I was diagnosed as autistic and was fat, but I just lost the weight and I felt a ton better, was more willing to call friend(s), felt a lot better in public. I'd start with that? And I've heard/read in places that exercise helps ease depression a little as well.
For starters, try walking around the neighborhood listening to music. My mother forced me to walk with her for an hour the first few times, but then I started relying on it every day for relaxation, and I just like music, so it's entertaining.
And a person that makes you go outside and practice social skills is called a friend, so make one... Easier said than done, yeah. Do you have any you could call to hang out with?

>>17290681

i've never had any friends so no, not really an option. but yeah i figured the exercise thing would probably be the biggest help, its just really hard when you can't leave the house or self-motivate to do basically anything, thats why i was looking for external pressures

>>17290650
Get in shape, take up yoga, and autofellate yourself. No better motivator than the prospect of getting your dick sucked.

>>17290727

....i-i don't even have a dick ;__;

but 3/10 made me half smile

>>17290738
Sounds like you know what to do with all that money, then.

I'm going to Thailand in August. You can tag along if you're so inclined. I'll take you along everywhere, show you how to be social and sociable.

Let me know if you're interested.

>>17290650
Lose weight, get fit
Get into fashion and looking nicer overall
Get a hobby, music and art are really good. Games are fine but they can make you feel even more depressed
Fall in love, it helps as long as you aren't outright rejected
Really just do things that make you feel a little more confident about yourself slowly, things that make you thinl "the average person either can't do this or wants to do this but can't"

>>17290755
All things considered it sounds like OP is lacking friends and self-control (bad eating habits, lacking concern for well-being). Very clearly an intelligent individual who realizes they have faults and merely doesn't understand what the answer(s) they need could possibly be.

Grasping at straws is all they did to solve their perceived problem. "Need" could be swapped for "want" here, yet to see what is actually wrong. A friend who appreciates who you are tends to get people to steer away from self-loathing, as parents usually have a more difficult time getting that across.

>>17290741

lmao i don't particularly want one but i'll keep that option in mind

>>17290746

hmmm.... i mean while being (socially) able to travel is a big one of my goals, i'm not sure doing it with a stranger from 4chan would be the very best idea? i mean its tempting, but the most likely outcomes are just you finding me insufferable and ditching after a few hours/days, or me getting murdered. maybe i'm just a pessimist...

>>17290755

...yes, those are all things i want. the problem is that i don't seem to be able to take the requisite steps to do them. did you even read the op?

anyways i'm going to go pass out, hopefully this thread doesn't die overnight

>>17290780

Well, that's always possible. Also, didn't see you were female. Probably not the best idea.

Cheers.

alright I'm awake again, bump

>>17290775

...not exactly sure what the suggestion is here, i'd certainly like to have friends, i'm just not sure how i get to that point.

>>17290650
>it's another "I'm a fat NEET. I love being a NEET but how do I become a non-NEET (just kidding I want to stay a fat NEET)" episode

Guy don't even bother with this thread. These losers never take our advice anyway---they just want attention.

>>17291789

....i actually hate being a neet, and have tried a great deal of things to stop, but ok. if your "advice" is the bootstraps-levitation thing, then yes, people are probably going to have trouble with that. but nice neurotypical rationalization, my dude.

>>17291785
I had already given you my advice by then. You already realize a friend would benefit you. Anything else you might benefit from is to not waste your money on self-help nonsense and not have penis envy. One of those you seem just fine in..

Other anon isn't all wrong, in that it's fairly difficult to give someone advice they're already looking to hear and both parties expecting them to adhere to it.

You have to admit you didn't sound convinced when you woke this thread up. Everyone may have told you exactly what you expected and wanted to have been said, but here we are.

So how fat are you if you're having difficulty motivating yourself? Is the idea of how long it'll take what truly gets you down?

