Is it cringey to try to get to contact to people you have wronged?
After some years?
Especially if they are personality development ages (15-25)?
For some reason, I can't connect to some people and neither can they, but on a more distant formal level they are nice.
Is there any other way to distance myself from them, but not becoming a total stranger?
>>17302417
>Is it cringey to try to get to contact to people you have wronged?
>After some years?
>Especially if they are personality development ages (15-25)?
Are now, or were then?
There is no universal answer to the question of whether or not it's cringey. Really, it depends partly on how you wronged them, and partly on how they would feel about interacting with you again. The latter is hard to know beforehand, but depending on what you did, it may be possible to make some safe assumptions.
I was bullied badly in middle school. I was recently contacted by an old classmate who I don't remember actually bullying me, but who was carrying a lot of guilt for being a bystander in those days. I can't say I think that was cringey. I was glad to be able to lift that weight off this person's shoulders. My hands aren't entirely clean either, and ever since this happened I've been thinking about contacting some of the people I owe apologies to. Not all of them -there's one that I think I can safely assume really would rather never interact with me again- but most.
>>17302448
Oh, middle school memories
Sadly, i was always negative towards bullying and showed that, but never did anything nice enough to the victim. Said some shit like "don't expose your weaknesses". Really believed in that advice that days.
I don't think there is any sense to try to contact classmates, because i managed to hide everything about my insecurities and human traits to avoid any humiliation. So they don't know me, they remember a complete stranger and kind of a dick.
The only classmate i would like to contact was emotionally abused by me by neglect every single time he contacted me or vice versa, so i reap what i saw.
And he didn't know anything about my personality too.
Well, how long it's appropriate to wait to contact him? Like when we are both 35?
How much do people change from what was at school? Some of them were legit evil schemers, i will never believe they grew int l someone nice.
>>17302417
>Is it cringey to try to get to contact to people you have wronged?
My Name Is Anon
>>17302417
Are you sure you want to contact them? Some people could hold really long grudges if they were bullied. What if they're plotting to beat you up the next time they see you?
>>17302893
never got involved in anything with anybody - loner.
My crush could have done that, but that'd be fair. It has been 2 years, who would give a shit, though
Literally everyone was a dickhead during their formative years.
Unless you proper fucked up someone's life, or you're in AA and it's part of your recovery, it's really not necessary.
>>17303084
>Unless you proper fucked up someone's life, or you're in AA and it's part of your recovery, it's really not necessary.
Or if you're carrying a lot of guilt (like the person who contacted me was). From my perspective, there wasn't really anything that required an apology: even back then I didn't hold anything against the bystanders, because I knew what happened to kids who stepped forward. But from this person's perspective, they needed forgiveness, or at least to ask for it: that was all they could do to make their peace with the memories. So I accepted the apology, and we talked a little bit about what happened, and life went on.
>>17302417
My ex and I had a pretty nasty and sudden breakup even though things were serious. She tried to contact me a few times and since that was my first long term relationship I just avoided her whenever possible.
Maybe 3 years after that I got her number from a friend and let her know what was up. We're on friendly terms now, although I never talk with her.
Still hits me that she has a kid.
