polo, and some clean tennis shoes. Bring a résumé, a good writing pen, and your ID. That should do it.

Oh, and shave your genitalia.

>>17346735
I was prescribed Adipex because I was really bad off with my weight after working a forklift job where I just sat on my ass for hours a day. My point of getting up and moving is not to lose weigh (though that's never a bad thing), but just to get some blood flowing and some hormones going. Something that helps guys get going is something called 'free testosterone', it's just extra testosterone flowing in your blood that keeps your body on track; Google it.

Garlic has a bunch of different properties and effects, amongst them are increased cardiovascular health. Niacin can help with that too, but it can make you itch. Google it.

The GNC has a lot of shit that can help with things, if you have one where you live, otherwise just hit up Amazon and grab the same shit that is in the GNC. Google it.

As far as the whole wand and crystal ball thing, people try to find a 'deeper meaning' in what their bodies tell them, so they look for obvious external things to point at what's wrong with them. I do look to my body for answers of what ails me, but you can't just take everything literally or for a fact. I find it helps to have a basic understanding of how the human body works, then use that knowledge to ask questions to a doctor or just Google it.

Oh, and NP Holmes.

I am not sure if the girl is a "trap" or actual girl.

I usually am good at picking em out, but this one leaves me unsure.

>>17346821
I'll get to Googling, thanks!

Just one or two more things. You said you were married. How do you and your wife handle it? I assume she's understanding, but how do you confront it in a relationship? Me and my girlfriend still have great sex even if it's not penetrative via oral or fingering etc. but I get worried that I'm not satisfying her because I'm not putting anything...in? I don't know, I don't have a vagina, but obviously rubbing the clit would probably be different from filling that hole.

I don't know. I just wish I could stick this shit in and give her good feelings that way.

Any experience with cock rings? I'm wondering if I could just get a good boner, ring it, and try that. My boners just come and go like the fucking wind. Gotta "pin" it and let it go to work.

>>17346853
Go watch Crocodile Dundee, he handled that situation nicely. I think it was the second one where he went to NY? Yeah, go watch that movie.

Fightme

>>17346435
Thanks.
Worst part is that we are on vacation. In Italy, where I spent a lot of time with my ex.

I think is just that because when we were in Spain, no problems whatsoever.
Man, bad choice of location.
Thanks anon.

I love you dere and I want you to rescue me from depths of misery with your smile and your touch. I really love you, even though you wouldn't do friend-zone and i'll always love you, and though you're older, I quietly hope you'll consider seriously dating me one day

>>17346868
Cock rings can damage the base of the penis and make matters worse, so be careful when using those.

My wife is just happy to have me, as your lady should be as well. Shit happens in life, and overcoming obstacles is the name of the game when it comes to relationships. Try getting her a vibrator to quicken the pace during sex, she'll appreciate that. In the meantime, do like I said, go for a run, get sweaty, eat a high protein diet with garlic(a good medium rare steak with some garlic potatoes, yum), and go look at some porn. Find something that just turns you on and think about that to get it up. Practice jerking off and not losing the wood in the process. Mind games, Holmes, gotta use mind games on yourself.

The fact that my girlfriend is bisexual actually really gets on my nerves and the thought of her finding other girls attractive gets to me more than it would if it was a guy. I guess because i'm a possessive asshole? Feel free to tell me i'm not a nice person.

Porn has made it hard for me to have sex.

I am talking loli and hentai.

Apart from cutting down the porn, what do? It helps that my wife is short and skinny and gets confused for a 15 yr old while being 27.

Am I a lost cause?

>>17346930
Ack, you suck, I've never left the US. Nice over there? One day, when I inevitably become rich and famous, I will explore the world...

Anyways, you'll be fine dude, just don't let it bother you. I live in a smallish town, and I am constantly running into old girlfriends and fucks. I'm cordial, but sometimes I would love to grab some of them up and have an orgy. I don't entertain those ideas, but I accept that I am an imperfect person, I have desires, and after all is said and done, I'm just a dude with a dick that loves pussy. Just take the feelings you're experiencing and turn them into pure sexual energy, then use that energy to rag the fuck out of your girlfriend.

>>17346952
Meh, I dunno, lack of info, can't decide if your a nice person or not. But I'm sure that my wife wouldn't like me bringing another guy home to fuck if I were bisexual. Just tell her how you feel.

>>17344386
Black lives only matter when the police shoot take them!

