I, (22M) have a friend (21F) that I'm absolutely infatuated with. We've been friends for about a year and as time went on became very close. We are both in long term relationships. We ended up fucking around a month ago.
While there's no doubt what we did was ethically wrong I was incredibly happy when it happened and the days following. I was seriously on cloud nine. We didn't do it again because we acknowledged it wasn't right but would wait and see how we felt as time went on.
So we've been hanging out the past month (It's summer break, we attend the same college and are living in our college city for the summer). We had lots of fun things planned to do together during the summer and we were starting to do some of them. Kayaking, hiking, typical fun shit for young active adults.
Last Sunday I was walking her home at night and her boyfriend called her. They ended up talking for an hour and a half while I half listened. Some background, her boyfriend is super needy, controlling, etc. He makes good money but is overweight and lazy. She complains he never wants to get off the couch and do anything interesting. He is lacking in the size department. He gets upset with her daily for not calling him enough or giving him all her attention and time. I'm literally the polar opposite. I stay super busy trying to get out and go do things, I'm very fit, etc.
Since Sunday I've barely heard from her. Apparently he broke up with her one night and then said he didnt mean it the next morning (this has happened a couple times before) She seems depressed and keeps saying she just wants to be alone and sleep all day. I offered to give company or try and distract her but she seemed to want to be alone. Fine with me, I let her be. I swing by Thursday to say hi to her roommate who I'm also friends with and I see her about to hang out with some girl she's friends with. That's cool, I say hey and talk briefly before I head out. She texts me hours later saying thanks for stopping by-
>>17289546
-continuing in this post.
I'm confused at this point why I'm barely hearing from her because I know she can't be sleeping ALL day for 5 days. I'm also a little confused why she wouldn't fill me in, which is what I would expect to happen normally. So I'm being boxed out which seemed unusual to me.
We planned to do something fun today (friday) which required scheduling. Well, she totally forgot and slept in and missed it. She said the whole FUCK FUCK IM SORRY, etc. and asked how it was. I just said I'd tell her another time and i really wanted to talk to her but it didnt seem like the best idea (because I knew I was about to explode with insecurity and probably seem like an overly attached little bitch and go nuts).
So here I am. I would do anything to make this girl happy and I would never forget something planned with her. But I just feel like I've become an afterthought. Maybe I think we're closer than we really are. Im baffled why she goes nuts over her relationship when she says all the time it wont work out long term and how much her boyfriend stresses her out and acts whiney and drives her nuts.
At this point I think of my options. I know I like her to an unhealthy extent. Maybe I should just try and cut ties and do myself a favor long term. I don't know. If I weren't in the situation myself I couldn't imagine someone losing their mind so much over another person they like. But right now it seems like a lot of my happiness is based off of her, and I know that isn't good. Cutting myself off from her just seems impossible because I'm constantly thinking of her or hoping to hear from her at this point. -
-what the fuck do you do when you're this head over heels for someone? Especially when you get the sense you might not mean as much to them as they do to you? I can barely occupy myself to distract me from thinking of her. I know I'm a scumbag for cheating and immature and pathetic for being this obsessive of one person. At this point just typing this all out is a bit therapeutic, but i'll take just about any input on anything.
Just dont be a coward. Your gf needs to know what you did and move on (as you clearly moved on , on her)
Also this new girl wants you to go and take her, declare your love and all that shit
You are both young, stupid and self centered. Just be young and stupid, that will be enough
>>17289546
>female friend
Yeah no, it's not going to happen.
Welcome to Thunderdome.
