I have a step-father who is difficult to deal with to say the least. He has major anger and trust issues coupled with high-blood pressure which cause him fly off the handle and berate anyone that makes a mistake or he believes has lied to him. His mood swings make me believe he may have bi-polar disorder, but I don't know. He also has paranoia and constantly tries to catch people in a lie, when most of the time it's a misunderstanding.
Some of the things he's said in anger or distrust can be very upsetting, such as, "Someone could just come in and murder you and your brother" in response to forgetting to lock the door on occasion. (We don't live in a bad area, but I can somewhat see his point.) Also, "Stop being a goddamned pussy" when I am trying, but unable to start up the lawnmower and "You're the reason for our divorce" to me after an argument with my mother.
He has constantly tried to get me kicked out because he feels like I don't do enough around the house and don't have a job. I use my SSI check to help pay bills and food and yet he has been unemployed for over a year
When I talk to my mother she just says you've just have to not let him get to you. It's very difficult to do that when he does things like, making fun of the way I studder when nervous.
Is there anything I could do other than, "just deal with it"?
>>17304909
it just sounds like tough love to be honest, at the very least i would say borderline personality, bipolar is extreme happiness to extreme saddness so no
>>17304909
He just sounds like an asshole in general, I'm sorry about your situation. The only thing I could think is moving out to live with a but that sounds difficult with your situation, and it doesn't sound like your mother is open to kicking him out.
Mentality wise I'd try to just keep in mind that you're better than he is because you don't need to be a prick to people to feel better about yourself. I know that's difficult especially in the moment but you have to remember that.
Hope things get better for you anon, know what it's like to have someone like that in your home.
>>17304920
>tough love
>"you're the reason for our divorce"
what the fuck.
OP on that note are he and your mother divorced or something?
>>17304964
No. He said that one time during one of his tantrums and got into an argument with my mom when she caught him berating me for forgetting to empty the dishwasher. She says we should give him a chance to change since a "Good, Christian family should stay together", but he has made no effort other than get some medication. No anger management, No psychiatrist, nothing. Right now it's nothing but a cycle of anger episodes over trivial crap, him thinking everyone is working against him, an occasional half-hearted apology, rinse, repeat. He makes sure he does most of the yard work and building/fixing things when needed just to make himself feel superior to the rest of my family. He seems like a pretty cool and happy guy, until you make a mistake or he suspects you may be lying to him about something. He does some mental gymnastics to make sure he's right and you're a dirty liar who's worse than a murdering, rapist, pedophile.
>>17305057
Beat the fucking shit out of him.
Don't actually do that, please -- it's horrible advice -- but damn I want you to.
>>17304909
My father is the same way. He served in the army so my mom just blames ptsd for the way he is. But he's made everyone in our house feel like complete shit one time or another (and rather frequently). Especially me because i'm, admittedly, the most rebellious of our household. I refuse to let him oppress me and intentionally irritate as revenge. But rather recently i realized that having revenge and negativity in my spirit isn't good, it makes me no better than him and it effects my mind and mood also. So what i've started doing whenever he hurts my feelings is writing what happened or my feelings down to get it out of my mind, balling the piece of paper up, throwing it away, calming and saying out loud, as if i'm saying it to him, "i forgive you" or "i know you're just upset and you didn't mean to yell/throw that/say that". Then i feel better and the bad feelings are gone. Practice forgiveness, the only thing that's key to keeping your feelings unharmed is keeping your inner peace. Try what i've said or find out what works for you. Hope this helps.
