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Anonymous
I'm turning into a huge asshole
2016-06-30 08:58:55 Post No. 17309084
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I'm turning into a huge asshole
Anonymous
2016-06-30 08:58:55
Post No. 17309084
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How do I keep myself from turning into a huge fucking bully? As a preface I'm diagnosed with Bipolar, so maybe it's my meds not doing their job, but let me explain.
Lately I've been feeling the urge to be an absolute shithead to people. Bullying, degrading, pushing around, things like that. I never get the urge to be physically violent, but I just can't keep shaking the urge to tell people to shut up or that they're annoying and worthless. Verbal abuse kind of things.
I got in an argument with my S.O's younger sibling and ended up verbally destroying them in the process. I apologized, but in the end I couldn't help but feel a wave of satisfaction anyway. I wanted to keep doing it, make them feel horrible for just existing.
It's sick and wrong, I'm well aware of it, thus why I try to hold my tongue and calm my nerves, but the urge still scratches in the back of my head like an angry cat.
What do? It's starting to get to a point where I'm itching to yell at someone, anyone for the smallest transgression. Should I just talk to my doc? I don't want to fuck up my relationships because of this.
Also, I've never had anger problems before. Even before I was medicated I was incredibly calm and almost apathetic to everything negative that affected me.