>>17291843

>I had already given you my advice by then. You already realize a friend would benefit you. Anything else you might benefit from is to not waste your money on self-help nonsense and not have penis envy. One of those you seem just fine in..

ok but "make friends" "lose weight" etc. is not what this post is asking for, those are things i realize i need to do and have been failing to do so far, its not helpful to just keep repeating "make friends" when someone asks "i have severe autism and no idea how to communicate with other human beings, HOW do i make friends". etc etc.

i don't want to "waste my money", but i seem unable to do this on my own and everything that has been recommended me by doctors has failed so far

>Other anon isn't all wrong, in that it's fairly difficult to give someone advice they're already looking to hear and both parties expecting them to adhere to it.

again, nothing so far has been actual advice pertaining to my actual problem, its just been repeating my goals back at me.

>You have to admit you didn't sound convinced when you woke this thread up. Everyone may have told you exactly what you expected and wanted to have been said, but here we are.

.....? i mean i did not have very high expectations for this thread, so i guess it was approximately what i "expected", but no, it is not what i wanted. i asked a fairly specific question on what someone should do, if they had unlimited money but essentially no willpower or social skills, to better themselves, and i got nothing pertaining to 'means', only repeated 'ends'.

>So how fat are you if you're having difficulty motivating yourself? Is the idea of how long it'll take what truly gets you down?

bmi is like 33 at this point, so moderatly fat. i dont think that is entirely whats causing the complete lack of will, thats probably mostly on the 'crippling depression', but its certainly a contributing factor.

(1/2), maybe

>>17291843
>>17291974

(2/2)

the idea of how long it will take certainly doesn't help, but its mostly just the fact that 'in the moment' i can never seem to turn my brain off, i just keep thinking about how "nothing really matters anyways" and i "might as well just feel good for the short meaningless time i have on this earth", "i won't be able to keep up with this, i'm a lost cause", "this won't matter anyways because of all of my other problems", "i can't go outside anyways because i'm disgusting and i'll be harming other people by making them look at me", etc.

its hard to really describe and communicate the severity of this to someone who hasn't experienced it to this intensity, but it just takes over everything and ends up making me feel worse every time i try. i feel like this is probably just going to be dismissed as me "not wanting it bad enough", and i doubt there's anything i can do to change that belief. maybe i am just fucked, idk. i just keep holding onto hope that there might be someway out of this, but that seems increasingly unlikely.

>>17291974
I think the general consensus was to explore your interests/hobbies in a way that involved other individuals. This way, one of these people may be referred to as "friend" and perhaps assist you even if all they do is cheer you on in the background. Loosely derived from the admittedly nothing that was said. Craft/workout classes are pretty normal environments. Spend your money there. Volunteer at children's museums or similar places.

>no idea how to communicate

What's your basis for this? The point is to not overly put yourself down when you seem perfectly coherent in the now.

>>17292002

You're probably not fucked, and I doubt your problem lies in how badly you want to do squats and push ups 30 minutes a day. Just don't forget to try it before you give up. Already mentioned you're intelligent or just highly self-aware, realize your own worth for once. Have better eating habits and expect no immediate results.

>>17292232

>What's your basis for this?

i have literally never had a friend, that is not an exaggeration. i can't remember ever having a meaningful conversation with another human irl. i don't know how to make eye contact. i haven't spoken to anyone in person besides my mom/doctors in actual years at this point. i literally do not know how to communicate with other human beings, i just answer questions with as few words as possible when asked, that is the entirety of my interaction with others.

i can't seem to communicate even this simple fact, so idk.

i'm not going to show up to random classes as an obese shifty looking autist, and i don't think i'd even be able to psychologically do that at this point.

i thought this thread might be fun, the premise of "unlimited money" could inspire some creativity, but it mostly just seems to be neurotypicals who genuinely don't understand how mental illness works, so i guess not.

just buy some liposuction

>>17293900

that would probably just leave me feeling worse, and then i'd probably eat my feelings, and then i'd probably be fat again. also doesn't fix any of the fundamental issues at hand.

Just accept being a NEET and give up. People are great at adapting to any situation, so once you stop resisting, you will eventually come to tolerate your life. You have lots of money too so you can even live for a while before you run out and have to an hero.

