What is the best way to deal with abstinence?
I'm trying to quit a *lot* of bad habits (porn, smoking, shit food, too much internet, videogames, etc) and I'm trying to quit them all at once because I've been trying to systematically remove them one by one for fucking 25 years and it just doesn't work because I intensify the other bad habits, and when it's time to cut a new other I always relapse back on the previous one.
Some people struggling with drug addiction have told me that working out helps, but I don't really have the money to go to a gym.
Fucking help me you guys. I'm at that age where I need to get my shit together or risk being this forever.
>>17342200
Ex smoker and ex fatty here.
First off, you can't change everything at once. Doing that will overload your willpower and you will relapse right away. If you have a lot of unhealthy habits, focus on getting rid of one. Once you train yourself to get rid of one addiction or bad habit, it will be easier to get rid of the others.
I personally started with quitting smoking. I spent a year focusing on not smoking, ever. If I wanted to smoke, I either worked out, played video games, or just went to sleep. It was fucking hell for about 2 months, and then it got easy. After a year, I had no desire to smoke anymore. One down.
Losing weight was much harder. I tried and failed several times while I was still a smoker, but after I quit smoking, I also failed a lot. What helped me, though, was knowing that if I could quit smoking, I could also figure out a way to lose weight. The solution was fairly simple, I got a gym buddy. A year later, the weight wasn't a problem and I had decent - not perfect, but decent - eating habits.
I still watch porn and play too many video games, but those are next on my list. The simple fact of the matter is, you can't tackle everything at once. If you try to, you WILL relapse. It's been proven over and over again. Take it one vice at a time, one day at a time, and you will eventually make it.
You can do it, anon. You just have to start today.
Here's glare of death fitness trainer to motivate you.
>>17342200
Doing them all that once is a huge mountain to climb. Some people like to knock everything out cold turkey, and sometime's that's appropriate, but it's not sustainable for everyone.
When I first broke through NEETdom and being a fat shit, the first thing that got the ball rolling was being in the habit of exercising 3x a week. Then I got into dieting (i.e. refraining from overeating), and then I started losing weight and getting fit. From there, I felt less anxiety and depression and started getting more ambitious and got a job. It's a snowball effect, and I think you have to start with the most concrete thing that builds the rest of your good habits up.
It's definitely easier to stick to a good habit than it is to abstain from a bad one, but the nice thing is that the former reinforces the latter.
Here's what I would do if I were you:
Resolve to quit vidya, porn, and social media (e.g. 4chan, reddit, fb, etc.) until winter. Ideally indefinitely but just focus on the next few months as a pact to yourself. Spend the summer doing other things, building other habits. The cravings get strongest over the first week or so but subside afterwards. For whatever reason, the internet things are the biggest time sinks. If you can ignore them, jack off manually, play board games with friends, etc. it'll already improve your situation.
Pick up a positive habit. You say you can't get a gym but you can still exercise outdoors for free. Try C25K. Force yourself to progress through a program of progressive difficulty. This is the real life equivalent of leveling up and I swear it will make you feel more capable than you ever thought possible. Exercising in general calms your mind and evens out your body chemistry.
Once you've done these, and established a foundation of good habits, then tackle quitting smoking. IMO it's the hardest task before you, and the one that's going to ask the most of your brain chemistry/willpower. I would save that for last.
>>17342396
>cont.
Overall: successful recovery relies on a combination of reinforcing good habits and eschewing bad habits. One takes motivation, the other takes willpower, but the nice thing is that each reinforces and rewards the other. I encourage you to pursue these things, and not to quit when you meet temporary failure. Pic related is a little hallmark-y but very, very relevant.
>>17342200
My therapist said that he thinks that addictions are caused by lack of intimacy. It makes sense. If we don't have healthy connections with people around us, with our job, school, duties and hobbies, we seek it with something giving easy pleasure.
>>17342510
We also don't feel the same type of "social pressure" that could drive us towards something.
Going to the gym for example is much easier if everyone around you is working out and you want to fit in. And you have the classic stereotype about sluts coming from broken families because the parents can't influence her behavior.
The best way to deal with abstinence is to realize that you're a fucking naive bumpkin eating Christian pseudo-scientific bullshit.
You will never be able to stop, because everyone has a lifelong sex drive and it's impossible to stop without doing serious damage to your sexual system.
There is an inverted U curve of benefits. If you don't jerk off for a few days, your sex drive rises, but if you don't jerk off for some months, your sex drive plummets, and keeps plummeting, irreversibly. After some months, your dick will permanently be smaller, your voice will be effeminate, your looks will be effeminate, your testosterone levels drop drastically, ...
>>17342637
>After some months, your dick will permanently be smaller, your voice will be effeminate, your looks will be effeminate, your testosterone levels drop drastically
Speaking about pseudo-scientific bullshit...