>>17346962
Costumes and makeup. Get your old lady to dress up like your favorite character.

>>17346952
I dated a bi girl and went through something like this. You're not a bad person, you're really more a victim of a lot of bi-phobia in society. When I'd get worried or jealous that a girl was hotter than me, I'd remember that her attraction to girls did not affect her attraction to guys, and that her attraction to girls didn't affect her attraction to me. Does checking out a random hot girl affect your attraction to your girlfriend? Would checking out a random hot guy affect it? If you're an ass man with a smaller-butted girlfriend, does checking out a pair of great tits affect your attraction to your girlfriend?

You're not bad, anon. Remember that she's with you for a reason, probably a lot of reasons. YOU. Live up to those reasons.

>>17346941
I'll definitely be careful, just wanted to experiment a bit. Thanks a lot. We have plenty of fun so far. We're both just happy to be here.

>>17346952
initials?

>>17346974
You are really helping mate. I need to look into the future with my wife and not think about the past. It was hard since from everyone I dated or fucked, these two where the biggest ones in my heart. But I choose my wife for a reason, and I love her for those.

I am a Navy Corpsman, so traveling is in the job. If you have some college, either enlist or go officer. I have been to Italy, Japan, China, Australia, China and Malasya/Indonesia/ Singapore all in 6 years. You want to travel, join up as a Corpsman. Or go flag/staff officer. Literally traveled for free.

>>17347001
Wife is a normie. Like as normal as you can be. Not into anime or weeb stuff.

What do you do when you find incestual porn and lolli on your fiances computer? Currently in shock and thoroughly disgusted

>>17347046
Its a fetish?

There is a 90% chance he wont commit thise things.
Confront him and let him know that you understand his fetishes but that they make you unconfortable and cut it out.

It might help him cut down on porn too

if there is a god im going to kill you

>>17347051
I'm guessing it is there was quite a bt over a long period of time. It's like I don't even know him now. Is this normal for people who watch porn to look at? I don't know what to do. This might be the deal breaker. How am I supposed to have kids and start a family with a fucking parasite

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>>17347056
>yfw there is no god

>>17347066
Is it father daughter incest?
How old is him?

Most people, and again, most, dont actually fullfill these fantasies due to stigma/actually disgusting in real life.

Again, best course of action is to talk about these and figure out what is going on with him. Help him cut out porn if needed. Let him know that you find this not normal and if he might need some help.

Dont blame him for it, but rather seek him help if needed.

Then you can decide if either yay or nay in regards to your future toguether

>>17347096
All types, daughter, mom and son, even nieces. Gross I can't believe I'm having this convo. Thanks so much for your advice. I just dread the fight that will come from it. He doesn't take opposition well at all.

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I sometimes obsess over really unimportant things, often concerning my girlfriend.

Today it is this: A friend i work with (who are in the same volunteer group as my girlfriend) asked me if my gf were going to a mountain festival the volunteer group got ten tickets for. He was certain she should have been prioritized for one of them because she has been working quite a lot for the group. I talk with my gf and she says that she never got the offer.

Why do i process this in any way as if it was her fault? What the fuck? Why should I care in the slightest if she got invited or if that means that she not popular or something stupid like that. She is a sweet, outgoing and balanced person, and I can not imagine anyone but me would think this stuff. She does not care at all, she does not feel like she is super connected to any one in that group so she does not mind not going at all.

I get this weird feeling that something is wrong, and then I get a bit afraid of loosing her, like it is not up to me if I love her or not. I do, big time. There are probably some deep rooted stuff with me just wanting to be accepted or something here I guess.

I get a strong desire to ask my friend what was up with that but I really cant decide if that is just being petty, it wont help my girfriend in any way.

Sometimes I get obsessive tendencies, I should not feed them I guess. Anyway, it helps writing it down. I love her, she is a cool lady.

Any opinions?

>>17347009
There you go brother, hit the nail on the head. And NP, tis a pleasure.

I shoulda, coulda, woulda, didn't join the military. I've got three step children with the wifey, and one with her myself, can't join up now, besides my age(29). I'll travel one day. Oh, and thank you for your service, sir!

>>17347015
Hmm... Tried exposing her to anime? My wife was a complete muggle until I forced her to sit down and watch some Doctor Who, now she's all into British entertainment and actors.