>>17291974
Nothing.. NOTHING can be accomplished without willpower you could have access to all the money in the world, and it wouldn't fix you. You need to be HUNGRY for change, you need to want it with every fiber of your being. Otherwise you have no hope. I had severe clinical depression that i still struggle with even to this day, not a day goes by that i don't contemplate suicide, but do you know what? I want to live, i want ti struggle, meaninglessly pointlessly no matter how futile it all is. Because the moment you stop struggling with life, is the moment you've already died.

>>17295043

no, you fucking asshole. I don't even enjoy this lifestyle. And I wouldn't be limited by "awhile", I could live hundreds of years off of this and still have plenty, it just wouldn't be worth living.

>>17295065

Ty mr. norman for more of the predicted "you just don't want it bad enough" speech. Oh wise one, please enlighten me as to what exact region of your ass you can pull willpower out of without having ever had any in your life. It is truly impressive that you got out of your "severe" ""depression"" through sheer power of will, because severely depressed people generally do not have that at all. This mostly seems like a post hoc rationalization by a neurotypical who was maybe sad for a few weeks, and now wants to feel fundamentally better than all of those lazy neets who just didn't want it badly enough.

sorry if this was too harsh, I just woke up and this has put me in an extra shitty mood.

>>17290650
>i've tried every class of antidepressants, anxiolytics
Did you try weed?
No? Do that.

OP ru cute??

>>17295477

how exactly do you expect someone who cannot go outside or talk to people to get weed? i mean i'd like to try it, but it is very illegal here and i feel like i'm too autistic to acquire it without getting arrested. is the silk road even safe at this point or nah?

>>17295515

i mean i have decent facial aesthetics, its just killed by all the fat/bad hair/autism/etc.

so i guess not

bump, just to keep thread from dying

>>17296753

Go away fatso, you don't want it enough

Hi Sandra

>>17296756
go away normie, you don't understand how mental illness works. go buy yourself some empathy.

oh wait, you can't afford it :/

>>17296760

....that is not even close to my name, sorry dude

>>17296766

How does it feel knowing that you will always be that creepy recluse that girls giggle about?

>>17296777

I don't go outside or see other girls literally ever so I don't really care. Once you've been out of society for this long you generally lose the ability to give a shit about that kind of stuff.

>>17296791

But you do care, otherwise you would not have made this thread

>>17296797

....no? I care about bettering myself and being a human being who can actually go outside and accomplish things, and not spending my entire life inside as a catatonically depressed sack of shit. It's about my own quality of life. If I cared about people's opinions I wouldn't have become a hikiki in the first place.

do you genuinely not get how this works or?

one last bump in case, by some miracle, someone has some actual original advice overnight

rip in pieces

>>17290650
Be honest with yourself, anon. Are do you really have autism? Were you diagnosed by a medical or psychological professional; or did you self-diagnose, because anyone that is quirky now has autism today?

This anon >>17295065 is right. However, you obviously have some will. You have a desire to change, and you know what needs to be done to achieve that change, but I think you lack the will to do the things that will make you change. This isn't an RPG. You can't just buy the skills you need to "level up." Have you communicated this desire to change with your family or doctors? Someone should know your plans. You need the support so you don't give up.

>>17291797
>>17292982
>>17295329
>neurotypical
>neurotypicals
>a neurotypical
>a
>neurotypical

You certainly sound spiteful, to be using that as a casual pejorative. I know why you're frustrated – I might not understand, but I know: you feel completely and totally isolated. All attempts to communicate with other people either fail or are so surface-level as to be meaningless. Despite knowing what you want, however vague, despite even being able to see it, it feels like there's an invisible maze between the two of you, and you can't even find the entrance. You're lost, confused, and possibly scared, if not of your immediate failings, then of what future they represent. You resent yourself: you resent the gap between the idealized self that's "obviously lingering within you" and what you are now. You don't respect yourself, because from your eyes, there isn't anything to respect. If anything, all that's there exists to be disrespected, not just by you, but by what you think is society at large.

