>>17345149

When you say he made you question your relationship, what sort of stuff is he doing (or not doing)?

>ITT women not knowing what they want.

>>17345157


idk
he just did stupid dumb shit. like he told me he hung out with his friend and there were his friends wife's girlfriends there and be didn't tell me.

he took a snapchat of his best friends ex on Instagram that had 69 likes and said "i would have liked ur pic but it already had an ideal amount of likes" which seemed like a grey area of flirting, also went to her work (restaurant) and saw her whatever.

was best friends with his ex's twin sister for most of our relationship, constantly snapchat her, call her late at night before, had her texting him asking to breakfast with her and her mom.

other stupid, immature shit like this I put up with for a while. idk if he still does stuff like this.. like there been more borderline things recently, but I'm trying nkt to overrract. but it made me really jealous/possessive of him now.


and other things unrelated to that, he doesn't take me out often or make me feel that good. sometimes it will be a month where we didn't do anytning besides sleep
together and stay in. he goes out with his friends a lot but doesn't take me out much. only when he's in his sweet mood where he puts in effort. he never calls me just to talk, and when we text he's really bland. we don't talk really deep and get deep into each other's lives/minds. i know it can't be all his fault.

>>17345184

hmm.. ok. One final question. How old are you both?

>>17345184
he also disappears a lot and says he's sleeping. he does work overnight shifts once in a while so his sleep schedule can get messed up, but a couple times he's literally disappeared for 24 hours. sometimes 15. and is always "sleeping"

he hangs with people 24/7 and all his friends do is drink beer and live at home they are adult children :/

>>17345206
I'm 24 he's 23

>>17345216

Alright, well, I'm going to give you some advice. It looks to me like you two have hit a wall. A wall that looks like is not worth trying to jump over. I'll tell you why. You can put all the effort into trying to make this work, but if he can't, and is not willing to change for you. If he's not willing to change his lifestyle for the relationship, than it's time to call it quits with him.

I know a relationship swings both ways, but I'm looking at it from your perspective. You two seem to be carrying around each other, rather than walking side by side. Whats the point in that?

>>17345236
I mean... he did make some changes. he stopped being friends with his ex twin sister and her brother (although he basically has to choose them or me, bc I was sick of it)

idk. he still kinda lives the same as he did when he was single tho? he always tells me he just hanging with his friends I know and never mentions anyone else for a while, but I feel like sometimes he's lying. he hung out with his best friends fuck buddy and his best friend and didn't tell me about it which I find weird bc I usually ask what he's doing so I don't get when he was hanging with them and her and didn't tell me . I met him at his friends last night, and his friends little 18 year old
sister had her friends over, and him and his friends were hanging with them. he said he didn't know they were coming, and that all their boyfriends were there (tho I can't confirm it bc I didn't see them).. and he was drunk as shit. so it's like what is he doing usually when he says he's just with so and so?


like I feel like he's sacrificed a lot for me, but I feel like there's still a lot of problems.

we're supposed to go on vacation in two weeks and he bought my plane ticket and is paying for most of it.

idk what to do.

>>17345253

You're obviously not happy with how this relationship stands, so why pretend? If you need to basically threaten him into making decisions for the better of the relationship, something is wrong. Relationships are full of sacrifices. Just because he has one right, doesn't mean he can get away with one wrong. You're not satisfied here. You two are clearly living on different worlds, different mindsets, so why keep this up? I made loads of sacrifices with my ex-girlfriend, and she did too. I swallowed a lot of anger, and turned the other cheek when she made a mistake. But you get to a point where even after all that, things just don't click. It's like trying to patch a boat full of holes in the middle of the ocean.

So the ball is in your court now, What do you do? Live like this? or Take a break?

>>17345286


yeah I know. I feel like I'm always mad at him because he does stupid shit, and then I look bad because I'm the one who's always mad, and I feel like a bad girlfriend. but everything eould be reserved if I didn't turn my friend that asks me out to a bar every night if I was always going. I don't do dumb shit, I guess it makes me upset when he does.

he just makes me so mad and probably feels on a leash, and it makes me look bad, but I feel like it's kinda his fault, and I'm tired of feeling controlling and stuff that's not really how I like to be...

I tried letting it be more free didn't even ask him what he was doing today, but I feel like a relationship shouldn't be like that.

idk. like I'm not ready/certain if I wanna break up with him, and I don't want to right befor vacation what if I regret it, and I also don't wanna go on vacation then realize I don't wanna be with him and have him feel like I used him.

>>17345306

Why don't you try coming out of that box that you seem to be in? Your boyfriend isn't on one. Maybe when he sees you getting out there, he'll start to realize "oh shit, i might be losing her".

You're cornering yourself. Don't break up with him. Go on vacation. Try to focus on just the two of you. Feel him out. See how much he invests on you this vacation. And when you come back, come of out that box. Don't be afraid of "what comes next". You're young. He isn't the be-all and end-all. Remember that.

>>17345328


true. when I got a new job, with like attractive people, he started trying a lot harder again and being a better boyfriend for a while. then he stopped after a while. he probably felt like he was gona lose me?

yeah. I'll just got. and try to live my life more. I don't really do much besides hang with him and one of my friends so he probably takes me for granted bc he knows I'm never even in situations where I would find someone else or he'd lose me..

>>17345353

But don't do it just for him. Don't do it as a way to coax him into caring or something. Do it for yourself. Do it because you want to have fun, otherwise you'll be stuck in that box again.

>>17345367


true. I have done things out of spite/to make him jealous/in hopes he'll care more, and I always made myself miserable bc I did stuff I didn't even wanna do.

I just have to focus more on my life and make closer friendships and do stuff for me and be busy. I was completely happy single before and lived for myself it's not like i can't do that again

OP, just be more like other women and trade up or trade sideways: change your man.
Life's too short to linger with just one man.
Plenty of fish in the sea!!