It started as a crush and I, being a fuckin retard, cultivated it. It wasn't bad at the beginning, it motivated me to start working out, taking better care of myself, even learning social skills.

Now, 3 years later, I'm good looking, charismatic, and the most fuckin miserable I've ever been in my entire life. I'm hopelessly in love. I know we're never gonna meet, and those feelings are dumb as fuck, yet I can't move on.

I've destroyed relationships for myself, I can't even look at other guys without comparing them to him. And to top it all off, he's a fuckin youtuber, so I can't stop myself from "seeing" him every day.

I know I'm retarded, but I'll always love you Ian

>>17346853
Should mention that she resembles a friend IRL that I know for a fact is a girl.

I was starting to believe things could improve and then i was into a social situation and i started to think about killing myself again.
Hope is pain.

Fucking Christ, all it takes is a picture of you using a wheelchair to ruin my night because of what it represents to me--it represents not taking care of yourself in the past, it represents you refusing to adapt to the point of absurdity, it represents your arrogance and refusal to change.

I'm weak. You win. I'm gone.

I'm fairly positive i'm in an emotionally abusive relationship but all i will ever show is how great we are as a couple.

My BF gives me the silent treatment and half the time i don't know what i did to provoke him. He often tells me 'maybe i should find someone else' when he doesn't agree with my opinion. He looks down on friends or family when i speak about them, telling me they're not good people.

I love him, assumingly much more than he loves me. I know i shouldn't find happiness in someone who treats me this way, but i don't want to lose him. I just want respect and love in return.

I actually think I tried to kill myself two days ago, as I hit rock bottom

I use /adv/ like The Narrator in Fight Club used the help groups since I found out about it.

>>17347116
I have the tiniest, slightest little kink for incest, but I wouldn't dream of fucking my actual real-life sister. That's messed up. Just saying.

Loli is a different story though.

>>17347381
Care to elaborate? I'm new to all this shit and am still freaking out. I can accept normal porn if I'm not home or ragging but jesus. This is not normal stuff

>>17347268
You hate someone because they are physically disabled?

>>17347046
Incest: weirded out but can be a kink. Still keep up my guard, be careful about having kids and keep a watchful eye on them.

Loli - break up with his disgusting pedo ass, report him to the police along with the hard drive if the content allows for it. Kids are off the table, no question.

>>17347387
What would you want me to elaborate on? For me the draw to incest is the "forbidden fruit" and the extreme naughtiness of it. You and a sibling are so horny you fuck each other. But honestly that naughtiness quality is satisfied by plenty of other porn. I "tolerate" incest porn because it can get the job done, but I rarely seek it out. Does that make sense?

I'll admit that loli creeps me out too, but I guess if we want to think "fairly" it's somewhat similar to something like a Catholic schoolgirl or a cheerleader fetish? Innocence mixed with sexuality? I'm kind of grasping at straws here...

If you're going to talk to your boyfriend about it, I'd just try and stay calm and see where the conversation goes. Ask him what this stuff means to him, and ask him to clarify what it means to him in the context of you two having kids together/siblings/etc? This is a sticky situation.

>>17347397
Not hate. Frustration.

I have the same genetic disorder and similar injuries and I've been successful in figuring out a way to navigate life without relying on wheelchairs, et al. We're in a relationship. I've made massive progress over the past half a year.

I've been trying to get her up to speed. She refuses to join in, despite the fact I've seen her really experience some serious discomfort from people referencing the wheelchair.

I know a way to take your life back from this disability and live normally. She isn't interested.

arab girl told me she likes me , we are studying together and even came to visit me over the summer break . i didn't really like her , but now i think i am falling for her . what do i do ?

I'm so lonely. I just want to be loved. The only thing that feels good is getting high. I'm going to kill myself soon.

>>17347398
>>17347406
Wow I didn't know it was actually pedo stuff! I thought it was just weirdo jap cartoon porn or something. Holy shit. How can someone hide the fact they're toxic for so long. I feel so stupid for trusting him

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I was fired a few months ago due to a lay off and it's been hell getting a new job. I've been going to some interviews, I'm good at them, I do everything that's advised and I still can't land anything. It's driving me nuts, I'm a very independent kind of person and not having money and having to depend on my mother until I get onto my own feet again makes me feel like utter garbage. I want to die.

>>17347484
I'm not defending pedophiles at all, but some believe that loli =/= pedophilia. Did you think loli was something else? Every time I've seen it, it's used as an umbrella term for depictions of underage girls in an anime style.