I don't have the answers, so I'm not going to try giving you some vague advice that'll be the magic ticket to fixing your problems. All I'll say this this: You're externalizing that spite, that resent. However you feel about yourself, you're taking those very same emotions, and radiating them to those around you, twisting, and recontextualizing them to fit.

Stop. You hate yourself; therefore you hate other people. You might try to frame these views as being "realistic," but they're deeply, deeply negative, and it's only placing further barriers between you and what you want. Start being aware of that, and start giving yourself reasons to loosen its hold on you.

>>17296837

If you would be able to use even a margin of the willpower you're putting in telling people off, then you'd be going places. Instead you sit in here, hounding anyone that doesn't agree with your fat, smelly autistic views on the world

>>17299294

i was professionally diagnosed by a harvard doctor, so by their definition at least i do. i don't personally think its anything i was actually born with, i think its just the result of the really shitty childhood+ complete lack of practice, but whatever.

>>17299338

i'm not sure i would count "desire to change" as "will". i've obviously communicated my desire to get better with my doctor, but she thinks the only solution is antidepressants or ect and we "just need to keep trying until we find one that works". my mother is all i really have in the way of family, and she's not very supportive, to say the least.

>>17299451

i'm not using it as a "casual pejorative", i'm pointing out why they cannot empathize.

i don't have the will power to do literally any of the things i actually want to do, never mind things i don't even particularly care about doing, such as being more charitable to people who don't give a shit about me and treat me like garbage.

>"Stop."

and this is why "neurotypical" is a useful discriptor, you genuinely do not understand how any of this works. thats not how depressed brains work. you don't flip a switch and start being a positive person. I am perfectly well aware that depression gives you an inherent negative bias to basically everything, i am well aware that i hate myself, those are two of the basic fucking symptoms of this disorder. jesus christ, i hate this board.

>>17299461

"telling people off" is not willpower, its correcting the obvious bullshit that gets posted at me, its pretty hard not to do, i get "triggered" pretty easily.

> Instead you sit in here, hounding anyone that doesn't agree with your fat, smelly autistic views on the world

no, again, they hound me for not being neurotypical and "bootstrapping my way out of it", and i answer.

and nice ad hominems and strawwomen, they really help further your point.

>>17299517

They disagree with you because you're too autistic to take their advice. There is no level up you can just buy. You need to work with yourself and search yourself in order to find the motivation to change. Without said motivation your life will never change in the direction you want it to man, I'm really not trying to be mean to you, it's just frustrating to see that you refuse to take advice.

there is no actual advice, that is the point. they just repeating the goals that i already have, and not means to actually achieve and get to them. repeating "lose weight" 200 times to someone who does not have the will to get out of bed or do literally anything most of the time is not helpful.

"search yourself" is another empty fucking statement, you yourself do not even know what that means.

i have not "refused" to take any actual advice pertaining to my actual problem, because, again, there has not actually been any yet.

>>17299537

You're a lost cause. Enjoy being miserable for the rest of your life.

>>17299541

cool thanks

>>17299517
I have never heard of "developing" autism due to childhood trauma nor lack of socialability. Perhaps some kind of personality disorder but not an ASD.

This is why the definition covers too much now.

I read something about Siri helping someone with autism help practice talking to people. You could try something like that.

>>17299946

no, i know autism is supposed to be an "at birth" condition, i meant that i'm doubtful i actually have it. i don't think if i had been adopted into a healthy social environment or something that i would be like this, but i'm so socially stunted at this point that it's basically indistinguishable from the real thing, at least to doctors.

and....i can talk to siri (although its usually easier just to google shit), i just can't talk to other human beings. maybe they meant for mostly non-verbal autism, the physical act of talking would help? idk

>>17290650
Up your T levels. Either with supplements or by changing your diet.

