Quickly, if my girlfriend hasn't had the urge to have sex with me in months is the relationship doomed?
She says it's not me, we've been living together for 2 years, we're 20 years old.
>we've been living together for 2 years, we're 20 years old.
Oh, christ. I'd love to hear more about your series of bad life decisions.
The answer is yes, that's a bad sign.
There's a variety of reasons what could be causing this from hormones to work/study stress. Or she's growing tired of you. It could be anything. We can't really help, you have to sit down with her and have a proper conversation about it. See if there's something bothering her, talk about how your relationship is faring and if there's nothing "wrong" really, then make plans how you could improve your sex life. Maybe a romantic date and sex after that? Have you been paying enough attention to each other? For many women sex alone isn't often 'enough', they like to get romanced before and sex is just something that strenghtens their relationship with their partner.
>>17322341
I'd have to send you a 300 page hard cover copy of the book "Where i went wrong" by Matthew
A bad sign, no chance of recovering from this?
>>17322352
I talk to her about it every few months because we really haven't had sex besides the start.
She says it's not me and she just doesn't have the urge. But is there any other reason for that besides a lack of attraction?
>>17322366
yes, she's crushing on another guy
>>17322374
If that were it at least I'd understand, but besides going to work she's always here sitting on the couch
>>17322389
the guy is at her work or she met him through work. where most of these crushes happen
>>17322409
Ok, well it's not like i follow her to work so I can't keep saying you're wrong. Guess time will tell
>>17322389
>she's always here sitting on the couch
Does she take care of herself in general? If she's saying it's her not you, it could be that she's depressed or feels insecure about her body and herself. If she's feeling bad in general, it would be no surprise that sex doesn't interest her either.
>>17322417
Yeah she's a skinny girl, works at a barn so she's doing really well.
The topic makes her cry every time I mention it so how do I go about figuring it out
>>17322334
It's a sign of fading attraction.
Have you both become complacent in the relationship? Do you go on dates anymore, etc?
>>17322444
>makes her cry
congrats you're a father
>>17322472
or were...
>>17322463
The contrary really, but no we haven't been on a while, last time i took her out and dropped a hundred bucks it didn't make sparks fly.
>>17322472
>>17322476
I like you
Sounds like she had something that really bothered her.
The truth is, it sounds like something you did that she doesn't like.
The ol' "it wasn't you, it's me" trick is a double edged knife.
She's not cheating on you, she's not interested in other people; but she definitely doesn't want to have sex with you.
Straight up ask what you did to make her so uninterested in you. Tell her it's something you'd like because it's part of a healthy happy relationship.
If she doesn't comply to work on it, or if you can't handle a relationship with no sex, it's time to move out buddy.
Best of luck, cheers!
>>17322334
does she take birth control?
how frequent was sex when you first started dating? did you always initiate? did she?
why the fuck did you move in together at 18?
how long have you guys been together?
do you not take care of yourself?
what does she say when you speak about the lack of intimacy in the relationship? only bring up this sort of conversation in a non-sexual time/setting. you don't want to initiate sex, get turned down, and then bring it up. talk it about it during a lazy weekend over lunch or something.
>>17322334
>shacking up
>>17322334
This is what your marriage will be like. DTMFA.
>>17322334
>is the relationship doomed?
Not necessarily, but something is very wrong. This might be something that has nothing to do with the relationship per se -health, work/school stress, etc.- though the lack of communication is a problem in its own right. But it could be a more direct problem as well.
You need to talk with her about it. Start with "Are you all right? I notice you've been a lot more worn-out lately" or something like that. You may find your explanation there.
If not, move on to "Are we all right? I've been noticing what seems to be some trouble with communication and intimacy, and I want to make sure things are okay between us" or similar.
And brace for potential impact. It probably isn't cheating: certainly the odds are not nearly as high as the redpillers here make it sound. But it could be.