I know my ex gf has lied to me about dealings (non-sexual) with another guy and I've waited for her to come clean ever since early February and so far she has not.
The fact that she can lie and manipulate so easily and cold really hurts and disappoints me and it ruined every bit of hope and desire to spend my life with her. I believe that she loves me but it simply isn't enough,
I want her to be safe and happy but not part of my life anymore.

>>17347148
>muggle
Yeah, she is not interested in any anime other than DBZ and Super champions, zodiac knights and she grew up in Peru, where anime is huge. Part of the reason I like anime myself actually, since the exposure to it was huge.

I tried watching JoJo and it wasnt her cup of tea. Watching Kek la kek and she tought I was a pervert.

I may have to think on my priorities and cut down porn.

>>17344386
When we watched "up!" she cried because of the first scenes. I actually cried because i felt lucky to have her there with me.
We've only been together since march but the chemistry is extraordinary good.

We'll be going on vacation in a couple of days, take some things and record us fucking. Good times ahead.

I miss seeing the moon every night.

>>17347481
Join the military.
Like really. Its a good job, steady income and travel the world.

I joined wanting to kill myself and now I am married, traveling the world and still not scared of dying since I knew what i joined.
Simce you are in 4 chin and I assume you know how to handle a computer, go for an IT job in the navy. Enjoy the free college. I have a friend that works in the fucking white house as their IT guy. Cool shit

>>17347504
Not scared of dying?>>17347538

I should probably become a recruiter and lurk websites. But I can tell you from experience, best fucking thing I did with my life instead of doing coke with that girl in Texas that night 6 years ago

>>17347387
Again, those are fetishes and rarely people act on those if they had the chance. 2D makes everything better than 3D.

How are you in this website and not even notice the banners/adds with anime girls on them?

>>17347550
I'm starting to think that this anon is pulling our leg.

>>17347563
Maybe I am too trusting but who gets their kicks of saying fake problems on a chinese gold farming webaite?

>>17347569
People get bored...I dunno. The anon sounds way too clueless and up-in-arms about this whole thing. She sounds more like a pearl-clutching mom than a person who found porn on their fiance's computer.

>>17347569
People get kicks out of everything.

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Im feeling so bad my grades in university are shit . I already lost many time however I have some friends in the uni. I hate you chemical teachr

He blocked me 5 years ago but when I see him he acts like we're close

He says he wants us to go back to how we were and we could..but it's him. If he doesn't love me, there's nothing I can do, I'm nothing. Fuck me for the rest of my life

Whatever

It didn't work
I'm not over him
At all

I'm out of here

I love you
You'll be the death of me
Not to take my own life
Love will take me

Sweet heart
I take it all to heart, oh my sweet heart
To taste you, to love you
Bliss encapsulated
Roll with me

My family feels bad when I avoid them, but being around them isn't good for my health. They're not even bad people, but the way they live their lives is affecting me poorly. I NEED to take better care of myself before I go crazy and do something horrible.

>>17347550
>>17347563
>>17347569
I'm not making anything up. My eyes gloss over anime as I have zero interest in it so why would I click on it when I'm usually on here bored at work and lurking? Honestly I would talk to a friend about it but I'm mortified to tell anyone. Hence getting it off my chest here. Thanks for all advice though I think I know what I need to do here. Will be hard but that's life

Just recently I noticed it was two years since my ex dumped me. In the time since then I've moved to a new city, have a cool job in my career field, and I've never felt more attractive, intelligent, and passionate in my interests.

Yet I haven't dated anybody since her and I haven't even fucked anybody since her.

She was my first love and I still find myself thinking about her constantly. I'm not pining for her, we don't even keep in touch, but just little thoughts and reminders. I think never really rebounding in the way that I could or should have has really crippled me emotionally, because she's really all I have to draw from or dwell on when I think about my romantic history.

All my friends fuck like rabbits and go from relationship to relationship and it seems effortless. I don't know what's holding me back. I go out socially, I even talk to girls pretty regularly but I also keep my distance. Every day that goes by where I remain in my solitude just heightens the fear and anxiety of ever taking that chance on love again. I know the only way to overcome this worry is to face it head on, but it's like a reflex now that I just run from what I want. It's the worst Catch 22.

