I'd like to explain the situation I'm in. Any advice on it would be appreciated.
I'm friends with a girl who I am not really attracted to. She did like me at one point, but I rejected her. Despite this, we did get pretty close. Anyway, now we are just friends. We both kind of keep to ourselves, as in we don't have any other friends much. Just acquaintances.
The problem is I just want to be alone. I don't like to go outside, I don't often talk to people. She makes me feel bad whenever I don't talk to her and, now that we are on summer vacation, she's bothering me to hang out and I just don't want to. It just makes me feel like a waste of a human being knowing she's waiting for a response or for me to do SOMETHING for once. I wish she'd just let me be my pathetic self and be alone.
What would you do in my situation? Should I try to change myself for my own sake? I don't think I'll ever really enjoy being out with people. I've tried to like it, I really did. But it's more more comfortable and safe to be alone. I'm always stressed when I'm out and about.
Thanks for any advice.
Trying to change yourself is the solution but the difficult that carries you cannot even imagine.
Welcome to Hell im stuck trying to change my negative thoughts and insecurityies for about 3 months (well in fact i was like 15 years without noticing what was happening)
Advice from a guy who's been there:
#1. Stop eating fucking garbage (sugar, soy, wheat, other toxic bullshit)
#2. Stop habitually masturbating. Its NOT helping your social anxiety and your lack of motivation.
#3. Engage in light training every day and work your way up (push-ups, squats, etc.), they help a lot.
#4. Understand that one day you are going to fucking die. Knowing this, REFUSE to die an unlived life.
Tell her what's good, let her know how you feel.
Not trying to be a dick because BELIEVE ME I've been where you are.
And yes, the change is worth it. Every second of it.
You should try to hang out more, as isolating yourself socially just begets more social isolation.
When you're at your worst though, just explain to her what's wrong. You're doing bad mentally this week and need some alone time. Easy as that.
>>17292661
Yeah, I think it's for the best too. I'll be more of a decent human being that way. I'm just not sure I can. I'm already 28 years old now. She is as well.
>>17292680
I do try to not eat so much of that stuff while I'm away at university. My parents love fast food though. Guess I shouldn't spend summer vacation with them.
I'm actually masturbating a lot less now. Like I said, I'm 28 years old now. I can feel my sexual drive is not as strong as it used to be. A lot of times I feel I do it out of boredom.
Yeah, I think the best strategy is to start working out as well. Sweat cleanses you I think, plus boosts esteem.
>>17292706
Yep, any progress I made during class time is lost on vacations because I close myself off.
