I have a pretty great partner, supportive, loves me, sometimes gets frustrated and talks about leaving me, rejected my marriage proposal a year ago
I basically cheated on him when I was on a trip over the weekend, mainly emotionally cheating, with some other guy I am in love with and very attached to
Other guy is married with a kid on the way, also loves me, sad feels all the way around
Can't look my partner in the eye, can't be with this other guy, can't leave my partner to be alone (live together, have a cat, all friends in common)
I also am taking a class and don't want to disenroll, would feel like a failure, and can't not show up, so I can't just run away and leave without feeling like shit about that too
I don't want to run away also because I need to leave money for my partner to survive, and I have the good car
I just can't stay with my current partner, can't be with the other guy, can't stand the thought of him sleeping with his wife, can't stand the thought of me sleeping with my partner, can't stand the thought of going to this class, can't stand the thought of dropping it
I am currently leaning towards getting a $40 room in a motel 8 and offing myself in the bathroom, leaving a sign on the door for housekeeping to not go in and just call the cops
Help?
>>17330919
You're a fucking kid.
Get out of your relationship.
If you can't be with the other guy, find someone else.
Open yourself to Christ.
Attend church services(Protestant churches with an appropriate life group for your age range is the best way to start if you've never been to church or followed Christ).
Pray to God for comfort and guidance.
>>17330919
sounds like a fucked situation. you're gonna get your ass blasted by the rest so let's skip that and get to the good stuff
i'm assuming you actually want to solve your problems rather than just leave them be and unfortunately you can't do that if you're dead so suicide is off the list. sucks to face your fuck ups huh?
here's my proposal:
-drop both guys
-do not run away, manage finances with original guy and keep going to class
-apologize for your actions and cope with the fallout by either going to therapy or practicing self-help
>>17330946
Yeah, I know I fucked up, thanks for seriously giving me advice. Are the first two points two different suggestions? Telling me not to drop the class is reassuring, grad school is hella expensive
If I drop them both I'm going to have to start my life over again, I feel. I don't think I have the energy for that.
>>17330970
same suggestion. not sure what your living situation is like but you need to come clean to your bf and live separately. i'm sure you can find someone to crash with. and rest assured, time heals all wounds.
lol you know, sometimes you have to make sacrifices in life. you're the one who got yourself int this situation and you're the one who's going to get yourself out. you can't have your cake and eat it too.
what i'm trying to say is, you need to do whatever it takes - and if it means starting your life over again, then you fucking do that. you will find the energy.
>>17330985
We live together, I could break it off for "general unhappiness" reasons
It's really reassuring that you think I can find the energy to get myself out of this, I feel overwhelmed and like nothing can ever get better again
Right now I feel like my main emotional support is the person I cheated with
>>17330970
>I don't think I have the energy for that
Truly dropping both men and starting again will be far easier than maintaining the shit existence you've worked yourself into. Next time, stay away from a married man, they never leave their life.
>>17331004
>main emotional support is the person I cheated with
actually he's not, he's a large part of the angst. He is married and has a child on the way and cheating on his wife. He's not a good guy but a selfish slob.
>>17331004
no. break it off for the right reasons, you want "easy" when what you really need is "right." you will never get out of your situation with easy, and you will find that on your own by not taking this advice
your main emotional support should be yourself. being dependent on others will never give you a rock solid foundation of self-confidence that everything will be okay. besides, nothing ever lasts in this world, what will you do then
