(1/3) I won't go into detail about my ethnicity but I basically come from a culture that does not believe in mental illnesses (unless they are undoubtedly severe like schizophrenia) or counseling. Here is my issue, after a suicide attempt a year ago I was hospitalized and diagnosed with Bipolar II. Which was really no surprise to me because after years of research I some what suspected it myself. I was put on an anti-psychotic and began CBT. I felt great, I could finally focus and control my thoughts. I was doing great in school and I was able to talk to strangers and socialize. ( I had been on an anti-depressant in the past that initially did nothing and then sent my into a long hypomanic episode where I embarrassed and alienated myself from my peers.) Although it didn't do much to stop my depressive episodes the ones I experienced were much more shallow then I when was off the medication and weren't as frequently debilitating as they once were. It completely got rid of my hypomania, which was great since I can get pretty hysterical and aggressive when hypomanic. Fast forward to 4 months later my dad basically forces me off of my medication and I immediately become hypomanic. I couldn't sleep and was incredibly energetic and he interpreted this as me feeling better and happy (despite the fact that I punched two holes in the wall and was acting like a complete idiot for a little over a week). So he weened me off my medication and took me out of counseling. Now I am doing terrible in all my classes.
>>17288893
(2/3) Barely passing all of them. I am having serious cognitive issues, I pretty much have dyslexia at this point. I misread everything and no longer have the ability to focus on simple tasks. I lost my natural ability to write essays and poems. I am struggling in math which used to be my strongest subject. My depressive episodes have returned and my productivity suffers. I've gotten into a lot of trouble at school since then. Getting caught/suspected of being intoxicated and few occasions where I made "disturbing remarks". I really don't want to be like this but it is impossible to approach my dad. He just thinks that I am a useless degenerate and I am starting to agree with him. When ever I ask him if I can return to counseling he seems offended and asks why. I usually give a bullshit reason or just walk away. Regardless of what I say he never follows up. I remember my first psych evaluation, for some reason he was in the room with me and barely let me talk. He was speaking for me and it was like my psychiatrist was ignoring me. Anyway I am going on a tangent so I will try to conclude this. How do I return to counseling and get back on my meds with out this faggot's help? I am 18 but don't have a job (since I am a student) and don't know how to go about this without him finding out. My apologies if I sound like a faggot who likes to play victim but it feels nice to vent on an anonymous image board.
>>17288897
(3/3)
TL;DR : I have a stubborn father who ignores my Bipolar Disorder due to the culture he comes from and is fucking me over. I have been on meds before and went through counseling so I know what it feels like to be somewhat stable. How do I go about returning to counseling and seek help?
Shameless bump
>>17289198
Hoover dam is a 100% chance of no failure.
i dunno how you can get meds, but on the other end of it...
you can learn about CBT on your own. read books/articles about it. explore yourself.
meditation helps with depression and mania. not your typical meditation. you can clear your mind no matter how urgent the thoughts may be. you can remember what it felt like to be on medication, and try to sustain it. imagine your head feeling heavy, and keep that feeling going. its sort of like self medication. just some alternative things i have learned.
>>17288893
I have BPII. I assume you are a minor?
In my jurisdiction (amerifag, Washington state) it is illegal to tamper with someone's medication, and children above a certain age can petition to be "emancipated" from their parents when it comes to medical decisions.
You should try talking to a social worker of some kind and telling them that your father is forcing you off your medication. That is absolutely neglectful and abusive.
>>17289457
I was a minor until very recently. I don't want to report my dad and ruin our relationship.
>>17289440
I have a self help book that I just started reading but I should look into a CBT book. Thanks. I used to meditate years ago but now it's really hard for me to focus on anything. I'll give it a try and probably end up forgetting about it within two days.
FInal bump
I had trouble financially getting medical help for bipolar due to an inability to hold down a job. Look into obamacare. It helps. I'm getting all my meds and visits for free through the state. I know that sounds like degenerate status but I'd rather go full force on my health now than have to be shackled to disability. Take your health seriously now, fuck you dad. Do it before you hit rock bottom aka drop out of school/cut ties with him during an episode/other dum shit/etc.
>>17291141
Fuck. No matter what I do I am fucked and will probably end up destroying my relationship with my father.
What country do you live in and where is your family from?
Talk with your school counselor about it or if there's some organization in your city with people who are free to talk with you anonymously about your problems?
Supportive bump