What kind of social issues do you have exactly? Is it stuff like facial expressions or maybe how to initiate a conversation? Because you can find lots of information and tips on the internet ^^

>>17300341

......i'm not male though? would that still help somehow? i don't want to "transition" or anything lel

>>17300404

i mean i can read basic facial expressions, but i have literally no idea how to have any sort of actual conversation. the thought of it actually terrifies me at this point, people terrify me, i really don't want to have to talk to them at all, but it seems like i can't have a fulfilling life without doing that at least occasionally, at this point. i'd like to just skip to the stage where i could be in a comfortable relationship with someone, but even then i'm not sure i'd know how to handle that, because i've never had one with anybody. idk, i'm not even sure how to explain it anymore, i just have no social skills whatsoever.

>>17300582
No one knows how to handle their first relationship. I was in my late 20s before my first one. I am very socially inept.

>>17301123

i should probably clarify, by "relationship" i meant "any kind of friendship whatsoever". i mean romantic relationships would eventually be a concern, but i don't know how i can even get to that point from here. having at least a "friend" should probably come first, and i still have no idea how to make that happen, so i can't imagine i'll have a boyfriend any time soon.

Christ, how old are you?

>>17291974
Heres how you do it senpai. Ask questions. People like people who are interested in what they have to say and will take interest in you if you show interest in them, plus it gives you material to go forward with and it makes them ththink you're sociable, friendly, and outgoing. Doesn't matter if they're boringg-most people are, in my experience. Which leads me to step two.

The entire time they're talking think of something you've experienced that might relate to what they share.. This is called an exchange. This is how people get to know you and deepens your interpersonal relationships.

Step three. Get out more. If someone invites you somewhere, GOOOOO. Step out of your comfort zone and try new things. Thats how you meet new people and discover things you didn't know you'd like.

Bonus tip. Put yourself in the mindset of thinking this stranger is a friend already and talk to them the way you would your other friends or your family even. Dont forget to smile and laugh at their dumb jokes.

Well, if you got money, you can start off with getting a gym membership, exercise plan and diet plan, and then stick to it (dunno about you, but when I spend money or something, I'm likely to make use of it, even if not fully. Obligations towards others make it better too, like if you hire a personal trainer, you'll feel obliged to see him every day you've got training with him). Your looks are probably part of a reason for being socially crippled. After you make that better, you should invest in yourself in some other way. The best would be some kind of course (cooking, some language?) in a small group, it'll give you an opportunity to talk to people and improve your social skills, while at the same time you'll be improving yourself in other ways as well.

>>17290746

i-i'm autistic and interested

where are we going senpai?

tfw you write out a full response, x out of the window, and have to rewrite it >.<

>>17302508

19, been a neet/hikikimori for 5 years now, before that i only went out for school.

>>17302539

i mean, i don't know how to start conversations, i don't know what questions to ask, and i'm terrified that whenever i open my mouth either 1. nothing or 2. incoherent nonsense will come out. i just don't even know how to begin learning these skills. i'm fine with listening to people blathering on about boring bullshit, its just that when its my "turn" i just sit there in awkward silence. i'm probably not even remembering all the things i do wrong honestly, its been a long time since i've even been near anyone irl.

no one ever 'invites' me anywhere and i don't have 'other friends' or family that i talk to, but i'll keep that in mind i guess.

>>17302978

the biggest problem would just be physically getting to the gym, which seems like an insurmountable task at this point. idk, i might just send myself to some kind of 'fat camp' type thing where i would be forced to exercise, but the social aspect of that terrifies me and it would be a lot of money to waste if it didn't work. but it seems like that might be my only option at this point, i'm too far gone to do it myself.

and yeah, the classes thing was my plan "once i get a little better", but idk if that'll even happen at this point

>>17303070

kek

>>17290650
i think you tried them incorrectly, you're supposed to read everything a self help book says not skim through it and expect to feel happy afterwards. depression is work and if youre lazy then good luck.

>>17290650

Write me an email senpai, I can help you for free, and even chat / skype with you for some extra money.

jimmyrustler42(at)gmail.com

>>17304459

>"severely depressed people are just lazy! if they really wanted to get better they could have just worked and read self help books harder"

fuck, i am far too tired for this thread

>>17305029

kek, i'll send you an email for the memes but i'm not paying a 4chan autist to skype with me