>>17325100

I don't know if I can properly answer this question as I do the exact same thing. Aside from maybe 2-3 people in my life, I don't really emotionally invest in others. But my childhood never really had stability. I moved around a lot, was a little weird (somewhat of a social outcast because I was a tomboy), had two close friends ditch me, and had to cut off family members because of abuse. In my case, I definitely would say it's a defense mechanism. It's something I'm working on though, and I'm trying to learn how to give people the benefit of the doubt if something goes wrong. Another big thing is that I don't really "let people in." I'm always the person others turn to for advice, because I had to grow up so quickly and I've made it through a long string of bad situations. But I never vent to others. I never talk about my own problems because they seem way out there, and more severe, than the problems of others. Not that talking about it would help anyway, I tend to solve stuff on my own after reflecting. But when you don't allow yourself to be vulnerable, you have a permanent wall around you. You're guarded. People can find that intimidating and most aren't interested in breaking it down.

>>17325100
You're not in tune with your emotions or you're completely disconnected from them. If you take an MMPI test I bet you're most likely a really strong T(hinking) type personality. Do you have any empathy at all towards them or are you just indifferent?

Completely cutting someone off that has emotionally invested in you, with little to no warning, is a cruel thing to do. If you were close with them then the least you can do is communicate with them.

How do you know that you just suck and the people only pretended to be you're friend and we're relieved when you never talked to them again?

>>17325131
>with little to no warning
oh no no, i don't do it like that. Its like if i have a big fight with someone or if they betray me in some way, I can break things off and not really think about them again. My one and only break up wound up like that, I thought I'd be emotionally devastated but I couldn't careless, she would keep calling me and texting me trying to get my attention but I completely tuned her out, besides she had a new boyfriend to fool around with and I didn't want any part in "lets just be friends" cause everyone knows that bs.

>>17325116
>I tend to solve stuff on my own after reflecting
You described my emotional behaviors so accurately its almost creepy. I really feel everything you're saying here. I was never abused or anything, I had nice parents and great siblings, I just became kind of numb i guess? Not sure if thats the right word, but once I was like 17 I took it upon myself to keep my problems to myself and solve them as best I could after deep thought. I'm still a really charismatic guy and fun to be around, I make jokes and people really seem to enjoy my company and want to spend time with me, but I honestly have no interest in it. Invested relationships are just too draining for me despite how much I slightly want them

>>17325131

Cruel is a strong word. I'm similar to OP and I can assure you that it's not something that's done out of malice or disregard for them, at least that's how it is for me.

The easiest way I can explain it is very low self worth. Maybe I'm just projecting, but valuing myself very little has led me to believe that others view me the same way, and thus don't actually care about me and don't mind when I leave their lives. It's easy to cut people out when you don't believe your relationship has much foundation to begin with. No matter how long or how well you seem to know someone, if you don't *feel* the connection it always feels shallow and superfluous.

When you don't feel like you matter to people, cutting them out of your life feels like you're doing them a favor, not hurting them.

>>17325138
I am really charismatic and a lot of people are drawn to me for that, sometimes it draws unwanted competition but I can deal. I don't compare myself to others, i'm just really caught up in my own world i guess.

>>17325145
>if you don't *feel* the connection it always feels shallow and superfluous.
this is how i behave exactly. If i'm not feeling it anymore, I leave as gracefully as I can.

>>17325149
There's nothing wrong with leaving gracefully. The way you phrased the OP I thought that you were just dropping people off without any explanation.

>>17325131
oh and last time i took that test i got INTP

>>17325145
>When you don't feel like you matter to people, cutting them out of your life feels like you're doing them a favor, not hurting them.

>>17325116 here, and I completely agree with this. Low self-worth, which can come about from any number of things, seems to be the main issue for many people. I've only started to recover in my late 20s after trying to like who I am and becoming someone I'd want to be friends with.

>>17325186
I don't really think that lowly of myself, i just don't really get too emotionally attached to anyone outside of immediate family and some close friends.