I'm currently attending highschool in germany, it's called "Abitur" there. So basically I'm in 12th grade right now. And, well, I didn't thought I would talk about this but I guess I have to at this point.
In my major course, called GMT, it's an art thingy designing course, I've got this teacher, right. Basically he's a good teacher and a nice guy too, always caring for his students and wants them to actually learn something from him (unlike most other teachers here).
You see, I'm kind of a loner. I never really integrated into this school and all my friends live elsewhere, either abroad or other towns. I'm attending to this school for about 2 years now and I only see a friendly face every so often. A lot of the other students just don't fit well with me. It's not like I'm getting bullied, I just don't have friends there.
So in a nutshell, I'm desperate for some company.
Anyway, this teacher, to put it bluntly, just spends too much time with me. He tries to motivate, or anyone for that matter, to give their best at school, even if it means getting to be friends his students. The way he talks and gesticulates is so youthful and open. One could say he's a bro. Well, he would be one if he wouldn't be like 45 years old.
We talked about some stuff at some point and it turns out that we share the same taste in a lot of things.
A lot more talking happend, all sorts of things, but one thing I must call out:
Just yesterday he came to talk to me after class. Somehow he figured out how I felt about the other students and other things as well. He just hit the mark perfectly. It was outright creepy at first. But then, well, I felt ashamed.
Truth be told, I not so long ago I imagined [spoiler] him pounding me after class in his office. [/spoiler] Yeah, I'm "that" kid. Thing is, I don't find him to be that attractive though, being "a little too old" for me.
But right now, I feel like I fell for him, yet I know this will never work out, and it's crushing me.
Any advice?
>>17310726
Do not do it. A 45 year old man has nothing in common with a high schooler, and you will regret it in the end after he gets tired of you and both of your reputations are ruined when the story gets out. Stay friends. Do not engage in any romantic activity. It does not matter if you have the same taste in music or activities, you simply do not have anything deeper than that in common. Take it from a 21 year old who had a 19 year old gf cheat on me with a 50 year old she started to fancy and then got cheated on in return because, big surprise, they had nothing in common and a girl that age is easily manipulated into believing they are right for each other, and all he wanted was pussy. You will 100% regret it within less than a year, if it even lasts that long. Once the story gets out, it will be very hard to get a boyfriend because the entire area around you will be very aware of what you've done and will avoid a relationship with you because of it. Just don't do it. Keep the teacher as a role model, not a boyfriend.
>>17310726
You are just confused. You are going through a time where your hormones are going crazy and you have worries about the future, just like any other high schooler. As much as you may have felt it, you did not fall in love with him. You are just lonely as you said, and what you experienced is infatuation. Just keep your distance and do not give him any more info about how you think you felt. You never know what kind of man this is, as much as you think you might know him. It is not worth it.
>>17310726
>a little too old
Try a LOT too old. Never will understand why young girls can't just stick to guys within 8 years of them, there are so many to choose from and any man older than 26 that believes a 12th grader is fuckable without shame has a mental disorder. Just go out and meet guys your age, age is not just a number. It is the difference between a guy genuinely wanting to KNOW how you feel and learn WITH YOU in order to understand you better vs a man having experience with women for so long that he can "read your mind" essentially and come up with the perfect soppy conversation to make you fall for him just so you will suck his dick. No man that old would be worth it in the long run. I cannot MAKE you not think about him that way, but let me assure you, many women have talked to me about the same problem because it is natural for women your age to think about that stuff because of your puberty. You begin to want a provider and so men that old begin to become attractive to you. It is completely understandable. But it is up to you whether or not you can distinguish fantasy from reality. A relationship with a man that much older will never turn out good in the long run, as men that old have grown tired of younger women's personalities and only look to them for better sex at that point. Men your age will be able to connect with you on a much deeper level and won't leave you with regret and disgust for yourself when you end it and realize "i just made out with/fucked a man as old as my dad." Good luck.
