My cousin just asked me to be a groomsman in his wedding. Here is the situation. We were great friends growing up, even though we lived in different states. I haven't seem him in a few years because I've been off at school and he's been in the military. Also, I haven't met the bridge or any of her friends/family.
I don't want to accept because it will cost a lot of money, and I'm not sure if I'll have the full time to commit - I don't know how hands on he wants us to be. The one time I was a groomsman, it cost me a ton more money than I expected.
I also live 1,000 miles away, so I won't be around to help plan anything or attend the bachelor party or anything. Logistically, I don't know if it'll work.
I'm also a pretty anxious person and I don't like getting dressed up and having to stand up there - I'm pretty sure it'll be a really long, formal ceremony and the church will be super hot (it's on Dec 31st so they blast the heat, I've been there, I know) and it makes me really anxious that I'll pass out from the heat. Might be a silly worry but I've passed out from heat before and it's always in the back of my mind.
Also, he told me he wants my brother and our other male cousin to be in it. So I would look like a real dick if I was the only cousin not to be in the party and instead just be sitting in the crowd.
Am I basically obligated to accept here? If I ever get married, I might ask him to be in my party, but obviously I won't if I decline here.
>>17345273
>Am I basically obligated to accept here?
No. But fuck you. Man the fuck up you lazy motherfucker.
This is what relationships are. A hell lot of work, but they're good for you and it's a lot better than being lonely the rest of your life. Why doesn't it just simply make you happy to make people happy, lazy ass?!
Your cousin will always be thankful, so alone for this fact, do it faggot!
He is not some dense retard not knowing you won't be able to be invoice as much due to the distance you dense motherfucker.
>>17346324
>invoice
*involved. Fucking autocorrect.
I'm a woman so if I asked a cousin or friend to be involved in my wedding and they had these issues, I would understand (unlike the other anon).
Keep in mind Im the type of woman who chose to marry by the court and didn't have a ceremony because I thought it was dumb to spend more money. Things may be different with your cousin if he's the uppity type like the other anon.
If youre low on money then be straight up and tell your cousin. If he understands then he may buy your tux for you (but he probably wont since he's making military money). If he doesn't understand then oh well, show up to the wedding with a gift you can afford.
>>17345273
"Bob, I really appreciate the honor, but I'm going to have to decline. I can't take the time off work, even if I could afford the trip. So you're going to have to settle for my real congratulations and best wishes - and, of course, the present I'll be sending you."
Here's a personal story from last month OP.
I had a very close friend from kindergarten
She's 25 and rushed into
>getting a bf
>getting a shit career
>getting engaged
>getting a house
>getting a truck
>getting a dog
>planning a child
It was like she was planning a to-do checklist for security in her life.
Every two weeks she said she expected me to be there even when I had important tasks around the time, like being in two other foreign fucking countries. "Better be back for my wedding" she'd say expectantly.
So I blocked the shit out of her on all social media because sometimes weddings are selfish as fuck, expectant and ignorant.
I suppose what I did might be just as ignorant; but it got pretty taxing.
Just my two cents.
>>17346504
>Not wanting to have any wedding ceremony
>>17346455
>Blocking best friend from kindergarten
We are on the autismo kingdom 4chan indeed