You're all I need

>>17347715
You already have everything you need, then!

i'm worried i'm an asshole in fact i'm almost sure i am one.

i don't know what to do HELP

If I'm in deep and feel insecure, I fuck it up for myself, as though I subconsciously pressed a self-destruct button and I recall all my fears, the words, and remember why he cut me out, we were both responsible but I said the opposite of how I felt, now I'm fucked

Sometimes i wake up next to my girlfriend, look at unmadeup pillowsquished face and i think "yeah, i can see myself waking up to this every morning for the rest of my life".
Sometimes i look at her pudgy body and i just think "eww".

>>17347725
Don't be with her if you don't fancy her, ugh. People can be so judgemental without seeing their own flaws

My older brother's birthday is on Friday and we're taking the annual camping trip. I'm not sure how it's going to go over this time. I made an insensitive comment the other day and it would be wrong to do that again this week. I think it's my defense mechanism when things are getting tough. It's easier to deal with what's hurting when I apply humor and blunt comments to it the way he would have. It's been too long for anyone to understand if I respond by crying. I still fucking miss him so much. I still walk into his room sometimes expecting to find him there instead of my little brother. I still get a good idea and he's on my shortlist of people to tell. Sometimes I can't remember what he was here for and what he wasn't. I can't believe he wasn't around when I bought my car - I can't help but wonder if he'd love it or hate it...

>>17344469
You are worth something, no matter if people are disappointed in you, including yourself.
I'm a disappointment as well, but see, expectations and human cpacity to meet them are so arbitrary.
So many people have lived, laughed, suffered and done all varieties of deeds.
You're just another human being living a random life which will end on its own at some point.
The luckiest can falter, the most miserable find happiness again and you, you can realize the limited meaning of any expectation, success or perceived failure in this material world and move on to craft a positive outlook for yourself.

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>Be me
>at a music Festival in Indio CA
>Random dude gave me a tab of LSD in return for a cigarette.
>Completely took me by surprise.
>Dropped the tab
>could not function in crowds after about 40 minutes
>walked through the campsite to a nearby hill
>got to the top and was met by a couple listening to Ravi Shankar and staring at the stars
>All of us were frying balls and believed that the stars had aligned so that we would meet at that exact place and time as it had so happened.
>Continued listening to Ravi Shankar until the sun came up
>at some point felt as though my Soul had left my body and continued on a spiritual journey through the desert.
>soul eventually came back to my body with all of the experiences it had gained while it was on a journey
>I have never felt so spiritually and emotionally in tune with my body . Am glad to have experienced such peace.

-My second LSD experience .

I'm too nice to people, which leads me to getting hurt and taken advantaged of the most.

I fucking hate my housemate. She's loud, self absorbed, and lacks any inkling of basic awareness for the personal space, privacy, and property of others. I wish I could tell her off but the rent is cheap and I have nowhere else to go right now.

>>17347534
Help me tomorrow

>>17347776
Fucking hippy

I've been reading self help books because I've been having trouble with my relationship and could clearly see I was the problem. We would have lots of issues but she never told me that it was me. I'm a needy cunt. I need to change this. I just want to see her again so we can talk.

>>17344386
I'm scared to get picked up by my date from Grindr

:/

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You led me on for half of a fucking year only to slowly stop talking to me, unless I initiated the conversation, but you never stopped the flirting. Then on one of you drunken nights you ask me to come to Puerto Rico with you to meet your father, and I decline because I can't get off work. Then you go a month with no talking to me, and when I ask what happened I get "Texting is too annoying. Oh and btw I'm going to see an ex bf in prison, we're back together."

I fucking hate you. You've wasted half of my year and made me even more miserable than I was when we met.

My Valentine's Day was spent alone in my room with a chocolate bass I bought for you feeling like shit because you were busy posting on FB about a great fish some dude bought for you.

Fuck me and fuck you.

>>17347827
What time?

>>17347917
I'm free after 2 彡

>>17347921
How late would you be willing?

>>17347921
Just come over tonight and watch fireworks with me.

Today I think I had a panic attack. I mean it was fucking weird. I always thought I have control of myself and how I react to my mental state but suddenly I just couldn't breathe normally I was hyperventilating and standing was difficult so I tumbled down. It has never happeded to me before and I hope it won't come back.

>>17347722

Mate, based on personal experiences, you know you're an asshole when people you don't care about, care about you.

And the worst part is, or best, depending on your outlook, is that you don't even feel a little bit bad for it because you know that under the right circumstances, they'd be part of a lynch mob to get you. You're just trying to survive.

