I feel like everything about my girlfriend is perfect for me, and she seems to feel the same way and we love each other. But for some reason there just seems to be this disconnect and neither of us can discover the source of it, which is causing us a lot of pain. She says wants to take a break so she can discover what the problem is from an objective viewpoint. I was upset and in the moment, I told her we should just break up but the thought of us leaving each other put us both in tears. I don't really know what to do at this point. I want it to work so badly between us. My question is how to do you think I can discover what the problem is and how do you think I can fix it? How can I form a stronger connection with her and make this relationship work?
>>17337874
>we love each other but theres a disconnect
maybe you dont love each other. maybe you enjoy each other. maybe you find each other attractive, the sex is good, the hanging out is fine, but its shallow and surface level and you cant find a way to get passed that.
and now you are 'used' to each other so the thought of not seeing each other makes you sad.
g enerally speaking the things that bond people are
>alone time
>long times alone (like a weekend of just the two of you)
>sharing personal things
>tough situations (not necessarilly hardship, but even being on a road trip for two weeks is 'tough' and stressful in its own way
>>17337915
Thanks for the reply. You may be right. I used to doubt if she loved me, but i'm pretty sure now I know at the least she thinks she does. I think I do love her, or at least I have more than anyone else. I don't think love is the thing that's missing. I think it's something else and I just have no clue how to find it.
I've encountered a similar problem with my bf. Good thing i go to /adv/ and read what anxious and awkward guys get told to do/be around girls. That wad exactly the problem. He kept his fears and "weaknes" fromme because he thought he needs to be "tough and manly" for me. I told him to cut that out and let me in instead. We are a perfect match. I love him with all his "flaws". But him putting up an act seriously drove us appart. I can imagine it something similar in your case. Someone or both are putting up a kind of act. That can be only partial and with best intentions, but it will make you feel very distant
