I pretty much spend my time looking after my family because most of them are retarded. I say most, not all. My mother has cancer and is bipolar and an alcoholic because of those things, so she isn't retarded she needs actual help. She also keeps inviting this guy to live with her who treats her like shit, she does this because she's lonely. He got arrested a couple times, once for being aggressive and the other cause he beat my mum up, while she was going through chemotherapy. He's a cunt and he's not meant to go near her by law but I literally cannot stop her, she'll invite him over regularly out of lonelines and cause she feels she depends on his company, all in secret ofcourse. She think's I'm stupid but it's obvious.
My brother is autistic and a pain the fucking ass who lives with me and wont look after himself. Emphesis on wont, not cant. He keeps saying he'll move out but he really wont, he sits on the sofa all day after quitting his job last year because he couldn't cope with it and smokes weed and drops all litter around him. The sofa looks like a landfill site, im not exaggerating. We inherited money from our dad after he died of cancer last January. 2 seperate payments of 10k each to me, my brother and sister. The payments were about 5 months apart, my brother spent all of the first payment before the second payment came in and we got the second payment about 4 months ago, he's nearly spent that now too. So he spent £20k in about less than half a year on vacations, weed and junk and take out food because he wont cook. I used to cook for him but I'm just fed up of it now because he wont pitch in or help clean up so I was pretty much feeding him like a parent.
Then theres my uncle who is a big baby and has been slowly starving himself because he refuses to eat anything out of sheer laziness because my nan spoiled him rotten, he lived at home with her up until she died and now he lives in a small apartment in the rough part of town and is pretty much slowly wasting away, all because he wont eat anything other than my nans cooking. He's not retarded or anything just a stubborn baby. The other day he asked if I'd come stay with him over the weekend and feed him because he keeps blacking out and fainting from not eating and badly injuring himself from the falls. He makes up all these excuses but it's literally all down to the fact he just wont cook. He asks to stay at my place sometimes and I let him, one time I cooked him bread dipped in beaten egg then fried, a very high calorie meal and he ate most of that, then later in the evening my brother got a KFC and my uncle ate some of that too. So it's literally just that he wont feed himself.
And lastly my grandad who I visit to keep company, he's good he doesn't do anything wrong but I think he gets real lonely now my nan is dead. He threw my uncle out not long after she died because my uncle would try to steal money and just smoked weed in his room all day so nobody blames him and everyone saw it coming. He gets on mostly just fine by himself, he needs help paying his bills (as in he needs me to do it for him, he doesn't know how. He pays, I just do it for him.) and making phonecalls is difficult for him as he has a thick irish accent and gets frustrated when people cant understand him. His social skills are a little crap but he's a good man, he gets on just fine but I feel so badly for him being lonely.
Another thing, just for some more context, as I said my dad died of cancer January 2015, just under a year after my nan died of cancer. She was my maternal nan and was the 'head' of our whole family pretty much. She helped with everyone and everything, but after my mum had a terrible bi-polar episode in 2012 I think it just got too much for her. My dad came round and told me and my brother he had cancer the day after my nan's funeral. We were all blindly optimistic that he'd recover because he was younger and we found it earlier than my nan did. But that wasn't the case. Losing them both has been horrificly painful.
So now I'm here, stuck jobless on welfare, trying to sort my own life out while dealing with the personal aftermath of the deaths in my family. I'm not over it, and I don't think I ever will be, but I believe im at a point now where I can move on and get on with life. The only thing holding me back is everything I pointed out about the rest of my family. I'm the only sensible one left and the rest are helpless on their own. My sister is of the same mindset as me and probably the only other sensible one but she lives a good 2-3 hour drive away and has a family of her own to look out for. I struggle dealing with it all and whats worse is when I have nobody to turn to when things get tough. It's literally just me, on my own, dealing with all what you read above.
I just want my own life.
>>17306641
Hang in there, OP.
If it's really about your mom, get your own place and have her stay with you. If she doesn't want to because of the abuser, then what can you really do, ya know? (aside from waiting until you know he is around and calling the cops)
If your brother had access to his funds, then he is clearly not incompetent, just a lazy fuck. Having your own place will rid you of that lifestyle.
She's also a heavy weed smoker and I wouldn't feel comfortable living with her. I love her to death and want to help her, but I cant live with her. I gave up smoking weed a few months ago and its bad living with my brother and his smoking, moving her in with me would just make things the same. My sister has suggested to me moving my mum up to her part of the country, but I dunno if mum would go for that. If she would, it'd be a tremendous change for her as my sister would have no problems looking after her and cooking for her. My sister takes after my nan in a sort of mother hen way.
Hey man, the actual infliction your mom has is borderline personality disorder.
I have to take care of my sad, desperate, lonely parents too- and even if they're miserable and you hate them, there will always be gain in the end.
>>17306711
I feel for you, that must be a terrible struggle.
I think she is legit bi-polar though. It occured after she had a hysterectomy which changed her completely. Theres a history of the women in my mums family suffering from bi-polar. Several have had nervous breakdowns or bad episodes where they've just abandoned all their responsibilities and walked out and done crazy shit.