That's when you're an asshole.

>>17347956
What caused it?

I want a sexy lewd girlfriend who doesn't mind that my flesh is sometimes not up to it even if the mind is.

>>17347960

is me.
I've re-read my post and it sounds fedora-tier, so... I want to point out that I'm not even trying to be edgy.

I'm a robot who's been shat on by a lot of people, learned to hide my powerlevel and "act" really well as not to make myself an easy target. Spent too long wearing this mask because I got a job, and all this extroversion and acting is taking its toll on me.
I've slowly turned into an asshole, didn't even notice until it was too late, like a frog in boiling water.

Basically, my point was, if you still care, you're not an asshole.
But others might treat you like one, just becase they can.

I have not told anyone outside of my immediate family about this, but it's a rather long one:

A couple years back while I was in Louisiana, I was living with my mom in a trailer. She was suffering from Bulimia and Anorexia, coupled with the fact that was struggling to get over her alcoholism. Every day, we would argue over something stupid, and she would lock herself in her room, watching her Supernatural DVDs over and over again, since we didn't have Internet over there.

These fights would sometimes become physical, such as one time I addressed her by her first name, and she whipped over the head several times with a belt while I was kneeling down on the ground. Every time I would try to defend myself or get her off my back, she would threaten to call the police on me to have her own son arrested.

Along with the fights, she was a big hoarder, buying random shit from garage sales every week and storing them in a couple of rooms that weren't used in the trailer. However, she didn't just hoard inanimate objects; she also took in cats. This got worse when my sister and her husband moved in, bringing up to sixteen cats in a single-wide trailer. In March of 2014, I ended up going to the hospital because I was constantly coughing. Over there, I was diagnosed with Bronchial Spasms, the main cause being the cats since I'm allergic to them. As a result, I missed three days of school while I had a big project, and in the end, my mom refused to get rid of the cats.

A few months later, she would begin to drill questions at me about my religion, as she was a Christian extremist, constantly asking me questions about whether or not I believed in the Bible and all that Jazz.

>>17348022
>Continued

So while I was in high school, my mom was obsessed with a pawn shop owner in a city near where we lived. I was lucky if I went a couple of days without hearing about how handsome he was or how she would get us off the ground -- we were below the poverty line -- when she married him. Spoiler alert: it never happened. The guy she was interested in told her that was never interested in a serious relationship, but bless my delusional mom, she did not listen. She found out that he was in a relationship with another woman, so she does the rational thing and stop by his apartment, screaming and kicking at his door. When I learned about this, since I was at school when it happened, my mom and I were sitting in the beat up Camry at a parking lot in town, and she read off several texts she sent to her 'lover', and the last one pushed me off the edge. It said: "If you ever find yourself with a gun in your mouth, pull the trigger." I snapped and grabbed the phone from her hands, leading her to slap me across the face, call me a fucking bitch, and blow cigarette at my face.

Then October 2014 comes around, and it's a week before my seventeenth birthday. Mom and I go to visit my grandmother to watch the New Orleans Saints vs Detroit Lions game (American Football). I knew I didn't want to sit around hearing them talk for about three hours, so I grabbed a bottle of water and decided to take a walk. However, I eventually got lost, since I took the wrong street, meaning I was wandering around for at least an hour before I managed to find my grandma's house. I was so tired, that I collapsed in the car port, my mom flat out ignoring me, as she was watching the game through the front window. I wheezed out, begging for water, and the only response was to shut up. I struggled to get myself back up and I asked once more for water, but in a stern voice. She reluctantly agrees and gets me a glass, telling my grandma that I was just being a damn wussy.

My 22 year old brother died last year. He was living across the water in England for over a year and came home to surprise all of the family for the weekend. He died on the saturday evening. As hard as it was, the worst part aside from actually losing my brother was seeing his things come back from England. His whole 22 years came home in 2 boxes. He went to school , he went to college he worked and he gamed and he loved it. After all of that work it all just came down to nothing. I have no motivation for anything since seeing how little it all seems to be worth. Its like everything i go to do starts off in my head with "Why should I bother now" , I almost failed college with this attitude and it sucks shit. Its just that thought of , why the fuck should I care, I could die tomorrow and its not gonna be worth a fuck. Kills me , I settle myself pretty fast in negative situations because just go into this "I don't give a fuck" mood. So annoying !

I get a section 8 subsidy and I'm sick of living in nigger neighborhoods.
I'm crippled and can't work.
After living near niggers so long I can barely tolerate the news because it's all niggercrime other than the weather.
Fuck niggers.

>>17344893
if it isn't interfering with other aspects of your life or damaging your health then it clinically isn't a problem.

that said, it sounds like it might be interfering with at least one relationship.

I'm a young adult. I'm not sure if I'll go to college. I did bad in high school, and I suck at english. I might just learn a trade.

I'm still a virgin. Having a relationship would seem otherworldly to me. I'm under 6 foot and I have aspergers. I've never tried getting a one night stand, but I don't want STI's, and a low status guy like me wouldn't get laid anyway.

A lot of my free time is spent browsing the internet and gaming.

>>17344978
turn your money into a girlfriend by appearing affluent(which you are).

>>17344893
Your liver wont thank you for it, if nothing else.
Also, you need to play harder games.

>>17345006
>Addiction does not start with first use
it does with Heroin (physically dependent rather than emotionally dependent). Physical withdrawal symptoms start as little as 8 hours from dose.

>>17348022
>>17348054
>Last part

My birthday comes up, and my family holds a party for me. My mother has three sisters, the youngest one siding with her, saying I was ungrateful towards her for what she has done for me. However, whenever I told the other two sisters about what happened, they agreed that it was foolish to place a sports game above your own child.

Around December, she had totaled the car, because she apparently passed out while driving. Thankfully nobody else was hurt; my grandmother offers her a used car and she takes it.

For Christmas, I fly to Dallas to see my father and step-mother, who were stunned to see me for how I was: a shaggy-haired and meek kid, who barely spoke or anything else. However, they tried their best to make sure my stay was as comfortable as possible, and the day when I had to go back home, my father offered me a place to stay if I needed to get away from Mom. I shrugged, saying I would consider his offer.

One day in Mid-January of 2015, I come home from school, and I see my mom acting a lot more jolly than usual. Something felt wrong, but I thought it was just some medication she was taking, especially since she had been sober for six months. Later, she wants to rest in her bed, so I lead her to her room, seeing a translucent, long-necked bottle by the foot of her bed. It was a fifth of vodka, and it was almost empty. I freak out, taking a picture of the bottle with my crappy phone before smashing it in the garbage dumpster outside.

I call my father, telling him how she was drunk. Initially, he doesn't believe me, since again, she had been sober up until that point. He calls her, and I can hear her slurred voice, telling him how I was an ungrateful brat towards her. This pushed my father off the edge, calling me back, once again offering a safe place in Dallas. I take that chance, and one early morning, with all my possessions in bags. I fled. If I did not do this, I would either be dead or in jail.

I'm so fucking tired of getting jealous over things I have no right to be jealous about. God. Why am I like this?

Yeah. Now I actually don't like you anymore. It might seem like a minor thing, but it just made me think of you as creepy.

>Started flirting this girl
>She seemed to respond to this as intended
>Everything is going better (from my perspective)
>Every monday I spend the whole morning with her 7am-1pm and we spend time just to both of us
>Today I was happier than ever just talking and seeing her
>She asked me later, why you have been so happy all the day, I replied...I had a good morning
>She asked back, Good morning? What happened lol?
WHAT SHOULD I DO????

>>17348248
I mean... I don't know. Personally, I'd be straight with her because I don't like the back and forth and wondering. But in the end, it depends on you, I guess. I don't know if you don't feel like confident in it and that you might scare her away. From what I can tell, though, I don't see much of a reason not to.

>>17348193
What did they do?

>>17344386
I've been so careless
Some guy's been leading me on with all of this stupid nonsense
I replaced everything important with shit

It's not my fear that matters
It's that everything that did matter has been buried

It feels like it happened in another life but it happened in THIS life. I don't even know where it could have fit in my life, but it did.

I was onto something and you took me down. I was a threat.

>>17344597
Black bro here. Honestly it depends on the guy. Most black dudes in college are usually chill (atleast that's what I hear). Just don't overboard with it. Personally, I let my roommates joke about whatever.

>>17345800
Were not all that bad, honest

>>17347606
You did the right thing.

I think this girl may be falling for me...

Though we live 3k miles apart across the ocean...

I'm afraid I won't fall in love again. Heck. I'm afraid no one will ever feel special to me again. It's been three years since I've felt a real connection.